Chill Pill Moment

Time to just go with the flow and not sweat the iddy biddy stuff. Tough though. The just-let-it-go part, that is. Always easier said than done when things aren't yet resolved. Plus, the stresses I have right now aren't exactly iddy biddy. Sigh.


I think I was going with the flow, actually. Living each day at a time. Taking things as they come. Before I got caught in a riptide and found myself under the surface, trashing under crashing waves. And then after awhile, I guess I just came to a point where I got tired of fighting for my life and just allowed myself to feel every sensation there was.

The cold. The push and pull of the tide.
The swirling and churning of choppy seas.

If stress is such a powerful force,
why can't love be the same?

I'd like to drown in love someday. The come-up-spluttering-eyes-blurry-nose-runny-gasping-for-air-desperately-reaching-upwards-to-catch-my breath-before-going-under-again kind of love. It's that forget-all-and-get-a-little-crazy-in-the-moment love that just catches you off-guard, you know? The kind that sweeps you off your feet then catches you before you hit the ground and never lets you go after.


Sure, ups and downs are sure to come but with every wave that crashes, another will rise. So if the highs are worth the lows, I guess I'm in for the ride. That's how surfers do it, too, right? Wait for a big wave, get on it, then hope to come out standing. And if it takes a trillion falls and a hundred million gallons of sea water in the mouth before successfully making it out of one good rip curl wave, so be it.

So be it.

They say that people who really fall in love fall madly in love. I get little glimpses of the love poets speak of sometimes, but I can't help but wonder if I'll see the 'mad', too, someday. Spontaneous, unpredictable, impulsive, always exciting – that kind of 'mad'. No over-thinking, no over-analysing, no games, no hots-and-colds, no grey areas, no emotional outbursts, no screaming matches, no unnecessary drama.

That's rocket science.
And I wasn't made for rocket science love.

I've only got enough fight in me to last the battles I have with what I can only refer to as my 'solo stresses'. (Issues where there are no other parties involved but myself, and only I can deal with them.) Only enough brain power and emotional charge for that. I can't go all out in a fight for the other stuff, too. At least not right now.

No rocket science nonsense this time.
If you'll do the sweeping, I'll do the falling.