Monday, December 31, 2007

Let Her Have Sex, Pleeeease?

Please note that this was a ONE-sided conversation... and FYI (a very important FYI, actually), I wasn't the one doing the talking. Heh.


Eh, how old is your dog ah? 11 years old? 12? Wah, old already hor? Has she had sex ah? Has your dog had sex ah? Huh? Huh? What is this, man... Come on lah. Let her experience everything once in her life lah. At least once. Before she dies. Haha. Have some young, aggressive, male meat.

*hysterical laughter*

*more hysterical laughter*

*laughter stops abruptly*

Wait a minute. Hold on there. How much did you buy her for ah? At least RM900, right? No, RM350 maybe? Okay, let's say it's RM350. Eh, you think and see... if one litter of puppies consists of 3 puppies also you make more than a thousand you know!!! Free money you don't want ah? Easy money I want, man! Let her have sex lah... Please, please, please, please, pleeeease??? Let her have sex, feel the pain, and then you make money out of her. HAHAHAHAHA!

*hysterical laughter continues till fade*


*blink blink*

I think I'm spending too much time listening
to crazy people talk to themselves, right into my ear.


Sunday, December 30, 2007

So Stress Can Die Wei

Tossed and turned around all night.

Collectively, I probably sneaked in one pathetic hour's worth of sleep throughout the night but, I'm hoping to be able to function like normal, without any major mishaps. Let's hope I don't fall down a flight of stairs and smash my face into concrete, okay?

Hands, feet, eyes, ears, head, limbs and torso, I'm calling you to attention! Please, please, pleeeeaaase work in tandem with one another. You canNOT let me down. Not this time. Please be in I'm On A First Date mode today. (That is arguably the highest, most-careful-to-be-in mode possible to womankind. It stands at par with I'm Walking Down The Aisle And I Must NOT Trip mode.)

So while Body tossed and turned last night,
Brain had a little extra awake time to do some thinking.

I believe that stress doesn't increase when distance of the new place from your old place increases. Down the road? Pfft. Can handle lah. Stress a bit only. Not even if it's a move from one state to another. I've more or less done that. No biggie. Cannot die. Stress levels only hike real high in the event of a major shift (like migration from one country to another) and you're expected to leave a life you've always known behind to start afresh in an entirely foreign land with a different culture.

But that's not what I'm going through right now, so... yeah. Distance? Not a factor. It's how long you've been at a place and how much rubbish you've accumulated, gathered and collected over the years that claims the blasted job of upping stress to deadly levels.

And it's official. I have A LOT of rubbish.

Si liao la zhi pai.
(English translation: Die already lah this time.)

The Hight Of Stress-ness

I cannot take it anymore.

I am this close (imagine forefinger 2mm away from thumb, please) to losing it. I have reached the peak in terms of stress levels that are deemed humanly possible to endure. I'm teetering towards the edge of climax point as I type. I know I'm supposed to be doing what I should be doing right now but... I cannot take it anymore lah.

Wanna know why?! I'll tell you why.

I'm making three shifts, to three different locations, at the same time, that affect the three places I most spend my time at – (1) Permanent Residence back in Penang, (2) Rented Home down in KL, and (3) Place of work, a.k.a The Office.

THREE!!! And are the shifting periods staggered? NO! Semua Januari. Semua pun mau Januari pindah! House and Home, 1 January; The Office, 15 January. All also want January. How to tahan like that!?

Stress can die, wei.

I cannot take it lah.

Did you know that moving house is reported to be one of the most stressful events a person experiences in life? It ranks somewhere among stress levels induced by the a death of a loved one, separation, divorce, and even losing one's job! And I'm moving in – not one – but ALL THREE LIVING-AREAS OF MY LIFE!!!

How to take it, I ask you!? Haih.

This is social disruption to the max, I tell you. Makes it difficult for me to function like I normally do. I feel the tension in my bones. It crawls under my skin and keeps me from sleeping without hours of tossing and turning under the covers. It makes me very highly irritable and I get very easily annoyed. I can only assume it must be a real pain talking to me these days. I embody cantankerousness and personify curmudgeonliness. Cross me and face ultimate death. Call me Grouch or Moods for they suit today's me to a T. I'd slam you for it in an instance and apologise, the next. Let's give and take, shall we?

Plus, I recently discovered (like two seconds ago) that social disruptions (like moving house) may have a negative impact on the body's ability to ward off HIV advancement. Psychologists at the University of California have found that psychosocial trauma resulting from changes in living circumstances is linked to shorter survival in monkeys infected with immunodeficiency virus similar in nature to HIV – the same virus that causes AIDS. (These findings were published in an issue of Psychosomatic Medicine in 1998.)

You see, 300 monkeys were tested during the course of that research and researches found that those who experienced changes in housing developed AIDS faster than those whose lifestyles remained unchanged. The authors of the paper speculated that the negative psychological factors may have activated the body's stress response system which, in turn, results in a change in stress-related hormones.


I sket. Problem is,
when sket, even more stress.

How to take this lah, I ask you!?

*deep breath*











*exhale completely*

It's still 2 days to the new year and I
already can't wait for January to pass me by.


BUT... mind over matter, Pam. Mind over matter. It's all about MIND OVER MATTER! Shift House, shift Home, shift Office – very big deal meh? No lah, not big deal also. Easy only wat. You can do it wan. No sweat. It's mind over matter. Just do the whole mind-over-matter, think-Zen-ish-thoughts thingy and you'll be fine.

Bottom line: Mind. Over. Matter.


Now, for some cheap thrills. Humour me.

Please highlight the space between the brackets.

[ Stresssssssssss. ]

Thank you for your kind cooperation.

Your two-second contribution to
this project is very much appreciated.

Monkey see, monkey do.


Saturday, December 29, 2007

Late Personified

Aargh! Why do I just suck so badly at meeting meet-up deadlines!? I'm pathetically incompetent when it comes to this. Like, totally. I'm always late. Like, a-l-w-a-y-s. Late, late, late, always later than late, and always later than the latest who's late.

*stares self in mirror*

You bimbo-brained, ditsy non-blond!


*blink blink*

Sorry. Siao liao. Gotta run. Late again.

*rolls eyes*



*skids to a stop*

*looks YOU in the face (sorta)*

Oh, and my apologies for the lousy posts of late (pun intended), guys. The holidays season is so NOT a time of rest for me. Been busier than busy. So busy you won't believe it. Will publish a real post soon. Promise. Still owe you Bangkok. And now, I owe you a cruise ship wedding, too. Ugh. Catching up's gonna be a b*tch. Anyhew, ciao!

*speeds off*

Friday, December 28, 2007

Posting A Post-less Post


Eye pain lah. Cannot tahan only. Cannot post cos cannot see what I type also. Typing by faith now. Luan luan lai and hope that when fire time, fire correct. See everything else also see stars eh di lah. Many many, twinkle twinkle, fly here fly there summore. Too terror this time. Like new year fireworks at Gurney Drive liddat. Jia lat. Update after take out lenses, okay?

Or maybe tomorrow.

Hmmm. We'll see, shall we?

Thursday, December 27, 2007


If you find yourself sitting at a desk, cracking your head and working your pretty behind off on this beautiful Thursday after Christmas, the 27th of December 2007... this message is just for you.

I'm sorry. Haha. I'm sorry for being a meanie. Haha. I just couldn't help myself. Haha. I'm hoping that apologising two sentences after will make up for the mockery I've put you through. Haha. Too free lah, I. Haha. Self-entertainment fills the gaps I find in my hours of consciousness, in very amusing ways. Haha. Makes me love my life even more than I already do. Haha. Haha. Haha.


EDIT at 0352 Hours: Oh, look at that! So geli hati cucuk orang until I even forgot to brand my HA! HA! image. Haha. Aiyah, what the hew. Not worth stealing also lah. (But do be courteous and leave me a note if you find yourself snitching it, alright? I'd appreciate it.)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

If You Don't Know Me By Now

Artist: Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes
Song Title: If You Don't Know Me By Now

If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me, ooo

All the things that we've been through
You should understand me like I understand you
Now baby, I know the difference between right and wrong
I ain't gonna do nothin' to upset our happy home
Oh, don't get so excited when I come home a little late at night
Cos we only act like children when we argue, fuss and fight

If you don't know me by now (If you don't know me by now)
You will never never never know me (You'll never never never know me, hey hey)
If you don't know me by now (If you don't, if you don't know me, baby)
You will never never never know me (No, you won't, uh hey)

We all got our own funny moods
I've got mine, woman, you've got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as we've been together that should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair when we can't see eye to eye, oh

If you don't know me by now (If you don't, if don't know me, baby)
You will never never never know me (Hey hey, hey hey, uh hey hey)
If you don't know me by now (If you don't know me by now)
You will never never never know me, ooo (No you won't, oh)

Most people don't know me. They don't get me. Much in the same way that they don't know my inner likes and dislikes. The real ones. The ones I don't say but only feel deep down inside. It's always been this way. And I guess that on some level, I've grown to accept things as they are. That I'll never be understood.

Sure, there have been times when people have gotten lucky and managed to somehow hit the jackpot with pinpointing my fancies but... those occasions are pretty rare. Generally speaking, I rarely get the best (meaning stuff I would be willing to cut off an arm, sell a liver, starve, beg and steal for) of birthday gifts, nor Christmas gifts, nor for-fun-no-reason-why gifts. Nice gifts, sure. Expensive gifts? Yeah, those too. But usually not the kind that unleashes a genuine, heartfelt smile followed by a heady giggle.

Makes me wonder why, you know?
I mean, am I that much of a mystery?
Am I that impossible to understand?


What hurts the most is that the people you think know you best, actually don't. And the people who should know you best, don't. They just think they do... but they don't. They don't. They just don't.

It's Over

And with just three ho's, Christmas '07 has
taken its place among the other yesterdays.

Sigh. I'm sad.

It felt like Christmas just whooshed by me without even a backward glance! Really! It's never really happened to me before. Not when it comes to the holiday celebration of the year. Heck, it's Christmas, okayyy. You don't celebrate New Year's Day, neh-mind. You don't celebrate Boxing Day, neh-mind. You don't celebrate whatever-other-day-there-possibly-can-be, neh-mind. But you never, never, NEVER miss Christmas. That's a sin in my books.

Crucify you, stone you to death,
stab you through the heart with a wooden stake.


So drama. But then again...

Sigh. I didn't even have a theme song this year, man. How sad is that? And seriously speaking, when it comes to Christmas, my annual Christmas theme songs usually appear before November! (Dun play play. I mean serious business when it concerns the jingle-bell season.) This time, I doubt I even managed to make it through my Christmas playlist ONCE, let alone put a specific song on replay for weeks on end. Ugh. How did I ever end up giving myself such a pathetic, music-devoid Christmas?!

Christmas, come back for me!!!

*puppy dog face, teary kitty eyes*


Pretty please?


Stay tuned for travel tales, inspired and prompted by my first visit to the Village of Olives in My First Time In Bangkok. Coming soon...

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Confusion Strikes

Too many comments to read, too many comments to respond to, too many things to say, too many thoughts to reveal, too many stories to tell, and too many blogs to read. How now I ask you!? How now!?

I'm confused.

Catching up with my online-ness is gonna be painful.


Also, something's not right. It's only a one-hour time-difference between here and Bangkok. (We're faster by an hour.) In the grand scheme of time-difference calculations, that's a real puny difference. The minimum possible. Then why do I feel jet-lagged? I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. Is that even normal???

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Merry Christmas, guys!!!

Am throughly beat from the trip and all but what matters is... I'm back! Wheee! Gone are the dark days of connection-less-ness. I'm gonna be hugging Mr MacBook to sleep every night from now on.

Falalalala lalalala.

Gotta run, though. Sigh. Be back in a jiffy.
Too happening a person, I am becoming, these days.


Bangkok updates in a bit.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Hello, Bangkok Speaking

Am posting from a HTC TyTN II. Tee hee hee. It pays to have a tech-savy, gadget junkie dad.

Friday, December 21, 2007


I don't know if I can do this. How will I ever survive this many days of comp-less-ness?! It'd drive any blogger to insanity! Now, I'll finally know how he feels when he's not as connected as he'd like to be. Sigh. Si liao lah zhi pai.


But, no time to mourn 'cos... TIME'S UP!

And I'm leee-veen' on a...


Scratch that. It's... on AN aeroplane,
in exactly... uh, 2 hours and 36 minutes.
(Whoa. My brain actually rejected that sum for awhile.
That's waaay too much Math before the sun comes up!)

Sigh. Am gonna find me a cyber cafe when I'm there so that I'll be able to get my daily shots of 'Publish Post'. FOR SURE. I hope. *gulp* Thank goodness I'm not the only tech-addict on board. Heh heh. It always helps when you've got gang members on board who'll fight for the same cause you advocate. =p

See you when I see you!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

CINA! Dia Tu Orang CINA!!!

I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a Chinese policeman on duty this morning. A Chinese one! It seemed so odd. I'd never seen one before this. Can you even imagine what he looked like?!

So odd, right? Haha.
I could hardly believe my eyes!

Almost like going to the zoo
and seeing this strolling around.

Haha. But okay lah, at least he was as tanned as the rest of them. I'll give him that, but still hor... similar skintone isn't enough lor. It doesn't cut it. Not when it comes to this police-in-uniform deal.

Can imagine or not?

Cannot? I help.

See? Not enough wan!!!

So, after running numerous visual experiments through Photoshop (I don't just say, okay. I research and prove theories, too.) I still stick to my original thoughts when I first saw Encik Polis Cina.

So odd!!!

Voraciously Gargantuan

I've been blog surfing the last couple of weeks. Just to see what other people write about daily. (You have no idea what people actually write about these days, man!!! Culture shock for me kau kau.) And to gauge what their blog traffic is like based on the nature of their posts and their writing styles.

I discovered something in the course of my research:
It doesn't pay to sound intelligent in your posts.

Bloggers who write diary-like posts in English that would shame QEII should just quit doing what they do. Many of these people turned out with the least readers and comments.

Firstly, there's the diary factor. (The one where people recap what they've done throughout the day with no purpose whatsoever.) I mean, if you wrote something topical and dissected the topic with bombastic words relevant to your post, then it's okay lah. That's just the use of jargons to aid understanding of the topic you're discussing. I'd understand. BUT if you use big words for the sake of appearing smart IN YOUR PERSONAL ONLINE DIARY, you might as well make it really personal and block the rest of us out. We don't wanna know how repast was with your confidantes. (That means supper with your friends.)

Stop writing like you type with a Dictionary in one hand and a Thesaurus in another, okay. Nobody really cares if you term 'people' as homo sapiens or that you are able to replace 'guilt' with compunction. Big words are overrated. Plus, it's time you got the bottom line, that is this: NOBODY CARES. It just irritates me no end when writers do it. Especially so when they put big, smart-sounding words to the wrong use!

*slaps forehead*

Hello, if you don't know the usage of the word
and don't even understand what it means,
don't use it lah!!!

*heaves heavy sigh*

You just succeed in proving to the rest of Cyberworld that: -

1) Your command of the English Language is beyond pathetic.

2) You're a Great Pretender who's pretending (keyword, keyword, keyword) to be what he/she is not.

3) You've got such lousy sense of self and low self-esteem that you find the need to hide behind a mass of big words when you blog for a faceless bunch of readers. We all don't know you lah! Do you think we care that you managed to spell the word 'recalcitrants'!? (That's people with an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority or discipline, if you didn't know.)

Anyway, intelligence is not what sells with the hosts of blog readers these days. No, no. We not that smart lah, okay. Don't kid yourself. Plus, with all those big words floating around, you kinda lose us along the way. It makes reading damn difficult loh. See also sien.

So what sells? Humour does.

And it does it whilst using
a hundred times less brain power.

Plus, if you didn't know, getting jokes and understanding sarcasm does require a certain degree of intelligence. Just check out the comments in this post and you'll see what I mean. Some people don't even get hints of sarcasm you think they'll get your full-fledged, super-power, Qxford Dictionary 'palaeopallium' ah?! (And that's a phylogenetically older portion of the pallium of the brain, which comprises mainly the pyriform lobe.) Please lah. Just give it up.

So go easy with the big words, alright? Most of us read blogs to escape the hard-hitting pulses of every-day life and responsibilities of the working world. We'd like to do it without having to turn to for help while we blog-surf. Thank you.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I'm done with work for the year. YES!

No more 9 o'clock mornings. I'm going to sleep without an alarm clock for the next two weeks. No more rushing to meet nightmarish deadlines. Procrastination, I welcome you home with open arms.

Mircrosoft Word, you better leave my
last two weeks of the year alone!!!

You are banned from making an
appearance till 2008 hits the shores.

Heh heh.

No more bad lunches and mamak dinners. It's Hokkien Mee (Prawn Mee to you KL-ites) for breakfast, choo char for lunch, and more choo char for dinner. YUM! No more late nights in a room full of smokers. It's a 10pm bedtime and a healthy dose of fresh countryside (can consider countryside lah) air coupled with salty sea breeze for two whole wonderfully glorious weeks.

Ahhh, I love my life.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sinful Pleasures

There are certain pleasures so delightful that it's pretty surprising to know that they come to us at no cost at all...that is, unless you consider time, money. If you're one of those who do, then it's really unfortunate. Cos, unfortunately for you, the price you are made to pay upon receipt of this form of pleasure is ridiculously and exorbitantly high.

Heh. Perspective is a scary thing, innit?

So, "What's that?" you ask, that brings such pleasure without the pain, such satisfaction without the price.

Afternoon naps.

That's what.

Three In One

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were...

Your short story MUST contain
the following three things:
1) Religion
2) Sexuality
3) Mystery

What you see below is the only story
that scored an A+, out of the entire class.

"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
That A+ was definitely well-deserved.

Even Weirdos Have Internet Connection

You never know who's stalking the net these days. It's freaky, yo! Like, very. Weird bloggers with weird posts who offer weird comments. Ugh. And this is even before KL goes WiFi!!! (Eh, is that rumour true ah?) Can you imagine what it'll be like when just about ANYONE gets to online? That'd be WWW-mayhem right there for ya!

I sket.

Anyway, my sudden realisation came
after I paid my Blog Analytics page a visit.

And friends, I found that Blog Analytics can
be a pretty interesting scary thing to study.

Take a look at a tiny portion of mine.

Let me make it a little bit clearer for you.

What!? Who in the world has body odor that's limited to ONE armpit only? Haha. Is that even biologically possible? He must have one nostril that doesn't work or something. Haha. Funny. Reminds me of the time a bunch of colleagues and I started discussing smelly pits over dinner. Haha.

Okay, it's time to get a new boyfriend, girl.
Or alternatively, put him on a new onion-free diet.


Looks like this problem is pretty standard, huh?
Well, I got the perfect fix to remedy it.
Click here. All problems solved. Sap sap suey.


I'll bet these people didn't know that their hush-hush, top secret, I-surf-this-stuff-only-in-the-privacy-of-my-room searches would eventually find itself featured online on a blog. =p

You know, it scares me when I discover that not everybody's as normal as we think they are. But then again, what's normality these days? Who defines and sets the rules to what's normal and what's not? I may be pretty normal to me... but to somebody else, the things I do make totally be freak-worthy.

Do I care? No.


F Language

I hope you know F Language. In fact, by now, YOU should be hoping that you know F Language. Haha. Because if you do, you're about to read the F Language joke of the century.

F for Failure: Eh, can I ask you about tomorrow's plan?

Pam Song: *whispers* He's here lah.

F for Failure: Okay, okay. Nevermind. *cunning glint in eye* Fhat Fine Far Fee Foing Foomorrow?

Pam Song: o_O WHAT!?

F for Failure: *speaks slowly and clearly* Fai Faid, Fhat Fine Far Fee Foing Foomorrow?

Pam Song: *frowns* Okay, I'm so not getting you. What the heck are you saying?! Speak properly lah!

F for Failure: *eyes dart towards person we're keeping the news from* Fart Fits Fupposed Foo Fee Fur Fecret!!!

Pam Song: *blink blink* *bursts out laughing* HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA. I get you now!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *holds stomach to keep lunch from coming out* Oh my goodness! That's NOT F Language, man. It's not even close!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *peels of laughter continues to fade*


Okay, so you'd probably only get this if you
know the basic rules of speaking F Language.

Trust me, though. It's freaking funny. Haha.

p/s: Ask me the rules to the language if you need clarification, alright? I'll be glad to make things clear for you. =)

Old Japanese Aunties Are Freaking Smart!!!

Was walking along the streets one day when I overheard an old lady talking on her mobile phone. Mind you, it wasn't just any conversation. Her super frustrated Jap voice kept going on and on about... get this... brightness.

Don't ask me why lah.
I never listen until so gou li.

So hor, listen lah!
Her conversation super geng wan, you know.

Jap Aunty: Blah blah blah (I don't understand Japanese lah) blah blah blah BRIGHTNESS! Blah blah blah BRIGHTNESS! Blah blah BRIGHTNESS blah blah!!!

Narrator: *pause in Jap Aunty's side of the conversation while other party speaks*

Jap Aunty: HAIYO! B-R-I-G-H-T-N-E-S-S! B! B! B! B for Bronchitis!!!


B for Bronchitis?! Don't Japs learn English like the rest of us do with B for Ball, or B for Blue, or even B for Buffalo?! They really are small people with a lot of bite and brain in them, huh? Haha. I see also I sket. Even if it's just an old Jap woman, doing her grocery shopping, whilst on the phone.

Yes, I eavesdrop.
More often than I don't.
Why? Got a problem?

Monday, December 17, 2007

The Height of Lameness

NOTE: Time of publishing does not represent time post was written. Hence, this post is officially backdated to represent time of writing.


Okay, this is really lame. I'm blogging in a home with no internet connection. I know what you're thinking, "An addicted blogger's home with no internet connection?! Highly impossible. Surely you must be joking, Pam."

Sadly, I am not.

Work's been crazy lately so the MIA-ness during work hours on my part hasn't been intentional. No choice lah, guys. A lot to finish in too little time. But but but... GOOD NEWS! Today marks my last day at work for the year so you can be sure that the many posts to come, will come. (I see my half-written drafts also I sket, I tell you. So many!) Also, the whole no-Internet-at-home deal is regrettable.

You know what? This is pathetic lah. Unbelievably pathetic and utterly shameful. And not to mention INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING. I swear if it's cos of the two lovebirds and the supreme nature of their irresponsibility (always never pay bills), I'll kill them upon their return from their premature honeymoon to Langkawi. (Yes, YOU BUGGERS! I know where you went!!! You can run but you can't hideeee!)

And then Internet Back-up Man, Ah Pau summore MIA these few days. Sigh. How to live like this? It's like being diabetic without getting the necessary insulin jabs, man!!! Argh! I so cannot do this. Blogging does not work without the Internet!!!

I. Need. To. Get. Connected.


The two of them are so dead a second time around.
Once they get back from their pre-moon trip...


Sunday, December 16, 2007

Too Beat To Blog


*more silence*

The end.


Okay, fine. I lied. I'm just not the diam-diam kind lah, you know? Cannot just leave things be and not say anything wan. But... know that I am taking a slight break from my usual style of writing. Just for tonight. I'm so dead tired that I can't even think straight anymore. I'd just be writing for the sake of writing and spilling out truck-loads worth of meaningless crap without any form of intelligible paragraphing and formatting whatsoever.


You have no idea how many times
I had to retype each sentence.

I so gotta do this some other day, alright?

See ya tomorrow, guys
(unless Insomnia comes to visit, that is).

The Warlords

10 Things I Learnt From The Movie The Warlords
(That's 投名状 if you're China-fied.)

1) Even martial-art kings get fat once they've aged. Tee hee hee.

2) Every man wants to be a hero. Even if they have to go face-down in the dirt in order to get there, they'll think that heroism is worth a little dust on the cheek. (They don't care if they get their clothes dirty in the process. It's not like they do their own laundry anyways. Pfft. Babies.)

3) True warriors fight with principle. They are men with a conscience... and they listen to it. There's a fine line between right and wrong, and they always know which side of that line to be on.

4) Always watch your back. It's a crazy, mixed-up world out there. You never know who's out to shoot you down.

5) Promises are meant to be kept. When they're not, relationships crumble. If you're not gonna keep it, don't bother making it. The person you said it to would have been better off without it.

6) Even the greatest of warriors fall into sin. And somehow, women appear to be man's greatest sin-inducing product on two legs. I hate that. Apa brotherhood also fly out the window.

7) Even crater-faces get lead actor roles in big-budget movies. Looks like there's hope for the rest of us yet.

8) Go macro. Always remember to look at the big picture. There's more to everything than just you. Plus, big-picture people tend to be the ones who eventually make it to the top.

9) War is a merciless destroyer of lives. It leaves behind, massive trails of deadened-but-still-beating hearts. There are always better ways to solve disputes.

10) Takeshi Kaneshiro is so leng chai! *salivates* Need I say more?

Go watch. Very nice. Too bad they rejected the offer for an Oscars nomination. I'm still loaded with questions so if you've watched it, I wouldn't mind a discussion. Proceed to comments page for that, alright? Some people aren't into spoilers so I shan't speak of the unspeakable here.

See, I so considerate. Hmmph!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Non-professional Professional Bloggers

Now, here's some blogger trivia
to spice up your morning...

I just recently discovered that in order to be a professional blogger, you don't have to be a 'Professional Blogger' per se. You just have to NOT be a professional anything-else and own a blog. Good blog, bad blog, high-traffic blog, low-traffic blog, personal blog, tech blog, gossip blog, celebrity blog – nobody cares. It's whatever blog you can think of or imagine! And if you successfully meet those two criterias (have no real job and own a blog of any kind)... tada! That officially makes you a Professional Blogger.

What is the blogging world coming to lah?!
There's some revising they need to do
in Blogger Land Dictionary.

If so, maybe I should stop doing what I do and just focus on blogging (and die of starvation in a few months cos I'm not earning mega-bucks from this stint). It'd be pretty cool to have a Professional something-something on my name card. (ALL professionals have name cards, okay. Must wan.) At least by then, nobody will ask if all I do all day is copy other people's writing. -_-

In Your Panty

Every girl needs an LBD.

It's the most basic wardrobe
must-have of all time.

But come on... how many ways can you artistically put scissors to thread and make an LBD look like an LBD without looking like all the other LBDs out there? Not many, I can tell ya. Ah, but then again, I'm not complaining cos I've always been a strong advocate of the simple LBD. That means no fancy-schmancy frills, laces, sequins or pleats for me, thank you very much.

And sometimes, if cloth texture, branding and the promise of superior quality already make all the difference, why bother messing with the cut or the design? Play it safe and sell whatever's normal to the masses and it's as close a promise as you'll ever get to make yourselves millionaires by the time you're 30 29.

So easy, right?


Some people like to experiment. And, fine. I'm all for stretching the boundaries of creativity in tailoring and going beyond NormalslashBoring but but but...

*points below*


That's an LBD with a pre-tailored
skirt-tucked-into-the-panty look, yo!!!


This dress reminds me of women who emerge from restrooms with their skirts tucked into their panties. And then don't realise it. And they walk all over the mall with their bums on display. And then they go home realising that that extra ventilation was not thanks to superbly effective air-conditioning. Haha. Eeyer.

But, oh well. To each his own. If you're into fetishes for such things, head over to Metrojaya, MidValley Megamall – the place where all your panty-tuck dreams come true.

p/s: I half expected to discover a toilet paper train peeking out from its behind, when I lifted that dress to take the above-seen pic. Haha.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Lonely Trolley

We've all been through patches of loneliness in our lives, haven't we? And, to be realistic, its only natural that loneliness strikes every one of us every once in awhile, isn't it? Nothing new, nobody exempted, no biggie. Thing is, when it does, you better be prepared to start seeing loneliness in just about everything.

Because, believe me, you will.

Let The Angels Sing Holy Holy!!!

So it all began with this to-die-for 'World Wrestling Champion of the Year' (so says some people) totally unaffordable belt from Topshop, right? Me being me, I just couldn't help but pop by for another look yesterday (just to whet my appetite for stuff I can't afford and feed my illicitly covetous desires)... and then I ended up MAKING A PURCHASE!!!


But, oh oh! Wait till you hear this:
It's a different smock-belt thingy altogether!


Not bad, right? Quite nice hor?

My favourite part of the price tag is
this little blue streak of marker.


Because of THIS!

It's on 70 PERCENT OFF, yo!

*does the Macarena*

I was initially still lusting over the other belt wan. But this sales representative tapped me on the shoulder and said in a thick Malay accent, "Miss, miss! U ken oso see all der bewlt ther hanging wan, tau? There punye ade 70% diskaun."


Do I really look that kiam siap?
Or cheap? Or like, just plain poor?!


Either way it's depressing.
My ego's officially bruised.


But what the hew. Haha. I got an RM126 smock-belt thingy (you know what, I'm just gonna call it belt from now on) for just 30 percent of its original price – RM37.80!!! THIRTY SEVEN RINGGIT AND EIGHTY SEN ONLY!!! I saved a whopping RM88.20!

*fans neck and pats forehead with a Kleenex*

Oh, be still my frantically palpitating heart. Over-excitement kills. And for a heavily discounted belt? So worth it not worth it lor.

But ohhh....

*heart melts*

Sooo wooorrrttthhh eeet!!!




Tonight I shall accessorise.

*contented sigh*


It's only 9.30 in the morning. 9.30!

I've already had my morning cup of milo, a good stand-and-look-busy chat, an ice lemon tea, an intense b*tching session, and I'm done warming my seat (twice over)! This is insane. So surreal.

This is NOT a normality.

Don't expect this of me on a daily basis. I will mogok like you've never seen mogok before. Consider yourself forewarned.

7 In The M

My braincells are screaming at me. They're rioting on the inside. A full-fledged protest to tell me that it's still bedtime and this whole ridiculous getting-up-at-five-thirty-in-the-morning-to-make-it-to
-work-by-seven deal isn't I-want-to-keep-my-job...

It's s-t-u-p-i-d-i-t-y.

Don't they understand that people
like me don't do mornings well!?

2 hours of sleep is NOT enough.

*grumble grumble grumble*

If I pass out sometime during the day, I totally blame Black & Gold and everything else in between. Free breakfast? Pfft. So not worth the number of extra hours I would (which, now I won't) have had snuggling under the covers.

Cannot take this lah.

I need to smash a clock.

AARGH, Not Again!

Blogger's screwed up.
My in-text and label links aren't showing.

Haih, what is this lah.


Please please please be a blogger-default-template pro. Because if you've already grown accustomed to the link placements of this particular template (it's a common one), it really isn't all that difficult. If you've mastered the art of 'seeing in the dark' here, by all means, go ahead and continue clicking away. Those links are still there and they'll lead you wherever you wanna go. I checked. They're just... (this is gonna sound really, really stupid) ...invisible.

I Got Smurfed!

By a partially Siamese, eyeliner-junkie, Risk Analyst from Singapore who claims to be a pink Smurf with the memory of a goldfish.

Awww, look at that.
She reads me word for word.

*heart melts*

How sweet.


Oh, and the woman has lived to 21 without
ever having tried nasi lemak before.


(Pun intended.)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Height Of Ah Beng-ness

So it's semangat black and gold season. Conversations at the workplace over the past week have revolved around nothing but that. (We're shallow people, we know.) "What are you wearing?" "What time you going?" "Where is it held?" Aargh! It just tirelessly goes on and on and on and on and on!

Colleague 1: Wei, what happened to our theme of togetherness?

Pam Song: You design something lah. Then we all draw.

Colleague 1: No, no, I want the super emo-punk-rock eye make-up! I go online and find later.

Pam Song: Eh, we can also go and buy black nail polish mah! Quite funky right? Can be classy also, depending on application.

Colleague 2: *over-excitedly* Or or or we can also get gold! That'd be even better! We'll all do it together! Then we can have gold fingernails together!!!

Colleague 1 & Pam Song: *blink blink* -_-

Pam Song: Like, hello. Yuck. That's jinjang-ness to the max, yo.

Colleague 1: Yeah, man. Even I know the limits of my Ah Beng-ness.

You know you've crossed a terrible line when the Ah Beng of the company says that your suggestion is just too Ah Beng... even for a super Ah Beng like him. Haha. Bottom line: gold fingernails are a big no-no. Fashion faux pas of the highest degree, yo.


WQS = Very New Car

Don't worry. That wasn't a mistake. I know my Rules of Acronym-ing very well, thank you. =p It's something else. Here's the Power of Three list of equations you'll need for understanding the rest of this post better.

WQS = Very New Car.

Accident = Sakit.

WQS + Accident = Super-kaulat-nothing-else-can-fight sakit.

Haha. So drama.

You see, there was this one-car accident in KL last night and I happened to be fortunate enough to be there to witness it.


Eh eh! What's that ah?
Eh, got accident!!
Where?! Where?!



The guy jumped the curb, uprooted a bunch of sidewalk barricades, slammed into a lamp post and killed a trashcan.

Yes, those are painted Styrofoam reindeer antlers
dressed in Christmas lights that you see in the foreground.
Haha. It's Christmas season!

And then the Polis Peronda came...

Tene tene! Tene tene!

*insert Darth Vader theme song here*

Silence please.
Very important discussion going on here.
Wait wait. Let me zoom in for you.

So terror hor? No wonder I feel as safe as I do in Malaysia.

And then the REAL cops stopped by
to show power and do their thang.

Flashing blue lights and men in uniform
always make me go weak in the knees.

More standing around looking busy.

Oh, and by the way, that guy in the white shirt was the
professional driver who rammed his car into the lamp post.

Hero lah this guy. Bulldozer.
Even these got ripped out from the ground.

So yeah, that's it.

WQS. New car. Sakit.

So guys, the moral of today's story is this:
Don't drink and drive. It's never worth it.

(I don't care if he wasn't intoxicated.
I'm MAKING this an anti-intoxication post.)

Have yourselves a very merry Christmas.

Cheers! =)

To Buy Or Not To Buy?

That is the question.

So here's the deal. Something's coming up and I'm in need of black and gold. And as is for most people I know, black isn't the problem. It's the search for gold that's turning out to be a royal pain.

Went on the hunt and ended up falling in love (and buying) a silver necklace and a not-so-matching bracelet instead. Very mature-but-not-at-all-aunty accessories that I'll probably wear at a wedding this coming end-of-year. Perhaps I'll show 'em to you someday. Or maybe even now. Lemmie just find my camera...

*blink blink*

Hold on a friggin' minute, yo!

Pam, FOCUS!!!

Okay, sorry. Where was I?

Oh yeah. So I'm desperately in search for some gold and time's running out! My deadline's this Friday. (Men, it may seem like decades away to you but WOMEN DON'T SHOP FOR IMPORTANT ACCESSORIES AND HIGH-FLIER CLOTHES IN TWO DAYS. Pfft. Even the mere thought of it is so ridiculous, it's driving me to hysterics.)


And that's where Topshop comes in. You see, the store at KLCC has this God-sent smock-belt thingy (I so don't know what it's really called) that's just perfect for the occassion. Why? Cos it comes in BLACK and GOLD! (Duh. Haven't you even been pretending to pay any attention to what I've been saying all this while?)

See! See!


Perfect, right? But wait. Now the problem is this: It costs a wallet-bleeding, no-need-to-eat-for-the-rest-of-the-month RM135. How now!? Sigh. I need to think.

Option 1: I could get a friend to lend me his Topshop card and get 10% off on my purchase. RM13.50 off – measly, but better than nothing. That would make the smock-belt thingy (what the heck is it called!?) RM121.50. Hmmm. Not enough discount. Penang people very kiam, remember?

Option 2: I could use this RM25 rebate receipt voucher a colleague gave me. (So kind of him hor?) That would then make the smock-belt thingy (can somebody please tell me what it's really called!?!) RM110. Hmmm. I'd be saving RM11.50 more than if I used the discount card. That's enough for lunch AND nasi lemak bungkus for tea!

That's it. I think it's decided. That last sentence said it all. I'm taking Option 2. That is, IF I eventually succeed in killing all brain cells and finding myself making that purchase.


What do I do? What do I do?
Do I get it? Do I not? How now!?


What Others Call Mistakes...

...I call ART.

Or at least that's what I've been
trying to tell myself since lunch.


Remember the first Big Man Boss I wrote about? (Read about that unfortunate mishap here.) Well, I screwed up – like, royally – in his presence AGAIN. *slaps self right across right cheek* WHY AGAIN LAH!? *slaps self across left cheek this time, for good measure*

SCENARIO: It was a colleague's birthday today and the lot of us tried our hand at playing good colleagues (for once). We decided to bring the fellow out for lunch, on us. Thing was... Big Man Boss was set to make an appearance, too! Tene tene! Tene tene! I sket. But what to do? Buat tak tau and play it cool only loh, that's what. It's the safest bet anyways.

So there I was, nonchalantly pouring some thick soya sauce into my shallow sauce bowl (is that even what you call 'em? How I ever ended up working as a writer is beyond me). I slumberly look around. Phew. No eyes on me. Big Man Boss was talking to some other big shots that were seated at my table. Safe. Mana tau, calamity strikes... AGAIN! So suey! And then what happens? ALL eyes on me lah!!! Aaarrrggghhhh! The top of the stupid soya sauce bottle totally came off and I ended up dressing the jinjang yellow table cloth with some Picasso-looking thicksoyasauce graffiti.


Haih. I tell you ah. Fed up.

Look lah!

Big Man Boss immediately turned
to me and exclaimed, "PAM!"

*bottom lip quivers*


Never has my name carried with it so many arrows
that are headed straight for my already-fragile heart.

Stupid bottle.

Ugh. What's worse is that I don't even take
thick soya sauce with my food to begin with! ROAR!


Thick soya sauce – the Career Killer.

Eh, now I see see hor. Not bad lah.
Haha. Quite artistic also, right?


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Putting The Gingerbread Man To Good Use

I don't like ginger. Am not a fan of its taste. (Yuck.) So other than playing decorative items that hang from dusty Christmas trees, gingerbread men serve me no purpose whatsoever.

Till now...

*evil glint in eye*

Step 1: Find a gingerbread man.

Step 2: Pick it up (with clean fingers, mind you).

Now, Step 3's the best part. If you've got somebody you particularly dislike, or even somebody who happens to be rubbing you the wrong way, do this: BITE ITS HEAD OFF!!! HARD!!!

For a throughly fulfilling, glee-inducing, stress-relieving experience, don't forget to picture a miniature, ginger-flavoured brownish-looking, flat-bodied them while you're doing it.

Oh, and smile as you chew... and chew... and chew.

Mmmm. SYOK!

Going Pains

And no, that wasn't a typo... if you were wondering. As though going to work yesterday wasn't bad, going home was equally as bad if not worse! Going home yesterday was just painful.

A half hour to leave the parking lot: Painful.

Brake lights in the face: Painful.

Median driving speed: Painful.

In an hour-long jam all the way home: Painful.

I hate Selangor.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


10th Anniversary Edition (or something like that).

Got it from the Biggest-Man-Boss sometime last week. Or was it the week before that? Hmmm. I don't remember. He came by my table and said, "Here, Pam. This is for you. Read it. You don't have to return it to me after you're done with it. You can keep it." Then, he smiles and walks away.

*blink blink*

It's the second time he's done something like this.
I wonder if it's some coded message to tell me
that I should buck up and work harder. Haha.

Anyway, the bottom line is this:
when boss give, YOU READ.

I Hate It When Selangor Goes On Holiday

They so don't deserve it. (Not yet. *grin*)
Plus, they make life hell for us in KL.

I paid RM3.20 for a SMOOTH drive. But did I get a smooth drive in return for the money I forked out? NO! Why? Cos it's was freaking jammed the moment I passed through the second toll. Look lah!

*grumble grumble*

Hit Bangsar also jammed.

*grumble grumble*

And guess what? After being stuck in barely-moving traffic for a whole half hour, I finally found out that it was cos they closed TWO LANES right under the Bangsar LRT station. For what? For NOTHING! The police were just playing professional posers in uniform, standing there chatting the morning away!

*grumble grumble*

Then, as though not enough,
reach Jalan Kuching also jammed!
Why? Cos they closed Jalan Parlimen!!!

*grumble grumble*

Made it to work by 11.25am (shocker)
...and I wasn't even the last one there.

Stupid Selangor holiday.

*grumble grumble*

p/s: My friend says it may be cos the police are worried that them Selangor buggers may riot and create havoc in KL city. Hmmm. Maybe. That's an explanation I'm willing to buy.