Ugh. Meh. Bleh.

Since Wednesday, it’s felt like I’ve been 

trapped on a never-ending carousel – in and out 

of hospitals and clinics, round and round, day after day.

16 April 2025, Wednesday: Ultrasounds + Consult with my Breast Surgeon @ Gleneagles Medical Centre.

17 April 2025, Thursday: Blood tests + X-Ray + Zoladex + Consult with my new Oncologist @ Sunway Medical Centre.

18 April 2025, Friday: My new helper who's been with us 2+ months has always had allergies. But she developed an extra bad allergic reaction to goodness knows what overnight so I brought her over to the pharmacy for some antihistamines in the evening. Unfortunately, it didn't help address the issue. So later that night, we ended up at a nearby clinic pula for her to get shots. 

19 April 2025, Saturday: Uneventful on the medical front today – thank God – but positively perfect on the religious side of things. 🌈✝️ #EasterWeekend 

20 April 2025, Sunday: Brought my helper back to the clinic a second time cos the effectiveness of the shots wore off and her allergies came back. 😮‍💨💉💸 (No more pics cos bo lat and muak already.)

Ugh. It feels like I've not had the chance to really unwind and catch my breath after my hormone therapy, which then leads to lingering tiredness and emoness maximus all weekend and into the new week. I go to bed most nights feeling crummy, emo and sad. 

Zoladex also gives me insomnia to a certain extent. For about a week. These few days in particular, I find myself lying awake in the dark, being unable to sleep, feeling frustrated about lying awake in the dark being unable to sleep 🙄, and just hating everything and nothing at all. Yes, it all but makes sense.

It makes me miss the days when life was simpler – easier. When a steady diet of fast food and roti canai didn't matter, when window shopping was considered exercise, and when the nights were young and the knees were good. 🦵 (Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I also hurt my left knee by accident sometime 2 weeks ago and it hasn't been right since. Sigh.)

I miss my life in KL, I miss the places I used to frequent, I miss the supermarkets, I miss the malls, I miss the highways, I miss my friends, I miss my community – MCKL, CHCKL, USJ9, E0506, #ChilternMoms, #SuperMoms, and of course all the standalone friends that I made along the way – all of it; all of them. I miss it all. 

But here I am. This is life. It is what it is.

Hooked Up Right, Left & Center!

Finally got my fuzzy wraps, catheter and drip removed. Big hurrah even though the line on my left hand is to be kept in till I'm discharged. BUT. THAT'S. OK! Cos earlier, I was hooked up to so many things, I could barely move! So this is a very welcomed improvement. On a whole, I’m finally feeling more human and less bionic woman today. 

Me and my three drains to remove excess fluids from my insides.

My plastics doctor calls these my "medallions". 🏅🏅🏅 LOL.

On a separate note...

#crazyhairdontcare 💁‍♀️

Earlier, I had both arms and both legs all wrapped up in what looked like quilt stuffing, a drip on my left hand, a catheter between my legs, three drains coming out from my upper body (one from each boob and one from my right pit)... *deep breath* ...and both my legs (knees down to my ankles) wrapped up in the adjustable attachments of a machine called the VenaFlow® system, which helps with my circulation while I'm not moving. 😅

La familia.

The doctors expect me to be hospitalised for a week. But just a day post surgery and I'm down to the three drains + the line on my left hand (for antibiotics and emergencies) + the VenaFlow® system at night during bedtime so... I'm liking my odds! Slowly slowly la. We're getting there, Pam. We're getting there! 💪💪💪

Fingerprint Cracks

...that started with the drying of the skin around the tips of my fingers that led to small (but painful) cracks along the grooves of my fingerprints. One particular crack eventually grew so wide and deep that it opened up started to bleed. 🩸 #slipperyslope #justmyluck

Ouch.

The result of a handful of people at home and one person doing all the dishes. 😅 How deep is your love, you ask? Pretty darn deep, I’ll tell you that. #dontjusttalkaboutit #doitforlove #actionsspeaklouderthanwords

Chemotherapy + Immunotherapy Round 6

1.57pm – Anti-allergy cocktail hour is about to begin!

2.01pm – Hello, Piriton! We meet again!

This drug makes me super loopy and drowsy. 🤪

The beginning of the end...

4.35pm – Having a healthy snack and warm drink in between.

8.01pm – 6 hours later, I'm finally done with all the IV meds.
Phew! Am really glad that the next 12 times will be quicker.
Theoretically la, since it's just Herceptin left.

Biggest, baddest needle in all the land. 💉

So darn painful and the site aches for days after.

So glad this is going to be my LAST Zoladex shot as well!

I can't believe we've finally come to the end of my chemo journey. Taxotere Carboplatin 4 + 2, done and dusted. Zoladex, too! Wheee! Sure, there are still a bunch of stuff that are yet to come (like radiotherapy) and that are ongoing (like immunotherapy) but... the end of chemotherapy is truly a moment to celebrate. I can't wait to say goodbye to nausea, indigestion and extreme lethargy. That deadly trio is possibly the most horrible part of chemo, if you ask me. That and the various stages of hair-loss. 💁‍♀️  Next up, radiotherapy 15 + 5! Woot woot! Bring it on!

If You Fail, Try And Try Again. Literally.

The good days are over and I'm back at the hospital

with my #gamefaceON to suck it up and kickstart the bad.

I was so ready today. Went in bright and early to get my blood-work done, feeling real confident about everything, but... unfortunately, the veins in my good hand didn't get the memo. 🤦‍♀️ Cos... tadaaa... FAIL!

Ouch.

I was given a comfort pack

thereafter to soothe my hand.

Top part look pretty and pink but the underside is quite jijik. 😬

I also think the nurse felt a bit bad for me la cos she looked like a young trainee in her white, regular-ward uniform. (I was told those in such uniforms were just standing in cos the unit is understaffed.) She called in one of the usual lady onco nurses after that – blue uniform. Well, guess what? FAIL AGAIN! 😩

Looks (and feels) to me like

Chemotherapy + Immunotherapy Round 3

is NOT off to a good start! 😠😤

That lady onco nurse then called in the pro – Fitri – a male onco nurse who seemingly never misses. When I saw him head over, I breathed a sigh of relief. And true enough... bingo. Success at last.

Third time's the charm.

Had my blood taken and sent off to the lab,

then sneaked out for a quick breakfast with Mee.

All ready and in place for IV-ing later.

A Bump On The Head Leaves A Bunch Of Hair Dead

Dressed up for JJ’s 5th birthday today cos we’ve got some party plans later. And, if you didn’t know, a Song party means lots of pics so... OF COURSE must pasang kuat a bit la. 🙆‍♀️ (This is #momlevel pasang kuat. Don’t judge.) And since I’ve still got a head full of hair, OF COURSE must take lots of pics! 😎

Had to run over to TESCO to get some last minute stuff for the party and to pick up JJ’s 2nd rainbow cake this birthday prior to that. 🌈🎂 All was going well, I was happy, the kids were having a good time, I did some shopping, and then... on my way back into the car, I bumped my head. 🤕😲😱

No biggie, right? Hah! Wrong!! ❌❌❌

Not when you’re on Taxotere chemotherapy. 

I immediately touched the bump site to check on things, and my heart dropped when I felt a bunch of hair that was out of place. Worse, it felt like loose hair. Read: Hair that’s NOT stuck to my head. 😳 I lightly picked at the hair and, to my horror, it came off. Like, about 10 strands of hair just CAME OFF!!! 😱 *faints*


Got home, rushed up the stairs, got into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Made sure to lock it, too, lest I freak out the kids. Then, I carefully took off my rubber band. Jialat. Saw another bunch of hair stuck to it. Finally, I ran a comb through my hair, and faced reality – okay, today is the day alright. 😢

That’s (almost) all the hair I lost

from just one bump on the head. 🤕

And it wasn’t even a painful bump to begin with. 😒

So what did I do next?

I retied my hair and got on with my day. 💁‍♀️

JJ's 1st Sticker

Ethan got his first sticker from school today. It was sneakily hidden on his button. Mommy gets super excited of course. And this conversation ensues.


Pam Song: Wow!! Ethan you got a sticker today!! 

JJ: I have a sticker. 

Pam Song: Who gave it to you?? 

JJ: Zu. (His English-speaking class teacher.)

Pam Song: Why? What did you do? Were you a good boy today? Why did she give you a sticker today? (Too excited to wait for his answers to come. LOL.)

JJ: I never fight with my friends. 🤗

Pam Song: 😳

LOLOLOLOL!!!

😂😅😂😅😂😅

Oh, what will I do with this boy. 🙃

Motherhood Resumes

Barely 4 hours back from #holidate2016 and already, JJ has right-hooked my left eye once, elbowed my nose once and head-bumped my lips twice. Yup, it's back to reality alright! Welcome home, Mommy!

Parental Abuse

A busted lower lip, courtesy of my son.

Sigh.

I really don't understand la. How is it possible that a 9-month-old's head is this hard?? And why can't he sleep like a log (literally, please!) instead of helicopter-ing all over the bed at night, all through the night?? Turn here, turn there looking for his sweet spot on the bed... like a worm! He gave me that busted lip in the middle of the night last night. (I took that picture this morning.) And during his afternoon nap today, he gave me another bruise under my chin. I'm a real pretty sight to behold now, I can tell ya that! -_-'''

Dental Drama

I've always had pretty good teeth. And I was pretty vigilant with my 6-month to 1-year check-ups for the longest time. Even used to have a toothbrush, some toothpaste and a roll of dental floss stuffed in my top drawer at MCKL for whenever I felt I needed a brushing or flossing mid-day... or midnight, for that matter. -_-'


But then Life got in the way. I quit my job at MCKL, moved back to Penang, went on a 3-month holiday in Australia, got engaged whilst I was there, came back to Malaysia, started a new job at KRPG in Penang, planned a wedding, got married, turned 27, relocated back to KL, started freelancing for MCKL, and then got pregnant... all in less than 2 years. @_@


So, yes. As you can see, Life really got in the way back then. Haha. I don't know when it happened but I began to sideline my dental appointments – sacrificing them for precious meet-ups with the folks, family and friends whenever I find myself back in Penang with a little free time on my hands. I mean, come on. I'd rather be sitting down enjoying a hearty breakfast with people I love and care about rather than sitting in a waiting room at a dental clinic, waiting to sit in a dentist's chair. Wouldn't you?


When I heard that pregnancy could take a toll on dental health, I didn't know how true it would be until I actually experienced it myself. My teeth really went to hell after my pregnancy la, I tell you. I don't think breast feeding is helping much either. Remember that mysterious nightly toothache I had back in October last year? Well, turns out it wasn't nothing. The dentist just couldn't do anything for me at the time cos I was pregnant. -_-'''


After my son was born and I was done with my confinement, I decided to pop over to Penang Dental Surgery to get my teeth sorted out. I no longer suffered from toothaches but I was dealing with a lot of sensitivity. I assumed it was cos of all the vomiting I did, beginning from my first trimester, right up to the Week 18 of my pregnancy. T_T #morningsicknessucks


This time around, they could finally take an x-ray of that molar that was bothering me last year. And that's when I got the tragic news. Because I was pregnant then and had to put off treatment for a good 4 months, it's now too late to save that tooth. I needed a root canal!! -_-''' What??? Me?! A root canal!? At 28?! NooOOooOoOooooOooo!! T_____T


So, no choice. The dentist gave me two big-ass LA jabs, installed the dental dam and got to work. Or at least she tried to. My tooth just wouldn't numb up! I could feel everything she was doing! So she said she just couldn't proceed and suggested I see an endodontist (i.e. a root canal specialist) and get a root canal done by specialists and under sedation instead. But guess what. There aren't any endodontists in Penang. WTH. -_-'''


She suggested that I see Dr Jac Lam at Wisma Perintis (contact below) and gave me a super ugly, temporary filling to cover up the gaping hole she had put in my molar. :-/ But, me being the professional procrastinator that I am, I ding-dong-ed and dilly-dallied for a couple of months (I wasn't in any pain ma) before I finally made the call. And then I was told I could only see him a month later. So all in, by the time I managed to see Dr Jac Lam, it was already three months from the time my tooth was opened up.


In the mean time, I decided to see another dentist in Penang – Dr Andy at SmileBay Dental Surgery (contact below) – for a second opinion. To my surprise, I ended up really liking his service. He was very pleasant, personable, and knowledgable. Puts a lot of thought into his work, if you ask me. He also ended up finding FOUR cavities (other than that root canal) that he needed to work on. -_-' Told him I needed a breast-feeding friendly LA if he's going to be doing any deep drilling and that's when he said:


Dr Andy: Ahhh... You vomited a lot during pregnancy issit? 

Pam Song: *nods slowly* Uh huh...

Dr Andy: Eat in the middle of the night then too tired to brush teeth issit?

Pam Song: *shamefully* Urm... yeah.

Dr Andy: That's why your teeth are so sensitive and you've got cavities now! Quite normal, actually. A lot of my patients also suffer from this after pregnancy. Make sure you take Calcium. 

-_-'''

So, now you know. If you plan to get pregnant or are already pregnant, make sure you gurgle with mouth wash each time after you vomit, brush your teeth in the middle of the night even if you're tired, and supplement your diet with Calcium even if swallowing pills makes you want to puke some more. Don't make the same mistake I did. Sigh. =(


Anyway, I got my 4 fillings sorted out with Dr Andy that day – I highly recommend him! – and left the root canal work for the professional. Time went by and before I knew it, my appointment with Dr Jac Lam had arrived. And I must say that after having seen him, I am more than pleased with his work. He was kind, gentle and very professional. His gadgets were really cool and high-tech, too. Haha. Oh, and he was so good at his job that he managed to perform my root canal WITHOUT the use of any sedatives. Only LA. Woo hoo!

Post-root canal x-ray to ensure that the job was well done. The tooth

he worked on is the one that's standing on bright, white roots.

Yay for me, that x-ray showed that Dr Jac Lam did a good job with the root canal. Unfortunately for me, that x-ray also shows a cavity in the tooth next to it. -_-''' HAIH! One thing after another! Rawr! Thing is, Dr Jac Lam doesn't do fillings, or crowns, or any other piece-of-cake dental work like that. To easy for him. Endodontists only work on the heavy-weight stuff. Haha.


So... I went back to Dr Andy's dental chair in Penang a week later, to get my mouth moulded for the crown and that molar next to it drilled, cleaned and filled up. That was last Saturday. Dr Andy was kind enough to rush my crown out for me – in case I leave for KL earlier than planned – so I had it fitted in this Monday morning. That was yesterday.

My new crown.

Well, 5 fillings, 1 root canal and 1 crown later, The Husband is over RM4,000 poorer (T_T) but I'm glad that my dental health is now back on track, my toothache troubles are over, my tooth restorative work is complete and I can finally begin to enjoy going to the dentist again. Phew! What a rough journey. I haven't had this many fillings or this much dental work done since like... ever, man! I tell you ah... my next pregnancy – if there ever is another one – had better be different. I cannot take going through this horror again!


---------------------------------------
JAC LAM ENDODONTIC PRACTICE
---------------------------------------
Suite 4-07 Wisma Perintis,
47 Jalan Dungun,
Damansara Heights,
50490 Kuala Lumpur,
Malaysia.
Tel: +603 2094 2860

Opening Hours:
Monday to Friday: 9am to 5:30pm
Saturday: 9am to 2pm, Sunday: Closed

p/s: I highly recommend Dr Jac Lam if you need any hardcore dental work done. He's VERY expensive (my root canal cost RM2,000 – without a crown!!!) but he's worth every penny you spend. Apparently, there are only 4 endodontists in the whole of Malaysia – 3 in KL and 1 in Johor. If you're looking for an endodontist, it might as well be him.


---------------------------------
SMILEBAY DENTAL SURGERY
---------------------------------

NOTE: They have many outlets in Penang. (See website.) I've only been to two out of the five and both times, I saw Dr Andy. I know for sure that he shuffles between the following two outlets so if it's him you want to see, I'd suggest going to either one of these two outlets:

TANJUNG BUNGAH (HILLSIDE) OUTLET:

No. 1-A, Jalan Tanjung Bungah,

Tanjung Bungah,

11200 Penang, Malaysia.

Tel: +604 899 3800

Consultation Hours: 

Monday to Saturday, 9am to 6pm 

Closed on Sundays & Public Holidays

ISLAND PLAZA OUTLET:

118-M-06, Island Plaza, 

Jalan Tanjung Tokong, 

Tanjung Tokong, 

10470 Penang, Malaysia. 

Tel: +604-8900 600

Consultation Hours: 

Monday to Saturday, 10am to 6pm 

Closed on Sundays & Public Holidays

Website: http://smilebaydental.com

p/s: I actually prefer Dr Andy to any of the dentists I've seen at Penang Dental Surgery. Their prices are competitive anyways. Plus, you never really have to wait long at his clinic, or wait weeks/months to schedule an appointment with him. Having said that, I've decided to jump ship and go to him for all my dental work from now on. You guys should give him a try if you're looking for a regular dentist. 

The Price Of Old Christmas Wrappers

Had no choice this year but to use some old Christmas wrappers I'd accumulated and saved over the last decade cos I couldn't go shopping for new ones to help Mama wrap her Christmas gifts for the family. (Was still in confinement at the time ma. How to go shopping?) Ended up saving us some time and money... but paying the ultimate price:

MAAASSIVE ALLERGYYYYY!!!

All over my hands, palms, wrists, arms, neck, waist, joints... and don't even get me started on my confined behind. OMG, the itch! All through the night and then some! I only managed to get a little relief  – just a wee bit – 18 hours later, after a visit to the hospital and popping a Gynae-approved, breast-feeding-friendly antihistamine before my son's Full Moon dinner on Christmas Eve '12. Ugh. Suffer sial. Doubt I'll be touching those Christmas wrappers ever again. >(

...unless I forget come Christmas next year and

go digging through my decade-old wrapper stash. Again.

@_@

*gulp*

The Result Of Carelessness... Not Anger

Boxed a corner of a shelf by accident while reaching into my wardrobe after my bath last night and tore off a slim piece of skin at the back of my middle finger, on my right hand. Haihhhhh...

Lasagne Meets Microwave

I couldn't finish my Beef Lasagne during dinner with The Husband and his family at Italiannies two nights ago. (Actually, The Husband and I were supposed to share it but he didn't even take a bite! His fault entirely. Yes, siree.) So, we tapau-ed the leftovers and I made it lunch today.

But... it got waaaay too chummy with my microwave

and stayed in there a little too long past its welcome.

2 minutes too long.

Very artistic, no?

I should totally convert one of
these pics into my new blog header.

*flips hair*

Oh, and yes, in case you were wondering,

I had HEAPS of FUN cleaning up

my microwave after this party. -_-'''

Foot Meets Bin

HAIH. Kena accident. AGAIN.

Sometimes I wonder if I

walk around like I'm blind. T_T

The night before we left for Bangkok, I tripped over our check-in luggage on the way to the toilet in the middle of the night, and effectively gave my right knee a big-ass bruise and grazed the insides of both my heels slightly. The pain was so intense from the fall and I was so out of it (seeing that it was in the middle of the night and I was groggy) that I couldn't stand up on my own; The Husband carried me up. -_-'


Then, last night, while bringing in the clothes after the laundry dried, I walked right into our step-bin and scraped the top of my right foot well and good. -_-'''

Seconds after disaster.

1 minute later.

After my bath.

HAIHHHH... T_T

Been A Long Time, Mr Dentist

Was having trouble with one of my molars for awhile now but didn't manage to secure an appointment with the only dental office I trust with my teeth for the longest time. (Fully booked on weekends till September! @_@) So... I put it off. For months! Like, 3 months. Maybe 4. Or more. :-/


But last week, I decided, "CAN. NOT. WAIT. LIAO." The hole – yes, there was a HOLE – in my tooth was getting bigger and bigger and it was starting to become a food trap. I couldn't even chew with the right side of my mouth because food would get lodged in the gaping hole and it would hurt badly! T_T


When I found out I'd be coming back to Penang this weekend for a wedding, I decided to call and get myself a walk-in ticket for Friday instead. By some miracle, the nursed said, "Ok, can. Come in by 9:30AM ok? We'll try to fit you in between appointments, ok? But cannot choose dentist ok?" So... OK LAH! ONZ!

Well, that Friday is today,

and my appointment was this morning.

 Torture tools.

I usually LOVE going to the dentist. (True story.)

I know it sounds crazy but The Husband knows this about me.

But what he didn't know was...

this time, I was scared out of my mind.

What's different, you ask?

Well, you see, I'm usually the kind of mental dental patient that goes in and goes, "Ahhh...," without a problem. BUT... if a problem does arise and some drilling work needs to be done, I'll just tell the dentist, "Eh, just cucuk one big needle into my mouth and make sure I don't feel a thing, ok? Thank you." So now you know! That's my secret. Hahaha. No pain, no fear ma, right? Haha.

But this time around, I knew I would need to have some work done on that troublesome molar. So drilling is pretty much a guarantee. But, I also decided before going that I didn't want the numbing jab if I didn't absolutely have to take it. So that means... PAIN IS A BIG POSSIBILITY. Which then means, LOTS OF FEAR.

*gulp*

Which was when I Facebooked this picture:

O-B-V-I-O-U-S-L-Y

some people just chose to think

what they wanted to think. Haha.

But thankfully, the dentist was gentle, quick and kind. Turns out I had two fallen fillings for him to work on – one super minor, and the other I knew of that was pretty major. But in spite of that, it was all over in a jiffy! I was only in his chair for a half hour. And, I only felt sensitivity ONCE without any injections whatsoever. (Considering the MASSIVE HOLE, that's a miracle in itself.)

Bottom line? Penang Dental Surgery FTW!!!

This is why I only trust my teeth with them. =)

Bruise Update

Better than before but it's morphed to look like

I've got red daki stuck in the cracks of my skin. -_-'''

Hopeless Case

Kena accident again while cooking last night. I really dunno what to do with myself already. Maybe I should just start cooking in protective bubble wrap or something. Gotta to do something to at least preserve my life. Cos last round, waist up kena. This round, waist down. -_-'''

 Bruise on my right knee.

Got that fancy bruise when I slammed my right knee into the kitchen cabinet in an effort to avoid a hot, falling frying spatula from landing on my skin. Mana tau, as I was executing my Olympic long jump, my left leg got in the way of my right leg so its big toe nail gave my right heel a deep scratch as payback. -_-'''

Raw scratch on my right heel.

Let's hope this will be the end of my kitchen mishaps. I'm running out of skin to bruise, scratch and scald. But then again, something tells me there will be more to come. It is me after all. T_T

All The Colours Of The Rainbow In My Kitchen

Cooked dinner at home tonight and

somehow ended up with this pretty sight:

 From L-R, Top-Bottom: Button Mushrooms, Garlic,

Carrots, French Beans, Red Chili, Onions, Ginger.

Not all rojak in one dish, of course. =p

I'd show you pictures of what I cooked but I ended up burning my right hand against a wok and then sloshing boiling hot soup from the ladle on my right hand onto my left hand so... that plan kinda tak jadi in the end. Apa picture-taking also forget liao. Eat also bo sim. T_T

My scalded left hand covered in toothpaste The Husband applied for me.

But haih... accidents happen, I suppose. :-/ Nevertheless...

So pretty kan? =)