Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Testimony: The Missing Piece

It's 12.22am as I begin writing this.

It's late and I really should be in bed,
but I felt that this couldn't wait.

I wanted to write out this testimony
before I forget the details.

#chemobrain #thestruggleisreal


I bought a 2000-piece jigsaw puzzle last Saturday. I've been happily working on it for the last 3 days and as I neared the end of the first half of the puzzle today, I began to realise that I could be missing a piece. (I worked on them by colour so I could kind of tell.)

Well, I reached the end of the first thousand after dinner today, and true enough, one piece was missing. ๐Ÿงฉ NooOOooOooOooooo!!! You know how it is with jigsaw puzzles... a single lost piece and that's it. You're screwed. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

The missing piece.

I panicked. Got super upset with myself. I grabbed our brightest torchlight and started hunting high and low. Dug around the sofa, checked under the beds, and looked under the tables – nada. All I found was dust and two stray pieces of the boys' Lego. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

I got so desperate I even went online, googled the manufacturer (Pintoo) and went into the customer support page to ask if I could purchase the missing piece. I even contemplated buying another full box because there was an Amazon "Buy Now" button sitting right there to tempt me. ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š

Shen helped me look for awhile, too, then asked me to pray. So, I said a silent prayer – a desperate plea for God to step in and offer me some help ๐Ÿ˜… – and went about looking again. Frustration overwhelmed me. I was angry, hot, flustered, and so super upset. 

Worst thing was, our daily helper came by today.
I worried that she might have cleared it away. ๐Ÿ˜ฐ

I texted her – hoping she didn't vacuum it up and toss it into the bin. She said that she didn't. That offered me some relief and I believed her cos while she was cleaning, she did ask me where I bought my puzzle and said she liked puzzles, too. So... with an appreciation for jigsaw puzzles, I wouldn't think she would have thrown it away lah. Fingers crossed. ๐Ÿคž

I asked that she help me lift or move the sofa the next time she comes so I can look under it properly. That was my only hope. I'd looked everywhere possible. That was the only place I couldn't reach nor see. So, I had to wait. Sigh. And I resigned myself to the fact that I won't find the missing piece until then. ๐Ÿ˜ž


Before I went to bed, I decided to take one last look around. I checked the desk and the box. And I saw the second half of the puzzle, which I hadn't touched, still in its bag. I thought to myself – "Forget it la. What's the point of finishing the puzzle now when it can't even be completed." ๐Ÿ˜ž

But then a part of me also felt that maybe – just maybe – they packed it wrong? Maybe my missing piece wasn't "missing" after all and that it was in the other bag I hadn't opened?? #hopeful ๐Ÿ˜ #delusional ๐Ÿ˜…

So, I decided to open it up. While I poured out the 1000 pieces, I shook the bag to make sure every last piece came out. It was then that it suddenly dawned upon me that maybe I didn't shake the bag the first round because I was so excited to start working on it!! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

So, I immediately dug through my trash. And guess what? It was. Right. There. Sitting in one corner of the crumpled up plastic baggie it came in. The same one that I had already thrown into the bin and covered up with other bits of trash from other days past.

Now, here's the super duper miracle. The helper forgot to take out the trash in my room today. Just like she did on Saturday when she came, too!! I was just complaining to JJ about it earlier this afternoon – saying that she forgot to take out my trash AGAIN today.

Well, God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?

If she had taken out the trash last Saturday, that puzzle would have been long gone. ๐Ÿ—‘️ (I grumbled about it then.) If she had done it today when she came again, it would also have been gone. ๐Ÿ—‘️ (I also complained about it today.)

I'm also usually quite fussy and I would have tossed out the trash myself in a huff if she had forgotten. I did that the other times she forgot. But I didn't this time. No idea why. ๐Ÿคท‍♀️ I just didn't. Maybe I was too busy dedicating any free time I could spare with fixing the puzzle. Haha. 

So, yes. God answered my simple but desperate prayer tonight. Over one little, tiny piece of jigsaw puzzle. ๐Ÿงฉ Quite insignificant in the big scheme of things but important to me nonetheless. Truly, our God is the God of both, the big things, and the little things in our lives. What's important to you, is important to Him. 

My other lesson learnt tonight is this: no matter how impossible or forlorn of hope the situation, we should never give up. I was already on the verge of packing it all up and shelving the puzzle. But if I had surrendered to my situation and decided that this lost piece made the whole puzzle a lost cause, then I would never have had the epiphany that the missing piece was still in the bag. 

It's also important to note that all in all, it took two mishaps for my miracle to take place at the end of the day. (The helper forgetting to take out the trash – not once, but twice!) If those two "bad things" hadn't happened earlier on, I wouldn't have gotten my miracle anyway.

The problem with us humans is that while we're in the middle of our pain, and in the thick of our troubles, we often complain, grumble and gripe. Simply because we cannot understand the hows and whys, and don't see the ending yet.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Life may not be perfect. But we don't have to grumble, struggle and hate the journey. If we could only choose to rest in Him, and see all our pain as a necessary part of God's good, greater, perfect plan, we wouldn't beat ourselves up over things as much. 

So, if there's a takeaway from this missing puzzle testimony, it's this: whatever your troubles and whatever tough times you're going through, take heart and do not give up!! God is working in ways we do not understand – AMEN! ๐Ÿ™

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

A Full Life & A Free Wax

Catheter out yesterday. Peeing came naturally – thank God. (I've had previous experiences where peeing is hard work after being catheterised. ๐Ÿ˜…) Went to the bathroom a few times but didn't bother looking at myself. Finally looked at my face in the mirror today. Almost fainted.

Thank you medical professionals for saving my life...

...and for waxing 10% of my eyebrow off. ๐Ÿคจ

Bo mor, bo pian la. Teng mia tu ho. ๐Ÿ˜…
(That's Hokkien for "No hair, nothing you can do la. A long life is enough.")

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Hooked Up Right, Left & Center!

Finally got my fuzzy wraps, catheter and drip removed. Big hurrah even though the line on my left hand is to be kept in till I'm discharged. BUT. THAT'S. OK! Cos earlier, I was hooked up to so many things, I could barely move! So this is a very welcomed improvement. On a whole, I’m finally feeling more human and less bionic woman today. 

Me and my three drains to remove excess fluids from my insides.
My plastics doctor calls these my "medallions". ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ… LOL.

On a separate note...
#crazyhairdontcare ๐Ÿ’‍♀️

Earlier, I had both arms and both legs all wrapped up in what looked like quilt stuffing, a drip on my left hand, a catheter between my legs, three drains coming out from my upper body (one from each boob and one from my right pit)... *deep breath* ...and both my legs (knees down to my ankles) wrapped up in the adjustable attachments of a machine called the VenaFlow® system, which helps with my circulation while I'm not moving. ๐Ÿ˜…

La familia.

The doctors expect me to be hospitalised for a week. But just a day post surgery and I'm down to the three drains + the line on my left hand (for antibiotics and emergencies) + the VenaFlow® system at night during bedtime so... I'm liking my odds! Slowly slowly la. We're getting there, Pam. We're getting there! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช

All Wrapped Up Like A Fuzzy Bunny


Looks all warm and cosy but it's actually
quite itchy once the body warms up. ๐Ÿ˜…

Having said that, I'm finally properly awake post-surgery and I just (barely) survived what felt like the worst night of my life. ๐Ÿ˜–  Can't deal with much screen time right now, plus every bit of me is hooked up to some tube or another so... story you guys later la, okay. Bottom line is... surgery's over and I'm alive! Hurrah!

Monday, November 16, 2020

Ready, Steady...

Was woken up at the ungodly hour of 5am today for another pre-surgery anti-microbial shower. *groans* Am soooo tired, it's not even funny. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

Right now, I'm just sitting around waiting for another drawing session, this time by my Breast Surgeon. (Yesterday's drawing was by the Plastic Surgeon.) Am totally torn between dreading the surgery and looking forward to my upcoming "best nap ever" in a little less than 2 hours. LOL.

Ready and waiting!

Sunday, November 15, 2020


Not a fan of spending the night alone in the hospital so...
I got me a roommate for the week!

Me and Mee.

Bedtime Messenger Calls With The Boys

Having some FB Messenger fun with the boys
before they head off to bed. #thankGodfortechnology

Ugly faces galore! Wheeee!!!

Hang Up The Phone?

So there I am, sitting down just chilling out alone in my hospital room, on my hospital bed, when I look at my phone and realise I missed JJ's video call. Tried calling him back but couldn't. That's when this chat ensued.

And this is how you know you're old. ๐Ÿ˜…

Having said that, I'm really glad that both boys are now able to read and write. And that they have their own Messenger Kids accounts to text and call us anytime. Loving this aspect of modern technology. Especially now that I'll be away from home for awhile.

All Settled In

You know you're officially one of the gang
when you've been tagged. LOL.

On another note, tea has arrived! But I'm not having any of it. The barley is cold and there's ham in the sandwich. I usually love ham and cheese sandwiches but since I've started reducing my intake of processed meats, Imma skip this and save my sin quota for BACON! ๐Ÿฅ“๐Ÿ˜ˆ 

Mandi Bunga Cara Moden ๐ŸŒธ

With this. LOL.

 octenisan® wash lotion – hypoallergenic antimicrobial hair
and body wash that I used from my head to my toes. ๐Ÿง–‍♀️

Am dressed in my electric blue hospital gown now (as seen in the reflection) and will just be lounging on the hospital bed ala Miss Rose from Titanic. You know, while waiting for someone to draw me. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚