Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Puff, The Lousy Dragon

People who puff in the presence of non-smokers should be charged with intentional manslaughter / accidental first-degree murder (whichever have you) and sent to the gallows to hang by their uvula.

Hokkien, England-fied

"Si eh lang, forty-peik knor nia."
(English Translation: Four people, forty-eight Ringgit only.)


No, that wasn't me; but yes, it happens.
And when it does, I laugh.

"The Single Most Important Manual For A Guy"

To read the said manual, click here.


Haha. Okay okay, I'm sorry. I can just imagine my reaction if it were me clicking on that just like I told you to. Haha. So thick skin, right? But come on, cut me some slack while I let my inner child have some good old fashioned fun. I really couldn't resist doing it.


Honestly speaking. I'm not being unbelievably prideful or insanely pompous. I just (sorta intentionally) left out the words, "I quote." Left that out but I never bluff, okay! Haha. You see, I was reorganising the many OTJ posts in my blog when I spied a comment dated 17 June 2007 that I totally missed before!

It's some stranger who pretty much left a mini OTJ: Part 10.1 in my comments. So semangat. Haha. And actually hor, to me, it's a great honour when your post gets called The Single Most Important Manual For A Guy by a guy! At least it's a pretty big deal to me lah.

I wonder if he's a regular or just a lost-ie. But honestly speaking, he's not bad though. He writes a pretty mean Operasi Train Jantan cum Betina. Haha. (Yes, I laugh now... but it's just for show. If the dude ever writes an OTB, I'll hunt him down, sue him for copyright infringement and pound him to mush.)


Operasi Train Jantan© & Operasi Train Betina©
are the copyright of Tinki and Tinki Talks.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Operasi Train Jantan: Part 13

Yes, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Heh. Was spell-checking my previous post when I suddenly realised – HECK! THIS IS OTJ MATERIAL, MAN!

So that's why I'm here. With that, I hereby officially cast The Battle Rages into the seemingly tiny yet incomprehensibly wide space that lies somewhere between Males Today and The Perfected Male.


p/s: Me misses the OTJ partner, too!

The Battle Rages

Heads up! It's Blue against the Red.

SCENARIO: Girl gets flowers from Boyfriend. Flowers were delivered to the office for all to see and smell. And I tell you, these flowers smell crazy fantastic! I keep going up to Girl's place (we're on different floors) for quick whiffs. They make lousy days at the office that little bit better for me. *smiles*

QUELLED INITIAL THOUGHTS: Boyfriend's staking his claim on Girl!!! (She's new, by the way.) But, no. I was wrong. Apparently, Boyfriend sends Girl flowers pretty often (so it's not like he's staking his claim on her that way just cos he can't piss all over her to mark his territory from all the other lousy hounds in the office who are on the hunt). Looks like there still are traditional-flower-giving-romantic guys out there. Problem: They're all taken.

THE BATTLE: Red insists that there are underlying problems in the relationship between Boyfriend and Girl that are just waiting to crash through the surface of the seemingly calm and supremely saccharine facade. Blue and I begged to differ. No, my apologies. There was no begging involved. We insisted that that was utter rubbish. But Red was not an easy opponent. Not letting up in the least and obstinate as all hell, he suggested the idea that Boyfriend was, in fact, cheating on Girl. The audacity of it all! Such imprudence! Hmmph! Shame on Red. May he read this post and toss and turn in his grave (after Blue and I are done with him, of course). Die die we fight to the end. (Red dies, of course.)

MY THOUGHTS: I mean, what's wrong with giving your girl flowers? And how is it possible that giving her flowers even becomes something NEGATIVE in the end?! That theory's so far off tangent that it makes me wonder how Red even keeps his head on straight all day. Puh-leeze. If so, every girl who gets any flowers from her guy should start hiding behind bushes, keeping tabs on his emails and start looking through his text messages already lah! This is ridiculous.

And you've gotta be kidding me if you say you know girls and the way they think cos no matter what any girl says, SHE LIKES FLOWERS. Trust me, hang on to every sentence, and take my word for it. She just doesn't know it yet cos SHE HASN'T BEEN GETTING ANY, no thanks to the likes of unromantic, insensitive males like YOU.

In fact, if you don't give your girl flowers, you should start wondering WHY you don't feel like giving her any. Relationship getting dry and boring, some? Got tired of the chase, maybe? Starting to take her and your relationship for granted, perhaps?

If so, it's time to buck up!

Every now and again, shake yourself awake and away from the very-typical-very-bland dinner-movie-homesweethome routine. Grey habits aren't cool when it's the Lurve Thang we're talking about. Start working some excitement into your limp and passionless relationship today! And what simpler way to do that than with a tiny bunch of sweet-smelling blossoms tied up in pretty bows? Common, it can't possibly get any easier than this.


*blink blink*

That just really started sounding like
a very-bad-very-corny-super-hard-sell ad.

Anyhew, I liked what Blue said at the end of his conversation with Red. "I don't have to agree with it. But I do it anyways cos I know it makes her happy." Sigh. Like that lah. Short, simple, oh-so-sweet and every ounce of it dripping with sincerity.

See? That's the spirit.

Blue, you rock harder than Red ever will.
May Pink come along for you someday.


Whoa, I sounded really pissy in this post, didn't I?
Heh. Those Dark Queen roots haven't all but died just yet.

I think I need to get me some flowers.

Lie Next To Me

The only time it's considered even remotely normal to fall asleep just inches away from a total stranger of the opposite sex and share music from his or her earphones... is in a bus. Other times, you'd go to jail for it so don't even bother trying.

Back From The Dead!

Me, I mean.

The comp's still as dead as ever.


Been MIA all weekend thanks to my lack of comp accessibility. Drafts have been piling up in my overused, under-glorified handphone. Half-processed blog ideas have steadily been doing the breast stroke in my grey matter. And my fingers have eagerly been awaiting the moment they get to play tag on those lovely keys on that come with pretty little alphabets like they used to do. That being said, today feels like the first day of kindergarten all over again! Wheee! Uh, except with less cheese dip in my hair and more flair and finesse.


Will be back to post sometime later in the day.
As for now, I've gotta look busy. See ya later!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Some Things Just Don't Happen Everyday

Like there was this one time, I got into a catfight. And there was this one time, I got into a 3-car pileup. Then there was this other one time, I cried till I puked my guts out. There was also this one time when I drank myself silly (FYI, it doesn't take a great deal of alcohol to do that) the night before my SPM Physics paper. Then there was this one time when I drove up to Genting on a whim and spent the night sleeping in my car, in a very-much-deserted parking lot. Oh, not forgetting this one time when I slept for 16 hours straight one Saturday just cos I had the time to.

And then there's today...
when I leave work before the sky turns dark.


What's In A Relationship?

Well, let's start with the basic equation.

Boy + Girl = In A Relationship

Hmmm. I'm not sure it's actually that simple
but I guess it's a pretty good place to start.

A relationship is about finding joy in the presence of the other. About being able to have a little fun with each other. Poke fun at each other. Laugh at each other. And, more importantly, laugh with each other. Couples often get off to a pleasingly ascending giggling start but how many can actually testify to staying that way forever and ever till death do them part? Not many. But hey, if we're going to share the tears, we might as well double the laughter, too, while we're at it, right?

To me, it goes beyond just pretending to be perfect in the presence of the other. Cos we're not. Heck, we know we're not, don't we? And... well, I should give you the heads-up. Psst... they know it, too. But that isn't a problem, is it? Not being perfect, I mean. No, it's not supposed to be - not when it's REAL love. Because when it's real, we can always be assured that they know we're not perfect but they also think that it's okay that we're not, too.

Plus, a relationship is about being comfortable with each other. Comfortable enough to be vulnerable and not feel the slightest bit so. It's about letting loose without ending up losing yourself in the process. It's not easy being vulnerable, though. It takes courage on your part, and all the love in the world on your partner's part. If one party fails to act on their part, everything goes southwards. Heh. Looks like two-to-tango just swung by to nip us in the butt.


You know what, I'm not exactly thinking straight right now, what with my rather sleepless night. Plus, it doesn't help that I've got so many Dr Love-sounding stuff running through my head this very instance that I'm actually having a really hard time picking out anything substantial anymore. Maybe I should go head-on and challenge Dear Thelma with a Dear Tinki section right here. Give myself a chance to pretend that I actually know something about love and its many rollercoaster-styled ups and downs.


Argh, but then again, what do I know.
Forget I even said anything.

I'm gonna get back to work. Till later, ciaos.

The Great Big Tada

Some people are in for a big surprise.
They just don't know it yet.


Thursday, July 26, 2007


It never ends. Period.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I Can't Live...

...if living is without yoooouuuu.


It's been 3 days.

Three. Whole. Days.

I don't think I can take this anymore.



See, it's not that I haven't wanted to post. I just haven't had my Free Time meet Free Comps very often over the past few days. Believe you me, I've had the urges - itchy fingers, twitchy eyes and that ever-growing gnawing urge to spit out words from nothing at all and spill them onto a screen. Yes, those urges... except without the satisfaction that comes with responding to them.


Enforced withdrawal sucks.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Putih Tak Bes

After some online detective work on my part,
I finally found a blog with a very-tame-looking G-Rating.

Eeyer. So plain lah. Not cool also.
I take it back. I take it all back.

If only for aesthetics if not for any other reason,
I think I'd rather keep my lime green PG-Rating.

What's My Blog Rated?

Found this really cool site that rates blogs
and decided to try it out. Just for kicks.

First I waited for the page to load, and then this appeared.

Then I typed in my blog address.

And then I waited again.
(Very slow connection today.)

And then... WHOA.

Online Dating

I think I need to revise my usage of certain words.

*blink blink*



Cheh. You all think you all so geng meh? Ignorance is bliss, my friend. What's YOUR blog rated? Nah. Click here to find out. Go ahead. Let that smug smile be wiped off your face and may your self-righteousness shatter like glass, into a million tiny little pieces.



This. Is. Ridiculous.

I Wish I Were (Like) You

I wish I were like you.
I just don't want to feel,
For when I feel, I hurt,
And when I hurt, I don't heal.

I wish I were like you.
No words to say,
No thoughts to think,
And no feelings to consider.

I wish I were you.
You observe and be observed,
Day in and day out,
That's all you ever do.

I wish I were like you.
For there you sit,
Quiet and still, silent in a frame,
Never wrong or ever out of place.

I wish I were like you.
Embedded in ink,
Plastered on paper,
And sealed in by a single pane of clear glass.

Yes, I wish I were like you.
And sometimes, I wish I were you.

– pamsong, 22 July 2007

Friday, July 20, 2007

Please Use Soap And Water

The thing about drinking lots of water is that you pee lots, too. And when you pee lots, you visit the loo lots. Visiting the loo lots lets you see the comings and goings of the many potty folk and somehow, you tend to notice their various bathroom habits and practices.

And then you realise...


Nobody but yourself washes their hands
after peeing or taking a dump.



Itchy Fingers

It's been too long since my last on-paper graffiti.

I miss those primary and high school art lessons. Potato printing, sketching, colouring, finger painting... so much fun! Should have just thrown caution to the wind and gone into Arts instead of Science.

Story Of My Life

Dirty fingers. Ruffled hair. Dry eyes.
Aching back. Half asleep. Dead tired.

...and still at work.

Only Good For Scratching

I've got three little pet peeves.

1. I can't stand the sight of guys with long nails. It grosses me out somewhat. And honestly, I automatically start to wonder what they use those nails for and where those fingers have been. Ugh. Makes me go 'yuck' each and every time. Oh... and so very Ah Beng lah.

2. I can't stand girls with lousy self-done manicures. Not that it's any better if a guy has a lousy clipping, of course. But... it's permissible and forgivable lah. Meaning, I can close one eye and pretend that it's actually okay when it isn't really.


But unkempt nails are not an option for the ladies. No excuse. What's with fingernails of all lengths and shapes?! Ever heard of uniformity? One's gotta look as similar as possible to the other. If you break a nail, clip 'em ALL off. Do you really think that your fingers look pretty with seven 2-inch nails, two 1-cm nails, and one super short stunted-looking one? Trust me, that sight's a total turn-off.

Plus, using a nail-clipper correctly and effectively isn't exactly rocket science so don't clip your nails like it is. And there's nothing wrong with filing if you didn't know. Jagged claws aren't all that cool. Get a nail file. If you're cheap, know that those things don't cost very much.

3. I can't stand dirty, greasy, gunk-filled nails. Do I really need to go into details for this one? Please...

Short, clean, gunk-free nails are the only way to go.


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Power To The Hokkien

By some miracle birthed in a land beyond the sea (sorta), I feel a strangely intense affinity towards a certain Penang-Hokkien-speaking kopitiam aunty. Phew. The language is powerful, I tell you. Forget Mandarin. Ditch Cantonese. Hokkien unites.

Wa lang si kaki lang!
(English Translation: We are
people of the same kind!)



Okay, fine. I'm not Hokkien by birth. But I sure make up for it by being Hokkien by dialect. Got Penang accent summore wei.

Mai siao siao. Thai lang eh si eh ah.

(English Translation: Dun play play. If use
against anyone, sure slaughter until die wan.)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Big Bird Brained

You know, the more I look at it, the more I feel like bits and pieces of my childhood somehow found their way into that header. It's very Big-Bird-from-Sesame-Street-ish, don't you think?


C is for cookie, that's good enough for me...
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me...
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me...
Oh! Cookie cookie cookieee,
That's good enough for meeee!


So, be a responsible parent. What you show your kids during their growing up years will inevitably affect their adult lives in subtle ways, too. My kids are going to grow up watching Transformers. There's more than meets the eye.

NEW Is 'In'!

I'm betting it doesn't take a genius
to know what I'm talking about.


Ooo... irregular heartbeats, shortness of breath and all that. *gasp* Goosebumps galore! I've got tiny tingles running up and down my spine. Haha. I'm bizarrely over-excited over this little aesthetic change, really. So much so that I feel slightly whacked and freakishly abnormal. But feeling this way's actually pretty normal when faced with change, right? Hmmm.

*blinks thoughts away*

ANYHEW, after almost 5 whole months of...


...and less than 24 hours of
this, this and this, the wait it finally over!

Uh, for you guys, of course. Haha.

Well, this project was quite a fun one for me. Was getting tired of the boring text that came with my Blogspot template. So very Plain Jane lah. See also sien. You know, perhaps I should try to set aside some time to revamp my page (or at least the Tinki Talks header) every once in awhile.

*blink blink*

Ugh, I'm obviously under-utilizing the vast expanse of blogsphere wealth that's at my expense on the Internet. Maybe I should just do it the lazy man's way and head over to BlogSkins.com to snitch one from their library.

Yeah, shame on you skin-robbers.

Stop pointing your filthy mouse-clicking fingers at me cos I probably won't be doing that anytime soon if not ever. You see, I'm pretty anal about things so I'd probably nitpick every single almost-perfect-but-not-quite skin I set my eyes on. Eventually, the whole skin-hunt would end up becoming a total waste of time and effort, so I might as well just forget about pursuing that path in my attempt to own a less snore-generating, boring-looking blog.

Whatever the case, I may work on more headers in days to come. Uh, sorry. Months to come, more likely. My timetable is such that time is pathetically scarce for me. Oh well, at least I got my first one up and loading. Bravo, me.


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Out, Please

Something's gotta go.

Space is needed for something else in here.

Stay tuned for more updates.

My Boss Rocks

It rocks so hard if your boss is anything like mine.


The Boss said: -

"Oh, I won't be here. But no worries,
why don't you see him tomorrow?"

*points at partner*

"He's MUCH nicer than I am, anyway."

*smiles and gives a thumbs up*


It takes a man who's bursting with confidence
and healthy self-esteem to say that.

Time To Change

Staying stagnant and boring is not an option.

Change is good. Yes, good change is good.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Coming Soon

Yes, something is.

I'm not saying what it is or when it's coming, but it's coming.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Monday, July 16, 2007


It's painful how perfectly great days end up going
all the way downhill in just mere seconds.

Very painful.

Today's Monday

But it's not just any ordinary Monday.

No, no.

Today marks the 3rd month anniversary
of my working life! Woo hoo hoo!

I can't believe it's been three whole months already. THREE months! Wow. Some days, it feels like I've actually borne, survived and lived to tell the tale of all 91 days of those three months. But on other days, it seems like it's barely been three weeks since I first started working. Haha. Funny how time becomes relative when situations, perceptions and conditions change.

Kinda makes me wonder how today will turn out.

*ponders then pauses*

Okay. I'm late. It's off to work for me.
Have a good day, everybody!


Yeah. I'm heartbroken.


I should have been more careful. I should have held on to it tightly, close to my heart, and not just left it lying around. It was a mistake waiting to happen. Worse is the fact that I know that I broke my own heart myself. All on my own. How could I have been so careless?

*shakes head slowly and blinks away tears*

I still can't believe it happened.
I still can't believe that I dropped my phone.


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Taste Narcissism

Was feeling a little self absorbed so
the Tinki Talks Blogger Profile got a makeover.


Locality is not a factor.

It shouldn't be, right? Not when you wanna make someone's day. So are you thinking ecards, airmail, call-and-orders or even deliveries? Well, you thought wrong this time.

*points pointer finger directly at YOU and laughs aloud*


*blink blink*

So lame.

Actually, I'm feeling a li'l silly right now for having smiled to myself all morning... alone. But then again, what's wrong with smiling myself silly? I have all reason to smile after the night I just had.

To feel and be loved and appreciated has got to be
the two greatest gifts that one person can give another.


What's Love And What's GREAT Love?

I've been meaning to write about this for awhile now. But as always, I shamelessly procrastinate. A couple of lines I jotted down during a moment of emo-inspiration have been lying dormant and I think it's about time they see the light of day.

"I've learned over time that one cannot love another and protect oneself at the same time. Love doesn't work that way. You've gotta give it your all – your everything – FIRST... and then wait to see what happens thereafter."

I thought I was already being smart when I came up with that.
Yeah, I thought that, alright. Until I got hit with this today.

Pay attention. Cos it sure made me go 'wow'.

If you've chosen to love someone who readily loves you in return, good for you. Really. But that's it. That's where the story ends. It's good for you... but there's nothing great to it. It's easy to love someone who loves you back. Don't you think? Easier, at least.

But if you choose to love someone regardless of the outcome, well, that's GREAT Love. Why? Because it is when the outcome is unknown, that you are consciously taking a risk to love. When you say 'I love you' without knowing if you'll ever get a reply, you put yourself up on the table to get hurt. You open yourself up to the possibility of getting rejected. You leave yourself vulnerable to the person you say those three words to. Sounds scary as all hell, doesn't it?

But is that a bad thing?

Well, if your purpose is to protect yourself, first... and love, second, then... Yeah. It's a bad thing. But if to love is your greatest desire and intention, then what's so bad about giving that love even if it isn't returned in the way you hope it would be? Technically, you should already be happy for being able to give love even if you don't find yourself receiving any in return.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not saying that it's okay to be silly enough to continue to love a person who doesn't give two-hoots about you. It's not. It's only natural – human, even – to want to find someone who can reciprocate the love you offer with (at least) the same level of love or (better yet) more. But that doesn't happen as often as we'd like, does it?

Nope, I don't think it does.

If it did, we wouldn't have as many
Dear Thelma columns as we do today.

So, I guess the greatest thing about Great Love is that you never offer it with an expectant heart. All you want to do is give, and give, and give some more. That's where the joy of loving comes in for Great Love givers. Anything they do get anything in return, they consider bonuses. That makes sense, right? Because when you don't expect, you never get disappointed when you fail to receive. But should there ever come a time when you DO find yourself on the receiving end, it's zippedy-doo-dah-hello-sweet-bonuses all the way for you.

But offering Great Love isn't as easy as it sounds. It's wonderful in theory, of course. Most things are. They sound good. Probably because they're more often than not, seemingly self-righteous babble. Honestly, who can say that they'd offer everything they've got within them with hopes of NOTHING in return? Not many, I can tell you that.

It's when talk successfully becomes action,
that I'll stand and offer my salute in total respect.

I just pray that those with the courage to give Great Love do eventually get rewarded with everything their heart so desires. That they'll receive love in return someday. The kind of love that flies them to the moon and back again. Love that pushes the stars out from behind the clouds. The kind that prolongs the sunrises and sunsets that grace their days. And love that makes the flowers bloom in the Winter. After all, who deserves it more than they do?


Put it this way... Love just isn't always easy.

But I've discovered this: When love does come along and you find yourself willing to give it your all, it, in turn, becomes worth it all.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock


So frustrating!

I can't seem to think or focus on what I need to do.

No, no, no. This can't be happening. It can't be. Not now, not tonight, and definitely not when I've an early-morning deadline to meet. Nooooo! Spare me the agony, okay. Please? Just this once. Stop stressing me out and just friggin' work, damn it! WORK!

Ugh. Stupid brain.

Perfectly lousy timing as always.

You come up with oxymorons when
I clearly don't need them... and nothing else.


Si Liao, Si Liao

I have so much to finish in so little time.
This time, si liao. Sure si liao.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Barulah Sedap!

Bila makan nasi daun pisang, sila gunakan tangan.

Mm mmm.

Dapat jilat jari barulah sedap, barulah puas!

It was actually quite expensive. The bill came up to RM20 per person. Crazy, right?! For bloody indian rice on stupid green leaves. Dunno if the leaves are clean or not also. Ish ish. Daylight robbery, this one.

But I'm a very reasonable person.

I know that even as other people conn my ass off,
it's only because they need to earn a living.

So comfort my wallet, I did.

It's okay, Pierre. Think of it this way... I can lick under my nails the morning after and it'd be like having Round 2 back in the comfort of my own home. It's like a two-course meal for the price of one. That's a steal! Feel better, alright?


Yes, already.

I've had a long week and the work week just officially spilled over into my weekend. I've got so much to do and so little time to do it all! Sigh. And darn it, this also clearly means that it's time I kiss my weekend late mornings, lazy afternoons and early nights goodbye.


Okay, fine. I take that back.
Early nights never happen with me.

Happy now?


Am. So. Badly. Tired. Out.


I Do What I Do To Myself

I amaze myself sometimes. I really do.

See? Amazing.

How I manage to do the things I do to myself and not even REALISE that I've done the things I've done, I'll never know. Almost got a heart attack when I saw my arm. Didn't realise I Picasso-ed myself during a brainstorm session. Didn't even feel a thing.

The whole idea of this happening leaves me wide-eyed and open-mouthed, really. I'd be applauding myself silly by now if I weren't too busy scrubbing pen lines off my very delicate skin.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Kuasa Bunga Raya

My indoor slippers died sometime last month (or was it the month before that?) and someway or another, I arranged for my hometown indoor slippers to be carted down to KL. Just to be used for the time being till I find another pair to take the dead one's place.

Well, not more stand-ins for me!
I got me new indoor slippers.


So striking-memiking, I know.


They're actually similar to a pair of outdoor slippers I have. Except for a difference in purchase price. This was on 20% discount. Grrr. But trust me, you can never have too much of a good thing. Not even if they're 100%-identical good things. Haha.

So, yeah. They're alike. Just that the older, outdoor one is a whole lot dirtier than this pair only. That's all. If not, same same already. But they're nice, aren't they? Don't you think they just look so cheery? I like! They're really comfortable to wear (soft, bouncy rubber) anyway, so wearing these at home should be Just Right.

I bought another pair while I was at it, too. A darker, more practical one for outdoor wear. One that's slightly more toned down and grounded. It's so that people know that they should take me seriously. They haven't been doing that enough of late. These slippers serve as a subtle reminder.

Pfft. Yeah, right.

I see, I like, I buy.
It's as simple as that.
No rationale needed.

Brown flippety flops with bunga raya on the top!

So patriotic, duncha think?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Does It Really Take The Bad To Bring Out The Best In The Good?

Picked up a magazine before bedtime.
Little did I know, I was in for surprise.
A surprise I wouldn't like.

I read an article that got me thinking about this...

Why does it often take something bad in order
for people to appreciate something good?

Take this for example: Why do sweet things taste that much sweeter after we've had a taste of something sour beforehand? Why can't we just enjoy the sweet and delight in it as it is? Is sour really necessary for maximum enjoyment of the sweet? Isn't the sweet already pleasurable enough without having to have it benchmarked against something so negatively far off-tangent?

I think it is.

Then doesn't that make it really unfair for that good thing if it's taken for granted till something worse comes along to provide a means of comparison? Why does it have to come down to a comparison between two? Why not just appreciate the one in hand rather than differentiate and then only emulate? Is all that even remotely essential? Is any of that drama really necessary?

I just don't get it.

It looks like Brad Pitt's relationship with Angelina Jolie is headed for the dumps. In fact, Brad has already begun consulting his family lawyer with regards to custody of baby Shiloh (his daughter with Angie). No biggie. I didn't like the fact that the two got together anyways. Good riddance, I say. That family's totally whacked up. Mom and Dad aren't even married anyways.

But that wasn't what bothered me. What got me thinking was the fact that the person he's chosen to turn to for comfort and a listening ear is his ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston. The man is finding solace in the arms of the woman he so cruelly threw aside. The very same woman he dumped mercilessly as he hopped, skipped and jumped onto the Brangelina love boat and sailed away.

Why her? Why now?

Has she changed? Or has he?

Has his perception of her changed? I don't think so. Not much anyways. I quote: "Brad told Jen that he missed being with a woman who was his best friend and that he liked how simple things were when they were together," said an insider. Hmmm. Doesn't that say that the only thing that has changed is his appreciation of her; NOT his perception of her?

If so, why does appreciation only come after two years of separation? What's changed over the past two years? Has Jen miraculously changed for the better in just two years? Or has Brad changed instead? Or has neither changed, save for Brad's "sudden" realisation of Jen's plus-points only AFTER sharing two years of his life with Angie and having a baby together?

How is this even fair?! Tell me!


It's not... and it never will be.


I'm tired and I'm upset.
I'm going to bed. Nights.


Article read was a cover story and it can be found
on Page 4 - 6 of Australian magazine, Woman's Day
(Mother's Day Special), which was dated 14 May 2007.

Wedding Skies

As you guys know, I was back in Penang for a wedding last weekend. (Which reminds me, I have yet to publish a post-wedding post.) Took the bus and arrived at a superbly ungodly hour.

Well, that gave me the rare opportunity to catch the sunrise (I'm usually still buried deeply under the covers with my head stuffed under a pillow) early in the morning. Unfortunately, there were no rays of light to be caught.

Cloudy skies. Ugh. So potong steam.
Especially for a wedding day.

I think the morning of the wedding is such an important part of the whole ten-ten-ten-ten deal. I don't wanna wake up and go, "Shit. It's gonna rain." No way! That is just NOT cool. I won't have it.

I pray that when this day comes for me... (I will get married. I swear I will. Even if it's the last thing I do.) ...I'll wake up, dramatically fling open the windows, see clear blue skies and say, "Yay! I'm getting married today!" with a smile splashed right across my sleepy just-got-out-of-bed face. THAT's the way I want it.

So God, I booking first, ya?

Blue skies, blue skies all the way,
let it rain some other day!

Thank you!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Pretty Potbelly

I found myself standing around people-watching at the bus station yesterday while I waited for my ride to arrive. Yes, people-watching – my post-ride entertainment. Not always very easy on the eyes but definitely a pretty interesting pastime.

You see, people-watching allows for personal growth on a very different level. When you people-watch, you put yourself in a position to learn a lot from those around you, learn about the people around you... and about yourself.


I learned a little about myself yesterday.
My eyes get drawn to potbellied, old men.
Haha. Yuck. I know.

But it's true! For the first time, I found myself attracted to an old, grouchy, Indian man with a HUGE potbelly. I wondered why, for a minute there. I really did. What X-factor did that, of all images, have on me!? See lah!

Goodness. The tummy so big right?

And then, like a flash of lightning zip-zap-ing its way to the ground, it hit me. I knew what it was. It all became crystal clear to me. I finally saw the light.

Heck, yesterday I realised that I even get happy baby vibes when it's not-so-pleasant images I see! I automatically take a step back from reality and my mind helps me visualise the scene in a more cotton candy-ish-ly goo-goo-ga-ga manner. One with images of toddlers running around a perfectly manicured lawn and to-die-for babies lying fast asleep in my arms.

Sigh. Help. It's back.

I want my own kid.

Monday, July 09, 2007

I Love You

It's interesting how these three words only mean anything if the person saying them to you means anything to you at all.

Isn't It Ironic?

Sometimes ironies in life make me laugh. Sometimes, they make me seethe inside. Sometimes they give me reason to curse the odds against me. Other times they just make me cry.

Well, this weekend, no thanks to Life who pulled a couple of quick ones on me, I got thrown into a series of ironic situations. First there was the whole wedding deal. I've been waiting for over a year to witness a wedding in my church (I've never had the chance) and of all times, family gets married in a totally different location on the very same day, at the same time.

And the other thing was...
...well, it was like this.

You see, I love it when it rains. And of late, it's been pretty dry in KL. No rain for months. Not even a drizzle. Till last weekend. Joy of joys, the rain clouds rolled in and it finally poured for three whole days. Whoopie! Bye-bye hazy skies, and bye-bye dusty mornings! It's time to move aside and make way for sunshine and blue skies.

Me being me, I danced and sang in the rain to my heart's content, letting the cool water wash over me and drench me to the bone. I shiver slightly but smile and giggle to myself, knowing full well that when rain comes, I'd be able to say 'hello' to beautiful sunshine and clear blue skies each time the morning makes its way around.

But then, just as seasons change with the passing of time, the rain clouds rolled back and headed for other lands, leaving me to endure the blistering heat in KL once again. Hot, hazy days returned. Why did it have to stop raining? Sigh. Just when I was getting used to the feeling of raindrops on my skin. Just when I was starting to like the way those raindrops look up close as they sit on my lashes. Just when I was starting to feel an incomprehensible affinity towards my umbrella. Sigh.

And then I heard the news. It was raining in Penang! I jumped for joy cos that was my destination after all. Such wonderful coincidence! So to Penang, I was headed. As soon as I hit the island, I rolled down the windows and took in a deep breath. Rain was coming. I knew it. I smelt it. And come, it did.

And then it stopped.

I wondered why. That was, till I read the morning paper. The wind carried my beloved rain clouds all the way down to KL! Noooo! Such rotten timing! Sniffle sniffle sigh. Irony isn't so great after all. In fact, based in the weekend I just had, it sucks.

And to show you how ironic life can get for me, it started raining in Penang just as the bus I was on hit the Penang bridge – a bus that was steadily headed South, towards KL, and away from Penang. It doesn't get any more ironic than this. No siree. =(


I hope the 'Rain Gods' feel bad about everything and make it up to me. I hope it rains soon where I'll be. Let thunder crash and lightning flash. It don't matter to me. As long as rain is pouring, I'll be happy as a bumblebee in Springtime. Rain, rain... come again.

Sunday, July 08, 2007


NOTE: This post has been backdated.


This ride feels like it's going a lot faster than the one I took just a day before. It really doesn't feel like I've been on the bus for 2 hours when, in fact, I have. Maybe the driver's speeding his way down to KL. But then again, it doesn't feel like the bus is speeding along. Hmmm. Maybe that's cos it's a new bus. Better engine efficiency, better performance and all that.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me.
Maybe it's actually all in my head.

Maybe I'm thinking so much and having so many maybe's on my mind because all I wanna do is stay back in Penang. And darn it, there's no maybe in that cos that's definitely what I'm NOT doing. So with that, every second just means that I'm that much further away from where I am to where I want to be. Sigh.

Maybe I should just go back to sleep. Maybe time will pass even more quickly then and the weekend will come around once again. Maybe with less waking hours, I'd be lounging next weekend away even sooner than I'd expect. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll sleep. Just maybe.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

You're My Inspiration

Dear Paris,

Hi, how are you? I hope you're keeping well and gaining back the weight you lost in prison. You look better with the 10 pounds you shed than without. You know, I heard that skinny isn't 'in' no more.

I don't mean to be rude. You look perfect to me as it is – skeletal, pigeon-toed and all – but curves are back so you might just wanna pile on the pounds a little. Am just keeping you updated with the latest in fashion in case you haven't managed to catch up since you collected your Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card, okay?

Oh, what am I saying?! Of course, you'd know better than I would about what's in and what's not. You're the IT girl of Hollywood. The one every woman aspires to be like and the one every man longs to screw date. Yep, you're all that and more. Who am I to tell you anything about anything at all? I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.

Haha. Oh, look at that! Yay!
I'm already so much like you!

Did you know I have a pet dog, just like you do? And it's a girlie pooch, too! She looks almost like Tinkerbell, actually. Almost 100% alike if not for the difference in name, age, breed, colour and size. What are the odds of that happening!? Coincidence? I think not. See, we're more alike than you'd think! Pretty cool stuff, huh?

Hey, maybe there's even a chance that we were born identical twins who got separated at birth. Just like in the movies, you know? That's a possibility right there for ya! Sure, you're slightly taller than I am. And sure, you're three years older than I am. But, who knows what's real anymore? Maybe they just made a mistake with the birth certificates or something. You never know. The system's all screwed up nowadays.

Oh, wait wait! I've got a better theory! Maybe they just got the whole twin thing wrong. Maybe twins DO get delivered up to three years apart. Even the greatest scientists are allowed to make mistakes, right? But then again, I'm just guessin'. I don't know for sure. I'm not too bright.

Oh look! Another trait we share!

Haha. This is so exciting. Now all I need is an anorexic best friend, who's a famous has-been singer's daughter, who'd betray my friendship by slapping my shame in my face in public... and we'd be like two peas in a pod. Don't you worry. I'll keep looking, alright?

And don't you bog yourself down with thoughts about our ethnicities and all that, okay? That's political psychobabble to me. I get that you're not Chinese. But maybe that's cos my body was so advanced that I evolved over time to suit my Asian environment! See, aren't you glad that we share the same genes now?

Well, Paris, before I sign off, I just want you to know that you make me believe in achieving the impossible. You help me see that no situation is ever too dark or difficult to handle. It is through you that I find my strength to make it though the day. I thank you with all sincerity for it is in the light of your footsteps, that I see the pathway to my future. You help me know for a fact that if I put my mind to anything... I can do anything.

You. Inspire. Me.

If you can draw, I can draw.

I can do anything,

Wet And Warm To The Touch

Was at Madam Kwan's for dinner yesterday when I suddenly felt like I had some weird type of killer booger in my nose that just mysteriously started GROWING. And it was growing FAST.

I kid you not. It really was.
Or at least it felt that way.

I hurriedly grabbed a serviette and stuffed one end up my nose and my finger comfortably rested on pleasantly warm liquid. "Hmmm," I thought to myself. "I think I kinda like the way this booger feels. I wonder what it looks like. I should definitely check it out under good lighting." So, I pulled my digit outta my nostril... and gulped.

Blood. Shit.

I know the RC tells us that we should lean our heads forward and stuff it between our knees (or something like that) instead of leaning it backwards but I'd look ridiculous doing that in a restaurant so I did what I shouldn't instead. (Vanity, Vanity. You'll kill me someday.) But that didn't exactly feel right either. Ooo, the distinct taste of blood back-flowing up my nose and down my throat. Yuck.

So I did what I thought was best. I asked Water Girl for ice. She asked, "You want more water, miss?" and filled my glass up without bothering to wait for my reply.

Hmmm. Like she no get me liddat.

Ask again better or else wait long long sure still nothing come. And nose got blood come out so cannot wait. So this time play tactic. Open tissue that got blood wan and put on table so Water Girl can see. Uh oh, she see she sket. She sket, she run go take ice.

YES! Mission accomplished.


While waiting for the ice to arrive, I caught sight of the service staff whispering among themselves. Looked like some kind of hush-hush emergency meeting being conducted. It was pretty funny. The girl with one finger and red-spotted tissue stuffed up her nose thought it was pretty funny, too. But on a whole, the service staff were really nice about everything. They brought me extra serviettes without me having to ask for them and the ice came pretty quickly.

You know, to think about it, I was very pleased with the service, actually. Very, very pleased. I'll definitely pay them another visit. Maybe a less bloody / messy one on a better day. Love their nasi lemak and strawberry flavoured water (their other drinks are ridiculously priced).

So, Madam Kwan's, Bangsar, you get both thumbs up for your superb service! Keep up the good work. I'll be back.


And since they say pictures speak a thousand words,
I shall let them do the rest of the talking.

Yes, it's blood. Call me gross or whatever else
you wanna call me. I don't care. It's MY blog.

My makeshift icepack. Made it myself.
Quite professionally done, don't ya think?

The leftovers after I successfully froze my nose over.


I know, I know. I captioned the pics so it kinda negates
the whole pictures-speak-a-thousand-words talk.
I can't help it. I'm into words. Dig 'em. Like, totally.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Let There Be Light

NOTE: This post has been backdated.
It was written last night... on board a bus.


Alright. Here we go again.

I'm back on the bus and headed for home. No scary Korean movies this time (Thank God for small mercies), but this particular Nice bus is a lousy one (comparatively). I thought they were doing better. Park May Berhad (the bus company), I mean. You know, with their promise of bus and service upgrades.

Pfft. Liars.

Looks like it's not ALL of their buses and definitely not all the time. Heck, I didn't even get a pretty 'stewardess' to serve me drinks. Got me a grumpy fart instead, who seemed to have forgotten how to smile. Of all the rotten luck.

Anyhew, my rant this time?
Lousy in-bus lighting.

Like hello, some of us read. Education breeds a whole new generation of literate individuals, if you didn't know. Maybe the Nice management could do with some of us on staff. Ugh. They turned off the lights a half hour into the journey. And darn it, I happened to land myself a seat with blown out above-the-head lights. I huffed in frustration. (I was in the middle of a really good article.) But then I noticed that the right half of the bus was still lighted. So unfair! Why not the left!?

I'd have kicked up a fuss and pulled a 'Donna' but a lad saved Nice's sorry arse. Thank goodness for kind strangers who offer to give up their 'lighted' seats in exchange for 'un-lighted' ones. You see, I borrowed a super gossip-filled magazine for the journey and I wasn't about to let good gossip go to waste. Hence, I took up the offer.


I sound like such a bimbo, don't I?

*giggles again*

Eh, I took up the offer rather apologetically, okayyy.
I know how to paiseh wan. Don't look me no up.


So there I was with my goss mag. Catching up on the latest happenings in Hollywood (no news about Paris, though) and learning about the latest in plastic surgery and botox, when suddenly, ALL the remaining lights in the bus went off. Aaargh! Frus!

Thank goodness I had my beloved MacBook with me.
It's the reason you've got something to read right now.

p/s: I'm not a bimbo. Really. I don't qualify. You see, I'm not only into gossip. No, I'm versatile. (Pfft.) I'm into the more intellectual stuff as well. I brought this month's Reader's Digest along for the ride too. Just thought you should know. =)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Have A Nice Day

No, I'm not posting Bon Jovi's latest single. It's not that great. I mean, it's not bad. But it's not fantastic either. And you know how it is with the entertainment industry. If you're not 'All That'... you're nothing.

Anyhew, that wasn't why I was posting.

This has got to be the best part of my job.

The free drinks.

Yes, I'll have a nice day, thank you very much!

I Have Two Feet That Dance At Weddings

I've got two weddings to attend over the weekend.

Sounds like fun, right? Wrong. Why? Cos it ain't fun anymore when you have to choose which wedding to attend. Sigh. This feels like kindergarten all over again. I'm back in the middle of the field deciding who I want as my three-legged-race partner. Either way, I can only tie my foot to ONE other foot. I have two feet. Why can't I have two partners? "Nooooo," they say as they ridiculously stretch that blasted vowel. I have to make a choice. But damn it, I hate to choose! Because when you choose...

You're bound to offend the person you don't choose.

Sure, it's a friendship 'Sin of Omission', but a SIN to the offend-ee all the same. And let's be as real as real can be here. When it comes to emotional betrayal (wah, so drama), you're more likely to offend the person whose wedding you decided to forgo... than to make the day of the person you chose to share their special day with. Right?! Right!? Don't you think? It's a lose-lose situation, damn it!

I say it again. I hate to have to choose.
Because to somebody, I'll turn out to be the bad guy.
I'll end up being branded The Lousy Friend.


You know, they should really make it illegal for couples
to get married on the same day as any other couple.

I love weddings. But having to choose which one to attend totally ruins the pre-wedding buzz for me. I don't get to waste precious time or squeeze every ounce of brain juice on which shoe to match my hair or which earrings to match my eyes. Instead, I'm cracking my head in an effort to make a decision that will cause the least damage on the friendship scale.

Lists are supposed to help me organise my life.
...or so they say. So here goes.

My Dilemma:

Going through the list you've prepared
is what makes the list useful. Making one isn't.

Hmmm. Both are weddings. That means that the day means as much to one couple as the other. So it really brings me back to square one. Okay. This list is off to a bad start.

One's in KL and the other's in Penang.
It doesn't help that both locations are almost 400km apart.

Why are BOTH weddings in the morning and what's up with the wedding luncheon thingy? Aren't wedding dinners 'in' anymore!? I can't possibly be that outdated when it comes to the wedding scene, can I?!

*blink blink*

I need to attend more weddings. People, what the heck are you waiting for?! It's time to start dating and getting married, okayyy. You're not gettin' any younger. Guys, THE HUNT IS ON. It's the dawn of a new Hunting Season! I declare it. And if you've already got your fawn in the bag, it's time to take a good bite. Propose, damn it! I'll be expecting your invitations. The countdown begins.

Sigh. So difficult. One's a friend; one's an extended family member. Ooo, tough one. Family comes first, right? It's my bloody obligation (pun intended... *grin* ...I just couldn't resist). So I've gotta be there. But aren't friends the family you choose for yourself? So then how? Family of choice, or family by birth now? Sigh.

Well, I made my choice. But I feel like crap.

Sigh. Why can't I just be at two places at once?

Omnipresence would be a damn cool gift to have right now.


After my previous rant, I decided that I had to get some flowers. Just to feel the oneness with the Earth again. The negative vibes that hovered and lingered around me after that episode were cramping my style.

So I headed towards the florist and got me a couple of roses. I had to, really. Just to make myself feel better. And flowers... well, they always work. (See, girls are soooo easy to please.)

I am now at peace with the world again.
Earth, you and me, we are one. Woo-sah.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Shame On You

I'm Malaysian. And I'm proud of it. At least I used to be. But today, it shames me to be one. Why the sudden change of heart? Well, today, I saw what other Malaysians are capable of. And to be honest, I want nothing to do with them. Not even share my nationality.

Today, I stood witness to a spectacle
that left me speechless.

I saw service staff at KLCC's food court
DISSING a bunch of tourists.

What the hell!?

What happened to the whole deal about KLCC being Malaysia's pride and joy?! What happened to it being Malaysia's premier shopping centre?! What happened to all that Cuti-Cuti Malaysia's Come-And-Visit-KLCC talk!? If wanna talk, then WALK THE TALK lah! And for goodness sakes, start with your service staff cos that's everybody's point of contact!

I am appalled at the way service staff at KLCC treats its customers. Even the guys who serve my friends and I at our local mamak stall treat us with more respect than these guys did. And come on lah, these are guests. If being nice or polite doesn't come naturally, then pretend-pretend a bit lah, darn it, and stop ruining our reputations.

This was the stall.

It's the Hot Plate and Claypot one.

Ph-thooi! What a waste of my RM7.90.
I'm never going back there again. Boycott kau kau.

It shames me greatly to consider the fact that I live among such uncivilised morons. Train the monkeys well before you position them at Malaysia's premier shopping centre and tourist attraction, please. These baboons fail to meet the standard by far. Shame on you.

Happy Birthday To Yooooouuu!!!

Got me free cake today. It was really good. Secret recipe wan. (I know cos I caught sight of the box. Haha. Mesti tau-tau lah.) Dunno flavour, though. But nevertheless, it was definitely yums-worthy!

I love it when people get old.


I reap the benefits.


On a different note, some other people just get plain weird once they hit 28. And when that (and by that I mean OLD AGE) happens, conversations like these take place.

Friend: Eh, that wan ice cream cake leh.

pamsong: No lah. No ice-cream also.

Friend: Yes! It's ice cream!

pamsong: *tastes creamy off-white stuff* No lah. It's not.

Friend: The brown wan is ice cream!

pamsong: *tastes creamy brown stuff* Haih, no lah you! It's just cream lah!

Friend: Put in freezer ma become ice cream already lo.


I. Am. Speechless.


I learned two things today: -

1. I have the most brilliant colleagues.
2. Not everybody gets smarter with age.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


I just reassessed my blog hours.
I think I officially overdid it yesterday.


2 July, 11:54am – [ It's Bath Time! ]

...1 hour and 39 minutes later...
(Whoa whoa whoa. That's pretty quick!)

2 July, 1:33pm – [ Bling Bling ]

...2 hours and 8 minutes later...
(Inspiration strikes so here we go again.)

2 July, 3:41pm – [ Makan-Makan ]

...2 hours and 59 minutes later...
(Heck, I'm on a roll!)

2 July, 6:40pm – [ Spot The Difference ]

...3 hours and 38 minutes later...
(Pretty insane, huh?)

2 July, 10:18pm – [ Makan-Makan Lagi ]

...36 minutes later...
(Okay, this is starting to get a little out of hand.)

2 July, 10:54pm – [ Pretty Blue Daisies ]

...1 hour and 26 minutes later...
(Not bad lah this break. At least
it wasn't just a few minutes like before.)

3 July, 12:20am – [ So Much Ayam ]

...6 minutes later...
(I'm nuts. I know.)

3 July, 12:26am – [ Pretty Okay ]

...8 hours and 51 minutes later...
(I had a good night's rest before posting again.)

3 July, 9:17am – [ It Always Flies ]


9 posts in 22 hours and 23 minutes.


I scare myself sometimes.

It Always Flies

It does.

I can't understand why it does but it just does. And really, there's nothing you can do to stop it. In fact, the more you try to delay it, the faster it races past you. Speeding along its merry way without the slightest inkling or knowledge of your vain struggle to slow it down. And believe you me, the struggle is in vain. Breaks don't do nothing to it, and it doesn't believe in emergency stops.

Green lights only. And even then, the green lights come in a flood, shining with the knowledge that they'll never be replaced by the amber flare. Yes, it knows... so you'll never win. You'll never be able to outwit it no matter how hard you try. It just carries on doing what it's been doing, while you carry on gaping after it's zoomed its speedy arse by. Practice that gape and try looking cool while you stare with your mouth wide open. Cos that's about all you can do.

Yeah, it always flies.


Why do the good times always go by so quickly?

Pretty Okay

Pay close attention to the punctuation.


What I actually said:
I think I look pretty okay in my IC.

What you so lamely thought I said:
I think I look pretty, ok, in my IC.


Every comma, period and parentheses counts. They clarify meaning (which was something you so obviously didn't get, based on your reaction). Like duh, right? That's what they're there for.

And eh, that second one was narcissistic to the max lah. Come on, man! Please lah. Nothing like shy, humble, selfless, li'l ol' me.

*sweet sweet smile*

AND LIKE HELLO!? If I wanted to say what you thought I said though I didn't say it, I'd have said, "I think I look pretty in my IC, ok." Hmmph! Didn't they teach you anything in grammar school? Sheesh.

*shakes head*

*delivers jelingan maut*

*flicks hair*

*stomps off*

So Much Ayam

So, this was dinner.

(Sorry lah, not clear. Too hungry until hand shaking di
summore sacrifice and take picture for you all, okay.)


My recommendation for today, should you ever decide to pay your local mamak stall a visit, is ayam masak kunyit. It's soooo good. And it's healthy, too! Plus, it's got all the necessary ingredients that make up a proper meal with vege, protein and stuff. Lookie lookie!

Oddly though, it comes in pathetically puny amounts. They always do that. Malay food stalls, I mean. I don't know why. But then again, it's the just-nice-makan-cukup-kenyang kinda amount lah so I'm not really complaining.

So little, right? Tsk tsk.
One hand also can cover, man.
Even so, I left this behind.

(Don't find fault. I know. Not clear again. But it's only because
I was so full that I couldn't concentrate on focusing anymore.)

Yes, onions (fresh and fried) and carrots
are damned from my plate. Heh.


I know, I know, today's posts have been so greatly overruled by food. So much so that it's nauseating. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm only being true to my roots. Besides, who cares if you don't like reading about food anyways!? Freedom of speech's da bomb, yo! Rock on!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Pretty Blue Daisies

I swear my bed has never looked this pretty.



Makan-Makan Lagi

As promised earlier, this post is dedicated to today
and every other day's tea break highlight –
the one and only KL city's BEST NASI LEMAK!



1. Directions to the mamak stall. You'll want to pay attention. Trust me. It's REAAAALLY good. So... Get onto Jalan Sultan Ismail. Pass Hard Rock Cafe, KL on your left. Turn left upon reaching a set of traffic lights. Turn left again immediately after into a small lorong (the one that always floods). The mamak stall that sells this heavenly nasi lemak is on your left about a 30m down the lorong. Make sure the packet looks like THIS.

*points below*

2. Open the packet and get a good whiff. Smell perfection, my friends. That's right, it's pure perfection you have before you.

3. Pick up a gorgeous ikan bilis and admire its beauty. Ahh, such crunchiness. You rarely find those in nasi lemak bungkus. Very rarely. Very very rarely, actually. They often come sickeningly soggy. Yuck.

See! Check that out, man. The ikan bilis still garing wan leh. Bite into one and hear it crunch if you don't believe me.

Not bad, huh? Pure skill, dudes.

4. Eat it. Taste it. Savour it. Enjoy it completely for such fine flavour doesn't come easy often. Neither does it ever come as cheap. This nasi lemak cost less than RM1 but I don't know how much it was exactly. I bought it with a packet of teh 'O' ais kurang manis and the bill came up to RM2 ONLY. So affordable!

5. And then you eat it some more. As for me, I don't really like the tiny chili seeds in the sambal so I usually push it aside and pick out only the cap for flavour. I know. I'm picky as all hell. Stop judging me already. I'll judge you right back and make you my object of scorn.

6. And eat it some more still till you reach your last spoonful. Plan ahead and be sure to leave a good mix of ikan bilis, kacang and telur rebus together with your rice. It's all about having foresight. Make sure that the mix in that final spoonful is one that'd never be forgotten. It has to be THE spoonful of that particular bungkus. It has to be so good that... It. Makes. HISTORY.

Uh... But as you can see, I left only the ikan bilis and kacang. There seems to have been a slight miscalculation with the telur rebus. *blush* Paiseh paiseh. I promise it won't happen again.

7. Wipe it clean and lick the brown wrapping paper dry. Leave no grain of rice when you're done for that would be a sin of the highest order. Such transgressions are never to be forgotten nor forgiven. You have been forewarned.

Do as I do and learn from me – BERSIH!
(Just close one eye and ignore that sambal patch.
It's not really there. It's all in your head.)

Mmmm. Sooooo good!

Okay okay. Last picture. I promise.


8. Always remember: If got head, must have tail. Heh. That was a direct translation from Hokkien's "oo thau, oo boay".

Mummy always says, "When you're done with your food,
always pack up the trash and put everything away neatly."

I did that.

I'm such a good girl.