Thursday, February 29, 2024

D-Day

D-End. ⚰️⚱️☠️

Friday, January 19, 2024

The Problem With Moving



Saw this on IG today and it just summed up how I felt
when I was in the thick of planning my move back to Penang. 


No, I never lived abroad. Never had the chance. I studied, began my career and started my family in my homeland 🇲🇾, except I was a 3.5-hour drive away from the city in which I was born. 


Moving to KL at 17, I didn't think anything would change. I didn't feel the difference nor expect the divide when I left. I didn't foresee any detachment. I mean, I was born and bred in Penang! NRIC 07! I would always be a Penangite! And a proud one at that! 🫡


But still, it happened. This happened. 👆


It was only when I was preparing for my move back to my hometown a good 18 years later when I was in my mid-thirties, that the distinction between the me then and the me now became obvious. I realised that I didn't know how to move back home,... because home didn't feel like home anymore. 🫤


I left a carefree teenage student at the cusp of life.

I returned, a wife and a mother, and later a survivor, 
with a business to run and a home and family to care for. 


I can't explain it any other way. It really, really felt like time stood still the whole time I was away, and I had outgrown this life that once was mine. To be honest, Penang was almost unrecognisable. I couldn't get to where I wanted to go without Waze. (I learned to drive in KL. 😅) And even old friends had turned into familiar strangers almost two decades later. 


Still, I had to try.


Refamiliarising myself with my little island took a while. In fact, it took longer than expected, no thanks to Covid and the lockdown. And although I still miss my life and friends in KL so many, many muchness, 4.5 years later, I can finally say that I'm starting to grow accustomed to life back in Penang. 🏝️


I've kinda settled on my favourite hawkers, haunts, and hangouts; places where the aunties, uncles, and service staff know me, my name and my order well enough for me to sit down and just have the food arrive. (Every day go same place, eat same-same. 😆) I've rekindled old friendships and made new ones. But yes, I still use Waze everywhere I go; at least now it's mainly to avoid traffic. (Penang also always jam.)


Is this home? Well, my house here feels like home. 🏡 But beyond these four walls, I still have a ways to go before I can honestly say that Penang is, without a doubt, where I feel most at home at as opposed to anywhere else in the world. In the mean time, I guess this is my truth:


Penang is my base, KL is my escape and Family is my home.

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

The Word "Piano"

JJ has always had a way with words.


JJ: Do we have piano today? 

Pam Song: Yes

.JJ: WHATTTTT??? I hate piano!

Pam Song: You still have to go.

JJ: Why?? Even the word "piano" has NO in it! Pia-NO!

Pam Song: 😅😂🤣 Hahahahaha... Good one. Let's go.

JJ: NooOoOoOOoooOOoo!


LOL. This boy cracks me up!

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

A Pink-Themed Christmas Tree & Year-End Wishes



Bought my family Christmas tree along with all its bells and whistles a long time ago during the Christmas of 2012 and it has served me well all these years. Pretty. But also pretty boring after a decade and one. So, this is the very first time I'm switching things up and giving our family tree the chance to look pink and rosy. #myChristmaswishthisyear #girlydreamcometrue #pinkfever




It's not what you'd typically find in a home with boys but, I mean... The person who dresses the tree gets to decide what it looks like, right?? 🤣🙆‍♀️ Anyway, I've always thought of doing this – switch up one key colour every year – but I just never got around to doing it. I think it'd be a great idea in the long run to help us differentiate the years instead of just guesstimating our Christmases with the kids' increasing heights. 😂😅 


Christmas 2024 with my updated Christmas tree, Version 2.0. 🎄 


Anyhoo... Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, 
and Happy One-Week-In-Between from
me and my little family to you and yours. 🥳

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Dealing With An Idiot

What does one do when one finds oneself trapped in the never-ending nightmare of dealing with a perpetual idiot who has made practising idiocy their life's calling? How many times is an idiot allowed to be idiotic before his/her idiocy becomes too much for one to bear? And what if, by some cosmic joke, one is tasked with the unenviable duty of managing a true master of idiocy? 


How to tahan dealing 
with an idiot day in and day out?? 
How to tahan, I ask you?!? 😤😡


The patience of a saint, the diplomacy of a seasoned diplomat, and a sense of humour that borders on the absurd – three things that are required for one to successfully deal with those who have made idiocy their life's calling; all of which, I do not have. 😕 So, I shall blog this rant, take a deep breath, steel myself for the idiocy ahead, and remember, this day shall end, sleep shall come, and when I awaken, His mercies are new every morning. 😮‍💨🌈☀️

Thursday, July 06, 2023

Year 5 Done And Dusted!

Thursday, 6 July 2023 – what a day!




The boys' school was celebrating its Year-6 Graduation & Speech Day today and someway, somehow, my Year-5-er managed to make me exceptionally proud. 




Although he is in Year 5, we were notified beforehand that he was going to receive a Math award at the Year 6 Graduation and were invited to show up. 




Caden after receiving the Mathematics Award.


However, to our surprise, Caden was honoured with not one,
but two 🏆🏆 (!!) awards this school year! 😱 


He received the ✨Mathematics Class Award✨ for demonstrating diligence and passion for learning in all aspects of Math 🔢, as well as the ✨PE Spirit Award✨ that is awarded to a student whose attitude and enthusiasm for PE and sports had made them a role model to others. 🥰 


Caden who was somewhat in shock at receiving the PE Spirit Award. LOL.


I’m happy he won the Math Award cos, well, he’s always been really good with logic, space, mental calculation and just numbers in general so I'm glad his Mathematical prowess is being recognised and at least we now know that we not just syok sendiri bangga diri. The school actually agrees with us. 😂 


Having said that, as a mom, I’m extra proud of the PE Spirit Award he received because it tells me that this FOBISIA T-Ball Captain and School Council Member is growing up to be a good person, who’s a good role model to those around him. 


---------


My dear firstborn – Caden, 

Guess today we learned that you’re not all brawn and no brains, and hey, you’re not all brains with two left feet, either! You’ve got the best of both worlds and Mommy is so proud of what you’ve achieved throughout the school year and of the person you are growing up to be. You did well and aced Year 5! 💪 

Your leadership, diligence and hard work has paid off for you this 2022/2023 and I couldn't be prouder and happier for you. 1 more year left in Primary. One last lap. Keep it up! Mommy is cheering you on! 🥳🎉 
Caden and his two certificates from the awards he received.


Hand Squeezes Always,
Mommy

Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Working Class Citizen

Yup! Friend has gone back to full-time work. 😁


It's been a little over 2 months since I've returned to working full time – albeit in a mostly WFH setting – but I'm really quite enjoying this new-old phase of my life. 


Overall, it's been good! Working and having a life outside of mommy-hood is very psychologically and emotionally rewarding for me. I feel purposeful and empowered. I feel "useful" – for lack of a better word. Like I'm finally utilising my brain, talents and skills in a meaningful and contributive way. 


I know, I know. Raising humans is purposeful work that requires brain, talent and skill, as well. (Not to mention immense love, dedication and patience! 😆) Especially so if you want to raise good, godly human beings who will contribute positively to society in time to come. 


BUT BUT BUT... it's just not the same. FTWM projects are sprinkled with deadlines that come and go swiftly. Raising kids, on the other hand, is a lifelong process with no checklist in sight. #ilovemychecklist (Yes, even when they're 55 and retired, I'm sure there will still be some measure of mothering to be done. 🤭) 


The SAHM life is really not for me lah.


Even though I kept myself busy semi-freelancing, selling YLEO, undergoing chemo to save my life and running GiftAGift.my all through my years of SAHM-ness, I mostly still felt... lost. Purposeless. Stifled and suffocated. Like I'm always in a rut, living each day on my hamster wheel – running endlessly while getting nowhere. Just doing unseen things for others and not being recognised and rewarded for my efforts.


So, going back to work has
been welcomed change for me!


Of course, I initially worried about not being able to keep up after being away from the industry for so long. But now, after being back for awhile, I feel like I've found my stride and I'm doing alright la. HAHA. #shameless I wake up each morning with purpose, ready to face the day and start ticking off the to-dos on my list. #todolistsrock


Naturally, juggling work and family is no easy feat that's exceedingly demanding at times. There are days when I feel frazzled and stretched thin from meeting deadlines whilst still ensuring that dinner is on the table by 7pm. But I've come to realise that it's worth it. Because at the end of a busy day, I always feel tired... but accomplished. 💪


It's not about the paycheque (bluffing you la, of course earn money syok also la 🤭), it's not about seeking external validation (but also happy when proposals fly and jobs cepat-cepat get approved, too 🤣) but rather, it's about feeling valued and appreciated for what I bring to the table. #truth


And at the end of the day, I strongly believe that being a happy and fulfilled individual makes me a better person... and a better mom. Don't get me wrong. I have no regrets putting my career on hold to raise my children this past decade. But now that they're a little more grown up, and especially after having survived cancer (twice!) I think it's time I start investing a bit more in Me once again.


To the next chapter! 🥂

Monday, June 12, 2023

The Little Twist Tie That Wrapped Itself Around My Heart

Last week while I was on a work call, JJ quietly crept into my room handed me this little heart he made out of twist tie and immediately tiptoed out without making a sound. 🤫




It made me smile cos only he would do something like this. 🥰 


I didn't have the time to take a proper pic when it happened so I no longer remember the exact date, but I'm blogging this now so I remember that it happened anyway. That in the middle of a busy work day, my almost-9-year-old took the time to tell me that he loves me... without having to say a word. ❤️