Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Artist: John Mayer Song
Title: Dreaming With A Broken Heart




When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering was she really here
Is she standing in my room?
No, she's not
'Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye

Wondering, could you stay, my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No, she can't
'Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands?
Would you get them if I did?
No, you won't
'Cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part


It's been 3 days and 16 hours since you left us. 88 hours since we hugged and shared a teary goodbye at KLIA 2. And yet, I continue to find myself feeling heavy-hearted and blue because of the lack of you.


I instinctively want to tell you stories of all the funny and silly things JJ does so we can laugh about it together. But you're not around to listen to me to. I come home expecting to hear funny stories, too. But of course, I hear none. And up till now, JJ and I still find ourselves accidentally calling out your name when we need help.


Three nights ago, you got in touch and the kids shared hellos, goodnights and I-miss-yous with you over WhatsApp. Two evenings ago, JJ asked to send you video a video telling you about the flowers he picks from school. Just yesterday, JZ said, "I miss her a lot, Mommy. I want Aunty Jas to come back."


Sigh. It's really isn't easy moving on after two years of togetherness. Especially not when space and time (i.e. every waking moment) are shared. But all good things must come to an end. And I guess what they say is true – this really feels like a break-up. Mutual, but no less painful and heartbreaking.


Goodbye, Dear Jas.

Take care over there in Davao.
And may we meet again
someday, somewhere, somehow.

XOXO, 
Pam Song

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol, Be There On The Double!

JJ knows the way home. So when I made a detour today to put gas in my empty tank, this conversation ensued:


JJ: Mommy where are we going?

Pam Song: We're going to pump petrol.

JJ: *eyes light up* We going to see PAW PATROL???


LOL. Urm, no.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Blessed To Be A Blessing

I've been filling my home with framed quotes and verses to up the positive around here. Last week, I decided to prepare one for an acquaintance, too. (Her mom isn't doing to well and was in ICU.) We're not particularly close but I felt led to do so and so I did. Passed the framed bible verse through a mutual friend and today, my WhatsApp message ding-dinged with this heartwarming exchange. 




"Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,
and one who waters will himself be watered."

– Proverbs 11:25 –

Monday, May 01, 2017

JZ & JJ's Favourite Part Of A Day Out

Was very happening today. Brought the kids to a kiddie gym with some friends in the morning, had a long lunch with them at a Chinese restaurant, then zoomed off to Starling Mall on our own thereafter to catch an afternoon movie. Yup, that's 2 malls in 1 day. #achievementunlocked


We went all the way there cos we wanted to try MBO's new Kecil Hall. They were screening Smurfs  – something the kids haven't watched before – but unfortunately, tickets were fully sold out. We ended up watching The Boss Baby instead. I loved it! We've actually Popcorn Time-d it for the kids a couple of times over lunches at home but I've never actually sat through the whole movie myself.


The Husband came to join us for dinner at Uptown after the movie. (He did his guy thing today and went looking for an electric guitar to buy with a new friend from church.) It felt like we hadn't seen him all weekend since he started getting more involved in church. This was his attempt to connect with the kids over dinner.


The Husband: *asks JZ* Did you have fun?

JZ: Yes. 

The Husband: What was your favourite part of the day? 

JZ: *thinking hard πŸ€”* The movie. 

The Husband: *turns to JJ* JJ, what was your favourite part of the day? 

JJ: *says distractedly while playing on the phone* Eating. 


😳😳😳

Say wha-??

We thought we heard him wrongly so
The Husband asked again. And this time... 


JJ: *loudly plus some irritation* EATING!


πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Hahahahaha. This boy cracks me up!

God Hears The Simple Stories Children Tell

Our cell host, Adrian, always prays before he finds parking. And I promise you, he always, always gets good parking because of it! Like at-the-doorstep kind of parking, okay. No kidding!


So while at the recently-opened Starling Mall last night, I asked JZ to pray for God to give us a good parking space. We needed all the supernatural help we could get considering it was a Sunday night on Labour Day weekend. 


Here's how it went...


JZ: Dear Jesus... Please give us a parking space... And let us park the car.

The Husband: And then? What must you say after that? 

JZ: *unsure* Thank you? πŸ€”

Pam Song: Yes... And then? How do you end the prayer? 

JZ: *without hesitation* The end. 


πŸ˜³πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

ROFL!!! I almost died and went to heaven laughing.
Hahahaha. Kids, kids... I hope God enjoyed that story. 


Either way, He definitely heard this child's earnest and simple prayer cos we DID get a good parking space just 3 lots away from the escalator up! God is good! 

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Making A House A Home

The Husband and I have been living in KL for about 5.5 years now. (I moved back down to be with him a few months after we got married.) In these 5.5 years, I've moved a total of 4 times. Yes, FOUR. FREAKING. TIMES. πŸ˜… Crazy, right?


The first move was from Penang down to Mont Kiara in KL. 4 months later, we moved to Subang cos ugh, don't get me started on the MK jam. We lived in Subang for about 2 years then moved to our current condo. A year later, we moved down the hall to another unit in the same block of the same condo. LOL. #gila


Anyway, I've kinda unintentionally resisted setting up home in these houses cos... well, we've somewhat always talked about moving back to Penang someday. So, at the back of my mind, I thought – why put in any effort or throw in any money into a place we won't stay very long at? Doesn't make sense, right? At least that was what I thought at the time.


But now, I'm beginning to think differently. 


Mainly cos my dream of moving into our own home back in Penang is very quickly becoming a reality that is always just beyond my reach. πŸ™ That one dream that still eludes me and escapes my grasp each and every time. πŸ˜” It always seems like we're making plans to head back this year. But "this year" always turns into "next year" and then "not now" and "see how". 😒 Still, it's a dream that I hope never becomes "never". πŸ™


So yes, it looks like we're here to stay for now.


It's a little of a "yay" and a little of a "nay" for me, to be honest. I've always loved being in KL because my church, my friends and my work are all here. But there's just something about having your own home, decorated with your own stuff, in your own style, with everything placed, set and done your way, that's just so deeply fulfilling and satisfying for a woman. Plus, the feeling of permanence that comes with living in your own home just makes a big difference.


Thing is, although the store room in our Penang house is filled with boxes upon boxes of MYSALE steals, Daiso buys, random decorative stuff and other kitchen knick-knacks from everywhere possible by now πŸ“¦πŸ“¦πŸ“¦ – household hoarding is my secret joy and financial Achilles heel πŸ˜… – I've not unpacked any of it. Why? Cos I've always wanted to unpack it all in my own space. Very idealistic, I know. So I've waited. And waited. And waited. ⏱


Until now. Cos... screw it lah!
I'm tired of waiting to be happy. 😀


Some of my latest buys are still in KL so I've decided to just unpack and use them NOW rather than later. It's time to make this house our home. #determined


Side table and geometric tea light holder
from MYSALE. Potted plant from SSF.


Kids organising bins from MYSALE.




I really love how easy and convenient preparing the kids for school is now that I've started using these bins. JZ's stuff are on the left half and JJ's stuff are on the right half. This includes school bags, library books, uniforms, PE attires, socks, underwear and diapers – everything in one place without me having to run in and out of the bedroom for anything before rushing them off to school. A winning buy that's totally worth the money! #score


Serving tray, wooden brain teasers and wooden tissue box
from MYSALE. Table from IKEA.


Some brain teasers in the middle of the hall to entertain the guests we're looking forward to having over now that we've integrated ourselves into our cell at SIBKL. (We ended up hosting hangout night with some cellmates 2 weeks ago.) God has really been good to us. He brought us to the perfect cell with all right dynamics, the same maturity, and the perfect psychographics for us to thrive and feel comfortable in. Yay! 


Anyhoo, I digress. 

Back to the subject at hand.


Tray table from MYSALE.


 Glass vases from MYSALE. Photo frames from IKEA.
Lavender potted plant from SSF.




This is a difficult wall to address cos it's right next to my bedroom door. Put anything too big there and it blocks the entryway. Anything too small, and it seems odd and out of place. I can't decide if I want this setup here permanently cos it's a little low but, it'll do for now. I think the pictures help breathe a little more life into this little corner of the house, though. I'm kinda glad I decided to remove them from our bedroom bookshelf and put them out here. 


Table and colourful kiddie bookshelf from MYSALE.
Table lamp from IKEA. Diffuser from Young Living.


Put these in one corner of our bedroom. (That wall was left empty before and the diffuser was diffusing from the floor.) They help make the room feel more organised, personalised and lived-in. I plan to get a 2-seater sofa and/or a work table to effectively use up the rest of the space in front of our bed. Hopefully I find something nice and cheap! Haha. SSF, maybe?


Aiya, there's more ID and sprucing up to be done once I get my stuff from Penang back to KL la. I can't wait to get to it! πŸ€— But bringing all back down is going to take a whole lotta trips up and down the North-South. Not an easy feat considering we always travel back to Penang with the kids and a helper so there's hardly any empty space in the car to begin with.


Also, filling in the little gaps around the house will require spending more money at SSF, MYSALE, IKEA and Daiso. πŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ’Έ (These seem to be the only places I shop at, eh?) You'd be surprised how much the miscellaneous things can cost! So, Imma really have to pace myself on that one lest I go broke trying. 😁


Oh well, at least I'll be a happy woman
eating white bread and plain porridge
in my very pretty home. 😝

LOLOLOL! 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Busy Behind The Scenes

Been blogging pretty often these past few days and am feeling very achieved. *insert smug face* Haha. Most don't see the results of my daily diligence though.


Cos I'm BACKDATING. Hahahaha. 
#cheatingthesystem


Time to catch up with posting all the goodies I've stored in "TO BLOG" on Notes on my phone lah. Too many already. They're mainly funny conversations I've had with JZ and JJ, and some random anecdotes from here and there. Things I laughed at and decided I couldn't let pass without at least jotting it down for future posting. #collectingmemories And the future is now. =)

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Recycling Bottles... Again

Came home after sending JZ to school and quickly got to doing my monthly ritual of cleaning my used #YLEO bottles. Too many already! Makes all my counter tops so messy and cluttered. Beh tahan. So... clean, clean, clean! Wash, wash, wash! Scrub, scrub, scrub! It's always better to recycle than to toss! ♻️




p/s: Lemon EO removes grime and glue like a charm. πŸ˜‰ One drop and everything just melts away. Try it! 

Monday, March 20, 2017

JJ's New Word: Transparent

The anti-inflammatory eyedrops I've been using post-lasik are white. Which is half scary, half weird, and 100% wth. I really don't know why they've made it so. Why not just keep it transparent? Or at least opaque? Why must be like 110% white kind of white??? πŸ€” See!


Dare not show super close up lest I freak you out. Haha.


I look like a walking freak-show
every time I apply it la. πŸ˜‘


Thankfully, it doesn't scare my kids though. I thought it would but it doesn't. JJ couldn't be bothered at all, and it just makes JZ a little concerned and curious but nope, no fear whatsoever. Phew! 


Anyhoo, although JJ's vocabulary is pretty wide for a 2.5yo kid (shameless brag 😝) he still has lots of room to grow and much to learn. I had this conversation with him today...


Pam Song: What colour are Mommy's tears? 

JJ: Uh... Black!

Pam Song: Ha??? Black!? Look again! 

JJ: Uh... White?

Pam Song: Yes! So weird, right? What colour are your tears? 

JJ: White! 

Pam Song: No, they're transparent! Trans-pa-rent!

JJ: Tans-pear-enn.

Pam Song: Yes. My tears are white now but yours are? Trans...?

JJ: ...former. 😁

Pam Song: πŸ˜³πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…


New words – the struggle is real... for a 2yo. πŸ˜„

Bad Days Require Comfort Food

Today is not a good day. Or rather today's supreme emo-ness is a result of yesterday being a super bad day. One of the lowest points in my motherhood journey thus far. 😒 And like any mom worth her salt, I'm saying that after having seen my fair share of shit, shitty days and even shittier nights. Sigh.


Firstly, I hate teaching. Like, I seriously hate it. It's not my thing. At all. I only do it because I have to. Because I want my kids to succeed in life. And not be the dumb-dumb of the class. But because of this, JZ hates me. He said something really nasty to me and broke my heart in the process. πŸ’”


Secondly, I don't like dealing with people. I really don't. Just about as much as I hate teaching. But with two boys in the house, I perpetually have to step in to break up fights and put out fires. At this age, JJ is usually the culprit. #terribletwos and all that, right? So, he gets punished for it. But because of that, JJ hates me. He punched me in the face 3 times last night, thus, shattering what was left of my already-broken heart. πŸ’”πŸ’”


I have come to hate the mom I have to be in order to raise intelligent, kind, good kids. It's really not the mom I want to be or am on the inside. I'm not naturally military about bedtime. Nor am I driven to have them outperform their peers. I'm also not at all particular about them having to read, write and count by age 3 like all the other kiasu supermoms out there. That's just not me. I just do it because I have to.


Thing is, in spite of all my efforts, I feel like the kids are just so unappreciative and ungrateful. 😒 Worse, they end up hating me for it! 😭 I really don't see how much worse it can get from here on out. Sigh. I guess I'm just feeling really unaccomplished as a mom today lah. 😞


And The Husband knows it.

So he took the morning off and brought me
for some really sinful comfort food today. πŸ”πŸ—πŸŸ


KFC Zinger Burger + Hot & Spicy Rib + French Fries.


Felt much better after that. ☺️


The Husband boasted, "See, only your Husband can make you feel happy again," with a face so smug I just cannot. And just as I was on the brink of scoffing at his remark, he continued, "...anyway that's my job, right? To keep you happy." AWWW... πŸ’

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Books For Early Years?

As spotted at MPH Bookstore, Bangsar Village.


What is our world coming to? Sigh. 


This is a chilling reminder that as parents, we really need to model healthy family behaviours and practices at home so that our kids don't grow up with the worldview whereby the failures of the human race becomes an acceptable norm. That they grow up continuing to believe in the sanctity of marriage and the power of committed love. It's sad to see books like these being published because it indirectly shows us how many little ones are going through such heartaches and pains. It all begins at home. Mom and Dad. You and me. It begins with us.

"Friends" For A Season And A Reason

Over the course of my many fantastic (and some not-so-fabulous) friendships, I have come to believe that some friends come into our lives for only a season or a reason. Not all are made to stay. Some just last longer than others. Some barely begin at all.


The friendships that fall into the first category usually get intense real quick. They bubble and steam – become delightfully overwhelming – and then they fizzle out after awhile and everybody just goes back to being something a little more than strangers. The memories are good. Worth reminiscing, most definitely. But rarely are they enough to empower those involved to put in the effort to reunite or rekindle the friendship.


On the other hand, the friendships that fall into the second category are usually ignited by a shared passion (or hatred πŸ˜…) toward something (or someone πŸ˜‚). It lasts but a fleeting moment in time – Time and its fleeting-ness, of course, being subjective as most things are – sometimes lasting a day, a week, a month, a year or sometimes more... and then the friendship dies a natural death, like a flower in a field that has done its part and has given all it can possibly give in its lifetime – its nectar, its fragrance and its beauty – and is good no more.


The bottom line is this: As different as they may be in purpose, intensity, duration and form, at the end of the day, they both result in just one thing...


The closing of a chapter.
The culmination of a story.
The ending of an era. 


I've had a few of such endings to some of my friendships. (Often times, it's one or the other – an epic ending or an epic friendship. Rarely ever both. πŸ˜… Haha.) Super close friends who once were and are no longer on my speed dial, nor even on my mile-long list of running WhatsApp chat messages. Friendships drawn apart by misunderstandings and unresolved hurts. Friendships that were possibly salvageable at the time (and should have been πŸ˜”) but just grew colder and colder as days passed, freezing all that pain and negativity in its tracks.


Then there are those friends who once jumped at every chance of meeting up and catching up, who no longer share the same desire to bond. Friendships whose use-by date have passed once the common ground crumbles, the convince factor dissolves, the friendships' use fades. Such friendships, I see not a reason to fight for or save. A friendship of convenience and a friendship of unequal use is truly of no use to personal happiness and growth.


Thankfully, I let go pretty easily. πŸ™‚


I believe that is so because I'm one of those take-it-as-it-is kinda persons. I don't have trouble accepting that life on Earth is life that comes with both, good and bad. If you want the good, you better jolly well take the bad together with it! Great times, amazing people, fabulous finishes, peppered with bad people, bad friendships, bad endings who make the good stuff, good times and good people really stand out and shine.


So, I've resolved to just continue to celebrate all the good in my life and shuffle away the bad. Meet new friends who are and bid farewell to friends who were. Because friendships cannot be forced and endings cannot be predicted. After all, the double-duty best friends I've always had in my life who have transcended the seasons and survived the storms are still The Husband and Mee. ❤️

Sunday, March 12, 2017

JZ's Second Hospital Stay

Resting in his hospital bed after two tiring mornings of vomiting.


Well, a second time for everything, right?

Sigh. πŸ˜žπŸ™πŸ˜’




Don't worry, Baby. Mommy's here.
Mommy will always be here. πŸ’™

Friday, March 10, 2017

The Gift Of Sight

...from myself to myself. LOL.


Yours truly in bug-eyed eye covers – compulsory bedtime routine
for the next 1 month πŸ˜‚ – just 6 hours after having undergone
Customised IntraLase Lasik at Vista, The Curve
under the care of Dr Aloysius Low.


Thank God for His provision and blessing. If not for my monthly Young Living cheques, I would never have been able to afford the luxury of waking up to clear sight. Tomorrow, that is. πŸ˜…

Monday, March 06, 2017

JZ's 4yo Logic

Was at the grocery store with JZ today when he sighted a rack of Kinder Eggs from a distance away. Uh oh. That's it lah. Well, I wasn't in the mood to resist his whining today so I gave in rather quickly. Like in-2-seconds kind of quickly. And because I also wasn't in the mood for any whining later either, I asked him to grab one for JJ, too. #oneofthosedays


When we finally got to the payment counter, I said...


Pam Song: *impatiently* Quickly choose one. The other one is Didi's.


JZ Picks both up. Shakes them. Thinks. 


Pam Song: Quickly quickly. Can know meh what is inside just by shaking it. 

JZ: *matter-of-factly* The loudest is the biggest. *passes the other one to me*


I didn't think of that. Good logic, Son!

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Impromptu Date Night

A long overdue one at that. Haha.


But with two kids under 5 and no gramps in town to help with the babysitting, it really ain't no surprise. As it is, tonight is already a blue-moon miracle. LOL. I can confidently say that we put off going to the movies about... I dunno... 20 billion times? πŸ˜³πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚ Hahahaha. ANYHOO...




Sleepy eyes, home specs, bad hair – DON'T CARE. Let's Logan!

Saturday, March 04, 2017

Do Ants Have Teeth?

JJ has this terrible habit of wiping his dirty hands right onto the front of his shirt and touching cold fruits to his cheek. Verrrryyy disgustinngggggg. So one night after dinner, The Husband saw it and started to get on his case.


The Husband: Didi, the ants are going to bite you if you put the sweet pear on you face!!

JJ: *bo effect* 😁😁😁 *just smile only*

JZ: *nonchalantly* But ants don’t have teeth.

The Husband: 😳 Is it? *while turning to look at me*

Pam Song: *shrugs* Dunno leh.

JZ: *matter-of-fact-ly* Yes. So their teeth won’t spoil because they like to eat sweets. God made them that way.


Haha. Makes sense. Very logical, this one.
I've never thought about it before, actually.
Do ants have teeth?? πŸ€” #BTC πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

A Foreigner In Familiar Territory

Back when I was blogging a lot, I blogged whenever I could, and wrote about whatever I wanted to. Effortlessly. But after not having blogged for... I dunno,... 1 year? Maybe more? It feels so... foreign to start up again. Foreign but familiar all at the same time.


I find myself feeling that way a lot these days.


JJ is now at JZ's old pre-SCHOOL. I used to feel so comfortable there with my other mommy friends. Just chilling, laughing, and catching up after drop-off and pick-up. That was our place. Our hangout spot. Our zone. Now? It's cold and unfamiliar. All the more so because I don't have time to linger. I don't even go in anymore during drop-off because I have to zoom off to pick JZ from his "big-boy school". Doesn't help that we're also told that school is now a no-parent zone during school hours. So... yeah. It's familiar, but it's not the place I remember it to be anymore. 


But people change and FRIENDSHIPS evolve, too, I guess. My mommy friends and I are still good friends. In fact, I'd say they're my core group of friends at this juncture in life. But having our kids in different schools all over town, that start and end at different times, have made it difficult for us to meet up as regularly as we did before. Now, catch-ups are always rushed. We all arrive and leave at different times. And it's difficult keeping up with what's happening with everybody's life and kids and holidays and helper problems. LOL. WhatsApp chat groups can only do so much to help keep the friendships alive; it's time together that helps them thrive. 


Then there's CHURCH. It feels good to finally find a place that we feel comfortable in once again. It's also great cos The Husband is now on fai-yahhh and is keen on serving. But oh... how long it's been since we've served in church. I don't know about him but I don't even know where to start! Worship team? No way they're gonna let a newbie up on stage immediately. Dance ministry? I can't tell for sure yet but it doesn't seem like they have one at the church we're at. Sunday school? Sure, I've served there before at CHCKL but... I'm not so sure it's for me. #zeropatience I can't wait to step back into things but I don't know where I should place my steps anymore. 


And PENANG. Oh, Penang. I've started to look forward to the fact that we're going to go back to Penang. But I also wonder how things will be when we eventually do up and leave KL. I've not lived in Penang since The Husband and I got married. And from what I can remember of the 1 year and a handful of months that I lived there before our marriage... I didn't at all feel at home then. I missed my friends, I missed the work that I did in MCKL, and I missed my freedom. I was in the place I grew up in, but I didn't feel like I settled in very well at all then. What if I end up not feeling completely at home this time around, too? 


Going back to Penang also sounds like a great opportunity for me to start exploring DANCE again for fun and for exercise. I've got the contacts and the people to dance with all settled already. Seems like I can just go back and jump right in. But gosh, I don't think I even groove to the same music them kids groove to these days anymore. "Can't Stop The Feeling" from Trolls is about as groovy as this mom gets these days. And them sexy, rolling-on-the-floor, body-roll stuff... I don't think I can do that anymore.


Above the fun and play and dance and doodles, there's the worry of how BUSINESS is going to fare for me once I head back to Penang. YLEO has been a good source of income for me and it's been going swell thus far but with the impending move, a lot is going to change. Processes remain the same but I won't be able to pick up orders for friends and family, and a whole bunch of us will have to resort to shipping our monthly orders up to Penang. The increase of cost is not going to be good for business; and neither is their recent announcement of price increase come April 2017. Sigh. 


I guess the problem is this:

I have too many unanswered questions
because of the state my life is in now – in limbo.


What if my kids can't get into our school of choice in Penang by the time we need to move? Where will they go then? Are the international schools in Penang better than KL or at least as good? Should we go with American or British syllabus? Will they have a spot midway through a term? 


What are my friendships gonna be like once I move back to Penang? Will we be able to last the distance? Or will we just draw apart, move on and forget that we ever were? Will I be able to find another good set of friends back there? 


Why did it take us so long to settle into a good church and find a cell? Why do we have to leave so soon after we've found one? Is 6 months long enough for us to root ourselves in SIB? What will uprooting be like when we have to leave? Will we be able to find a good church in Penang to root ourselves there? 


Why does Penang feel foreign to me? When will I feel like Penang is home once again? Why does renovating a home cost so much? Should we do more cos we plan to live there? Or should we do less cos we'll eventually move again? Will we move again? 


Can I still dance? Can my 32-year-old body still move the way it did?? Do I still have the moves??? What if I can't bend that way no more?? What if I can't even keep up with the class cos of my #mombrain and lack of stamina?? 


Will I still be able to be financially independent when I'm back in Penang? Will my YLEO business survive the move? Will my downlines continue to make their monthly purchases without my help to bring their stuff back for them? Will the price increase cause them to stop buying YLEO altogether??


Everything is so overwhelming!!!
ARRRGGHHHHHHHH!!

But then again, I guess the human mind and body
can be about as resilient as a cockroach when it needs to be.

Persistence. Patience. And lots of Prayer.

*deep breath*

I choose to believe that that's all it takes. 


Well, I didn't think I could write long, grandmother, emo posts like I could before. But I guess that blogger hasn't died; she was just hiding somewhere deep inside me. Just like my inner pre-school mom, social butterfly, servant of God, Penangite, dancer and businesswoman. Just gotta lure them out. I'm gonna lure them out. Just watch me do it. 

Friday, February 24, 2017

Funny Things Toddlers Ask

Tonight, JJ asked The Husband the weirdest question.


JJ: Papa? You love my ears, Papa? πŸ‘‚


LOL! I wonder why he asked that and not anything else like... "Papa? You love me, Papa?" Or perhaps, "Papa? You love my drawing, Papa?" Or maybe even, "Papa? You love watching TV with me, Papa?" Why ears of all things?? Haha. Maybe it's because Mommy looooves nibbling his ears so much. HAHAHAHA. Yum yum! #confessiontime πŸ˜† So maybe that's why he wants to know if Papa loves them as much. 😁

Saturday, February 18, 2017

My God, My Healer

I have a testimony to share with you guys...


I've been having problems with my hands and fingers since awhile back. Last time it was cos I was working on the laptop a lot and typing. But that was bearable. It went away after I stopped working full time.


The pain and stiffness started up again when I was pregnant with Ethan. I googled and it seemed like carpal tunnel syndrome is common during pregnancy so I didn't concern myself over it much. It tapered off after Ethan came along but would recur once in awhile.


It came back with a vengeance during our trip to Japan. My fingers were freezing at Shirakawago and Takayama but I had to hold on tightly to Caden's jacket in case he slipped. During that time, my fingers would hurt really badly from gripping so hard while being numb from the cold. I had shooting pains accompanied by stiffness.


After we came back, it didn't go away. I would experience different intensities of pain, depending on what I do with my hands and what time of day it is. I couldn't wring out a cloth or open a bottle without my fingers hurting - sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.


It got so bad that I started googling nerve damage and carpal tunnel syndrome remedies 3 nights ago. I told The Husband I still need my hands as I am barely halfway into my life! I also started applying essential oils for pain relief and bone/arthritis/nerve healing.


 Here's where it gets good. 


Last night, we attended our first cell group meeting with SIB - a church in KL. During worship, the cell host prophesied healing and deliverance over a bunch of physical ailments and spiritual issues. I was praying for someone else as he proclaimed those things.


But guess what??? After cell, when he asked who had any prayer requests, I realised that my fingers didn't hurt anymore!! The first time in a long time! As I prayed for another's healing, God was healing me! God is indeed good. He is ever faithful. And He performs instantaneous miracles like no man, doctor or oil can. My Jehovah Rapha. All praise and glory be to God.




"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, 
there's nothing my God cannot do.
My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, 
there's nothing my God cannot do... for you!"


If even at 2yo toddler class, our little ones sing it in Sunday School... why is it that big ones like us so often forget the fact that there is truly nothing that God cannot do? #stillhuman #stilllearning #onemiracleatatime Thank you, Jesus, for giving me my hands back. πŸ€—

Monday, February 13, 2017

Diaper-Free!

It was Ethan's first day at school without a diaper today. And guess what?? No accidents!! Came home in exactly the same pants and underwear as he wore when he went to school. Woohoo!! #achievementunlocked #toddlermilestone Good boy, Ethan! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Big boy already! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Mommy's so proud of you! 😘😘😘

Friday, February 03, 2017

JJ's 1st Sticker



Ethan got his first sticker from school today. It was sneakily hidden on his button. Mommy gets super excited of course. And this conversation ensues.


Pam Song: Wow!! Ethan you got a sticker today!! 

JJ: I have a sticker. 

Pam Song: Who gave it to you?? 

JJ: Zu. (His English-speaking class teacher.)

Pam Song: Why? What did you do? Were you a good boy today? Why did she give you a sticker today? (Too excited to wait for his answers to come. LOL.)

JJ: I never fight with my friends. πŸ€—

Pam Song: 😳


LOLOLOLOL!!!

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…




Oh, what will I do with this boy. πŸ™ƒ

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Dino Death

With two boys, bedtime conversations often revolve around fearsome beasts, gruesome gore and heartless killing. Sigh. #lifewithboys is really life that's devoid of all princesses, ribbons and bows lah. #mommyisoutnumbered #Ineedababygirl


JJ: I use my water gun and shoot the T-Rex die.

The Husband: Where will you shoot? 

JZ: I will shoot the head and the tail. 

JJ: I shoot the leg and the eye. The tail. 

Pam Song: Ooo... smart. 

The Husband: Why you all shoot the tail? No point wan!

JZ: *matter-of-fact-ly* Because the tail will hit us and we will fly away. 


Well, I may not like the topic,
but I like their logic.
#cantwinthemall

Friday, January 27, 2017

JJ's 1st Prayer

JZ is sleeping in Ah Ma's room with his two older cousins so JJ gets a rare experience of a solo bedtime routine with both The Husband and I tonight.


The Husband: Say... "Jesus..." 

JJ: *without hesitation* Jesus, give me my food. Jesus, jingle bell... AWAY!! 

The Husband: In Jesus' name... 

JJ: AMEN!


Hahaha. Tham ciak is really tham ciak.
And that "jingle bell away" bit is another story
for another day. #patternbanyakbanyak

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Dino Tales

Was putting JJ to bed earlier tonight and it was taking all of forever so, in a fit of fury, I did something I usually don't do to my kids – scare him into obedience. 😈


Pam Song: *growls angrily* JJ! You better sleep now or else the dinosaur's gonna eat you already! 😠

JJ: I think the dinosaur like me.

Pam Song: 😳 ??? Dinosaur eat people wan!

JJ: *matter-of-fact-ly* Papa beat the T-Rex. I use water gun.

Pam Song: πŸ˜³πŸ˜…πŸ˜’


Ok la. Plan fail kau-kau. #crashandburn
So it's back to usual programming. 😩

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Suite Vs. Sweet

Was talking to Mama about our wonderfully luxurious hotel room at Intercontinental Hotel, Osaka when she said something that captured JJ's interest and made his ears perk up instantly.


Mama: This hotel is very nice wan. KV also stayed at Intercontinental the last time they came to Japan. They checked in so late they were upgraded to a suite!

JJ: *whips his head around to look at her* SWEET??? 🍬🍭🍫


ROFL! Tham ciak kooi is really tham ciak kooi la. Haha. Reminds me of the time Caden thought Ethan's weaning was him winning. Haha. Ahhh... the limitations of childrens' vocabulary tickle me greatly.