Thursday, March 16, 2017

"Friends" For A Season And A Reason

Over the course of my many fantastic (and some not-so-fabulous) friendships, I have come to believe that some friends come into our lives for only a season or a reason. Not all are made to stay. Some just last longer than others. Some barely begin at all.

The friendships that fall into the first category usually get intense real quick. They bubble and steam – become delightfully overwhelming – and then they fizzle out after awhile and everybody just goes back to being something a little more than strangers. The memories are good. Worth reminiscing, most definitely. But rarely are they enough to empower those involved to put in the effort to reunite or rekindle the friendship.

On the other hand, the friendships that fall into the second category are usually ignited by a shared passion (or hatred 😅) toward something (or someone 😂). It lasts but a fleeting moment in time – Time and its fleeting-ness, of course, being subjective as most things are – sometimes lasting a day, a week, a month, a year or sometimes more... and then the friendship dies a natural death, like a flower in a field that has done its part and has given all it can possibly give in its lifetime – its nectar, its fragrance and its beauty – and is good no more.

The bottom line is this: As different as they may be in purpose, intensity, duration and form, at the end of the day, they both result in just one thing...

The closing of a chapter.
The culmination of a story.
The ending of an era. 

I've had a few of such endings to some of my friendships. (Often times, it's one or the other – an epic ending or an epic friendship. Rarely ever both. 😅 Haha.) Super close friends who once were and are no longer on my speed dial, nor even on my mile-long list of running WhatsApp chat messages. Friendships drawn apart by misunderstandings and unresolved hurts. Friendships that were possibly salvageable at the time (and should have been 😔) but just grew colder and colder as days passed, freezing all that pain and negativity in its tracks.

Then there are those friends who once jumped at every chance of meeting up and catching up, who no longer share the same desire to bond. Friendships whose use-by date have passed once the common ground crumbles, the convenience factor dissolves, the friendships' use fades. Such friendships, I see not a reason to fight for or save. A friendship of convenience and a friendship of unequal use is truly of no use to personal happiness and growth.

Thankfully, I let go pretty easily. 🙂

I believe that is so because I'm one of those take-it-as-it-is kinda persons. I don't have trouble accepting that life on Earth is life that comes with both, good and bad. If you want the good, you better jolly well take the bad together with it! Great times, amazing people, fabulous finishes, peppered with bad people, bad friendships, bad endings who make the good stuff, good times and good people really stand out and shine.

So, I've resolved to just continue to celebrate all the good in my life and shuffle away the bad. Meet new friends who are and bid farewell to friends who were. Because friendships cannot be forced and endings cannot be predicted. After all, the double-duty best friends I've always had in my life who have transcended the seasons and survived the storms are still The Husband and Mee. ❤️


Whaley Bear said...

And some friendships despite the distance and silence is still rock solid once they reconnect from wherever they left off. But while we're apart, I still want for you to be your happiest wherever you're at, doing whatever you're doing. xoxo

pamsong said...

ATTN: Whaley Bear
– Aww, babe. Some things never change though circumstances do. Let's catch up!

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