Advise For My Growing Boys

Was inspired by an Instagram reel I watched while putting the boys to bed. Wise words from an elderly lady whose boys had already grown up. It got me thinking, so I decided to write a list of my own and sent it to the family chat late last night. Keeping it here for posterity and future reference.

Boys, as you grow up, here are a few things 

I want you to know and remember: 

1. Don’t confuse attention with respect. 

Anyone can laugh, cheer you on, and think you’re cool… even when you're doing stupid things. That doesn’t mean they respect you. Real respect comes from your character, your choices, and how you treat people, especially when nobody is watching.

2. Choose your friends wisely. 

The people you spend the most time with will shape who you become, whether you realise it or not. Choose friends who bring out the best in you. Not people who make you feel small, pressure you to be someone you’re not, or make bad choices seem normal.

3. Always have each other’s back. 

You’re brothers. God gave you to each other. So prioritise your relationship. Keep your friendship. Look out for each other, stand up for each other, and be there for each other. That doesn’t mean just blindly taking each other’s side, especially when one of you is wrong. Sometimes having your brother’s back means telling him the truth in love, too. But whatever happens, never let the world come between you.

4. You never have to prove that you’re tough. 

You don’t have to fight because someone challenged you. You don’t have to do something dangerous because someone dared you. And you don’t have to stay in a bad situation just to save face. Walking away isn’t weakness. Very often, it means you were the smartest person in the room.

5. Remember that the internet has a very long memory. 

The joke. The comment. The photo. The message. The thing you post because it’s funny or because everyone else is doing it. One day, a future employer, mentor, partner, or even your own children may see it. Don’t put something online that the future version of you will wish you hadn’t. 

6. If you’re ever in trouble, call us. 

Even if you’re embarrassed. Even if you think you messed up. Even if it’s 3am. Call us. Nobody’s perfect, and you will make mistakes growing up. Everybody does. What matters is that you learn from them. Learn to make better decisions, know when to walk away, know who deserves your friendship, and most importantly, know when to ask for help. 

Never feel like you have to figure everything out alone. 

Papa and Mommy will always be there for you. Always.