Wednesday, April 06, 2011

How To Not Be A Shitty Person (Alternatively Titled: How To Win At Life)

Ripped the following excerpt off of Brandy's blog and you're reading it here cos it's just too good not to share. As always, I've kept what works for me and either deleted or edited what worked only for her. Enjoy! =)


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HOW TO NOT BE A SHITTY PERSON
(ALTERNATIVELY TITLED: HOW TO WIN AT LIFE)


1. Tip as though your grandma was your waitress.

2. Stop sending forwards. Unless they include topless photos of Ryan Reynolds, just stop. Just stop. No really, stop.

3. Whenever you are talking about someone, imagine they are in the same room as you. Adjust your words and thoughts accordingly.

4. Don’t say “I apologize”. Say “I’m sorry”. And explain what you are sorry for. In detail. And never do it again.

7. Never follow up the phrase “I love you” with the word “but”.

8. Love your mom. Listen; she let you live in her womb for 9 months rent-free. She pretended that coloring page you ripped out and scribbled on as an adorable tot was worthy of the Louvre, and at Christmas she let you open your presents first. Unless your mom counts Kathy Bates character in Misery as her role model, cut her some slack. And give her a call! She misses you.

9. Don’t laugh at anyone who is doing something you can’t accomplish.

10. “Be Kind. No Exceptions.” (Via Secret Agent L.)

11. The bride is always right on her wedding day, the newborn baby is always adorable and your best friends ex-boyfriend is always a bastard.

12. Sign your name to everything you write. Too often “anonymous” is just another word for coward.

13. Be friends with the kind of people you want to be.

14. Don’t explain why you are a vegetarian while someone is cutting into a steak. Alternatively, don’t explain why you love being a carnivore when your friend is making you a vegan dinner.

15. Don’t pull out your acoustic guitar unless there are requests. Even if you wrote your own song. Especially if you wrote your own song.


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p/s: I didn't get my numbers wrong. 5 and 6 got deleted off my copy of the list cos it was just waaay too American. 

p/s/s: You might wanna pop by the original post cos her comment leavers had some good stuff to add to her list, too! 

p/s/s/s: It's no surprise that I like #11 best. But only cos it's truuueeeee!!! Y'all just don't know it yet. Especially that first part. =p

4 comments :

goingkookies said...

oh this is good...

my fav was #4 and #5 cos the other half does #4 much without the explanations n the repeated offences where else i tend to do #5 =(

hehe

Pam Song said...

ATTN: goingkookies
– It was, wasn't it? I liked it, too. Haha. And ooo... how fortunate that your fiancé does #4. It's always nice when they do that, right? Mine does that too. No "I apologise" nonsense. Haha. Seems so insincere.

And woai! Stop doing #5! (It's actually #7. =p)

hon said...

lol. the bit bout ryan reynolds is funny.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: hon
– Haha. I thought so, too. =p

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