Of Racist Comments, Sexist Comments & Generalisations

Was looking through Timothy Tiah the Lion King of Nuffnang's blog and I read his latest post entitled What I Look For In A Girl & Why I Wanna Get Married. (It's a good post. Go read.) As always, there were plenty of comments. (He is the Lion King of Nuffnang, after all.) But there was this one comment buried in the lot that really caught my eye. So much so that I decided to visit its owner's blog.

*click*

Her name's Melissa. And I'm guessing she's
his ex. His already wedded 24-year-old ex.
(Not to him, of course. Duh.)

Well, I've gone through all her posts (she seems to have just recently started blogging) and the more I read, the more I find it difficult to believe how amazing her relationship with her 'I am' husband is! (They've gotten themselves registered so that makes them lawfully wedded – hence the 'I am' and not an 'I do' since the wedding reception and dinner has yet to take place.)

And darn it, I'm envious as hell!

He cooks. He washes her clothes. He mows the lawn. He doesn't complain when she forgets to make dinner. He gives her pedicures. (That includes toenail filing AND painting!!!) He massages her toes during train rides. And he smells them, too! ARGH!!!

DAMMIT, I WANT A GUY
WHO WILL MASSAGE MY FEET
AND SMELL MY TOES, TOO!!!

Sigh.

Oh, and did I forget to mention?
He's an ang mor dude.

-_-

You know ah, I really think that we need more ang mor guys to go around lah. Chinese men are absolutely useless in this respect. In fact, they probably rank as one of the least romantic lovers in the world. If not the least. -_- You know what their problem is? Their problem is that they think that romance dies when the chase does.

Bodoh mia mereka semua.

You see ah... With the Indians, you have Shah Rukh Khan running through the fields and meadows while shaking his booty in his leading lady's direction. With the Malays, you have P. Ramlee singing his heart out from atop coconut trees. With the Westeners, you have the legendary Romeo & Juliet balcony serenade scene.

And with the Chinese?

Well, you have Wong Fei Hong and
Fong Sai Yuk kicking kung fu butt.

-_-

How lah like that??? No wonder our Chinese boys are stepping into the BGR market in the pathetic state of being so devoid of the ability to romance and express love lah! Haiyo!


So I got to thinking. Rather than painstakingly re-teach hopeless cases what they've already learnt over the years, rather than changing mindsets and worldviews, and rather than revising deeply ingrained cultural practices... why not just hunt down a good ang mor and marry him instead??? (See, I told you I was brilliant.)


It'll be so much easier, right? Plus, have you ever thought about the many, many, MANY plus points of marrying an ang mor leng chai? A lot, okayyy! Hear me out.

If you marry an ang mor...

You'll get to truly enjoy being romanced. In general, ang mors are waaay more romantic than Chinese men lah. They're more expressive. They'd go down on one knee for a proposal. And not just expect you to understand that you'd both get married some day. They'd buy you flowers for no reason at all. And they'd bring you out on official dates where you get to put on make-up and play dress up. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.


You'll get to be on the receiving end of nice words. Nice words that don't come out sounding wrong, that is. (I.e. "I thinking you is very bee-oo-tee-fool today. You thinking me also?") They're better in English. (Duh.) And they're usually good with words, sweet talking and the like. (Girls say they don't like it but in reality, they're all suckers for it.) Oh, and they've all got that to-die-for accent that always make girls go weak in the knees. And they sure as hell wouldn't end up calling me Pah-meh-lah. -_-


You wouldn't have to be the one pulling all the weight at home and in the kitchen. They'd cook. And bake. For you. Cina men want YOU to do the cooking and baking. They deem it your responsibility. They say they're putting food on the table while they work. That's not true. They put money in your hands and that's the end of it for them. YOU go to the grocers. YOU prepare the dishes. And YOU put the food on the table.


You'll be able to wear any shoe you want. 6-inch stilettos? No problem! 8-inch heels also can. Cos they're tall. They're all tall. And even if they're not that tall, they're still taller than our average Chinese boys. Sigh. Why so stunted ah, you all? Go do yourselves a favour and play more basketball can?


You won't have to wait till you're looking past your prime before you walk down the aisle. They tend to settle down earlier. (That blogger I told you about earlier? Well, she's my age. And her husband is one year younger than she is.) Don't know why that is, but I'd say it's a good thing. Why wait when you've already found The One? And if anything, you'd increase your chances of being able to see your grandkids and great-grandkids. (Mind you, I say that in all seriousness.) Which brings me to my next point.


You'll get to be proud parents of pretty kids with dark hair, fair skin and blue-green eyes. Or those with brown hair, fair skin and hazel eyes. Or those with black hair, freckled skin and deep set eyes. Aiyah, I could go on forever. A lot of options lah.

You know, I could go on forever. Really.

Listen to me and go for
the ang mor boy lah. Serious.

Stand outside Uplands, St. Christopher's or Dalat International, and wait. Sure got wan. Guarantee. And I think that it shouldn't be too difficult to snag an ang mor guy, either. I've heard that they have a thing for Asian women. =p

And just so you know, I didn't even really put a lot of thought into those points you saw, okay. They just came and I wrote them offhand. So that means that if I did put in the effort, there'd be a whole lot more comin' atcha from where those came from.


Anyhew, I'd kick in my extra neurons to add to that list right now but, unfortunately for you, even my back-up brain's all dried up already. It's been a long day and I'm pretty much running on empty. (See, I so nice. Tired also write long, long controversial post for you all to read.) Some other time, alrights? Nights!

p/s: Here's a friendly reminder to the cha bohs out there: girls, go do yourselves a favour and hunt down an ang mor boy. Tentu tak menyesal. Kalau dapat, mesti hantar kad jemputan kahwin, ya? =p