Don't worry. I'm not out to slay any men today.
*snorts*
*snorts*
Was just letting my mind wonder while I was in the shower... (I do it all the time. It's very, very therapeutic.) ...and, well, one thought kinda led to another. Got out, dried myself, got dressed, and decided to sit down to write. I needed to process what my mind was telling me before I forgot what I was thinking.
Before I knew it, I had a post starring back at me from the screen of my MacBook. As you will discover later, this part of the OTJ series doesn't really take the typical kill-men-glorify-women tone of the rest of the other OTJ stuff I've written. But I decided that it was still pretty much OTJ-qualified material in terms of content. So, here it is – OTJ: Part 23 for your reading (and learning) pleasure. Enjoy.
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Do I want to laugh all the days of my life?
Or do I want to be happy all the days of my life?
Time for some end-of-day thoughts on the matter:
LAUGHTER-inducing love from a man will make a girl voluntarily (or involuntarily – read: uncontrollably) burst into expressions of lively amusement every once in awhile. She laughs, she chuckles, she giggles and she goes tee-hee-hee like a giddy-headed school girl in pigtails, with her hand over her mouth. And sure, it's good fun to laugh and have a funny guy at hand to entertain you for the rest of your days together. (Great fun, even.) But is it really enough in the whole scheme of happily-ever-after? Hmmm. I don't think so.
HAPPINESS-inducing love from a man, on the other hand, is that little something that turns a good relationship into a great one. It's what makes a loved-up girl go 'ooo' and 'ahh' with pleasure and contentment. Ahh, there's that word I was waiting for: contentment. Just what I'm looking for. You see, happiness is the place where total enjoyment is obtained and optimistic hope is retained. Whatever the situation the couple may be thrown into, as long as happiness-inducing love is given (and received), there's always blissful tomorrows to look forward to together.
HAPPINESS-inducing love from a man, on the other hand, is that little something that turns a good relationship into a great one. It's what makes a loved-up girl go 'ooo' and 'ahh' with pleasure and contentment. Ahh, there's that word I was waiting for: contentment. Just what I'm looking for. You see, happiness is the place where total enjoyment is obtained and optimistic hope is retained. Whatever the situation the couple may be thrown into, as long as happiness-inducing love is given (and received), there's always blissful tomorrows to look forward to together.
I may want a man who can make me laugh,
but I need a man who can make me happy.
– pamsong, 12 July 2008
– pamsong, 12 July 2008
Big diff there.
65 comments :
I wonder which one am I, but I'm inclined to the one that can make you happy, you reckon?
=)
You will eventually get both! =)
pam pam pam! i'm a fan of OTJ already! :)
All you need is Ah Beng...
... to fulfill your wants and needs.
You two make a great one-two punch combination and makes a good foil innit? with you as the protagonist.
Is it so hard to get both?
Big diff.. but not that big at all..
hmmmm.. i tot there were many ppl of both abilities..
I agree. Keep the one who makes you happy, and if he is the class clown, that's a bonus. At the end of the day, you need something more than someone who can make you laugh to live through the bad times. Alternatively, find someone who loves you more than you do him - that way, you love him but he makes you his number 1 and that's guaranteed to make you happy :)
A guy who is funny may be an embarrassment to be brought around if he doesn't know when and what jokes can be cracked :P
But contentment? Hmm. That sounds like settling....
I like ur pink quote...
contentment.. sometimes, being too content is not good. but, heck, what else and what more could you ask given happiness.. Not many families has that now.
ATTN: Nigelais
– Heh. Debatable. You're not much of a hahaha joker so maybe yeah. Maybe.
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– Haha. Eventually? Why should I wait?
ATTN: Schmae
– YAY! More to come. =p
ATTN: Anonymous
– Why do I have to be the protagonist between us? And who are you ah? So semangatly support Ah Beng wan?
ATTN: Jeffro
– I think it isn't HARD to get both, but it's not as easy as it seems. Some guys make great jokers but... laughter is temporal. Happiness is deeper. More meaningful.
ATTN: Anonymous
– It's true what you said about needing something more than just someone to make one laugh. It's the happiness factor that tides us through the bad times anyways. And personally, I think that happiness is something only SOME people in your life can give you. Laughter? Even a stranger can make us laugh so there's nothing really substantial to it.
"Find someone who loves you more than you do him."
You know, my grandma used to say that. And oddly, it makes sense. Especially when it comes to girls. Don't mean to be sexist and all but it's usually the men who turn out to be cheating bastards.
ATTN: Resurrected
– "A guy who is funny may be an embarrassment to be brought around if he doesn't know when and what jokes can be cracked."
OMG, that's so true! Malu gila babi sometimes. Haha. I've seen girls who wanted to strangle their partners because of major boo boos and faux pas.
Contentment, you equate to settling?? Why? I mean I guess SOMETIMES it can be just making the best of the situation you're in but here, I've stated that it's a man who can make you contented. Therefore, it's EFFORT on the man's part to bring you that contentment. Settling meh? I'd rather a man who invested his efforts in me than just his money. Rich? So what?
ATTN: Freethinker
– Thanks. =) I like it, too.
ATTN: yapthomas
– I think being content in a fulfilling relationship is good. Feeling contented in a relationship that's unfairly invested into... well, that's not that great. Like another comment said – it's settling for less than you deserve. Fine line.
But it's true. Happiness is SO important in a family. And if there's happiness between the parents, that happiness flows down to the children. If there's none... then it's really sad.
make laugh, and you shall be made to laugh.
make happy, and you shall be made happy.
make love, and you shall be loved.
Think not what you can be given. Think what you can give.
There is a reason why Earth travels in circles. All life is cyclical. Give, and you shall receive.
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Ahhh. Datang lagi deep deep.
Anyway, OTJ is not necessarily meant to be 'fair'. It's expressing how a woman feels about love and relationships and helping men understand our needs better. That's why it's Operasi TRAIN Jantan maaa.
that's the whole point la...
relationship is a two way thing... how to make people see your point of view if you dun treat them 'fairly'?
you express your female thoughts, i think it's fair too that i make some comments from the other side...
not trying to be deep deep, just wanna say that guys are sometimes tired of being given a list of:-
"be this, know this, do this - or else no sex for you tonight"...
as if we come to the table having owed the fairer sex something...
it is not always the girl who invests too much without seeing returns...
tough being a guy too you know...
i respect your writing and your stand as a feminist, and no offense meant...
but if all comments were in agreement then won't be very interesting right?
Train Jantan......*tooot tooot*.... this is the train specifically for males.....hop on lads!!! *toot toot*
So have you found any yet ?
ATTN: PAM
ATTN: Anonymous
– Why do I have to be the protagonist between us? And who are you ah? So semangatly support Ah Beng wan?
Becoz U're the author of Tinki Winky that's why u're the protagonist mah. juz love your artful musings when you're on your creative streak and the silly rantings when the silly bitch in you is out and about, and gets the readers involved in abit of literal sparring.
I shall remain incognito. Aiyah I support ah beng coz of the playful nature that chemistry there...awww.
Dammit juz realized the anonymous identity is disabled...
Hmm.. I wonder which am I.. *pretends that i have long beard like dumbledore - pulling it* oh well, i'll won't know.. YET..
so far found any?
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Then one of you boys should start writing your take on the matter so EDUCATE us in return. I think we're more than happy to understand what men want in their women. And you have to admit... At least we're doing our part to try and make this better.
And no, I don't believe in withholding love as punishment. Sex, hugs, kisses, affection – whatever. Love is to be given without expecting anything in return.
And don't worry. I don't take offense in comments. =p
ATTN: sheon
– Haha. Are you onboard already? =p
ATTN: Charlie
– Heh. No comment.
ATTN: Chris
– HAH!!! GOTCHA! See lah. Pandai pandai ber-anonymous summore lah. Sheesh.
And yes, Ah Beng and I share a special... 'chemistry'. Haha. He's like a sister to me. =p
ATTN: Jeffro
– Well, ideally, you should be both. Ideally lah. But not many men are.
ideally? well ideally is good enough i guess.. for the moment..
Ah beng's ur ji mui now?? Ooo..
pam,
"And you have to admit... At least we're doing our part to try and make this better."
Okay. I admit. Appreciate the effort.
"And no, I don't believe in withholding love as punishment. Sex, hugs, kisses, affection – whatever."
I am SO glad to hear this from you. Not that what you believe in has got any direct impact on me... but there are just so many girls around who use sex as a bargaining chip. This tactic may work for a while... but girls, i must warn you, it also indirectly creates 'cheating bastards'...
hope i don't get hammered for this comment...
fwah... andrew..
so straight ar? LOL
jeff,
straight? as in 'direct' or 'hetero'?
anyway, i'm both...
ATTN: Jeffro
– Yeah! Ah Beng's my ji mui. When I get married, he's going to be on my side of the door, shouting for angpow and bullying the boys. HAHA.
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Haha. So should I be expecting some sort of Train The Females operation soon?
And about withholding love... Well, I'm against it 100%. Cos you're upset with the outcome, the situation or the problematic issue at hand. Tackle the problem and leave the rest of the person alone. No bargaining.
BUT... I have to say that it's sad that men who don't 'get it' from their women find it okay to look for 'it' elsewhere. For goodness sakes, have some dignity. Have some male pride. It's NOT okay to look for love elsewhere. If you're even thinking of looking, LEAVE the relationship. Then only start looking. You've gotta be fair to the person you share a bed with, too. No matter how much you feel like killing her on the inside.
Was that considered hammering? =p No, right?
p/s: Good answer to Jeffro, btw. HAHA.
Andrew:
Hmm.. straight as in tak senget.. kekeke..
Kak Pam:
Ah Beng should read that! lmao!
but errmm.. what will he be wearing then? half-half?
btw.. was wondering.. where did my other comment go? LOL!
"So should I be expecting some sort of Train The Females operation soon?"
No.
"If you're even thinking of looking, LEAVE the relationship. Then only start looking."
This is, of course, true...
But shit happens... That's life, i guess...
ATTN: Jeffro
– Ask him to read? Pfft. He KNOWS! Haha. I made him promise. HAHAHAHA. And he can wear anything he wants lah. I don't really care. Haha. Skirt pun boleh, pants pun boleh, cheongsam pun boleh. Suka hati dia.
And what other comment?
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– See, that's so typical of you guys. You'd rather sit a home and rant, than do something to improve your situation. Tsk tsk.
Oh, and I hate it when shit happens. I think that saying is a lousy excuse to get out of things. Taking it as though it was fate. Cheating on a spouse/gf/bf/partner is fate? Pardon my French but – backside lah.
HAHAHA! Ah Beng's a victim just like ME! I don't know whether or not to congratz him.. =P
I remembered writing something replying Andrew's comment.. IDK.. Either I did not publish it, or the publishing went lost in cyber space..
but nvm.. nothing important.. HEHE
"See, that's so typical of you guys. You'd rather sit a home and rant, than do something to improve your situation. Tsk tsk"
Me not qualified la... I'm a bloody accountant, not a love psychologist... how can i presume to 'train' people...
"Oh, and I hate it when shit happens. I think that saying is a lousy excuse to get out of things. Taking it as though it was fate. Cheating on a spouse/gf/bf/partner is fate? Pardon my French but – backside lah."
Everybody hates it when shit happens la... Even the shitter... And its not an excuse to get out of things... Cos you have to acknowledge the crap b4 u can clear it up... But ok la... never meant to defend the act of cheating... Just trying to say that its tough on all sides... And responsibility should be shared.
ATTN: Jeffro
– Victim??? He luuurrrvvveesss it! =p
I didn't delete any comments so... maybe you tak publish. Haha.
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Ooo. Which accounting firm are you with? In KL ka?
Dun wan disclose here la... Later if say wrong things might reflect badly on my employer... :)
Haha.. i know how he feels.. *ah beng, i feel you* LOL
yea lor i think i din publish it well enough *sigh* Either me, or the internet sux.. LOL
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Eh eh! Sharing is caring!!! EY? PwC? Deloitte?
ATTN: Jeffro
– Sometimes it happens lah. It's very frustrating for me also when sometimes I reply long long already then the page cannot load. Grrr.
i don't mind the cheongsam, but i have short n hairy legs. there might be NO wedding at the end of the night :) lol.
i'll just wear anything that makes me look FABULOUS!!
btw i have a friend who looks gorgeous in a cheongsam (the american breakfast 2 eggs and a sausage kind). lol.
super clever la u... out of the four you had to leave out the one that is semi-correct...
semi because now no longer with them... more of a roaming samurai nowadays...
book-keeping samurai...
count with HONOR...
ATTN: ah:beng
– Yay! Cheongsam it is! Haha. And don't worry about the legs. Your for-show muscles will suffice. =p
And hey, think about it this way: at least you'll have all the guys look at you.
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Haha. Then I know which firm di. =p My friend was there for awhile. Internship. Think it was 2 years ago. Haha.
Anyway, how do you samurai when you're in audit or tax? Or are you a consultant? Partner?
Haih... tried to be vague with the samurai and all that... but failed -_-
no la, me working for the family firm...
duty calls... gotta BE A MAN... do the right thing... ;-)
Yaw! that's quite frequent to me nowadays.. Confirm ini not my fault.. it's the internet.. *sigh* when am i gonna get a decent connection?
LOL@AhBeng! Cheongsam+shortHairyLegs=Fantastic Nightmare.. hahaha
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– No more vagueness!! So which is your family firm? Tee hee. I shall KOREK!
ATTN: Jeffro
– Please tell me you're not using dial-up. -_-
tell u also u dunno la... just a small firm (that still uses dial-up) =p
My 1Mbps = 56++kbps..
TMnut la! *blames 'em*
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– I can always google your company ma. Haha. (And then approach them to advertise on my page. *GRIN*)
ATTN: Jeffro
– Haha. Damn sad case. =p
professional firms can't advertise... some kind of professional ethics thing... sad hor...
that slot for advertisements... i think better u put a picture of yourself there la... and update every week... share your beauty with the world ma...
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– ISSIT?? Dang. =(
And no way I'm replacing that with my pic. I'd rather wait to see if I can earn a little from it. Haha.
yaya... just hold out a little longer... sure got people want... and when one person starts buying it... suddenly everyone will be queuing up for it... Malaysians all super kiasu...
then tinki ads would rule the day eh?
support you all the way :)
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– I hope so lor. Up till now, my email empty. =(
i be ur first customer la... after my project complete...
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Wah! Set lah set! I shall hold you to your word. Haha. Wheee!!!
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– When will you complete your project anyways? Too excited di. =p
Sad case right? Am waiting for WiMax to arrive, then I dunid to bother about TMnut..
eh of cos can hold me to my word... you think i simply release words wan ar? ;-)
but... soonest also will take months... so... wait la...
ATTN: Jeffro
– Wah. You also Wimax supporter ah?
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– Haha. Great! This is exciting. Wheee!
Not really la.. But it's better than streamyx.. ^_^
ATTN: Jeffro
– That's what you're assuming, right? Not necessarily wan right?
Hmm.. Assuming the speed differences that is..
But WiMax is still better, when using it.. Imagine yourself using it almost at anywhere that has its connectivity (within its range), unlike streamyx, you cant load while moving.. but this is rather out of topic..
But seriously, streamyx makes me wanna scream.. SCREAMYX! I nid a connection that makes me happy now.. T_T
ATTN: Jeffro
– If Wimax is faster, I'd definitely go for it. Haha. And yes, using the internet on the go is a very very big plus point for me, too. I travel a lot so it'd be great if I could go online while I'm on the highway, too.
Price will make a difference for me, though. If I have to cough blood and sell a kidney for the service, I'd rather just be online at home and at work.
U definitely got a point there..
No matter how good the service is, the price is still the issue..
That's why Screamyx is still ruling the internet market..
ATTN: Jeffro
– But Streamyx is not THAT cheap wat. Okok only lor. It's still considered a luxury as much as it is a necessity.
Yea i know it's not cheap.. in fact it was never cheap.. looking at the services they give us.. T_T
ATTN: Jeffro
– That's cos they have the luxury of monopoly! Nobody can choose anything else ma. So they set the pricing and determine the market. Wait till other competitors come out with other stuff lah. Then they panic.
Hahaha.. That's why we waiting for WiMax.. the only competitor to shake them up..
Maxis, and others all not doing much..
ATTN: Jeffro
– Ya lor. Maxis broadband sucks lah. Summore got 2GB limit. Pfft. Nonsense lah. And if higher than 5th floor a bit difficult to get signal wan. Terrible.
haha.. Yea.. that I know.. Maxis still not so good at distancing.. My friend has the maxis thing-a-magic..
Not helping at all..
ATTN: Jeffro
– OMG, I just realised I never replied your comment. Haha. Better late than never, no? =p
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