Seemingly Meaningless Conversations Only We Understand

Lately, I've been feeling like I haven't
had much to be happy about in life.

It's like everytime I go out, I just leave myself to run on Auto Mode and I do what I always do. By default. I do what's expected of me. And I put on a mask and play a role. I smile and laugh as people expect me to. And I do it at all the right times. And then I say the right things and crack the right jokes that make other people laugh in response when the situation calls for it.

But then I come home feeling empty.
Alone. Sad. Depressed. And pathetic.

Sigh.

I need something to be happy about.

I want that spark back. That zest for life that somehow died and took with it a part of me. I need that magic I used to feel. That magic I used to have. I need to be enchanted once again. With Life and with all the things that are said to make it as great as is. Because I'm not. Or at least I don't seem to be.

-------------

Pam Song: Awww, how nice. (I can't remember what this was in reference to already. This SMS conversation took place so long ago.) You're venison!

Ah Beng: You're for gra. (Yes, he spelt it this way.) Expensive but unpronounceable. Lol.

Pam Song: Faux pas.

Ah Beng: Faux pas, yo!

Pam Song: *smiles to self*

-------------


I need something to be happy about.
I need a reason. Give me a reason.