Saturday, July 26, 2008

Seemingly Meaningless Conversations Only We Understand

Lately, I've been feeling like I haven't
had much to be happy about in life.


It's like everytime I go out, I just leave myself to run on Auto Mode and I do what I always do. By default. I do what's expected of me. And I put on a mask and play a role. I smile and laugh as people expect me to. And I do it at all the right times. And then I say the right things and crack the right jokes that make other people laugh in response when the situation calls for it.


But then I come home feeling empty.
Alone. Sad. Depressed. And pathetic.

Sigh.

I need something to be happy about.


I want that spark back. That zest for life that somehow died and took with it a part of me. I need that magic I used to feel. That magic I used to have. I need to be enchanted once again. With Life and with all the things that are said to make it as great as is. Because I'm not. Or at least I don't seem to be.


-------------


Pam Song: Awww, how nice. (I can't remember what this was in reference to already. This SMS conversation took place so long ago.) You're venison!

Ah Beng: You're for gra. (Yes, he spelt it this way.) Expensive but unpronounceable. Lol.

Pam Song: Faux pas.

Ah Beng: Faux pas, yo!

Pam Song: *smiles to self*


-------------


I need something to be happy about.
I need a reason. Give me a reason.

4 comments :

ah:beng said...

(story of my life, S04E12)

slut, I typed something, and then hor, I pressed preview instead of publish, so hor, I thought published jor, so hor, I refresh hor, ALL GONE.
KANASAI.

Pam Song said...

Haha. You ah! Nothing ever changes lah. Nothing. Haha. You totally made my day though. Totally. Throughout the day. Even with your regularly random sms'. See ya Monday, Benzies!

Jeffro said...

*Bibbidi bobbidi boo*
*chimes*

Felt anything?

joshuaongys said...

aiseh... come lets come out again!

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