Your One-Stop Guide To The 7-Step/7-Finger Lesson To Taking Pictures (Like A True Bimbo)

I planned to write about this last week so technically, that makes this post waaay overdue but... last week I damn busy, okay. No free time to dedicate to bimbo blogging at all. Just know that all pictures were taken last week while the post itself is 'hot off the press'. Enjoy!

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Okay, so this whole concept of 7-Step/7-Finger Bimbo Photo-Taking is gonna be totally ridiculous. (Don't say I didn't warn you.) But it's also so ridiculously funny that I decided to post it up. Haha. LEARN, young jedi-ress (what in the world do you call a female jedi?!)... LEARN!


NOTE: Do NOT attempt the steps that follow if you haven't mastered the steps you see first. (Whoa. Confusing.) This means, you should NOT attempt Step 2 if you haven't mastered Step 1, should NOT attempt Step 3 if you haven't mastered Step 2, should NOT attempt Step 4 if you haven't mastered Step 3, etc... You get the idea.

Now, let's let the lesson begin!

STEP 1: The Finger To Cheek Stance. Turn so that the camera gets a 45º angle of your face (that's somewhere between your side profile and your front), point at the cheek facing the camera and pull a face. Suka you lah what kind of face you want, okay? You can act cute, buat bodoh or just smile sweetly. It works for almost any look. It should look somewhat like this.

See? So easy. NEXT!!!

STEP 2: The Lala Mui Victory Sign. Hold up two fingers in a 'V' and position it near your face. Most cameras do not come with wide-angle lenses. Plus, if you were even at half the bimbo level I'm at now (yes, I think I've finally reached that level), you'd know that bimbos never, never, NEVER take pictures that do not focus solely on them. So hold your fingers close to your face so that nobody else may ever steal your limelight cos this simple narcissistic technique eliminates the possibility of them ever getting caught on your camera by accident. Do it like so.





STEP 3: The Half-Past-Six Batman Mask. Hold up one hand in an 'OK' sign with three fingers up. (Suka you which hand you want.) Hold that 'OK' sign close to one eye and shut the other. (Almost like you're peeping through an imaginary keyhole.) Right hand to right eye, left hand to left eye. But choose only ONE hand, and close the eye of the opposite side. The equation goes like so: right hand, over right eye, with right eye open and left eye closed... and vice versa. What you want to do with your mouth is up to you. You should look something like this:




STEP 4: The One-Handed Tabik. Imagine a sea scout or marine officer saluting his leader. That's something like the overall look we're going for here with #4. Mimic the hand gesture, but be sure to tone down the psycho-killer-out-on-sea-for-a-hundred-years look with slightly less rigid fingers and a sweet, shy smile. Sort of like this:




STEP 5: The Make-Up-slash-Skincare Model Pose. This pose requires the typical model look – slightly parted lips with a slight smile and intense eyes with a faraway gaze. Cup your chin with one hand with your fingers a few centimeters away from you face, and tilt your head upwards like you're looking towards the sun going down on the horizon. (Che wah, so descriptive lah me. =p)

I have to admit, I didn't quite pull this look off cos
I was trying so very hard not to laugh my head off.
It's so very typically L'Oréal, wei!!! Haha.

STEP 6: The Imaginary Taikor Tai. This is one of the easiest bimbo looks to achieve. Especially since it comes heavily laced with top-notch, first-class lala attitude. You know? It has that attitude. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. You know lah. Just hold up your hand in a tight grip and let loose your thumb and pinky. It'll look like the Hawaiian 'Hang Loose' moto. Can't go wrong with that. Next, place your hand next to your ear like you're talking on a mobile phone. Then smile. Tada! So easy.




STEP 5: The Check-Me-Out-I'm-Cool-Senget-Gun Fingers. Remember those days when you used to 'shoot' your neighbour with your imaginary inside-the-finger gun? Well, that memory is gonna come in handy right about now. Hold up your fingers like it's a gun. (I.e. your thumb facing skywards with your forefinger a.k.a pointer finger at a 90º angle to your thumb.) Then, position it so that it the 'V' of the 'gun' follows the line of your chin like so:

See? Who says childish games are useless. It makes you
a better bimbo when you're all grown up, okayyy!

So there you have it! All 7 steps that fully utilise the 7-Finger Lesson. So easy, right? Master all seven of these easy-to-follow photo-posing steps and you'll be on your way to a lifetime of... uh, do we call it bimbohood? Or is it bimbodom? Sorry lah. Cut me some slack can or not? IQ of 40 now, remember?

The photographer fell asleep on the way back to the office.

EDIT at 0936 hours on 26 March 2008: Reading back on what I wrote and looking at the pictures I took, I really think that I've sold my soul to bimbohood bimbodom. (It's final. I've decided it's gonna be DOM and not HOOD. Sounds a lot bigger in scale than HOOD, don't cha think?)

The bimbo gene is slowly taking over lah.

Like, seriously.

-_-