Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Your One-Stop Guide To The 7-Step/7-Finger Lesson To Taking Pictures (Like A True Bimbo)

I planned to write about this last week so technically, that makes this post waaay overdue but... last week I damn busy, okay. No free time to dedicate to bimbo blogging at all. Just know that all pictures were taken last week while the post itself is 'hot off the press'. Enjoy!


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Okay, so this whole concept of 7-Step/7-Finger Bimbo Photo-Taking is gonna be totally ridiculous. (Don't say I didn't warn you.) But it's also so ridiculously funny that I decided to post it up. Haha. LEARN, young jedi-ress (what in the world do you call a female jedi?!)... LEARN!


NOTE: Do NOT attempt the steps that follow if you haven't mastered the steps you see first. (Whoa. Confusing.) This means, you should NOT attempt Step 2 if you haven't mastered Step 1, should NOT attempt Step 3 if you haven't mastered Step 2, should NOT attempt Step 4 if you haven't mastered Step 3, etc... You get the idea.


Now, let's let the lesson begin!


STEP 1: The Finger To Cheek Stance. Turn so that the camera gets a 45º angle of your face (that's somewhere between your side profile and your front), point at the cheek facing the camera and pull a face. Suka you lah what kind of face you want, okay? You can act cute, buat bodoh or just smile sweetly. It works for almost any look. It should look somewhat like this.




See? So easy. NEXT!!!


STEP 2: The Lala Mui Victory Sign. Hold up two fingers in a 'V' and position it near your face. Most cameras do not come with wide-angle lenses. Plus, if you were even at half the bimbo level I'm at now (yes, I think I've finally reached that level), you'd know that bimbos never, never, NEVER take pictures that do not focus solely on them. So hold your fingers close to your face so that nobody else may ever steal your limelight cos this simple narcissistic technique eliminates the possibility of them ever getting caught on your camera by accident. Do it like so.





STEP 3: The Half-Past-Six Batman Mask. Hold up one hand in an 'OK' sign with three fingers up. (Suka you which hand you want.) Hold that 'OK' sign close to one eye and shut the other. (Almost like you're peeping through an imaginary keyhole.) Right hand to right eye, left hand to left eye. But choose only ONE hand, and close the eye of the opposite side. The equation goes like so: right hand, over right eye, with right eye open and left eye closed... and vice versa. What you want to do with your mouth is up to you. You should look something like this:




STEP 4: The One-Handed Tabik. Imagine a sea scout or marine officer saluting his leader. That's something like the overall look we're going for here with #4. Mimic the hand gesture, but be sure to tone down the psycho-killer-out-on-sea-for-a-hundred-years look with slightly less rigid fingers and a sweet, shy smile. Sort of like this:




STEP 5: The Make-Up-slash-Skincare Model Pose. This pose requires the typical model look – slightly parted lips with a slight smile and intense eyes with a faraway gaze. Cup your chin with one hand with your fingers a few centimeters away from you face, and tilt your head upwards like you're looking towards the sun going down on the horizon. (Che wah, so descriptive lah me. =p)


I have to admit, I didn't quite pull this look off cos
I was trying so very hard not to laugh my head off.
It's so very typically L'Oréal, wei!!! Haha.


STEP 6: The Imaginary Taikor Tai. This is one of the easiest bimbo looks to achieve. Especially since it comes heavily laced with top-notch, first-class lala attitude. You know? It has that attitude. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. You know lah. Just hold up your hand in a tight grip and let loose your thumb and pinky. It'll look like the Hawaiian 'Hang Loose' moto. Can't go wrong with that. Next, place your hand next to your ear like you're talking on a mobile phone. Then smile. Tada! So easy.




STEP 5: The Check-Me-Out-I'm-Cool-Senget-Gun Fingers. Remember those days when you used to 'shoot' your neighbour with your imaginary inside-the-finger gun? Well, that memory is gonna come in handy right about now. Hold up your fingers like it's a gun. (I.e. your thumb facing skywards with your forefinger a.k.a pointer finger at a 90º angle to your thumb.) Then, position it so that it the 'V' of the 'gun' follows the line of your chin like so:




See? Who says childish games are useless. It makes you
a better bimbo when you're all grown up, okayyy!


So there you have it! All 7 steps that fully utilise the 7-Finger Lesson. So easy, right? Master all seven of these easy-to-follow photo-posing steps and you'll be on your way to a lifetime of... uh, do we call it bimbohood? Or is it bimbodom? Sorry lah. Cut me some slack can or not? IQ of 40 now, remember?


The photographer fell asleep on the way back to the office.


EDIT at 0936 hours on 26 March 2008: Reading back on what I wrote and looking at the pictures I took, I really think that I've sold my soul to bimbohood bimbodom. (It's final. I've decided it's gonna be DOM and not HOOD. Sounds a lot bigger in scale than HOOD, don't cha think?)


The bimbo gene is slowly taking over lah.

Like, seriously.

-_-

33 comments :

luxen said...

haiyoh... *roll eyes*

Pam Song said...

ATTN: luxen
– Not bad right, my bimbo training? =p

ting.yeo said...

LOL!! it's alright being bimbotic.. you'll get accustomed to it. plus you're pretty looking, and smart, so i'll say kudos to a smart bimbo :D

luxen said...

This one worst than doing binge drinking, brain cells dying at a faster rate.

*puts one finger in nose*
nah, you forgot this pose.

luxen said...

young jedi's in training are called youngling or initiate.

A Jedi Apprentice is a Padawan and a full fledge Jedi is a Jedi Knight.

Above that, there is Jedi Master, a Jedi who has trained a Padawan to be a Jedi Knight.

A Jedi Grand Master is the most skilled jedi.

Much you have you learn my little grasshopper.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: tINg`
– Haha. Smart bimbo. I kinda like the sound of that. Haha. I think I'll go all smart bimbo from now on. =p


ATTN: luxen
– Haha. Tell me about it, man. My head like very light already. Haha.

I that pose is almost same same as ONE ma. So considered repeat di! Dun spoil my lesson!!!

Uh, and you do realise that that Jedi lesson just totally geeky-fied you, right? =p

sheon said...

i am dumbfounded..... such profound insight.....

yapthomas said...

hail the bimbo -soon to be- queen!

;)

ok lunch time..

Pam Song said...

ATTN: sheon
– Hah! NOW you know the power behind my pink stilettos. Don't play play.

Be amazed!


ATTN: yapthomas
– Wait wait. Soon-to-be bimbo or soon-to-be queen. Very different, you know. Make yourself clear!

Anonymous said...

Haha..Ah Beng so Geng Wan....liddat also can sleep! Hahahaha =)))

Pam Song said...

ATTN: adrian
– Haha. He always liddat wan lah. Haha. See until normal di. =p

sheon said...

i already am. hehe....

hey....why are you so 'red' in the photos one?...from blushing coz shy shy? or somebody's been drinking...? hmmmm...

luxen said...

Tell ah beng to have a look at these photos

http://nicolekiss.blogspot.com/2007/09/think-twice-before-you-drink-again.html

next time, tape him to the ceiling.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: sheon
– Not blushing and not shy lah. It was freaking hot that day, okayyy. Like mad liddat. All of us sitting there like in sauna liddat.

And I don't drink.


ATTN: luxen
– HAHAHA. Will do. I like the one where they shaved his backside. =p Must have been super gross, wei.

luxen said...

if his ass was already that hairy... imagine him using toilet paper. I thing ah, sure not clean one. All left sticking on the hair.

I wish I could see the reaction of the guy who was taped to the ceiling after he wakes up. That would have been so damn funny.

Next time ah beng fall asleep, tape him to his table.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: luxen
– YUCK!!! I so didn't want to imagine that. Eeyer... Why you think of the sai wan??? Phooi!

And I should definitely try it on Ah Beng. Unfortunately, his nap times are restricted to on-the-way-back-from-lunch hours. -_-

luxen said...

A small white rabbit (imagine thumper from Bambi) was just about to shit in the woods when it was surprised by a large bear. The bear said "relax, I'm just looking for a place to shit too".

So both of them when about shitting next to each other. The bear looks over at the rabbit and says "say, does shit ever stick to your fur?". The rabbit takes his dump and looks at its butt and replies "nope, never had that problem".

The bear then promptly grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with it. back and forth, back and forth...

Chee Hoe said...

Hmm, I thought its suppose to be soon to be bimbo but already a queen (self proclaimed too)

Pam Song said...

ATTN: luxen
– Why you so gross wannnn??? I blame YOU for my bout of sleeplessness!!!

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Chee Hoe
– I got a free upgrade when I bought my pink stilettos. =p

Kirsten said...

Pengsan (X4)

i tot i'd never live to see this..

and dei, lu mia numbering suda off

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Kirsten
– Ooo. Proof that it's been awhile since you've dropped by! And where got wrong!?


ATTN: barb michelen
– Spammer?

sheon said...

most definitely...these damn spammers...they should all go to jail and do serious time....

luxen said...

damn, I get these spammers too. I just delete their comments.

bunny goes "aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!"

Pam Song said...

ATTN: sheon
– Ya lor! Why all liddat wan??? But I didn't use to get them, you know? Now only getting more frequent.


ATTN: luxen
– You just wanted a reason to finish your story huh?

sheon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sheon said...

i think it comes with the traffic... :) small price to pay......hehe

its just like song artistes....they would know that they've reached 'it' when they see their bootleg CDs being displayed in petaling street.

Simon Seow said...

Go Bimbo!

luxen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
luxen said...

somewhere out there is a bunny with a stinki stain on its back screaming away
hahahaha

Pam Song said...

ATTN: sheon
– It's cos of the traffic meh? Hmmm. Interesting.


ATTN: Simon Seow
– Ale! Ale! Ale!


ATTN: luxen
– WEI!!! Just before dinner summore! Grrr.

Linora 'Aronil' Low said...

My gosh!!! And you say you are busy!?? :P But i will say interesting use of the hands hahah

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Aronil
– I am, okayyy!!! This was during speedy lunch!

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