[little REMINDER TO SELF: No. Metaphors. During. 7-Day. Policy. Change. Period.]
You know, I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be the person I want to be. I mean, I want to be a good Christian who lives rightly. I want to be a good daughter to Mee and Dee. I want to be a good girlfriend to Ky-Shen. I want to be a good employee to McCann. I want to be a good colleague to the folks who spend every waking hour at McCann. I want to be a good friend to those who're willing to give me their time of day. And eventually, when the time comes, I want to be a good wife and mother to the members of my own family.
But I feel like such a failure in some of these areas. Most, if I'm honest with myself. I fall short in so many ways. Not only am I not 'good' enough, I'm nowhere even near being 'average'. I'm failing at what I do. And I'm failing miserably. It's a painful admission but... it's true. Cos that's the way it feels to me. Right now, and for the past two weeks especially. I just don't measure up. I don't. And no matter how much I try, it just seems like I'm putting myself up for another screw up. And the knowledge of that securely keeps this one thought at the back of my mind...
When will I screw up next?
Countdown: 7 days