Tuesday, August 12, 2008

When You're Gone


(1) This post was actually written late last night. And then my comp crashed and burned. -_- Perfect timing as always. So I ended up having to rewrite it again – darn it, second time round feels different somehow – before posting it up today.



11 August 2008
[Monday Pinks]

Hey you,

I'm here. Right where I've been for the past 7 months of my life. But something isn't right. It feels like something's missing. And then I realise... it's you. You're missing. And this space just isn't the same without you.

Today officially became my first 24-hour work day without you. And boy, oh boy, was it quiet where I was. Now, there are not one, but two empty seats taking up the floor space. Rolling reminders of the company I used to have. (This is making me hate past tense. Sigh.)

I look around and I realise: the walls are bare. Your wall is bare. And for once, your table isn't quite as messy as it always is. Neither is your desktop, for that matter. Our plant now sits on my side of The Cu•bi•cle. With Orange Face resting comfortably on its shoulder. But that's it. All I have are faint reminders of our time together. Heart-warming... but painful at the same time. Because right now, what I have... is nobody but an empty chair.

Nobody to call me names. (Nobody to say I'm calling the wrong names, either.) Nobody to inspire me to talk in fake accents. Nobody to complain that I take years to leave my comp before lunch. Nobody to complain about my vile weight-gain drink. Nobody to fight me for Tune-Of-The-Hour. (Nobody to fight me for David Cook either, for that matter.) Nobody to push me around the office in my chair. (Nobody to bug me to start pushing, too.)

*deep breath*

Nobody to compete for 1st Place when it comes to being the first person out the door. Nobody to share with me stories of ever-growing saliva charts. Nobody to prompt me when it's camwhoring time. Nobody to puff secondhand smoke into my face. Nobody to throw random stuff at me in mock anger. And nobody to take emo walks with me to the car. Nope, now there's nobody. Nobody but me.

Why'd you have to go, Benzies? Why'd you leave? Why didn't you put up a fight? Why didn't you take me with you? Why? All I had left was you. And now... you're gone, too.

So I guess what I have to learn from today's pain is this: Everybody leaves. No matter what they say, no matter who they are. For a better job at a better place, for a happier life ahead, or even to pursue their dreams of opening restaurants or of achieving stardom – whatever. They all leave.

And I'm always the one who gets left behind.

Benzies, promise me one thing:
Go. But don't leave.

Missing my other half (The Slut) of The Cu•bi•cle,
The B*tch



Remember the bloopers. Remember the many faux pas moments. Remember the good times. Remember the laughter. Remember the conversations. Remember the emo sessions. Remember the daily doses of camwhoring. Remember The Cu•bi•cle Speaks.

Remember us.

The following is a complete list of Always U & Me posts in reverse chronological order, right from when The Cu•bi•cle brought us together back on 15 January 2008.
  1. "Main Bayang" Means "Shadow Play" [Friday, August 01, 2008]
  2. Early Morning Verbal Coffee [Thursday, July 31, 2008]
  3. 7 O'Clock [Tuesday, July 29, 2008]
  4. Seemingly Meaningless Conversations Only We Understand [Saturday, July 26, 2008]
  5. X 4D [Wednesday, July 23, 2008]
  6. Single Child Syndrome [Wednesday, July 23, 2008]
  7. Liar On My Right [Tuesday, July 22, 2008]
  8. Stapler Fight!!! [Tuesday, July 22, 2008]
  9. Are You A Boring Office Person? [Wednesday, July 16, 2008]
  10. "Cheap Lunch," He Says [Monday, July 14, 2008]
  11. Old Boy Ah Beng [Wednesday, July 09, 2008]
  12. It's Payback Time [Tuesday, July 08, 2008]
  13. I Have The Best Pronunciation In The World [Tuesday, July 08, 2008]
  14. Killed 'em Brain Cells [Thursday, July 03, 2008]
  15. Let's Do The Boob Jiggy [Tuesday, July 01, 2008]
  16. Chicken? What Chicken? [Thursday, June 19, 2008]
  17. Similar But Worlds Apart [Tuesday, June 17, 2008]
  18. Ah Beng Jeles... Man Boobs To The Rescue!!! [Monday, May 05, 2008]
  19. English Teacher's Son [Friday, May 02, 2008]
  20. If You Can't Banish Pimples, Hide Them [Thursday, April 10, 2008]
  21. Plummeting [Tuesday, April 01, 2008]
  22. I One, You One [Monday, March 31, 2008]
  23. Stupid Pichas Work Wonders [Thursday, March 27, 2008]
  24. Finding Zen On A Thursday [Thursday, March 27, 2008]
  25. Your One-Stop Guide To The 7-Step/7-Finger Lesson To Taking Pictures (Like A True Bimbo) Wednesday, March 26, 2008]
  26. Trial #3: The One(s) That... [Saturday, March 15, 2008]
  27. Ish Ish [Monday, March 10, 2008]
  28. So Very Many Sweetness! [Tuesday, March 04, 2008]
  29. Kena Right, Left, Center [Friday, February 29, 2008]
  30. Ah Lean Today Become Green Green [Wednesday, February 20, 2008]
  31. Limited Edition!!! Book Ah Beng For One Night Only!!! [Thursday, February 14, 2008]
  32. Ah Beng Is Lame [Monday, February 11, 2008]
  33. He Does No Work [Thursday, January 31, 2008]
  34. I'm Not The Only Addict [Tuesday, January 29, 2008]
  35. Cu•bi•cle Resolution [Tuesday, January 29, 2008]
  36. Bleeding Love [Friday, January 25, 2008]
  37. Hygieia Got An Upgrade [Thursday, January 24, 2008]
  38. Partners, You And I [Tuesday, January 22, 2008]
  39. My Name Is Hygieia [Friday, January 18, 2008]
  40. Thumb-Wrestling [Wednesday, January 16, 2008]
  41. Taking Sides = Take Him To Your Side... PLEASE? [Wednesday, January 16, 2008]
  42. Breakfast - The Most Important Meal Of The Day [Wednesday, January 16, 2008]
  43. Cu•bi•cle [Tuesday, January 15, 2008]

Always U & Me, yeh?


Us looking waaay hot in sunnies. And getting
very carried away with our props. As always.

Wrong. In more ways than one. But still so right.

The good ol' days of brainstorming at the balcony
while appreciating the sunset and a nice cuppa.

I always knew you found me devilishly delish. =)

Appreciating the last rays of sun by playing... Bond girls?
Charlie's Angels? Ah, who cares? We had fun.

Lame Vs. Whatever. Lame wins. Hands down.
Or up. Depending on how literal you wanna be.

Ni A. Wei Shen Mo Xue Hua Yu Xue De Zhe Mo Man?

Love this pic of you. =)

Living up to your name. As always.

I don't know what you were doing. Haha.

That should have been Voodoo Doll.

Breakfast of champions and my power-up drink.

I still think that jam is vile.

Nobody else I know snaps their own pics
and closes their eyes when they do it. =p

Benzie pegang tetek.

Together, we can do it! HOO WAH!

Slutting it up in the backseat.

All dressed up. For once. Me especially. Haha.

Love the lighting in this one. So glamour.
And if you ever find Helvetica, I want it.

I love, love, love this pic of us. You look like a hot model here, Benzies! And even though you said I could crop you out, I didn't. One for all, all for one, alrights? =)

Your PRE-pee face.

Your POST-pee face.

Our very first project together. Ever. Feels like it was yesterday. Oh, how time flies. Has it really been a year since?

Our first project together in our new workspace. We even
came back during the weekend for it. So semangat.

Your way of telling me you love me. =)


Artist: Avril Lavigne
Song Title: When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other, out here forever
I know we were (Yeah, yeah)
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me (Yeah)

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

Me hearts you, Benzies.
But damn it, why'd you make me go all emo?
You know I can't deal with emo at emo hour. =(


yapthomas said...

I think I saw Ah Beng at jalan 1234 selling DVD lor...


sigh.. i need to find a good sidekick in the office too.. but now, my sidekick pregnant pulak.. -___-

pamsong said...

ATTN: yapthomas
– Sucks not to have a sidekick. ='(

wEtwEtwAtEr said...

Awww... Looks like Pam is gonna have solo lunch from now on. I feel for you girl!

JenKin Yat said...

wtf..i thought so and so left u wtf..
btw..both of u were so camwhorish..i wonder why he's not your bf wtf >.<

take cares..

pamsong said...

ATTN: wEtwEtwAtEr
– Nah. No solo lunches for me. Just a very quiet, very lonely Cu•bi•cle. =(

ATTN: JenKin Yat
– We always wondered why he wasn't my bf, too. =p

Linora 'Aronil' Low said...

you whenever you post something like that.. i'm first hit with shit.. and then before i click on the link... wait.. i know this girl it's usually something thats not what it seems most of the time :P

Don't make me think otherwise la!!!!! And don't worry la.. I know you guys won't see as much as before.. which was practically everyday.. but there is always the phone :)

pamsong said...

ATTN: Linora 'Aronil' Low
– Haha. But but... that's what I do! Stop judging me for it. Haha. You know you love it anyways. =p

And damn it, I miss Benzies. =(

- nithya - said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pamsong said...

Haha. I know it was you so you might as well just fess up. Plus, nobody else I know calls me Song. =p

iliathelvenstar said...

Pam babes!

Where did Ben Nen Nen go???

But yeah... I know exactly how you feel. My commiserations!

And yes, I do lurk around your blog from time to time just to sort of catch up on the ex-employer.

Cheer up and give us that big sunshiny Pam Song smile! Hugs.


pamsong said...

ATTN: iliathelvenstar
- DEE!!! Me misses yeeewww! You must have spoken to Broccoli. Haha.

Ben? He cabut lari lintang pukang already lo. =(

Jeffro said...

OMG.. *sobs a lil.. feels emo now*
he left? T_T
he no say goodbye to me also.. >.<

but serious.. the camHo duos' pi-cha are Nice!
i reli like the one with both of u in front of an artwork..

pamsong said...

ATTN: Jeffro
– Yeah, I'm sad and emo by the loss, too. =(

I just think that we camwhore perfectly together. Dunno why also. But I'm not complaining.

- nithya - said...

There was a spelling mistake la. And I know I never hear the end of it from you. = p

I love you my beloved Cabbage. You're the only cabbage in the world I like. Don't be sad. =)

Just Jasmine said...


choco said...

why do you make me emo?


Chris said...


how am i gonna write Comic Relief from now on if you, one of the foil is no longer there? There's JC and Porky Tart... but they dont make much comments do they, and dont feature in the Pubicle as often?

So, here are some songs dedicated to Benzene. As we all know by now, that Tinki has questionable musical taste, but that's fine becoz, here, I shall make amends on her behalf.

1) Queen - My Best Friend (appropriately the video is from Will&Grace).

2) Sarah Brightman - Memory, a sentimental song for a send off.

3) Barney the Dinosaur theme song - that childish fun song for a send off.

4) Lastly, Puff Daddy's I'll be missing you - a tribute song for a send off.

Jeffro said...

Oh man.. at least u have a camHo partner..
Me had to be solo..
no acquaintance... T_T

Dun worry, he'll be back
*nods head*

Adrian Lim said...

Ooikk! mana Ah Beng lari?! GO to Singapore ah to make show ahh?! =P

pamsong said...

ATTN: - nithya -
– Haha. I know. =p And babi, I'm not Cabbage lah. Cabbage was Siek!!! (I think. @_@)

ATTN: Just Jasmine
– Thanks. =)

ATTN: choco
– Cos Ah Beng made me emo. Boo.

ATTN: Chris

Melampau. Ini betui betui melampau. And Benzie and I have our own Top 20. (Serious.) No need for Barney's to join the club. Haha.

ATTN: Jeffro
– Ya lor. But I HAD a camwhore partner. Past tense. Me no likes past tense. =(

ATTN: Adrian Lim
– !?! Make what kind of show???

Chris said...

pard' me, music not musical;

But its betui betui true, ok how bout bland instead? , and i bet your Top 20 has a Celine Dion's titanic song in it. errr juz joking.

Aww, c'mon, Beng can dress up as Barney and dance around silly in it, with u hand-in-hand. LOL

Jeffro said...

hmmm.. ever heard that a lost means a gain later on?

so u HAD a partner.. n u will HAVE a partner.. ^_^ future tense.. N.I.C.E

pamsong said...

ATTN: Chris
– Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On? Oh, gag me silly, please? -_-

And Ah Beng and I don't need a purple suit to dance ourselves silly. =p We do it all the time. Haha.

ATTN: Jeffro
– But I miss THIS partner! ='(

Jeffro said...

*sniff sniff*

He'll be Back..
*nods head*
if not, go hunt him back..
this time put a lock on him..

pamsong said...

ATTN: Jeffro
– I can't hunt him back. =( Hunt him back for me? *puppy dog eyes*

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