THE PREFERRED TIMELINE:
Courting Period: 3 – 6 months
Exclusive Dating: 1 year 6 months
Engaged To Be Wed: 9 months – 1 year
I know. I'm pretty fast (I think) compared to many other people in this day and age. =p Not because I'm in such a hurry to tie myself down, but because I just don't believe in dating aimlessly for years and years on end.
The most intimate discoveries of the person you're with should be done within the parameters of marriage. You don't necessarily have to know EVERYTHING about the person you're committing yourself to. (I may be shooting myself in the foot for saying this.) We grow as individuals on a daily basis so 'everything' is subjective anyways.
What you MUST know prior to marriage are these:
Courting Period: 3 – 6 months
Exclusive Dating: 1 year 6 months
Engaged To Be Wed: 9 months – 1 year
I know. I'm pretty fast (I think) compared to many other people in this day and age. =p Not because I'm in such a hurry to tie myself down, but because I just don't believe in dating aimlessly for years and years on end.
The most intimate discoveries of the person you're with should be done within the parameters of marriage. You don't necessarily have to know EVERYTHING about the person you're committing yourself to. (I may be shooting myself in the foot for saying this.) We grow as individuals on a daily basis so 'everything' is subjective anyways.
What you MUST know prior to marriage are these:
- Religion
- Family background
- Character (plus points and flaws)
- Habits (destructive and constructive)
- Personality (DISC)
- Ideals
- Values
- Morals
- Beliefs
- Principles
- Priorities in life
- Goals (short and long term)
- Approach to platonic relationships (friendship)
- Approach to romantic relationships (love)
- Approach to marriage
- Approach to life in general
- Approach to gender equality (or inequality)
- Approach to handling problems (crisis management)
- Approach to handling stress (frustrations)
- Approach to conflict resolution
...and to see if you can visualise a good mesh-up between
what's important to them and what's important to you.
what's important to them and what's important to you.
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THE PREFERRED AGES:
22 years of age: Dating exclusively
24 years of age: Engaged
25 years of age: Married
28 years of age: First child
32 years of age: Second child
36 years of age: Third (and last) child
Shit. So not going to happen. I think it's time I sat down to rework the plan. (Never even realised I had a plan till now, wei. Dang. -_-)
20 comments :
my goodness.......you had a plan? *faints*
ATTN: Dillon
– Haha. That's why. I never realised I had a plan. =p Not till I sat down to write this post. Haha. Never considered everything in a timeline or by age. At least not in such detail. Haha.
i had a plan too...but cannot pakai at all!! hahaha.......
but getting married at 25??...for me its a tad early.....my ideal for guys is about 28-32......for gals 28-30
Haha I wanna have 2 kids before I turn 30, but only after at least2 years of blissful marriage. That means I must get married by 26...
Oh, and I think most girls secretly have their own version of this plan :P
ATTN: sheon
- Haha. It happens. =)
And I think that 25 for girls isn't all that bad. Don't forget about the baby-making, okay? We're ticking.
And come on lah. If you wanna get married by 32 latest, and your girl ideally wants to get married by 30 latest, then... if she's younger than you lebih than 2 years, you kantoi already lah!
ATTN: The Faux Fashionista
– 2 years per child? Hmmm. I guess that would work out. My problem is that I want more than 2 years per kid. That's why the rush, too, I guess.
And yes, I agree. Most girls will have at least some idea of when they want their lives to fall into place.
What you MUST know prior to marriage are these (in addition to your list):
Marital status
Sexual Orientation
Line of Work
Favorite Football Team (if same with you, can save on memorabilia, only have to buy for one team)
City intended to settle down in (can be a big problem if different)
Number of children wanted
Which set of parents to stay with (if any)
Who pays for the mortgage
Preferred holiday destinations
Preferred shopping activity (bookshop, shoe shop, supermarket?)
Preferred car
Preferred neighborhood (link house, condo, apartment? Suburbs, city centre?)
Preferred weekend activities (sleeping in, going to pubs, shopping, fishing, watching football?)
These stuff are not as deep as your considerations, but may lead to 'small cuts that hurt'...
you have a preference for children's gender?
you have a destructive habit of sleeping very late. heh. posted at 4:06am ha.
comprehensiveness!!
I wish i had a plan too!! -__-
I have a plan.
But I've got this gut feeling that it won't work out as perfectly. Boo, I blame life. ><
ARGH!!! I replied all your comments and my Firefox crashed before I got to publish. ROAR!!!
ATTN: Andrew Chua
– You're right. That's not the end of the list. There are many more criteria where those came from lah. BUT... come on. Marital status and sexual orientation?? Hello. Mesti tau sebelum even start dating right??? No need to even wait before marrying. -_-
"City intended to settle down in (can be a big problem if different)"
This is so true. If you both don't have the same destination in mind, you're already heading in different directions. Literally.
"Which set of parents to stay with (if any)"
I'm, uh, not a big fan of living with the folks after marriage actually. Not because I don't like the company. (I am VERY close to my parents.) But because I believe that the only way a man and a woman can discover themselves within marriage is without the covering of family. Then only can a man step up and be THE MAN OF THE HOUSE and the woman can step up and be the WOMAN OF THE HOME. See?
"Preferred weekend activities (sleeping in, going to pubs, shopping, fishing, watching football?)"
Ooo. This is a biggie, too. Much too underplayed by people these days. If you can't chill together, how can you last a lifetime together?
And another thing is when you want to settle down. If one believes in marrying at 30 and the other believes in marrying at 18, then susah lah.
ATTN: sphyrez
– Hmmm. Not really. It's not really a controllable factor anyways.
ATTN: JYJL
– Haha. Can't help it. My brain blogs best when it's half dead. =p
ATTN: yapthomas
– Haha. THEN START WORKING ON ONE! It doesn't take that long. Mine took just 10 minutes out of my day to write and publish this post. Haha. Much as we don't admit it, we have ideals in our heads already wan. It's just a matter of putting it into words.
ATTN: Schmae
– Haha. You and me both, babe. =)
I blame boys. WAHAHAHAHA.
Haha...Mine one will be late but running at fast mode.....
23-29: Get Masters, career & characters building...=P
30: Get dating...
31: Get engage....
32: Get marriage
33: Or..eh...Or...eh....1st child
34: Or..eh..Or..eh....2nd child
35: Or...eh..or..eh...3rd child
36: Production floor stops....=P
only three meh??? i tot u wanted a football team !!
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– WAH!!! Like super fast mode lor! Crazy stuff. And you sure you want 3 kids one at a time ah? You sure headache man. And expenses will be crazy. You got no family planning wan ah?
ATTN: zecount
– I personally would be happy with 2 if one's a boy and one's a girl. But since no guarantee, I'm giving it a leeway of 1 baby. No more. I never wanted a football team lah. My then bf was the one who wanted banyak banyak anak wan.
Haha....an average expenses for 1 child/mth is about 1K. So if got 3 kids = 3K/month lor....must factor that into the income capability when the 3rd one comes out la....
By the time Im 56, 1st child (23), 2nd child (22), 3rd child (21)....
And hehe....my job after that will be part time researcher and full time 'tax-collector'! Wahahaha! Syok or not this plan....=)))
onli 1 k ??? adrian u..need to rework ur maths man .. u're not factoring in the fact that THEY GROW UP which also means extra spending lah
eh tinki ... if all guys or all girl how???
Zecount: hahaha....tat is the calculation for children under 5 years old la...I forgot to mention.
And yes as they grow they will demand this la that la....can easily go up to 2K per head/per month plus inflation rate...
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– Haha. Adrian kena. =p
And you siao ah? One year one? You will kantoi wei. Why you no family planning wan??? By the time your kids go off to college and uni, you sure suffer like hell. Especially in your oldest child's senior year.
Your plan? No syok. Sure die.
ATTN: zecount
– Then... TRY AGAIN! Hahahaha. (Easier said than done, eh? =p At least the PROCESS ain't too bad, no? *grin*)
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