Operasi Train Jantan: Part 22

It's back! Jeng jeng jeng.

Men of all ages (read: boys included), social backgrounds, locations, creeds, cultures and colours, be prepared to be educated in...

THE ART OF GIFT-BUYING
FOR YOUR WOMAN!

(Just admit that most of you are just losers when it comes to this lah, okay.)


So, without much further ado,
let's let the lesson begin!

1. Get her something she will like. Quite basic, right? But it's not as easy. First, you need to have sufficient knowledge of her tastes, likes and dislikes. If you don't have that knowledge, boys, it's time to learn about your woman. Study her preferences and purchases. Pay attention to what she says and make mental notes of the things that catch her eye. Open your eyes. (It helps if you bother going shopping with her once in awhile. Plus, it'd totally make her day.) And don't just hear,... LISTEN! (I know many girls who 'tip' their boyfriends off before special events. I don't like the whole idea of it but... whatthehew. I'm just tellin' ya what I know.)


2. Never get her something you WANT her to like. I mean, hello. What for you get her something YOU like? (Unless both of you have the fab fortune of having the same tastes every time lah.) It's her on the receiving end, right? So what matters is not what YOU want, but what SHE wants. Plus, why you wanna change her? If she likes chunky Ah Lian bracelets, you buy her chunky Ah Lian bracelets lah! It's that Ah Lian you fell in love with in the first place, right??? So why can't she be Ah Lian now?!


3. Get her something she won't get herself. Not because she wouldn't like having it, but because she either (1) can't afford it, or (2) refuses to part with her money cos she feels it's not worth spending money on it though she likes the thing to bits. Women are that way sometimes. We obsess over the things we like but end up not making the purchase *heartache* cos we know we'll eventually feel bad for spending money on girlie stuff that'd make us insanely happy... and totally broke at the same time. -_-


4. Get her something she wants but can't find. I know it can irritate you boys when you see how ridiculous our girlie wants, whims and fancies may sometimes be but... take my word for it, this gift-buying method will score you killer points with your girl! It just shows us that you'll go anywhere and look far and wide just to make us happy. Effort matters! More effort = more points. It's as simple as that. If she wants a hairband that can only be found in Egypt, YOU GET HER THAT HAIRBAND! (Ebay if you have to lah, okay. Not that difficult, right?)

5. Get her something from every place you visit. It's sweet to do so. Responsible, in fact. Cos it shows her that you thought of her even when you weren't physically together. It's very affirming. =) And it's nice being reaffirmed when you and your partner aren't physically together, right? But all the rules of gift-buying apply ya. Get her something SHE will like. And not something you WANT her to like.


6. Get her something you know she'd like but the thought of it hasn't crossed her mind yet. Sorry guys, this option is only applicable if you really know your woman well. Haha. To break it down for you, take this simple example. Say, you know your girl's a music lover. And though she's never really WANTED an iPod, you know that if she had it, she'd be ecstatic with joy. That kind. Not that difficult if you take time to get to know your girl well and pay attention to her interests.


7. Don't buy her something, MAKE her something. Like I said in #4, effort counts. Draw her a card. Stick figures also nevermind. Draw her portrait. Even if she looks like a cow, she'll close one eye and smile like her life depended on it. Write her a song. Even if nothing rhymes and you sing off key, she'll love it all the same... and love YOU even more! Women are just shallow that way, okay. No kidding. Just be glad that our shallowness works to your benefit.


8. Get her something nobody else will be eligible to get her but you. This is where you take full advantage of your boyfriend/husband card. Either (1) get her something so expensive that no Tom, Dick or Harry would ever buy for just a regular female friend, or (2) get her something so intimate and explicit that nobody else other than her partner would dare get her (for fear of offending her or sending the wrong message lah). Do this and you won't even have to worry that somebody else may get her the same thing! How cool is that? Fail-proof plan. This is really gift-buying made simple lor.


9. Get her TWO gifts. A fake one and a real one. This wan, we play strategy already. Get her something nice but... not that great. Let her pretend to ooh and ahh (yes, we do it all the time when we're disappointed with what we get) over your fake gift. Then its YOUR turn to pretend that the surprise is over, and that the night will carry on with nothing else special in store. Then, before you send her home, while you're saying your goodbyes, hand her your second gift – the REAL gift. I guarantee you it'll swoon her over. GUARANTEE! Girls fall for this all the time. Too bad not enough guys know this technique. They always stop at the first (fake) gift. -_-


10. Get her something EVERY GIRL will like. A blank cheque. Flowers. (Any girl who says she doesn't like flowers is a liar.) Bling. (Read: diamonds. But make sure you know her taste in jewellery before going on the hunt. Very expensive to make a mistake with this gift.) A credit card. A spa/manicure/pedicure voucher. (Mmm. Nice.) Uh, teddy bears? (Yuck. I am so not a teddy person. *shiver*) Whatever the case, this option should be your LAST resort. Not your first. (Don't think I don't know what you're thinking, you lazy buggers who don't wanna think about what your girl REALLY wants.)

So there you have it. 10 easy-to-follow steps to buying the perfect gift for your woman. May there be many more happy women out there from today onwards. Haha. It feels like I've done my bit for humanity. *beams*

p/s: Was kiddin' with the 'blank cheque' and 'credit card' comments, okay. But... some girls are like that lor. That's why you guys have to berjaga-jaga, keep your eyes open and your wallets out of sight, okay? But let's leave that 'Sniffing Out Wanita Gila Wang' lesson for another post altogether. Cheers! =)

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Read Operasi Train Jantan: Part 1, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 2,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 3, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 4,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 5, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 6,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 7, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 8,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 9, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 10,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 11, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 12,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 13, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 14,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 15, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 16,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 17, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 18,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 19, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 20,
and Operasi Train Jantan: Part 21 (these came before this part)
to learn more about what women really want.