TALK! Or Not To Talk?

Was having a girlie chat with a colleague yesterday. (Yes, girls do it all the time. Deal with it.) This time, the topic of discussion was: Communication between people. Partners, especially. Life partners, specifically.


After a long debate that lasted the whole of 5 minutes (in spite of what you've been brought up to believe about women, we don't talk that much that long), we came to a single-minded conclusion. We both realised and agreed that if we didn't communicate with our loved ones throughout the day (or at least at every half-day mark), we ended up not telling our partners anything about our days.


Not that there's not thing worth telling or that we're hiding anything, okay. It's just that... we just end up not bothering cos the thought of 'going through' the whole day again is tiring in itself. After all, it's already been a long day at work. (And I'm already bringing work home half the time. -_-) So do we really need to bring the idea of work home, too? It gets tiring having to go through the bad stuff over and over again (self-bashing of sorts?) verbally, no?


And personally, I realise that I'm that way, too. Unless I share my joys and rants while I'm experiencing it and while I'm in the moment, I don't much bother revisiting those feelings I had once again. Takkan I leave it all behind already then I go back and dig up those stories again, right? It's like blogging. Saved drafts don't pack a punch for me cos by the time I plan to finish writing my post, I'm already itching to start another. And it doesn't help that I'm no longer in the mood or caught up in the moment.


Plus, when you really think about it, unless you're still seething inside, you've already pretty much dealt with everything you need to deal with and gotten over everything you need to get over. Right? All emotions, good and bad, have already been released.

But that's not the best of things.

My reason for saying so being the fact that we've already gotten over things by ourselves and/or with the help and support of those around us. Meaning, WITHOUT the help of our partners. Tell me now... How is this a good thing?


Your partner should be your greatest support. The one you most want to turn to in times of need and trouble. The one you most excitedly want to share your joys and happiness with. But being in different locations, working in different companies and not being by each other 24/7 doesn't help built healthy communication between partners/spouses.


But then again, when you think about it and assess what I've said earlier from a different point of view altogether, it makes perfect sense to work in different companies and not be with one another 24/7. You get more time to yourselves, you have time to build and invest in healthy friendships with the people around you, and you get to focus on the less lovey-dovey, mushy-smushy parts of your life (like ministry, work or studies). Plus, you'll have more stories to tell one another when you do meet or talk!

Wait a minute. So what now???

One minute, the proximity and closeness
is good; and another minute, it's bad.

So here's the secret: Don't work in the same company. Don't stick like glue to one another. Give each other room to breathe. Room to grow. But keep in touch or beware for one may end up growing faster than the other. Space in a relationship is good. Healthy, even! As is constant communication.

But the clause is this...

Both space and constant communication have to compliment each other, and they there's a need for them to be injected into the relationship in moderation. In short, too much space is bad, but too much constant communication is just as bad.


So how? So, don't stick to one another. But keep in touch and update each other every once in awhile. It's healthier for your relationship. =)

There you have it.
Pam Song the great psychologist has spoken.
And she says, "Peace out. Goodnight."

p/s: It's been a long while since I've had the chance to post my thoughts. Thoughts that aren't sparked off by fiery rants or haywire emotions. Haha. I should so do this more often.