Rapture

*hands shake*

It happened... and I got left behind.
Everyone got taken away. Everyone but me.

*heartbeat flounders*

No, I can't not make it. I just can't.
I don't want to get left behind.

Fact: I know that my God loves me more than anything. He loved me enough to send His only begotten Son, Jesus, who died on the cross for me in a far from glamorous death.

I don't doubt it. He loves me.

But do I love Him enough to make the cut?

Sigh.

I thought I did. But do I really?

*tear*

I saw it. I felt it. But I didn't make it. I felt firsthand what I'd feel if it all came to pass. I don't want to feel that way again. Much less in real life. But will the extent of my love for Him be ENOUGH? Will it suffice? When does Enough equal With-Everything-I've-Got-And-Am?

Sigh.

I'd fail Add Math over and over again
if it'd spare me from failing when it counts.

I can't afford to fail. Not at Rapture.