Voraciously Gargantuan

I've been blog surfing the last couple of weeks. Just to see what other people write about daily. (You have no idea what people actually write about these days, man!!! Culture shock for me kau kau.) And to gauge what their blog traffic is like based on the nature of their posts and their writing styles.

I discovered something in the course of my research:
It doesn't pay to sound intelligent in your posts.

Bloggers who write diary-like posts in English that would shame QEII should just quit doing what they do. Many of these people turned out with the least readers and comments.


Firstly, there's the diary factor. (The one where people recap what they've done throughout the day with no purpose whatsoever.) I mean, if you wrote something topical and dissected the topic with bombastic words relevant to your post, then it's okay lah. That's just the use of jargons to aid understanding of the topic you're discussing. I'd understand. BUT if you use big words for the sake of appearing smart IN YOUR PERSONAL ONLINE DIARY, you might as well make it really personal and block the rest of us out. We don't wanna know how repast was with your confidantes. (That means supper with your friends.)


Stop writing like you type with a Dictionary in one hand and a Thesaurus in another, okay. Nobody really cares if you term 'people' as homo sapiens or that you are able to replace 'guilt' with compunction. Big words are overrated. Plus, it's time you got the bottom line, that is this: NOBODY CARES. It just irritates me no end when writers do it. Especially so when they put big, smart-sounding words to the wrong use!

*slaps forehead*

Hello, if you don't know the usage of the word
and don't even understand what it means,
don't use it lah!!!

*heaves heavy sigh*

You just succeed in proving to the rest of Cyberworld that: -

1) Your command of the English Language is beyond pathetic.

2) You're a Great Pretender who's pretending (keyword, keyword, keyword) to be what he/she is not.

3) You've got such lousy sense of self and low self-esteem that you find the need to hide behind a mass of big words when you blog for a faceless bunch of readers. We all don't know you lah! Do you think we care that you managed to spell the word 'recalcitrants'!? (That's people with an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority or discipline, if you didn't know.)


Anyway, intelligence is not what sells with the hosts of blog readers these days. No, no. We not that smart lah, okay. Don't kid yourself. Plus, with all those big words floating around, you kinda lose us along the way. It makes reading damn difficult loh. See also sien.

So what sells? Humour does.

And it does it whilst using
a hundred times less brain power.

Plus, if you didn't know, getting jokes and understanding sarcasm does require a certain degree of intelligence. Just check out the comments in this post and you'll see what I mean. Some people don't even get hints of sarcasm you think they'll get your full-fledged, super-power, Qxford Dictionary 'palaeopallium' ah?! (And that's a phylogenetically older portion of the pallium of the brain, which comprises mainly the pyriform lobe.) Please lah. Just give it up.


So go easy with the big words, alright? Most of us read blogs to escape the hard-hitting pulses of every-day life and responsibilities of the working world. We'd like to do it without having to turn to dictionary.com for help while we blog-surf. Thank you.