Hope Is The First Step On The Road To Disappointment

In an effort to prepare the full programme for our wedding day, I've had to sit down with the coordinator and painstakingly work out exactly what happens where and when and with who. Midway through our discussion, she turned to me and asked, "Any surprises? Maybe from him to you or from you to him or something like that?" Hmmm... A surprise would be nice. But I thought about it for awhile and gave her a vague non-answer in response since... well, I'm only half of the equation and I wouldn't know if he's got any plans up his sleeve.


We wrapped up our meeting soon after and parted ways. But all the way home, I wondered: Could it be? Could there possibly be a surprise in store for me on my wedding day? I mean, it's not like the proposal was a tear-jerker in any way or anything already. (Which he later apologised for the lack of effort on his part – no dinner, no date, no surprise, no flowers, no speech, not even a kiss. -_-''') So... could it be that he's going to make up for all that blah with something at least a little yay-ish for our wedding?? =D

That, I thought to myself all through dinner and all the way home.

And then, I made the biggest mistake of all – I began to hope.

But I didn't plan on telling or asking The Fiancé about it. Until he asked how the meeting went. And somehow, the question slipped. (Subconscious at work, maybe. :-/) I informed him about what would happen on our wedding day and updated him on all the changes discussed earlier. Then I told him that if there was anything special that was to happen on our wedding day, he would have to inform the coordinator so she can work it into the programme and inform the necessary parties affected or involved. Without even thinking twice, he said:

"No lah, got nothing."

And to tell you the truth, I just couldn't help but feel a little saddened by his offhanded and emotionless, "No lah, got nothing," response to me. I mean, no woman really wants to consciously and actively compare her partner to anyone else or anything but... the more I think about it, the more I begin to see that my friend was right all along when she said:

"Hello, Ms Song!!! What happened to your picture perfect wedding le? Must push him a lil la...even *insert name of The Fiancé's older brother* sings for his bride. Where can like that wan? Everything also no eh. If it's *insert name of friend's fiancé*, I will mogok till gila lo. But who knows rite, maybe he will sing for you? I am surprised that you actually gave in a lot for him lo." – Friend

Yup. Even his more serious, non-singer older brother very romantically sang "Making Memories Of Us" by Keith Urban as a surprise for his blushing bride on their wedding day. Is it too much then for me to hope against hope that there would be something special for me to look forward to from my more PR-able, guitarist-pianist-singer-musician husband-to-be, too? Sigh.


Well, as it turns out, it is too much to hope for. "No lah, got nothing," he says. So, for our upcoming wedding I should really stop hoping and start preparing my heart for what will be no less blah than our engagement. Something to the likes of "no dinner, no date, no surprise, no flowers, no speech, not even a kiss." =(