Big-Day Things People Say That I'll Never Get

Throughout my journey of wedding planning, I have often been told to stress less, do less and basically just care less. Why? "Cos it's just a wedding," they say. "It's the marriage that counts," they add. Well, to be honest with you, I don't get that logic. I don't get it one bit.

Let me ask you one thing:

Does putting in more effort into planning my wedding

mean I will put in less effort later in my marriage?

How does the correlation work? And since when is there a cap on effort invested anyways? Effort is infinite. Limitless. Something we can never run out of as long as we keep at what we're doing wholeheartedly. So why is it assumed that if I put in more effort planning the wedding now, I'll have less effort leftover to put in later when I'm neck-deep in my marriage?


You know what could be a parallel example of how ridiculous this take on Wedding Effort vs Marriage Effort is? Well, it's like saying a mother only has a predetermined amount of love to offer her children. If she loves her first child with all her heart, that's it for the second child who's had the "misfortune" of being born later. Too bad for him or her but... there just won't be any extra love left to go around.

Now, doesn't that sound ridiculous?

And when it comes to Wedding Effort vs Marriage Effort, my argument is this: Begin by considering the fact that we're all creatures of habit with ingrained character and personality traits that don't quite change after we reach a certain age, ok? So, having said that, isn't it only fair to assume that a lazy bride-to-be who couldn't give a rat's ass about planning her own wedding well... will also be a lazy wife later in her marriage who just couldn't give a rat's ass about her family and household, too?? Makes sense right? Old habits die hard!

Now, let me ask you this:

Isn't it fair to say that if I would put a lot of effort now

in what is deemed just a wedding to some, I would also

put in a lot of effort when it comes to my marriage later?

I don't know about you but I personally think I make sense. And come on... frankly speaking, what's wrong with me wanting to make sure my wedding goes well anyways? How is this investment of effort on my part considered a bad thing?? Seriously! I think it's so unfair when people judge me for doing my best to ensure that things go well during the wedding. And if anything, putting in lots of effort now DOES NOT suggest that I'll put in less effort later on after the wedding. In fact, IMHO, I think it works the other way around.


So... my take on the matter? Stop picking on the hard-working, conscientious bride-to-be. Last I checked, being hard-working is not a crime. Neither is being conscientious. In fact, I've heard they are good traits to have in a person. Plus points, if you may. So leave me alone and go watch out for the fiancée who puts in a half-arsed effort in planning her wedding instead. Mark my words, that woman will be the one with the highest possibility of becoming the wife who would carry a half-arsed attitude into her marriage later on.


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Luke 16:10a
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"Whoever can be trusted with very little
can also be trusted with much."
– New International Version (NIV)
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