I'm looking into the face of Confusion and she's not a pretty sight. Standing on the thin divide between Being Nice and Being Stupid, I feel torn. On my left sit Understanding, Trust and Kindness. They smile and nod – small gestures that tell me I'm doing the right thing. But I also feel the heavy gazes of Fear, Insecurity and Anxiety as stare me down from my right. Gleefully mocking me with evil eyes as Alarm and Panic pound their fists at the doors of my heart relentlessly.
What do I do? How do I know if what I'm doing is right? Second time around and I still don't know? But wait... do I even have control over the situation this time? Or am I just a pawn that's waiting for her turn to be led out of the chessboard in time to come as other people make their moves? Is this all just a game, in the first place? Why am I thrown into this hypocritical mess of black and white squares that are but grey areas under cheap lamination?
I don't want to choose a square. I don't want a next move. I don't want to make a choice. Because I know that as all roads lead to Rome, every choice will lead me to that dreaded checkmate moment. It won't be me calling it though. And I don't think I'll hear it either. But checkmate – the word still rings loud and clear. Hanging in the air unsaid but vibrating through my being like low bass notes that linger long after the high accents of treble fade away.
What do I do? How do I know if what I'm doing is right? Second time around and I still don't know? But wait... do I even have control over the situation this time? Or am I just a pawn that's waiting for her turn to be led out of the chessboard in time to come as other people make their moves? Is this all just a game, in the first place? Why am I thrown into this hypocritical mess of black and white squares that are but grey areas under cheap lamination?
I don't want to choose a square. I don't want a next move. I don't want to make a choice. Because I know that as all roads lead to Rome, every choice will lead me to that dreaded checkmate moment. It won't be me calling it though. And I don't think I'll hear it either. But checkmate – the word still rings loud and clear. Hanging in the air unsaid but vibrating through my being like low bass notes that linger long after the high accents of treble fade away.
Checkmate, friends.
The one simple word that puts an end to it all.
The one simple word that puts an end to it all.
6 comments :
Babe,
"Checkmate" is not the order of the day, "overly stressed" is. It's just time for dissecting and taking calculated steps. Everything is going to be alright.
Big big hugs for now.
awwwwwh....
No words... coz im sure u know what im about to say... BUUUTTT...
*hugs* =)
just be yourself and follow your heart.. if you're confused at any point, close your eyes, and let listen to yourself. Otherwise, coin flipping will help too.. =D
No Black, No White... look at the bright sight. Still got rainbow colors ma... ;)
and this rainbow has to have 8 colours... jus the way the lady likes it
ATTN: Whaley Bear
– Haha. True dat. Overly stressed to the max, wei. Cannot take it. Wanna ruuuunnnnnn!!!
ATTN: Jeffro
– Thanks for your text, Jeffro. =)
And I think I'll do that listening to self thing rather than the coin flipping. Haha. The latter's too risky. =p
ATTN: yapthomas
– Haha. Where?? Where?? Show me rainbow!
ATTN: sy1n
– Hahaha. Dun use that post against me!
Hahaha.. riiissskky~ yeapz.. that's if you've gone blank.. But knowing you, I'm sure that don't happen often, and even if it does, you won't be using that method either. *winks*
You're utmost welcome... Hope you don't find that irritating/annoying, that's good enough for me.. =)
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