Does She Want A Ring, A Wedding Band, Or A Guarantee?

Most modern Malaysian women of today expect to be proposed to (at some point or another before they grow too old to even see the bling on their fingers through their long-sighted goldfish glasses) by their partners. No longer is it ok for a man to just assume that he has her hand in marriage. Rule is...

If he wants it, he has to ASK for it.

And by asking, he obviously needs to boycott NATO – that's No Action Talk Only for you un-cool people who dunno acronyms, initial-isms and other cool stuff like that – and start ACTING on it. How? By getting (1) a ring, and (2) down on his knees. (Ahh, I think I could possibly be Beyoncé's best student yet. =p)

Thing is... modern-day women
are pretty delusional, too.

Let me tell you why.

Because getting a ring guarantees nothing in this day and age. NOTHING. You've gotta put pen to paper and spill ink (some sweat, tears and blood would help, too) before there's any form of permanency in your togetherness as a couple – your life together as husband and wife. Problem is, with the way society has begun to view marriage and its not-so-sacred-anymore-to-too-many-people vows, even that's not much of a guarantee. -_-'

So we're screwed, right?
Yep, we're all screwed.

I mean, already there's no guarantee that a relationship will last. We all know that. Not when you're just dating, at least – and by that I mean the officially-boyfriend-and-girlfriend-we're-in-a-relationship kind of dating, of course – no "it's complicated" nonsense, thank you very much. Cos shit happens, people draw apart, and relationships crumble. It's all a part of life and love, so that's that. We accept that it happened, deal and move on.


Thing is, it's easy(er) when you're just in the dating phase, right? Cos there's no real form of commitment there. No legal documents to sign, no in-laws to be answerable to in the event of a parting of ways. But what happens when you're married? Worse, what if you're married with child? You can't just pull a 180 and walk away. It's not fair. It's not right. And it is not an option. At least it shouldn't be. But even then, many opt for it. Cos it's the easier way out compared to dealing with the issue or working at improving the situation.


Some others (who are no better than the walk-away group, I might add) stay... and then resort to cheating on their partners to compensate for the lack of happy times in their marriages. Yes, those slime-balls, they cheat. The stories are plenty these days. I know many couples who've broken up because of cheating spouses/partners and it's just crazy how quickly a good thing goes awry when there's a third party pumping the beat.

So it's scary. Whether or not you're dating,
engaged or or married. It's just freaking scary.

Doesn't help that there are those infamous 3-year itches and the 7-year itches and goodness knows what other infidelity-driven itches there are out there, lurking around every relationship bend, just waiting to infect a good thing and send it fighting for its life.

Tell me.

How do you know that the person you're sharing a bed with
hasn't done the same with another just hours before?

You don't, right? At least not for sure unless you've done the necessary research, hired a PI or... urm, had a partner dumb enough to stroll into your home with lipstick on his collar. You. Won't. Know. All you can do is hope for the best and live on faith and trust (that hasn't been broken).


Ugh, the thought of sleeping with the "enemy" just sends shivers down my spine and curls my toes (in the worst of ways). Cheating partners have a special place in hell reserved for them, I tell you. And if there isn't one, there should be. >(

I think I'm digressing. Damn.

Ok so what I wanted to get at was that
in relationships, there is no guarantee.

And that really sucks. Especially for a person like me who needs the security of a guaranteed place in the heart of a person I'm giving my heart to. And not just the temporal-guarantee-that-comes-with-a-due-date kind. It's gotta be as permanent as permanent comes. Or else... susah lah mau komit. Tau tau tau?

So yeah... A ring helps to tell her you're serious.
A wedding band offers her even more security.
But a guarantee is what she's really looking for.

Aih. But I guess relationships are tough that way. Cos as much as we want guarantees, it's best we look ourselves in the mirror to see if we're able offer that same guarantee back? Hmmm... Looks like I've got me some thinking to do.