Ke-single-an

It's no secret that Tinki's single. No, no. It's no secret at all. She hasn't gone all exclusive with any guy. Not yet. And perhaps not anytime soon. It doesn't look like it's even an item on her To-Do List (not that she even has one) of the season. But of late, a significant number of people have asked why she's chosen to remain unattached.

"Dunno larrr. Just lorrr," is the reply they usually get.

Heh. Not very helpful, is it?

So, to tell you the truth, I really don't know. I mean, it's not that I don't want a guy by my side. I do. And it's not like I don't want to love and be loved in return by someone I can call out, "Hey, boyfriend", to. I do. And heck, it's not like I don't know any good guys, you know. It's just that they're good guys whom I'd gladly introduce to friends. Sigh.

Yeah, well… I don't get me either.

So I did this test. Haha. Yes, I'm a sucker for online tests. This time, I went for one that would answer the question I couldn't answer by myself: Why Are You Still Single?

JENG!

And now, the answer to that question, I reveal to you.

TADA!

You know, I think Tickle got it right. I don't believe that excitement in a relationship should come with a due-date. How could it? In fact, every day should be more exciting than the last. Heck, you're with the love of your life, for goodness sakes! Sigh. I don't know. Perhaps it's just me… but I think it's important to woo the love of your life every single day that you share together. Sadly though, not enough people think this way. =(

And yes, there are so many things that I still want in life. So many things that I still long for. So many things I want to achieve with this life that I've been given. I am idealistic in many ways and that probably comes with a price. Sigh. Singlehood's not letting me off easy. Not unless I just "settle". But that's not what I want to do. I don't want to just "settle". No. I know I don't. But if I don't, everything from there and beyond becomes a risk. Sigh. Am I really ready to risk it all by investing all that I am in another? Am I ready to put my heart on the line for a chance at love? Am I ready to go through all the ups and downs that inevitably come with being in a relationship with another?

I'm not so sure that I am. Not yet.

So I guess that's it. It's singlehood for me. For now. From now until I find it in myself to let my heart go. To release it into the care of another. I'm not ready to lose it if I'm not a hundred percent sure it'll be given the tender-loving-care it needs. I owe it to myself to protect my heart this time around. So, yeah. You're right, Tickle. I don't wanna commit.

But, hmmm…


Baby, yes. Boyfriend, no.


*scratches head*


How la now!?