ING-ing

NOTE: This post was inspired by a post entitled 'ING' by Shaba.


HATING: My weekly visits to the hospital, needles, blood tests, scans... and LDR. I hate the fact that my so-called husband is never around. I hate that I'm married and still going to bed alone. Worse, I'm now sleeping alone in a big-ass bed that has room enough for five of me but there's no one else but me in it! I hate that all I get are 3-minute calls a day. And that's on good days. Most days, I just get ONE call that barely lasts two minutes. I hate that I'm pretty much still single although I'm supposed to be married. And I hate how LDR after marriage is so much more unhealthy than LDR while dating.


LIKING: Rain in the morning, casual dresses, touch lamps (SUPER LIKE!) and online shopping while being subjected to involuntary house arrest.


LOVING: ...what's there to love?


WISHING: I was happier and that life was simpler. I also wish that I didn't watch "Love Hurts" this week cos that stupid movie turned out to be a total waste of my time. That's an hour-and-a-half of precious time alive that I'll never get back.


HOPING: That my next blood test goes well and my test results are truly celebration-worthy. Please let this ordeal be over! PLEASE! *prays* *begs* *grovels* And if you didn't already read about it, I'm also hoping that somebody in the family will get married soon. Reeeal soon. =p


MISSING: Oh, lots of stuff! (Click here and here to know what they are.) But right now? At this very moment? The thing I miss most is the freedom I had when I was living the life I wanted in KL. And Princess.


WANTING: More in life. More happiness. More satisfaction. More contentment. Just... more. I've just been feeling very underachieved of late. I'm not exactly where I want to be; I'm not doing exactly what I want to do... heck, I don't even know what I want to do anymore! Sigh. All I know is that I want so much more than what I have and I want to go so much further than where I've been but I just don't know how to go about achieving it all considering the many obstacles that stand in my way and the numerous restrictions that have been laid before me.


NEEDING: Some "crowded Alone Time". Confused? Don't be. Cos in my books, that means going out solo to a place filled with strangers. Some place safe, of course. Like at a mall or a hypermart. Or even just sitting in my car amidst heavy traffic. Anything, anywhere. As long as I'm on my own but not alone so I can clear my head as I disappear into a crowd.