Love, By His Standards

Let me tell you a story.

So there is this guy I know from awhile back who had his heart set on a woman who wasn't quite ready to date after a recent break-up. So in spite of his very best attempts (and trust me, they were pretty valiant attempts – even by my standards), she chose to remain single. Every time he asked, she said, "No." Every. Single. Time. For 2 whole years! Imagine that!

But wait. We haven't come
to the good part of the story yet.

You see, each time he was met with rejection, he went right back to God. He prayed, checked his heart, asked God to heal it, committed his plans to win hers to the Lord, spent time recharging in His presence... and then he went out and tried to win her all over again. And again, and again, and again. She didn't make it easy for him. But he never gave up either.


2 years later, his perseverance paid off and she was his. Those of us who knew their story celebrated the day they got together. A year and a half after that, she said, "Yes," to his proposal. And last year, they got married. It truly was a beautiful love story come true.

So what's the point of my story, you ask?

Well, to be honest with you, I'm not sure.

All I know is that of all the love I've been given insight to by couples my age, theirs is the one I respect and look up to the most. Not so much because of her response to his pursuit of her, or how she finally gave in to his love for her after all that time. But mostly because I saw with my own eyes how selfless his love for her always was.

So I guess this is where my point begins.

Real love warrants some form of investment on your part. You clock in time, put in effort and you invest in the person you love over and over again – without end. And if you run dry from giving, and find that you've given until there's nothing more to give, you go back to God, recharge and then you invest all over again.

"I love you." You can't just say the words and assume that it means something. People say that all the time. Even when they don't mean it. But real, honest-to-God love finds its substance in conduct. If you love, you've got to act on it. Stand up for it. Fight for it.

And most difficult of all, you've got to be willing to make sacrifices for it. Even it means giving up some of the things that are precious to you. Take tangibles, for example – like money, possessions or a better job some place else. Or even the touchy intangibles we so rarely talk about and carefully skirt around when we have to – like pride, or face, or ego.


The root word 'Forgive' is only mentioned 53 times in the New King James Version while the word 'Love' is mentioned a staggering 362 times – seven times more! So, if we are told to forgive a brother who sins not seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22), how much more are we called to love?

But you can't call it love
if you don't do anything
to act on how you feel.

In its most ideal form, Love is not Love until it is selfless and sacrificial. In all things, it is gentle, compassionate, tender and kind. But it also fiercely protects its own. And even as it offers security, it doesn't ever seek to possess. It isn't bridled by pride and jealousy. Neither is it uncaring or aloof. Instead, it stands in perfect balance amidst the chaos of this world. It dotes but never spoils. It corrects but remembers no wrongs. It accepts all, forgives all and harbours nothing of ill intent. That, is true love by His standards.


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1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
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4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

– New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.