Lost With A Capital L

Where I am is so far from where I want to be.

But dammit, how do I get there?
And where the hell is there in the first place??

Sigh.

Got me some thinking to do. Can't go on burning fuel with no destination in mind. Can't let every journey be a wasted mile travelled on minutes unaccounted for.


You gotta get get, gurl. Cummon! What you doin' sitting in a heap of wasted time and effort? Better get up and get moving before dawn turns to dusk. Or you'll find yourself sitting in the dark again with nobody but yourself for company. (I actually wanted to say 'nobody but your shadow for company' then I realised... in the dark, apa shadow also tak ada lah. Damn kau depressing, the thought. -_-)


Fine. I'll get up. But but... then what? Where do I go from here? You offer me so many paths to choose from but I'm given no direction. So many possible roads to take but I'm at Zero when it comes to orientation. Lend me a map. Show me a road sign. More importantly, tell me where you want me to go, dammit. I don't want to eventually come to the realisation that I've gotten off my arse for Nothing and Nowhere. Again.


Sigh. I know there's so much more that I want. So much that I'm looking for. So much I desire. But if I really, really had to, I'm not sure I could tell you what 'so much' actually is. Could it be that that just means I don't really know what I want to begin with then? Sigh. This is bad. Like, I'm-heading-nowhere-but-my-car-is-spinning-out-of-control-and-I-can't-find-my-brake-pedal kind of bad.

Ugh.

You know what?

Forget the journey; forget the destination.

I'm just going to pull over, get out of the car
...and wait for a ride to come along.