Was doing some research when I happened to stumble upon a quote that's so sincerely close to the heart of the person who said it, yet somehow also speaks the heart cry of women the world over.
Looks like we, girls, face the same problem, whatever our differences and social positions. Punk or princess. Asian or English. Young or old. Then or now. We all deal with the same thing.
You see, men don't know what they do to their women when they do the things they do and say the things they say. They don't realise that each time they compare us to other women, or imply that we don't measure up to their perception of the 'ideal woman', or tell us we're just not good enough, submissive enough or understanding enough,... they kill yet another part that lies deep in the heart of us. The part that's dying to please them. (Heh. Irony. Dying to please. Something's dying, that's for sure.)
Diana, Princess of Wales once commented,
"My husband made me feel inadequate in every possible way,
that each time I came up for air, he pushed me down again..."
[Source: Wikipedia > Diana, Princess of Wales.]
"My husband made me feel inadequate in every possible way,
that each time I came up for air, he pushed me down again..."
[Source: Wikipedia > Diana, Princess of Wales.]
Looks like we, girls, face the same problem, whatever our differences and social positions. Punk or princess. Asian or English. Young or old. Then or now. We all deal with the same thing.
You see, men don't know what they do to their women when they do the things they do and say the things they say. They don't realise that each time they compare us to other women, or imply that we don't measure up to their perception of the 'ideal woman', or tell us we're just not good enough, submissive enough or understanding enough,... they kill yet another part that lies deep in the heart of us. The part that's dying to please them. (Heh. Irony. Dying to please. Something's dying, that's for sure.)
Problem is, we've started accepting it
as the natural order of things.
as the natural order of things.
We tell ourselves, "He didn't mean it." "Maybe I'm just too sensitive." Maybe I should change. Maybe that'll make him love me more." "He's right. I'm wrong." "How could I be so stupid? Maybe I am stupid."
Even when we shouldn't.
16 comments :
Yo...why listen to Diana?! She wasnt a good wife either la...It takes two to click ;-)
always seeking approval, like little girl wanting to please daddy.
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– I don't think she was the perfect wife but I think she did try to make her marriage work. You think and see how difficult it is if you know that the man you love only married you cos you're a virgin, you have royal descent and cos you've never been married before. Not cos he loved you. And even while they were married, he was always calling Camila Parker. You think heartbreak or not?
You're right. It takes two to click. He refused to click. So in the end, she gave up.
ATTN: luxen
– I think girls are this way. I mean, it's always okay for guys to go their own way, not caring less for the people around them or the consequences of their actions. It's "manly"!
(Backside.)
But for women, we are more emotionally sensitive. So the approval of the people we love matter to us.
What?!.. tried to make her marriage work by indulging in an affair with another man?! Creepla this woman..Worth my 2 cents...
If not really sastisfy with the prince then why get married wor?! Sendiri cari susah....
adrian lim > -.-.he's the prince of england not some factory workers around our neighbourhood,she dont want get married then mean dont need to marry??,the mtfking prince will go all over her and her family trying to screw their life for sure.
Fluxevz: I dont think anyone can screw our life...The fact is nobody OWNS us unless we allow them to do so lor. If England doesnt seem the right place for her, the go to US la....Sure got good shows to watch wan....@_@ Woohoo! Freedom of Speech prevails....=)
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– No, that was AFTER he pushed her over the edge with his affair with Camila. Sure, it may not be the right thing to do. But she didn't instigate it. Imagine if you're in her position. You have to play the part of the perfect wife, all the while knowing that the woman your husband wants to be with is NOT you. The world idolises you but your husband idolises some other tramp. Put yourself in her shoes lah.
And I think she did fall head over heels in love with him at first. She got swept off her feet. (News is that Prince Charles is quite the charmer when he wants to be.) Unfortunately for her, her fairytale didn't last cos he soon resumed his long time affair with Camila.
And can you stop freaking pointing fingers at her??? LOOK AT THE JERK OF A PRINCE! The man who represents England. What a load of crap.
And I agree with Fluxevz when it comes to it being difficult turning down a proposal from a future king. Not easy. And you don't really know what the consequences will be. Plus, she came from a rotten family so they probably pushed her into it, too. Probably said, "Girl, you stupid ah???"
But then again, I stand by my take. I think she DID want to marry him cos she DID fall in love with him.
And then he broke her heart.
ATTN: Fluxevz
– I agree that there'd be hell to pay if you don't toe the line when it comes to the royals. Not easy.
if no one can screw our live then good la,no on will kena "bomb".
ATTN: Fluxevz
– That's ideal lah. But... I have my doubts on its truth. What about kids who grow up in disfunctional homes? You think they screwed themselves up? You think they CHOSE to be screwed up?
Pam, I know what you mean...
The thing I've discovered is this...
If I become the sensitive gentleman ala John Gray moulded Mars Man, they the women finds that I'm quite whimpy...
If I take on The masculine Alpha Male ala Neil Strauss & David De Angelo, then I'm not sensitive and understanding, but she's attracted.
So how? Worse dilemma for males right?
Well, it's difficult for males because we can NEVER know what you mean.
Your No, is a Yes, and your Yes is a No.
Your 'I'm Ok' does not mean you're ok...
Somewhat I believe this is not the male problem ALONE..
We need your direct communication rather than indirect communication.. Unfortunately this are the effects of men taking things at face value.
Expecting us to know what you girls want EXACTLY is not possible. Only God knows our hearts... So don't be so hard on the men ya...
We had already so much to face in a pressure cooked semi-female dominated world and the pressure to perform in the real world (or in the bedroom.. lol) can be taxing...
Men ALWAYS mean what they say... We ARE NOT that hard to figure out...
Honestly, I dont respect that man who represents England either...He ruined his own reputation and screwed up another woman's life.
However, she also committed an affair....and that categorizes her into the same league as her ex-husband.
Its not easy to reject the 'sovereignity' or her majesty...However bear in mind, they are also subjectable to the constitution.
You think I will give in if somehow a girl from the royal family likes me and force me to marry her with her filthy royalness. NEVA! I will choose to die than to marry her...=P
Each of us is unique in our own. There's nothing to compare.
ATTN: Randy Khoo
– Hmmm. I don't think so kua. There's always being gentlemanly and being a wuss. Different. The guys in my church are totally un-wimpy but they're as gentlemanly as anything. It's about that balance lah. Real men treat others like they're worth something. So it's not about being sissy. It's about being a real man.
And to ask for direct communication is something as similar as us asking you to not give us solutions when we just feel like ranting. It's tough. Cos it's what comes naturally. Not impossible, of course. But tough.
And men aren't that hard to figure out. It's just that we often don't like what we've figured out.
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– Well, she's in the same league as him in terms of that but at the same time, I believe that she deserves some sympathy. Her husband doesn't. That's what makes the difference.
And there are ways to DO things when it comes to people of power lah. Talk about hitmen and all that also enough already lah. They no need to lift a finger, somebody dies. Let's not be naive.
AND HAIYO! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I BELIEVE THAT SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM THAT'S WHY SHE MARRIED HIM!!! What you doing comparing to if you dun love a girl and just cos she's from a royal family you have to marry??
ATTN: Simon Seow
– Uh... I think you a bit keluar topik. Haha.
hmm..i guess it's both's fault. haha..
Gary Ooi
www.garyooi.com
My sympathy goes to the children not the freaking adulterous adults...
Haha...nope, me no naive..Just that I wouldnt bow down to the oppression even if it could cost my life...=)
And if Im from the royal family, I wont marry her for the sake of marrying her. Love...love thingy cannot force wan la....*Meng Kiong Mo Han Fook* (cantonese)...If she is yours; SHE Yours! =P
ATTN: Gary Ooi
– Perhaps.
ATTN: Adrian Lim
– Well, of course the innocent parties who suffer are the children la. The princes should have been spared this pain. I believe this is the reason Will is so scared of commitment and it's also the reason Harry turned out to be a player.
Yeah sure you wouldn't do it. But HE did it. And his marriage to her killed her spirit.
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