Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I Argue With Doctors During Consult Just Cos I Get A Good Kick Outta It... And Then I Suffer

I am SuperGirl. I never get food poisoning. NEVER. N-E-V-E-R. At least not since I was still in primary school or something. Really. It's been that long. Which, of course, is no surprise. Heck, I'm SuperGirl, aren't I? And SuperGirl doesn't get food poisoning. EVER.


Anyways, it's been SO long since my last bout that I even forgot when the time was already. So during my RM40 consult last Friday, that's what I tried to tell the doc. But he wouldn't listen! No, no. He had to go all smarty pants on me and totally dis my flu theory.


*ding ding*

Doctor's Assistant: Pahmehlarrrr! Pahmehlar Song? Boleh masuk s'karang.

Pam Song: Yeah, coming. *walks towards the doctor's office and enters*

Doc: *in much too cheery tone* Hi! Pamela, is it? Take a seat! Take a seat. *motions towards consult seat* So... how can I help you?

Pam Song: My head's heavy, I can't think, and I just want to sleep. My nose is snuffed, nothing's dripping yet but I vomited on my way here when I smelt clean laundry. (I did.) My skin hurts, I had mucus and phlegm this morning, and it feels like I've got a fever. (Ugh, I sound like such a complainer!)

Doc: Hmmm. Your right hand please? *uses forefinger and middle finger to feel pulse* (Ooo, old-school master.)

*both wait in silence*

Doc: Your pulse is very rapid. It's 108. That's very fast. You're fighting something and you're at the onset of a fever... that's probably why your pulse is racing. It's twice the speed of mine. Did you know, when I was younger, blah blah blah... (I forgot what he went on and on about exactly.) *looks at me expectantly when done talking*

Pam Song: *blinks then answers distractedly* Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course. (So didn't know what he was talking about. I had a heavy head, remember?) So what is it?

Doc: I think you may have eaten something wrong.

Pam Song: Huh? *way over-my-head confused*

Doc: What about your stomach? Any pain? Any discomfort?

Pam Song: *frowns* What? My stomach's fine. My head's not. *taps forehead a couple of times to stress point*

Doc: I know, I know. But it looks to me like you've got food poisoning.

Pam Song: *looks at doctor* Haha. *stops to think* Uh, you know, I don't get food poisoning much. I can't even remember the last time I got food poisoning.

Doc: *looks at me weird*

Pam Song: *frowns* You know, my skin hurt. It hurt. That means I've got the flu, right?

Doc: Let me check your abdomen. *motions to examination table* Lie down for me, please?

Pam Song: *rolls eyes then sighs* Fine. (Shit, am I alone in a room with a doc who just wants to feel a sick person up?!)

Pounding, pressing and prodding of the abdomen area
and a lot of does-it-hurt-here-or-here-or-here questions ensues.

Pam Song: So?

Doc: Thanks. You can get off the table now. You see, your abdomen is tender. And when you expressed pain at the areas I pressed, it shows that your stomach isn't at its best. It should be food poisoning so I'm going to give you some packets of oral salts, blah blah blah...

Pam Song: *interrupts doc* Wait, wait. What about my flu?! I didn't even have diarrhea once! And about the vomiting, I only vomited because of the laundrette!

Doc: *shakes head* Nope, I really don't think you have anything to worry about with the flu. It should be food poisoning. *smile* *big, big smile*

Pam Song: But...

Doc: *interrupts me* Hey, are you experiencing backache right now?

Pam Song: *frowns* Yeah, why?

Doc: *beams* Then you definitely have 90% of the symptoms of food poisoning. (Since when does food poisoning cause backache!?)

Pam Song: *frowns* Okay, fine. It's food poisoning. Thanks, doc. *walks out the door* Not. *grumbles while waiting in line to pay consultation bill*


And then I got food poisoning.

-_-

5 comments :

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...you think the salted-pig-hand Doc wanted to "pok-mong"(cantonese) you ah fren?

Actually hor...you can get second opinion from other clinic if you do not trust the Doc...

But again....how could backache relates to food poisoning? weird..=?

Simon Seow said...

No diarrhea? When I got food poison I shit waters out until I lost fluid and mineral, which causes fatigue. I didn't vomit though. A little bit of fever after I saw the doctor. It was cured by Panadol soluble.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: adrian
– Eh, you never know. A lot of sick people around. And I thought I had the flu mah. So flu where got touch stomach wan? Never simply suspect him.

I did. I went to two doctors. But by the time I got to the second one, I was already vomiting and lausai-ing so that means Doc 1 was right.

And yeah. I dunno how backache would relate to food poisoning unless it means that the kidneys area stressed. Then I understand. But if really the back, then no. I dunno how it relates.


ATTN: Simon Seow
– At that time no diarrhea lah. But after that all came lah. Neverending wan. I also just keluar water only mah. Over and over. So tired, man. Terribly lethargic. Hopefully it's over after the hospitalization lah.

k0k s3n w4i said...

Ppl keep getting confused over food poisoning and intestinal infections. Ppl vomit when they get food poisoning. Ppl get diarrhoea when got intestinal inf.

BUT I don't remember fever being part of food poisoning tho... hmmm.

Also, you don't vomit when u have the flu. diagnostics is mostly guesswork, y'know. there are very few diseases with precise symptoms which can led us to go "I'm sure it's AIDS" or "100% syphilis, here's some penicillin!". Well, at least not without a lot of expensive tests that Malaysian doctors generally don't do.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: k0k s3n w4i
– And now the doctor in the making speaks up.

Haha. I got hospitalized. Got super doses of antibiotic cos apparently I had live bacteria breeding in my tummy and not just toxins. That's why my diarrhea was so prolonged.

I think I had fever cos of the flu. I'm down with flu now. But the flu somehow died when my diarrhea got too bad. So now that I'm better, it's back to rip me to shreds. =(

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