A reader's comment in my last post reminded me of another thing I don't believe in when it comes to relationships. Let's make this No.5 , okay? (Read I Don't Believe to read numbers 1 through 4.)
5. I don't believe in relationships that start with physical intimacy before emotional intimacy. Any relationship that begins with both parties ripping off each other's clothes before or even shortly after formal introductions (e.g. "Hi, my name is so and so and I'm blah blah blah...") is already so... well, blah to begin with. How can you even find it in yourself to expose yourself physcially to another when you can't even expose your innermost secrets and share them with that person? Sure, to some people, physical exposure can be somewhat 'easier' than emotional exposure but... IS THAT EVEN THE RIGHT ORDER OF THINGS???
5. I don't believe in relationships that start with physical intimacy before emotional intimacy. Any relationship that begins with both parties ripping off each other's clothes before or even shortly after formal introductions (e.g. "Hi, my name is so and so and I'm blah blah blah...") is already so... well, blah to begin with. How can you even find it in yourself to expose yourself physcially to another when you can't even expose your innermost secrets and share them with that person? Sure, to some people, physical exposure can be somewhat 'easier' than emotional exposure but... IS THAT EVEN THE RIGHT ORDER OF THINGS???
And don't let's talk about sex alone lah. Even kissing and necking and hugging and lingering touches and even brushing fingers, for that matter, BEFORE emotional intimacy is already so totally off already. I don't see such relationships working out. There is no solid foundation that can be built on LUST and human weakness. If you were to have seen a future with the person you were lusting over and if you believed that what you felt was REAL, then the least you could do was respect the person long enough to get to know them better.
There. I said it. Now, I need
to get my head out of this gutter.
13 comments :
Got more points?
I love all 5 of em...
ATTN: 3POINT8
– Haha. We'll see if anybody else pisses me off about this or brings up anything to strike an already sore cord. =p
I so agree with you..If they start with physical intimacy..Its LUST!
I totally agree! :)
Well said women!
Some folks treated free sex as a lifestyle..... that just reflects how low or perhaps cheap the person rates relationship and to be with a person who acts and thinks that way, its doesnt give you the REAL confidence of being together.
Today he/she sleeps with you cos you are attractive but tommorow....he/she could be sleeping with another more attractive person. So where is the respect and true comfort of being together?!
ATTN: Falcon
– Thank you! Always nice to know that there are still others who think the way I do in this crazy, mixed up world. said...
ATTN: Big Boys Oven
– Thank YOU, too! =)
And welcome. Haha. You've caught me in a foul mood. Hence the relationship bashing. =p
ATTN: adrian
– Thanks, Adrian.
It's sad how people can deceive themselves into thinking that relationships that start this way is founded upon anything more than lust. And I agree. Physical attraction and infatuation does NOT lead to confidence of being with a partner who genuinely cares for you and wants the best for you, now and forever. Even if you're old and fat.
Some used that as an excuse to indulge in relationship cos there are so desperate (unmet needs) or perhaps could be out of curiousity......
But if sex becomes a need, then go hunt for the right one in a proper chronology and get married la......eventually sex life will be more secure, sastisfying and meaningful.
Why so cheap cheap advertising/flashing the body to a tom-dick-harry person......no different from a whore or sex-trader if we behave in such manner...
And I agree, relationship that is build on respect & genuine cares will eventually flourish at old age. That is where I will personally want my partner to adore my big fat tummy and balding head at old age.....=)Hehehe...
ATTN: adrian
– Desperation and unmet needs are not an excuse to me. Takkan the mind and the body is so WEAK.
And yes. Follow the right chronological order. It gives meaning to the act.
It's true, you know. It's so much more rewarding to know that the person you're with loves you because of who you are on the inside and accepts you just as you are on the outside. It's the inside that counts at the end of the day anyways.
yah...I believe its the mind that is weak rather than body....lack of self-control and integrity. Its all relates to the personality of the person....Some women that I met, belong to that category. Very lacking indeed...Sigh..
No doubt humans have desires but we are also given a brain to control the desires. If lust is the core of the relationship, sooner or later if will be destroyed by LUST but if it is built on TRUST, RESPECT & INTEGRITY, then it stays there permanently.
There is NO shortcut to build a STRONG house; so it is in RELATIONSHIP.
Every single milestones in the relationship strengthen the sense of belongings.....So the choice is in our hands...=))) Cheers, Adrian
wahhh 'lama' tark masuk and suda ala baniak non-code loaded interesting read de
*raise hand
question ah
what bout a person who has spend his/her entire life getting to kno peep but end up getting no where and later regret for not experiencing sex before.. look at it like doin bungee jump, visiting angkor wat or even goin through labour
or did i lali keluar topic de ?
ATTN: adrian
– Mind over matter. And if your conscience is strong, no temptation is too much for you to handle. Even the Bible says so, no?
But... you'll be hard-pressed to find many people who think like this already loh. Times have changed. For the worst. =(
"If lust is the core of the relationship, sooner or later if will be destroyed by LUST but if it is built on TRUST, RESPECT & INTEGRITY, then it stays there permanently." – I couldn't agree more.
ATTN: Kirsten
– Haha. Mana you MIA lah?
So? Sex should be an experience that you share with the person you love mah. If it's just 'another' experience? Then? What's the point of it being so special? It's not anymore.
Pam:
I think it depends on how and what avenue we used to develope our mind. If a person keeps on investing in lust, soon he/she will compromise and translate that into the bodily actions and worst it becomes a habit. You know.....its like garbage IN; garbage OUT concept.
Thats why the Bible told us to guard our minds......Devil teached us to use the body to gain sinful pleasures but Christ gave us a mind to govern over it. BTW, the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. If the temple is destroyed, Christ does not live in us and that shuts the blessings from Heaven.
In Moses's time, God gave the commandment of "thou shall not commit adultery. And look at Noah's time, what happened when the community is sinful? The Heavenly Father wiped them off from the face of the earth with the huge flood but spared the deserving..... They made mistakes, so we learn....=)
"Resist the devil and he will flee from you"....James 4:7
Kirsten:
Haha...I like that question.....cili padi har you?!
Hahaha....then that depends on the weight of desires. If that person ever regretted it, it simply means to me that the person needs it and of course it must be fullfiled in the ways of the Lord la. We dunwan to add uneccesary curse to our life right.....=)
Unless you are thinking of asking for the gift of celibacy from the Lord....then settle, no need to worry much.....Mwahahaha =P
ATTN: adrian
– I agree. The more a person indulges himself or herself into ill practices and thoughts, the more they'll end up walking in that lifestyle and carrying that worldview. It becomes a vice. A bad habit that just becomes more and more difficult to break over time.
Post a Comment
Talk to me!