It's Complicated

Friendster has killed our generation.

No longer are our relationship statuses as simple as they used to be. No longer are we merely Single, In A Relationship or Married. No, no. Life's too simple that way. There are those of us who find ourselves in It's Complicated™ relationships, too.

For some, it's a highly complicated (and particularly painful) case of used-to-be-lovers-want-to-be-lovers-can't-be-lovers. It's sad but stuff like this happens sometimes. In fact, it happens all the time. Things happen, times change, and people drift apart. Difference finally takes its toll on the relationship and people who once promised to love each other entire lifetimes... eventually break-up due to environmental and emotional stress factors. That's the sad side to Friendster's It's Complicated™.


For another bunch of intoxicated smiley-faced Others, it's the supremely exhilarating, incredibly engaging and immensely thrilling more-than-friends-less-than-lovers territory they've stepped into. (Hopped, skipped and jumped into, more likely, if you ask me.) With that, they giddy-headed-ly long jump – olahragawati-style – their way into the arms of their It's Complicated™ lovers, with hopes of living happily ever after... till their happily-ever-afters come crashing in because of the commitment-less nature of their relationship, of course. Like long-jumping, there's always the risk of over-stepping that blasted white plank.

So, yeah. This is what I want to talk about today.
The more-than-friends-less-than-lovers people.
Friends with benefits, they sometimes call themselves.

But is there really such a thing? Aren't all friendships potentially beneficial? Aren't all friendships, at the very least, supposed to be? So isn't it redundant to say that? Or is it one of those little white lies people tell themselves? Perhaps to ease the pain of not being in a real relationship. Perhaps to pretend that they really can be fulfilled and be truly happy being with someone who wants them but doesn't want them enough to commit to them a hundred percent.

I don't know. But this I do know.

Not many women are able to be "involved" without being emotionally involved. Emotional attachment is unavoidable when there's emotional investment involved. And when any of the love languages come into play, there IS emotional investment. You may not share physical touch. You may not give each other gifts. You may not even provide any acts of service. But quality time set aside for someone is already a demonstration of love. And believe you me, it's especially difficult for us girls. We are emotional creatures who constantly strive to build and maintain the many relationships around us. Heck, even maintaining the balance between the relationships we share with the people around us is important.

So tell me.

How is it possible that a woman invest her time,
mental energy and emotion into a man without at least
wishing for more in return than just his friendship?

It isn't possible.

Not for women, at least. We're not capable of that. In fact, not many PEOPLE are capable of that... not that it's anything to be proud of even if they are capable of it, anyways. Oh well. To every man his own complicated relationship. May it bring them the kind of joy and fulfillment I'll never come to understand.

I blame Friendster.