It's been too long since we've done this but it's all good fun meeting we-only-meet-once-a-year friends after... well, a whole year. (Shame on us, we know.) Such meet-ups are definitely on my ever-increasing We-Should-Do-This-Again-Sometime To-Do List but whether or not that ever comes to pass is an entirely different thing altogether. (Oh, don't we all know that.)
But wait. Before you point your fingers and proceed to judge me, understand this, dear friends. What matters is the Intent and the Motive behind the Action. INTENT and MOTIVE. Remember that. And so you know, I've got those two down pat. *beams bangga-ly* Am now working on the Action part these days but am not making much progress, I'm sad to say. (Sorry guys, self-help just isn't my thing.)
ANYHEW... let's not focus on me and my going-nowhere self-help agenda. There are more pressing issues on the table. Today, I discovered that I am not alone. YES! *punches fist in air*
Was having a good chat with some old pals when talk of marriage and baby-making came up. (Don't hold us to it. We were just being typically female.) It was a topic of conversation that was bound to come up sooner or later, really. (Our biological clocks had begun ticking.) I just didn't expect it to come up as soon as it did. (Ticking fast fast summore, apparently.)
But wait. Before you point your fingers and proceed to judge me, understand this, dear friends. What matters is the Intent and the Motive behind the Action. INTENT and MOTIVE. Remember that. And so you know, I've got those two down pat. *beams bangga-ly* Am now working on the Action part these days but am not making much progress, I'm sad to say. (Sorry guys, self-help just isn't my thing.)
ANYHEW... let's not focus on me and my going-nowhere self-help agenda. There are more pressing issues on the table. Today, I discovered that I am not alone. YES! *punches fist in air*
Was having a good chat with some old pals when talk of marriage and baby-making came up. (Don't hold us to it. We were just being typically female.) It was a topic of conversation that was bound to come up sooner or later, really. (Our biological clocks had begun ticking.) I just didn't expect it to come up as soon as it did. (Ticking fast fast summore, apparently.)
You see, we're barely 21 (oppose and I'll wrestle you to the ground before I shove a butter knife right up your nose) and we realised that most of our friends are either married, mothers or married mothers.
*blink blink*
So cepat, right!? Siao eh.
Wait for the rest of us laggards can bo? Ish.
So cepat, right!? Siao eh.
Wait for the rest of us laggards can bo? Ish.
This marriage thingy seemed pretty sudden to me, though. In 2005, I wasn't personally invited to any weddings. None. Nada. Zero. Zilch. (Those I attended with the parentals don't count cos I didn't have to fork out any money for the customary angpow.) In 2006 alone, the tide took a swift turn towards the positive and FIVE wedding invitations found their way into my hands. This year, I've been invited to THREE so far. Quite sudden, right?
And babies. Oh, don't talk about babies. I know a girl two years my junior who has two kids of her own and, mind you, the younger of the two is already WALKING! Another girl who sat beside me in Form 1 is currently pregnant with her second child, and this one girl who was on the Prefects' Board with me already has a 5-year-old to pat to sleep at night. Like hello, these people are not much different in age as I am, okay! Takkan I so lag meh?
*frowns*
So where does that leave us
band-less, baby-less folk?
So where does that leave us
band-less, baby-less folk?
Alone on the inside with nobody
on the outside – that's where.
on the outside – that's where.
It's people like us who end up sitting on rugs, sipping juice, eating moist chocolate cake and watching incestuous Indon dramas while griping about the unfairness of it all. Heck, we want kids, too! (*snicker* And here I was thinking I was alone in this craze for kids.)
And amazingly, we all agree unanimously when it comes to the perfect age for baby-having – 28 (for the girlies)! Ideally lah. That gives one just about enough time to date, get to know one's partner well enough to get engaged, plan a wedding, get married and enjoy a couple of relatively stress-free honeymoon years before being eternal slaves to the King/Queen in Diapers.
Good plan, no? Good.
*grin*
*blinks*
*frowns*
*grin*
*blinks*
*frowns*
I so need to stop thinking
wedding bands and milk bottles.
*narrows eyes*
wedding bands and milk bottles.
*narrows eyes*
You should know that I blame all you
happily married 20-something-year-olds,
with (or without) kids in the backseat.
I. Blame. YOU.
*huffs*
happily married 20-something-year-olds,
with (or without) kids in the backseat.
I. Blame. YOU.
*huffs*
------------
Just realised something. Funny how there was no mention of The Husband throughout our orange juice conversation. Haha. We jumped the gun a little there. Maybe cos it's so much easier having a baby these days than finding a real good husband. Just maybe. *grin*
48 comments :
Try reading Freakonomics.
http://www.freakonomicsbook.com/
I picked this up for RM12 in the book warehouse sale in Atria. It has an excellent chapter on parenting everyone should read before they become parents.
You're too young to be a parent. You're not economically and mentally ready.
Whoa. Harsh words.
Burst my bubble, kill the dream and demolish Disneyland, why don't you. =(
p/s: And technically, it's about being "financially" ready. =p
u ah ..always so "conveniently" leave out the husband part
I want to get married too.
and have kids too.
"enjoy a couple of relatively stress-free honeymoon years before being eternal slaves to the King/Queen in Diapers."
Hahaha! I like that statement...So true! =)
BTW, getting married does not only involve readiness in terms of age (maturity) and financial but it requires FIRM definition of COMMITMENTS (mental readiness) which is the most important essence of parenting. It is wise to set these priorities right before embarking into the era of serving the King/Queen in diapers! Haha =)
ATTN: zecount
– If I had one and I didn't mention him, then you can blame me. But now, I dun have ma... So technically, I still have to think like a woman who's out to fend for herself. Self-preservation, I call it. =p
That doesn't mean that I don't need a husband for all that to come true, though. Darn it, why is life so complicated?! I need to find me one of those Buy-a-Baby services.
ATTN: ming
– See! I'm not alone. Aiyo I tell you it's cos we're aged the way we are. Our biological clock start ticking di. WE'RE GETTING OLD!!! =(
ATTN: adrian
– Haha. True ma. And of course, maturity plays a HUGE HUGE part. If that wan tak ada, all other areas also no need to think lah. Quite susah getting married these days. Last time, as long as your mom say, "MARRY!", you marry. Now... susah.
Hahaha.....felt the pressure alreay ler! At your age, I think its still OK!
But if you reach my age and yet unmarried, guess what?! Your parents might buzz your ears almost everyday. If you dun have partner by that age, free matchmaking services will come your way unknowingly. But hehe....Im skillful enough to smell and avoid it at most of the time. My aunts are coming back from AUS, I guess I need a 'HOHOHO' avoidance plan...sure kena lecture one...Hahaha =P
yes so old la!
i'm turning 23!!!
hahaha .. can always try to adopt one now .. or u can always try sperm bank hahahahaha .. but becoming single parent susah leh ..how u gonna explain to ur kid one day when she/he asks "who's daddy?" ..die
These days women DO NOT need to get married to have kid(s). We are financially, mentally, emotionally, physically independent! We know our rights, we can choose. We can even choose a good "producer", get his "masterpiece" and kick him away. But still, 99% would still like to find a sweet, lovey-dovey, caring, stylish, passionate and compassionate, knowledgeable and talented husband to build a cosy nest.
Pam you are still single and available? Oo nyiah bo? Those guys out there must be blind! Who can miss such a stunning-bright-beautiful-talented young woman like you? Mai pian liao lah!
ATTN: adrian
– Aiyo, I early early also feel pressure di lah. My grandma was queen of matchmaking ok. And summore I girl ma. Different from you. Mine will start earlier than you in terms of age. By 25 ppl will ask you guys. By 22, people will ask us girls.
Haha. Your aunts all asking also ah? Mine is my uncles and aunties always ask when I wanna give my parents grandchildren. Cos my parents are the ONLY ones without grandchildren. All the other uncles and aunties have already got their own grandchildren. Terrible leh. Go family dinner also sket sket a bit. Haha.
ATTN: ming
– Haha. How ah? We should start using anti-ageing products. HAHA.
ATTN: zecount
– I think I'd rather sperm bank. At least it's still my blood in the kid. Adoption a bit hard. Summore it also means that I dun get to experience the joys of having my own child.
And about the "who's my daddy" question... Well, I think that if I'm forthright with my child, shouldn't be so bad loh. He/She has to know that he/she came from me and a donated sperm loh. No choice. Or else hard. Plus, it's not like you can hide these things forever. It'll come back and bite you on the butt one day.
ATTN: Samantha
– Haha. True. We are capable enough to do all that WITHOUT a partner. But yes, I agree that we WANT a partner to go through parenthood with us. It just makes the journey more pleasant and less stressful loh. At least you know that you're not alone. I guess it's for that added emotional benefit rather than the traditional financial security and all that. Times have changed. Ideals, however, have not.
Haha. Nah, I'm not single. But I'm not married either. HAHA. Bo phian lu eh lah. =p
Yalor! Always kena belasah teruk-teruk until I so scare to meet them. I tell you, if I pick up the phone, sure kena lecture for at least half and hour. I suspect my mum pakat with them.
Ho 1: Eh? You how old already hah?.......uh? Like they dunno?
Ho 2: Got girfriend hah? If you say no, I introduce har?!................Like I dunno how to find myself. Bleh!
Ho 3 : When you wanna get married and have kids?..............Bayang pun tak nampak, they ask this question.
Everytime I meet them, always ask these 3 standard HO-HO-HO questions.....
Luckily I got my secret weapon......."Ask sister first!" Hahaha....So I get to escape from answering all these questions....=) *grins*
I'd like to start thinking that I'd register next year perhaps? Ha ha, I am feeling old as it is. I'll probably wed a year later.
That gives me ample time to honeymoon first...hehe
Who knows.. and production starts the year after.
God mom wanted. I'll put u first in line.
Sounds good?
ATTN: adrian
– Haha. Ok ok. You win. Yours worse. =p
And I promise you, your mom pakat with them. HAHA.
Your sister older than you ah?
ATTN: Felicia
– Aiseh. Next year register, the year after get married... means 2009? Too long lah. Next year beginning can register, get married by Sept or so. Set? I shall await the red red card. After all, you've already chosen your wedding night tune ma. Haha. =p
I'm already standing in line. Hence, it is unwise to make the God Mom of your unborn child wait long in the bleachers. Hup hup!
Not single. That guy is so so lucky. Let's hear some wedding bells lah. Oh, no. I have just turned into one of your aunties. Yiaks!
Have fun while you're doing the pakthology thingy before you fuys got married. And after you guys got married, please continue to paktho more.
Have you seen those couples with two or three kids when they go eat in restaurant or coffee shop? The husband will read newspaper or go loitering, and the wife will feed/ scold or hit the children, children cry, the couple will argue. I don't know how the wife can stand that kind of life.
Haha. Wedding bells? Not so soon loh. And as a girl, very hard to say. Haha. The "power" isn't in my hands.
Pakthor is good lah. But pakthor too long also bad. I feel quite unhealthy loh. Ideally, 2 years is just right. But very hard cos now only we start working mah. So... have to wait and see where everything goes.
And yes yes yes. I'm all for pakthoring after marriage. I dun like cases where passion and romance dies after marriage. I think it's quite sad if that happens. No matter what, your relationship should stay lovers first, parents to your children second. That's why I disagree that parents start calling their partners "papa" or "mummy" after they get married. So no romantic. My parents still call each other pet names and I think it's great. So shweeet!
Your parents are really the pakthor type, so sweet. I asked everyone in my office what they call their spouse, and most of them said: "oi", "family name & last name together", " " (nothing, just start the conversation like that). No pet names. When I suggested a few for them, they thought I was really "geli" and gave them goosebump. haha. I'm the pakthor type. If not, I wouldn't have wanted him. Che wah!
Samantha,
I really don't think that kind of guy exist ... but i'll give you the benefit of doubt...
if you find one, let me know and i'll start searching for a Marrie Digby look alike who's also talented, hot, sexy, can cook well, can do house work, can look after kids, can talk about football, and also sweet, lovey-dovey, caring, stylish, passionate and compassionate and knowledgeable :)
Oh in case you wanna know who Marie Digby is and what she looks like:
Marie Digby
ATTN: Samantha
– Haha. Yes, they are. I love it when I see old couples walking hand in hand. It makes me go week in the knees and the sight causes my heart to long for old-time love.
Why ah? Why ppl think that it's geli to call pet names? I mean, if they did it before when they were dating, why not now when they're "happily married"?! No diff wat. In fact, they should be feeling so much more comfortable by now. Second nature to call your loved one a pet name.
ATTN: Leon
– Uh, FYI, Samantha HAS already found him. =p
Eh, you like Marie Digby ah? She's ok lah. I dun think she's THAT great but... okay lah. Pass. A lot of other hotter girls out there. Her self-composed songs are not bad but they keep playing Umbrella. Ugh.
Attn: Pam
Bravo!
Attn: Leon
Your comment is self-explanatory that you are not that type. That's why, Pam has to continue to do the Operasi Train Jantan. And must train kaw kaw now. Cheers.
Ooo! Which reminds me... I need to start writing another episode. =p
Hahaha....Im still safe at the moment. Other strategies are in line to avoid all these questions. Im good at it this far. Thats why my mum is building up her alliances =P
Of coursela she is older. My sister is just a year older than me. Eh..eh..I look like her elder brother is it? How I wish she calls me 'KOKO'! *evil grins* Hahaha! =))))
Leon: You have good taste of woman la Bro! Agree! Marie Digby is hot! Hardly find any Asian that look alike her! Almost none kua?! Hahaha =P
Pam: She is that GREAT la!
Pam,
Yes, I thought she's a pretty good singer... she's actually a proffesional artist, doing the amateur "act" on Youtube just to gain exposure.
Adrian,
Yup.. she's hot isnt she ?
Samantha,
No i'm not that type indeed :) But at least I'm honest with myself
ATTN: adrian
– Actually, I have no idea what your sister looks like so I had no inkling of who's older and who's the baby of the family. Haha.
And no lah. Marie Digby is ok-ok only lah. Campur face usually liddat ma. If you're into this kinda look, Kristin Kreuk is so much hotter. Now THAT wan, I like. =)
ATTN: Leon
– Don't get me wrong... The woman can sing. It's just that she's not... Hmmm. Memorable. As in her voice. I prefer some of the other acts that are less talented but are more memorable somehow. They stand out better. You have to imagine as though she's faceless lah. You're biased cos you think she's hot.
Kristin Kreuk also pretty la but she doesnt seem to catch my attention as Marie Digby. Different chemistry kua?! Perhaps Leon saw the same chemistry too....Right? Right? Hahaha =)
hahahaha .. i see that i'm not the only one plague with this ... well at least ur parents dun give u THEIR version of their retirement plan
ATTN: adrian
– Haha. Yes yes. I guess it's different chemistry. Well, Kreuk used to look better last time. Now... Hmmm. Not so great. During the earlier stages of Smallville she was HOT HOT HOT!
p/s: You can't see chemistry.
ATTN: zecount
– Wait wait. We no flow. What retirement plan!? Me not getting what you sending.
Oh, and you'll be pleased to know that I saw Zecount in a picture. Haha. Nice shirt. =p
Pamie:
Agreed! You spoke my mind! Haha! Marie Digby looked so elegant even with that simple dress. So shweeeet!
Aha! Talking about chemistry....this is what I can think of....
The chemistry bonds in 5 different ways:-
1. See: The beauty, outlook & gestures. I can see the alluring eyes and gorgeous lips! Leon sure like wan! Haha ;)
2. Hear: Uh! She got Shweet voice!
3. Feel: Not yet!
4. Touch: Never think of it yet!
5. Taste: Too far too reach yet!
Marie Digby scored (2/5) kua...Haha!
So who says you cant see the chemistry? Hahaha =P
Leon: Definately DUDE!
Zecount: Welcome to the BACHELOR club! Hahaha =P
Huh!? Chemistry doesn't work that way, dude. Not THIS kind of chemistry between ppl. And no lah. I think that seeing, hearing, touching, feeling and tasting doesn't ignite chemistry. Chemistry is the one that ignites interest after you receive impulses from those 5 sensory avenues!
what have u two been doing behind my back ah ???!!!
anyways me explain .. my parent's GRAND retirement plan
Me get married in Auzzie (mum said she wouldn't mind ang moh woh but ABC better wah) then my brother get's married in Southampton ..then .. TADA!!
My mum and dad can do yearly "migration"... spring in both Auzzie n Southampton
Then pocket money from the two sons ... all multiply 6 or 3 .. goyang kaki liao
@_@ ..sigh ..parents and their dreams
US two!? Which two? What have YOU two been doing behind everybody's back ha??? Tsk tsk.
Waaa. Your parents quite geng right? Haha. They win lah. My parents cannot fight. Haha. WIN! So... Which ABC you targeting now?
Wait wait. You mean you not planning to come back!?
coming back lah but seeing if i can get a PR here ...
ABC soup lah i tengah targeting .. hungry liao
ABC soup?
Please specify cook.
Pam: I know. If the chemistry ignites....mind me; its like your eyes kena tampal stamps. Everything looks so beautiful wan.... Haha =)
Zecount: Hahaha! Ang Moh also not bad wat....blue eyes with golden hairs. I like! I think I should go visit my aunt in AUS and kidnap one back. Haha....I think my dad will faint! =P
ATTN: adrian
– Hmmm. I don't think so. It's not that you don't see faults of eccentric behaviours. It's just that you become acceptable of them because of the way you feel for the person. It's weird lah. Like say this girl, she always always always forgets her keys and locks herself outside her room. Her partner may think, "Aiyo! So forgetful! But ahhh... So CUTE!" Haha. It's weird wan lah. I also dunno how to explain.
Your parents aren't keen on you finding a non-Chinese girl?
If that is the case, then tampal setengah jalan onlyla (half eyes closed); still can peep with the other eye.... MwaHaHAHa =P
The last time I told my parents that the angmoh in Cleo magazine was so attractive and wish that I marry an angmoh wife....Haiyo...I kena 'moral lesson' on the spot. Hahaha....Dilemma....Find cannot, dun find, also cannot. Hahaha....parents and their expectations =)))
Ooo. Quite traditional, huh. You better toe the line, man. Haha. But if true love DOES blossom then susah loh. Have to choose between honouring parents and a lifetime of happiness with the one you wanna walk down the aisle with. Sigh. Quite sad, hor? I dun think my parents would mind if I ended up being attracted to some angmor or something. They're not the type.
Hmmm. It's more like both eyes open but you're wearing rose-tinted glasses. Everything looks peachy pink although it really isn't in real life.
Haha...very indeed....but good also la; the very next time they ask me to get married. I say I marry 'ANG MOR'....see whether they dare to ask me that questions again....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA =)))))) *wink*
Chei! You make angmor seem like a disease. Takkan so racist meh? Anyway, so terrible lah you. Use your parents fears against them. Tsk tsk.
Oik, Oik....where got racist? I like wat? Just my parents dun like my partner to be Angmor only. Hahaha.......they are pretty persistent, so I need to find some ways la.
Getting married is no joke for us la. Takkan today I get married and divorce the very next day meh? We(Christians) CANNOT divorce at all......So if you marry the right partner, there goes your happiness. Otherwise..Habis....
Chei of course lah. That wan all needless to say, right? Anybody also know that if you find wrong partner means si liao. That's what makes it so difficult ma. I think it's even more difficult than finding the right career path. Haha.
And I think you agree. =p
Yup! Agreed! That why I prefer to marry late than to marry wrongly. There are plenty of other dreams to be fulfilled first before I settle down. No hurry at all....=)
Yeah but it'd be cool to have someone while you chase your dreams ma. If you're only into goals and not the relationships you build around those goals... then I dun think life would be very fulfilling also even if you have everything in the world.
Wa Wa Wa......Sounds like my aunts ler...=P
Yeah! I know. Since that the better half is still not around then its good to focus on buidling up the essentials. So when the time arrives, me & my partner will share the dreams and comforts together. =)
It's nice to know that I have the mental capacity of old aunties.
*snicker*
Hmmm. True. If the other half not around yet, then might as well chase your dreams as much and as far as you can. This is the time when you can focus on YOU. Bravo.
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