Monday, February 25, 2008

Forgive? Or forget?

How about both? Cos I seem
to be struggling with one of the two.


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"Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for is that one day, we'll be lucky enough to forget."

– Grey's Anatomy, Season 4,
Episode 4: The Heart Of The Matter


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I hope that one day,
I'll be lucky enough to forget.

5 comments :

Anonymous said...

I knew that you will blog about this...Okay! Let me share my experience with you....

I think I told you that on the day when I met the accident (1995) that almost took my life, a BEST friend came to the hospital and cunningly 'perli-ed' me in front of many visitors....and I scolded him and hated him for years......So should hate him right?!

Okay!I admit... I held grudges for 8 miserable years... But honestly, I was not at ease and the more I hated this person, the more ill-feelings I accumulated. So siapa rugi?!

Pam, humans made mistakes and sometimes the peoples that are closest to us, hurt us the MOST....To chose to forgive is a privillege and to forget is liberty. I knew its not easy but it is not impossible either.

But to forgive and forget the person mistakes do not erase the damages that have been done. Once a ceramic is broken, no matter how hard we try to stick them back, markings and lines will be obviously seen. It works the same in relationship. So think TWICE before you want to HURT anybody...

But that doesnt mean that he is not a friend of mine anymore....just that we arent that close as we were. See...what it means?...=)

Pam Song said...

ATTN: adrian
– You knew? I TOLD YOU! Haha.

We got misunderstanding. My problems isn't forgiving. My problem is forgetting.

But yeah, I know it'll be the end of us if we don't forgive and forget but... forgetting isn't like wiping out your memory, you know. It's easier in the movies. It doesn't happen in real life.

I can say this though. No grudges... just hurts. I don't hate but it doesn't change the fact that the past affects me in ways I don't want it to.

Anonymous said...

Yah...Its not easy to forget. And it reflects that the events that had happened, mean so much to you. True, our minds are just not made in such a way to be conveniently formated at will.

However there are few possible ways to overcome this predicament:-

1. Be patience and allow time to heal. You know, sometimes we get to forget things easily when we get old. Haha =P

2. Find more reasons or joys in that relationship so that all the hurts will be soon overshadowed and tada!....forgotten just like that.

3. Pray to the Lord to expand your heart so that you will be able to forget all the wrongdoings. Continuosly seek the Lord in quite time and do not stop until your prayers are answered.

Honestly, the capability to forgive & forget will be truly tested when you are married. So better learn now than later. Cos, till then there is no turning back.

Cheers, Adrian =)

Anonymous said...

"seek the Lord in quiet time" works for me....=)

Pam Song said...

ATTN: adrian
– Thanks for the tips. Haha. Nothing I didn't know but... thanks. Will wait for the effects to kick in. =p

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