Kill Me Now

When you travel, you meet lots of people. The nice ones you remember, the weird ones you never forget, the one-off oddballs who just don't fit into any regular Travel Remembrance Category, and of course... the kind *cough* ones who bring you back down to Earth to remind you why traveling isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea.

*in mock surprise* Oh, look at that!

That last one sounds so much more interesting
than the others I mentioned before them.

Let's talk about those people today, shall we?

I'm in a bus (again), making my way back to the heavenly place where family resides (again). And I have to say... I'm happy to be headed that'a way. But if I was to really come clean and be honest with everything, I'd tell you that I can't help but be a grouch and complain in misery right now.

Why?

Because lousy me just had to go choose seat 3D for the ride. Ahh, yes. 3D, the seat of all seats. But guess what? My brilliant choice had me sitting next to Mr I-haven't-had-a-bath-in-32-years. Perfect? NOT.


Listen to me for I speak the truth this time. The stench coming from the man is SO bad that I can tell when he sits up, lifts his arm, or even breathe, WITHOUT so much as a glance his way. I swear. (And I never swear.) The smell is THAT bad and THAT concentrated. Kau kau kit kit eh ah. And sure... sometimes I practice using my Literary License for an added dose of spice and aroma to the mix but this time, I promise you, I'M NOT EXAGGERATING. Not in the slightest bit.

Ugh. Talk about bad choices.
Of all the rotten luck. Bleh.

People with odours of any kind should be prohibited from utilising any form of public transportation services until they have officially been stamped "De-bau-ed" by the authorities. Otherwise, they can walk their way back to wherever it is they wanna go for all I care (which, if you must know, I don't). At least it stops them from killing the rest of us sweet-smelling / smell-free folk with their stink and making us want to stuff tennis balls up our noses and deep into our nostrils. Or better yet... rip our noses right off and permanently disable our highly-sensitised, acute sense of smell. Quick and painless – that's how it's done, guys. Quick and painless for very instant results.

*blink blink*

Gosh! What am I saying?

Ban the busuk, I say. Just ban the busuk.

Ugh. I think I need a gag bag.


-----------


NOTE: Post written three hours prior to publishing.