24 Hours Into Being 26

NOTE: I started writing this post 2 nights ago but never got around to finishing it. Till now.

If I were to judge the rest of my 26th year alive

based on the last 24 hours since I stepped into it,

I would very much rather go back to being 25.


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Before I begin, let me first explain that my family's pretty big on birthdays. (Mee and Fairy Godma especially.) You know, actually, we consider them HUGE events to be made a great deal of how ever many decades the birthday boy/girl has lived through. So, very naturally, birthdays have become a pretty big deal to me, too.

Now, back to my story.

I think my best birthday in recent years past was the birthday of 2006. I was a part of so many birthday celebrations (and surprises!!) – I exaggerate not – that I stayed out late and went to bed totally zonked but deliriously happy every night for an entire week. Phew!


But that was then. Back when I was younger and living out on my own. Back when I was still the single girl living in KL. Now that I'm older, attached and in Penang? Well... not so happening anymore. In fact, I'd consider today's attempts at a birthday... well, pathetic. -_-'''


Sure, midnight and the few hours to follow were relatively okay. I had enough calls, SMSes and email notifications to keep my phone busy till 3 in the morning. Even so, I must admit that I was feeling a little down in the dumps to be spending my birthday crossover alone. Again.


You know, it's funny but I can't remember the last time I celebrated my birthday with The Fiancé. I mean, I'm pretty sure that in the many years that we've been together, there have probably been at least a year or two that he was around. Maybe. Although no memory of a shared celebration seem to come to mind right now. Hmmm.


But this I know for sure: There were many birthdays of mine when he was still at uni in Australia, or flying here and there for year-end family vacations. In fact, there was even one birthday that I very clearly remember that he had to leave for one of his family vacations the very night before my birthday. Sigh. So, yeah. I've spent most of my birthdays attached and alone. It sucks but that's what you get when you're in a long distance relationship.


Oh, but it gets "better". An extra power, value meal of an up-sized suck comes cos the people around you kinda automatically expect you to have plans cos you're attached. So, they don't make any with you although in reality, you don't have any. Cos even though you've got someone... they're not around to help make your day that wee bit more special, and you're still flying solo.

I remember Jun-Jun asking me this

on the way to work sometime last week...

Jun-Jun: *excitedly* So what are your plans this Sunday.

Pam Song: *in monotonous voice* No plans. 

Jun-Jun: *eyes wide open* Huh?? The Fiancé not taking you out?!!

Pam Song: *wth face* Hello, he's not even here. T_T

Yep, story of my life. -_-'''

Anyway... today, for the first time in many years, I "celebrated" the day of my birth in my hometown, Penang. And I must say... it's different from what I'm used to. Very different. Like, it totally bombed-out and blew-over without even so much of a hoo or a haa kind of different. And I guess what makes it worse is the fact that I'm no longer in KL where most of my friends are *big fat sob* and Mee's MIA, too! T_T


Birthdays in KL – especially when I'm single and in KL @_@ – although mostly quiet for the most part of the day (save for last year's fashion fiasco) – tend to culminate in sun-downs that involve going out, getting fat, talking nonsense, staying up, getting fatter, and doing silly things that should never to be logged online. In a nutshell: LOTS! OF! FUN!

But instead, this was how

my birthday of 2010 went: 

1. Woke up and made it to church in such a rush that I forgot to put on my engagement ring. -_-'''
2. Had lunch with Dee at Hot Tin Roof before going home to Skype a little, mope a little, and sleep a little.
3. Headed over to Gurney in the evening for some much-needed retail therapy. (Solo shopping isn't pathetic. It's NECESSARY. *slams head into wall*)
4. Tapaued Chicken Rice from The Chicken Rice Shop for me and Dee before heading home to eat in my room while Dee watched badminton on the telly in his room.
5. Skyped a little more then sat down to blog – that was when this post was written – before bedtime. Which of course didn't help me sleep so...
6. YouTube-ed Bear Grylls and watched him climb trees and eat dead animals, while lying in the dark, hoping that his English accent would lull me to sleep. Which it eventually did after a couple of hours.

Sigh.

You know, I don't think I've ever – like, ever ever in my life! – had a birthday this pathetic. -_-''' (I wish I was exaggerating. Unfortunately for me, I'm not.) Thing is, I was just telling The Fiancé the night before the 21st, that birthdays just aren't what they used to be anymore. They keep getting from bad to worse the more I grow up. And although he tried to convince me otherwise, I knew I would be right. AND I WAS RIGHT! Sigh. I was right.

Seriously, I don't think I can take another birthday like this. If I'm ever to be alone like this again on my birthday, I swear I'm gonna go off somewhere and at least PAY to be alone ON PURPOSE. Spa myself to death or something – ANYTHING. Anything but this.