Not The Bed Of Roses They Promised It'd Be

I was texting with a friend today when she told me

a little about a dress she wanted to try on. Then she said:

"My mom and sister said no. But I guess

when I finally get engaged then they can't say

anything already and I can do whatever I want. LOL."

Haha. Good point. But I can't help but realise now that that statement also happens to be very far from the truth. Who says you get to do what you want when you're engaged? It's the total opposite! In fact, instead of just making sure you do what's right by your conscience and your family, you've now got a whole other family with a million other new VVIP characters to think of as well!

-_-'''

Anyway, it looks like talk of marriage and engagements are really in with my girls these days. Cos that realisation reminded me of another conversation I had with a friend last week. You see, she's getting married this November. (Yes, I'm invited and extremely excited for her.) And while talking, she mentioned something out of her own experience that I thought couldn't be more insightful:

"Pam, I tell you... Get engaged not so easy lor. Plan wedding? Even more difficult. Now not just you. I mean, sure lah... Last time also not you alone; got your family also. But at least your family still your family ma, right? You know them so long; mix until used to them already lah. What they like, dun like, also you know. But now? Got new people. Husband's side people. Summore, guys always don't care wan. So, we girls always have to be in the middle. People say get married is happy thing. But they never say it's US who have to make everybody happy."

(With this being Penang, of course she said all that in Hokkien. But I wouldn't have expected
half of you to understand; hence, the translation. Yes, you can thank me later. =) )

It's true though.

It's always the girls who end up working their assess off behind the scenes to make sure things stay afloat. It's always the girls who find themselves tying up the loose ends everybody else leaves behind. It's always the girls who end up struggling to keep the relationship between two families tight before, during and after the marriage. And on top of that, it's always the girls who are expected to plan the wedding (both sides, mind you) in a way that ensures the happiness of both families, while ensuring that her once-in-a-lifetime bash turns out to be a stellar success she, her husband, her family and her husband's family never forgets.

And guess what? Even though all this is expected of her, it's ultimately the guy and the parentals who call the shots and have the final say. Super stay-at-home kuli that's taken for granted or not I ask you?? Sigh. I don't want to be a girl lah.