Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Love Doctor Speaks

A colleague of mine was trying his hand at teaching me (kononnya-lah) the secrets to loving with all I've got and truly falling in love. Heh. Yep, I was skeptical, alright. And rightly so. It all turned out to be a full-fledged royal freak show in the end.

It all started out well and actually, the stuff he said during the 5-minute session kinda made sense and was pretty easy to absorb so there I sat, soaking it all in... thinking, "Wow. This will definitely help make me a better girlfriend."


Till I heard this quote...

"I promise... I will love you till the end of the road.
But if we reach a fork, I might have to choose."

SAY WHAT!?


I think my Love Theology's a little more accurate than this bugger's. Lotsa psycho love tutors around, I tell you. Psycho ones with zero Love Telepathy abilities. Watch who speaks into your ears, friends. Not everyone's as straight as they appear to be. No pun intended.

24 comments :

DelvC said...

sounds like a player man ...!!a lousy one somemore ..
always change when reach fork road...
to me when u love someone there is no end of the road loh ..end of road sounds like the relationship will end ..

i think our 'car and bus' talking better than him loh ..

Anonymous said...

At the end of a road, there will be node to other roads.......the real commitment of getting together will be truly tested at the node. Apparently, a loving couple will holds on stronger to the faiths that they strongly believe in and not to shy away when the storm hits.

However if the relationship (excluding marriage) turns sour in the long run, both will certainly be exhausted and apparently both parties will have to take a shot.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: delvc
– Ya lah! Exactly. Terrible, hor? Tsk tsk. Definitely our car/bus story better. Down with the road talk. FAIL!


ATTN: adrian
– Oh, of course. Marriage is no turning back di ma. So even if you hit storms and reach crossroads, you stick together and choose ONE road and both of you take that road. But agreeably, sometimes, it's difficult without marriage cos there's the option of leaving or taking different routes. Couples have to make a choice and preempt if such stressful situations can kill the relationship in the future before they decide to get married lor. I know of a lot of couples who fight like made before marriage. But I also know of many who don't. Surprisingly, it's not really a factor in deciding if they end up separating or staying together. Interesting.

Anonymous said...

If you are in a relationship....definately got 'fight' time one...that is the least that anybody will expects from the partner. If the fights are successful, sooner or later you get your husband but if not then the most is you get a friend (back to square one)....hahahaha =P

Fights can mould the relationship to greater height of trust and understanding but it also can kill if unwisely used. Nevertherless, its better to 'fight' now than later. No regrets....But dunla always cari pasal with your partner la....cari mati for sure....=)

Pam Song said...

Chei. Who WANTS to fight wor? If can, I'd rather not. Anyway, I grew up in a home with ZERO fighting between my parents. No kidding, no exaggeration. Everything can be talked out with both parties are willing to listen, no one is judged and no blame is passed. It's possible.

But how many of us can attest to never judging another or having low self esteem? Sometimes we bring on the fights ourselves, other times we get provoked into corners and we lash out in response.

Anyway, yeah. I agree. Better fight now than later. And especially not when there are kids in the picture. I'm very much against parents who fight in the presence of their children. This isn't something kids should be brought up to think is normal. It ISN'T normal to be at each other's throats all the time if you're in love. Cos when you love, as long as each of you put the other's happiness first, all will be well.

Anonymous said...

There are 3 types of fights in BGR that I can think of...
1) Verbal fight = 'this one sure you know one'

2) Mental fight = trying to 'fight' with mistreatment or some withdrawing actions that make you feel incompetent.

3) Physical fight ( a big NO to this as the man who does this is not a man at all.)

Even married couples also fight verbally onela and that is common...... I know that they will try to fight behind close door (not to be heard by the children).
You never playing eavesdrop at home one meh? =P

Pam Song said...

I agree with the three types of fighting that may take place in the event of a disagreement or misunderstanding. The most exhausting is the mental one, though. It tires people out. Next in line is the verbal one. That's pretty tiring too especially if it happens often. And finally, the physical fight. That wan... piece of cake. BUT if that ever takes place... It's time for both parties to WALK AWAY. Anyone who can physically hurt the one they say they love is lying. People don't even beat pets!!! You wanna beat your gf/bf/wife/husband!? Crazy.

And perhaps in your home you've heard fighting behind closed doors. I SHARED a room with my parents. There definitely was no fighting. And plus, I know my parents well enough. They aren't such irrational people. I'm not a kid who's trying to show off that I have a perfect family. I don't think I do. But one thing I do know is my parents have the kind of relationship I wish to have with my future spouse. Can many of you say that of YOUR parents?

Anonymous said...

What?! You so big already...also share a room with your parents?! Whoa...manja betul...hahaha =P

Dun tell me that you get to listen to all the sweet talks when your parents are

Anonymous said...

eh...what did I pressed.....never mind...continues here....

..talking to each other. =P

Pam Song said...

Uh, uncle. SHARED happens to be PAST TENSE. English need help much?

Anyway, ya lor. My parents don't fight wan. A lot of ppl find that hard to believe. I think it's sad. Cos it only means that people think that fighting between spouses is NORMAL and that if you have a good healthy relationship that doesn't involve bickering, you're ABNORMAL. Sad.

Anonymous said...

Yes Auntie Pam....
haha..blamed the English..it didnt tells us when it took place mah...2 years ago or 20 years ago? =P

What abnormal?! Im very normal one you know.....of course I do not prefer 'fighting' over peace but if my partner sparks out even after marriage, then at least I know what is going on and I can do something to mend things out...Heh! =)

A buddy of mine told me this: b4 marriage, everything so beautiful one but after marriage...all the 'tigers and lions' come out. So what to do....talk it out la = "fights" and at the end of the day, come out with solutions!

Pam Song said...

I didn't blame English. I blamed your comprehension of the English Language. And anyway, common sense feeds the rest but apparently, you've got problems with that, too. =p

And speaking out after marriage is a given. Of course it's good. But you don't have to be pissed when you're expressing yourself wat. There still isn't a need to fight.

And honestly, if you're friend is in that position (I'm not sure. Is he? Or was he just telling you about it?), it's sad. It only means that he and his wife were never honest with each other BEFORE marriage. What kind of grounding is that? If eventually the marriage dissolves because of their misunderstandings, it's cos there wasn't a proper foundation to base their relationship on. How can lah? How can two people step into marriage when they aren't even able to be honest with each other? Terrible.

Anonymous said...

Haiyo! Kepala boleh keluar asap liao...hahaha = ) I understand onela.....just want to tease a friend....hahaha =)

True I dun have to be pissed to express myself but if I am pissed, what do I have to loose in that scenario? In fact, I will be well informed on the things that bother her and she will know that at least there is a husband to listen to her. Still kicks what?

You expects your partner to be 'lovey-dovey' all the time one and cannot argue or ' fight' with you har? So sad...you want a woody husband rather than a lively husband....hahaha =P

Pam Song said...

What you have to lose? Well, lots. Like the respect of your partner. Plus, you may unintentionally hurt her with your tone and manner. Sometimes, it's not just what you say but the way you say it, too. And especially when emotions are running high, it gets worse when you lash out cos when people go on the offense and defense, it rarely ends well. And anyway, everything you see to build between each other goes down the drain. A hundred times of "I love you" will never make up for ONE "You're useless", "You're a disappointment" or "You're a failure".

And no, I don't expect to have my partner be lovey dovey with me all the time. I'd want that... But I also am realistic enough to know that it's not possible. Thing is, even if your partner isn't lovey dovey, he/she still doesn't have to be mean or rude. All that's uncalled for.

Anonymous said...

Wah! Bravo! There is hope for you yet!

I agree that 'fight' among BGR must be constrained within certain parameter that is bearable by both parties.....like no harsh words and no rudeness. Its all ties down to communication skills lor... =)

Give you a scenario:-
If a husband could not corrects his beloved wife for her wrongdoings and dare not to 'fight' for fearing of losing her, then what is his use of becoming her husband? Ultimately the husband is answerable to himself and God! He is a loser by default if he shies away from his responsibilities. Isnt it? =)

Pam Song said...

But how is that fighting? Just telling her of her wrongdoings doesn't have to end in a fight ma. Hmmm. I think we have different definitions of the term. Cos to me, your scenario is just "talking things out". Nowhere near fighting.

Anonymous said...

Okay..go further a bit....if "talking things out" is not successful so what will happens? Verbal fightlo....So will you still dare to speak out while knowing that you could possibly end up in verbal fight with your couple?

Pam Song said...

Yeah but my point is that it shouldn't even come to a point where it's "not successful". Talking things out HAS to be successful all the time! Why does it have to end in a verbal fight? As long as nobody points fingers, nobody passes blame, nobody accuses anybody else,... then no problem, right? Surely nobody will raise voices.

And of course, I dare to speak out. Haha. You obviously know nothing about me.

Anonymous said...

Even when it come to a point which is 'not successful' in the process of 'talking things out' , 'fight' is there to attest on how far the relationship is stretchable......if both couples could get over it, then the relationship grows stronger!

My point is IF fight is unavoidable (least prefered) while talking things out, then I dont think it is entirely bad either. Just make sure that the bond is still there. Lets no souls separate......

Only peoples who really care about us are willing to go the extra mile to correct us.....They could be harsh but one thing I know is they have a good heart, a heart for a friend! Same thing applies when it comes to bf-gf & husbnd-wife relationships.

And heh! I dont have to get into more details to know that you are bubbly........hahaha =P

Pam Song said...

But it's got nothing to do with correcting another! Fighting and correcting another are two entirely different things.

Hmmm. Tough times tell of how far the relationship is stretchable and how strong the bond between them are. Fighting? No. I disagree.

Like for instance, when a friend tells me she's upset with what I've done or she disagree with something that's taken place, I don't see a need for her to fight with me about it. Tell lah! Maturely. Like an adult. Fighting is juvenile. (Not like I don't do it lah.) But yeah. It's juvenile.

And who says I'm bubbly. I'm a grouchy fart.

Anonymous said...

So does that means you will give up on your partner if your partner somehow fights with you verbally? How can? Isnt that it is more juvenile? Say say....can love the partner but with one fight (verbal).....habis...all the sweet talks go into the rubbish dump........What a waste.... =P

Chei! Grouchy fart pulak......cannot smell la.....Hahahaha =)

Pam Song said...

Of course not lah! Haiyo! But I'm saying that it's all unnecessary lor. That's all.

Anonymous said...

Aiseh! Liddat la....=)

Pam Song said...

Like what!?

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