As I grow older the days pass, I realise that not everybody's worth an hour, 20 minutes or, since we're at it, even 5 minutes of my now-very-precious time sometimes. With work consuming so much of what used to be 'My Time', I'd like to know that when I make time to hang out with my peeps, it's MY peeps I'm seeing. People who actually mean something to me. People whose lives I actually care to know about. People I whose lives I want to spend time investing into. I want to catch-up with friends... not meet new hi-bye acquaintances.
But that's not always the case. Somehow, the oddball does come around every once in awhile. Giving me its cheeky grin and messing up my Friend Assessment Meter. They tell me that they'll make every second count (excellent salesmen, they are) but they often fail miserably when it comes to showing me that they do. Over promise and under deliver. Pfft. That's no use to me at all, now, is it?
A-hah! But the problem is this: I'll never know – not until I take a risk, go out on a limb, and just... well, show up. And that's pretty damn frustrating cos it puts me in a situation where I end up never knowing if the hangout session's actually worth my time or not... until I'm seated right across the fella.
But that's not always the case. Somehow, the oddball does come around every once in awhile. Giving me its cheeky grin and messing up my Friend Assessment Meter. They tell me that they'll make every second count (excellent salesmen, they are) but they often fail miserably when it comes to showing me that they do. Over promise and under deliver. Pfft. That's no use to me at all, now, is it?
A-hah! But the problem is this: I'll never know – not until I take a risk, go out on a limb, and just... well, show up. And that's pretty damn frustrating cos it puts me in a situation where I end up never knowing if the hangout session's actually worth my time or not... until I'm seated right across the fella.
I'm actually sitting there with a bad hunch
and a thoroughly fake smile plastered on my face.
AND THEN, I know.
And by then, it's too late. Pen in hand, I scratch off minutes from the ever-ticking clock while the small talk before me continues (albeit in the background of my mind), and hope that some time actually gets the reward of being left behind before my mind floats into oblivion, leaving my body to rot in the presence of snore-worthy people who bore me to the ends of the Earth and back again.
Wow. That was a 67-word sentence.
*blinks again*
See? I'm pretty easily amused so it's not like
I'm being entirely unfair to those I speak about.
Sigh.
Put it this way... I'm just done with superficial friendships and tiring individuals who do nothing but suck the life out of me. And they're pros, I tell you. They – all of them – do it slowly and systematically (yes, there's a technique to it that only they seem to know). I've had enough. Stop the ride cos I'm getting off the ferris wheel. There are other rides at the fair I'd rather spend my time on.
Honestly though, this amusement-park talk does say a lot. I mean, I'd rather scream my head off in fear and glee and have my insides all tied up in knots and spilling out of my mouth than to stay on a boring and mundane ride that just fails to excite. I want to feel something. Anything! Just don't let it be nothing cos when it is, that's when I jam the brakes and hop off.
17 comments :
wa ... like that if sumone gets rejected when they ask u out .. not date lah .. then they know how they fair loh in ur friend meter... kau kau sad lah wei like that
Haha. Nope. This post was written AFTER I wasted my time. It's not general. It's specific. But of course, as always, you guys just take my posts too seriously. I practice literary license (as my mom puts it) whereby somethings are dramatised for added effect.
Hey babe,
I am feeling really bad after reading this post of yours because ill-joking manners made the whole scenario ugly. I reckon that the incident was uncalled for and totally not something we both were anticipating after a long day at work.
Yet I know it was not intentional and I have to admit it pains me to see people I care about hurt, it hurts me to see you upset or whichever word you would choose to describe it. Is a second chance an offer you would give because I personally know it's worth the giving....
Hugs,
"Miss Have Been Feeling Bad Since Last Night"
Hey ya babe,
Forget about it, alright. Not worth it. I'll see you when I get back from Camerons. Catch up then. Like REALLY. And this time, I don't want buy 1 free 2.
pamsong
Flock around with the deserving friends lo....we do not have to put up masks and force ourselves to flock around with the superficial... The real comforts come in when we just be ourselves! Cheers, adrian =)
Is okay leon, she is like that wan. I've been being rejected 802 times dy.
Jacob: You have been rejected 802 times? Then mine should be about 801.
Just kidding.
I don't want to talk to it anymore. It's too heartbreaking to even think about it.
Anyway, cool blog pam. at least I know what's going on in your little world.
Jacob: You have been rejected 802 times? Then mine should be about 801.
Just kidding.
I don't want to talk to it anymore. It's too heartbreaking to even think about it.
Anyway, cool blog pam. at least I know what's going on in your little world.
wa lao rejection !!! hahahah poor jacob n shirley
Shirley & Jacob,
You guys must be kidding to even say REJECTED.......time is scarce....I think Pam has always rejected time for herself...so, on that scale, you're REALLY fortunate....
Babe,
Sigh....somehow I am still sad lar...Have been half a day and my thoughts about yesterday is still lingering....
Nisha,
I totally understand that time is scarce. All of us are busy.
And it's true as pam said. Whom we chose to spend time with is crucial, what if you are the one who is able to squeeze out time to meet inspite of your busy schedule but still being rejected?
All i can say is - priority changes
BUSYNESS, KILLER OF FRIENDSHIP - In a long run, do you think this is the way of life?
I'm just worried.
What happened last night? Pam has been busy at work right and then went home and rest after a long tiring day.
Cheers.
Leon:
Yeah, why are you laughing?
It's not that bad as you think la.
We are just too 'happening' here. BZ!
Australia quite boring ya?
Shirley,
I think you're losing my point....I am saying that time is scarce and we try our level best to find time for everyone that matters to us....but the person that matters the most is "I".
I don't deny that all of us have commitments and priorities in life and we are constantly occupied with all of that but that does not mean that we forget each other, it's the scheduling that keeps us apart although more often than not, it's not by choice.
Well...on the point of "Busyness = friendship killer", I have to say if it's a friendship to begin with, it will stand the test of time and it will prevail despite the circumstances and distance, this is my take on it.
As for your worries, we both are well aware, Pam has been busy with work because it is now that she has to push herself to move towards greater heights. Thus, as much as we miss her and she us, we understand. All we can do is to keep her in our prayers and give her our blessings because that will keep her safe in the comfort of our friendship.
Last night, I called her to talk about some personal matters and I was being insensitive and I poked a little nerve, so I apologized. I got hurt to have hurt her unintentionally. There you go, so yes she was working, tired and all and the last thing she needed was for me to say what I said.
Cheers!
Thanks Nisha. I agree with you.
Continue to be there for her.
Protect her heart.
omg I am lost in here
wa lau shirley jie ...hahaha not THAT boring hahahaha anyways miss u guys lots... God bless
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