Come Home

Artist: One Republic
Song Title: Come Home


Hello world, hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young, for speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be the better half of me
They’re in their own place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So I say to you

[CHORUS]
Come home, come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long, for so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home... ooh

I get lost in the beauty of everything I see
The world ain’t half as bad as they paint it to be
If all the sons, if all the daughters stopped to take it in
Well, hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now... yeah
Well, maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

[CHORUS]
Come home, come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long, for so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
I've ever known
So come home... ooh

[BRIDGE]
Everything I can’t be is everything you should be
And that’s why I need you here
Everything I can’t be is everything you should be
And that’s why I need you here
So hear this now

[CHORUS]
Come home, come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long, for so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known, I've ever known
So come home

[CHORUS]
Come home, come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long, for so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home

I've had this song for awhile now, actually. Just never really paid attention to what its lyrics had to say before. Funnily enough, it popped up on Gossip Girl, Season 1, Episode 12, the episode where Serena's mom finally decides to give her love with Dan's dad a chance though she was just on the receiving end of a proposal from Chuck's dad. Unfortunately, nearing the end of the episode, we see her turning her back on what her heart really wants cos she knows what Serena wants, too – for her not to be with Dan's dad.


You see, Serena is dating Dan and as much as she hates Chuck, she'd rather be Chuck's stepsister than Dan's cos then they'd probably have to break-up their little love affair. After all, dating your stepsister isn't exactly very romantic or legal, right? Thing is, Serena's mom gave up her love for Dan's dad once before already.


The first time, her mother, Serena's grandmother – this evil, uppety, snoot of a devil woman – made her choose between Dan's dad and her inheritance. And as you can probably guess by now, she chose her inheritance over her happiness. (This is why I love Gossip Girl – the drama makes me realise a boring life like mine isn't half bad.)


Hmmm. So, Serena's mom gave up LOVE for MONEY. Was it worth it? To sell your heart and emotional happiness for a few extra zeros in the bank? No. I've never thought that money was worth losing yourself for. And when you lose the one you love, you pretty much lose everything there is to lose, including yourself. Because you give the people you love a part of yourself, don't you?


Second time around, she was supposed to give up LOVE for MATERNAL RESPONSIBILITY. This one's debatable to me. Sure, the act is selfless. But... can she really dismiss her heart's cry for the love of her life a second time around? Is it right that she even does so? Sigh. Must be excruciating.


I can't really tell you what she chose yet. I haven't finished watching that episode. I felt an urgent need to blog. Plus, the tears were kinda screwing with my vision, no thanks to the song that was playing in the background. -_- So... yeah. I'm paying attention to "Come Home" and its lyrics now. And those words, they make my heart ache. Cos this time, I know for sure that Art has imitated Life.

"And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known"

I once dated a guy for many years. And I fought and I fought for our relationship because I believed that what we had was worth fighting for. That what we had, in spite of the adversities, would be beautiful in the end. Because Love's always worth fighting for, isn't it?

But that's good fighting. There's bad fighting, too.

People say that every healthy relationship comes with fights and bites. They call it "spark." But you know what? I don't believe that. I don't believe that it takes a little bit of trashing out every once in awhile for a relationship to stay healthy. But this I do believe: When a relationship loses its fight, that's when it all ends. Because when you stop caring enough to fight for what you have, it's the beginning of the end.

"There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be the better half of me
They’re in their own place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying so I say to you
Come home, come home"

Too bad distance always stood between us. 80% of the time we were together was spent apart from one another. In different states at some times, but mostly, in different countries. Never told him this but I always wished that he'd pack up and fly home. (Don't get me wrong. I believe that LDR can work. But that's another story for another day.) So it really sucked to figure eventually that he probably wasn't ever going to "come home" for me because of dreams he wanted to realise on his own, in another place, in plans that I probably didn't figure in.


And to be honest, that thought scared me. Could it be that I was fighting for something or someone who wouldn't fight for me in return? And all girls want to be fought for, don't they? Doktor Lurve and I were just talking about Wild At Heart by John Eldredge (an awesome, awesome book every man should read) and he asked me one question – "Is it true? Do all women want to be fought for?"

Yes. I believe so.

We want to be desired. Then pursued. You can't sit on your bum all day waiting for Miss Right to drop into your lap and do you a lap dance. Cos she ain't gonna. Go to a strip bar if you want lap-dancer girl to show you her moves without you making yours first.

But I digress. And I apologise
for going into OTJ mode.
Been quite in the mood for
some male bashing teaching.

So I figured that since I could very well be fighting in vain, I fought for my independence instead. My liberation from male superiority. My escape from emotional suppression. And after a lot of pain, heartache and tears, I got it.

But it isn't always fun being on your own.

You don't get out-of-the-blue hugs, you don't get kisses before bedtime, you don't get wake-up calls – nada. All you get is an empty bed and a silent phone. And what fun is that, right? But that's not the worst part. What's worse about being alone is that you find yourself having no one to care for. No one to love. No one to invest into.

It's funny how we find ourselves giving up our time, our effort, our lives even... for everything but our hearts. Even when ultimately, it's our hearts that really matter in the whole scheme of things. We'd sacrifice it all for money, for a good job and for family... everything outside our ourselves but never for our hearts that beat within us.


Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder if I'm left where I am because I'm strong-willed and independent... or just cos I was too idiotic and stubborn to listen to what others (like my heart) had to say. What I know is this: It really sucks to be somewhere (you think) you wanna be, when you're got no one. Cos really, when you've got no one, you've got nothing.


p/s: There are two versions of the song in that flash player. The first is by One Republic and the other's by them as well, but featuring Sara Bareilles. The One Republic version was the one that was used in Gossip Girl. It's also the one I've been listening to all night.