Why?
Because I find it hard to see my future now. I no longer believe without a doubt that I'll grow old with my husband. I worry I won't be alive long enough to see my kids grow up. I wonder if I'll go down the same path as those who fought the good fight and died anyway. π’
It was never like this before.
Even after Cancer marked me for the first time last August, I remember feeling positive about my outcome. I knew it was early-stage cancer. I knew the prognosis was good. I felt like it was a cold Winter that would eventually pass. I was going to beat the odds and come out of this stronger than before.
But it's not the same this time around.
I feel down. Desolate. Depressed. Honestly, I feel less hopeful. π It feels like I escaped Death once already. How many times can I escape it again and again as it claws at me? How many times can I outrun this disease? How many times will my life be spared? Will it ever let me go?
So many questions crowd my mind.
And none of the answers, I like.
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