Tuesday, October 15, 2019

A Mother's Role

So, this is that blog post


I'm in my 30s – a time largely considered to be the prime of my life by many and most. That means that if I'm to hope to amount to anything great or achieve anything amazing at all in this lifetime, THE. TIME. IS. NOW. Right?? Wrong.


Problem is – a scattering of freelance jobs aside – 
all I was doing for the better part of this decade of my life...

...was mothering.


Every scroll through Facebook showed me that my peers in advertising were all doing envious things – moving up the corporate ladder, winning awards, starting agencies and making creative waves wherever they were at.


But me?


I was perpetually in gym clothes (most comfortable), rushing for school pick-ups (always late), packing snack boxes (school lunches are too expensive), cooking dinners (eating at home is healthier), cleaning cuts (birthed accident-prone kids), wiping drool (back then), and washing poop (every. single. day). 😞


I kept going through periods where I felt like I was going nowhere and doing nothing of consequence with my time here on Earth. I felt like my days were just blending into one another and my jam was Ecclesiastes 1:1 on repeat, day in and day out. I questioned my purpose and came up with no answer. I was just a glorified chef, maid and driver who worked day and night without pay. At least it felt that way to me for a long while.


Until I got cancer.


Spending time away from the kids and seeing them stumble where they once shone made me and The Husband realise that my role as a mother is so much more important than what we ever thought it was. I don't know about him but I always saw my roles as morning waker, breakfast maker, lunchbox packer, food feeder, car driver, bandage applier, poop cleaner, homework driller, toothpaste squeezer, and so on and so forth. Functional. Practical. Domestic.


But I was wrong.


I've discovered that though through my eyes I may function as all of the above... to my kids, my role and my identity as a mother is wrapped up in more than just what I'm doing; it's in my being. To them, I am comfort giver, heart healer, love sharer, joy bringer, worldview shaper, memory maker, and so much more. My role is to meet their needs emotionally. Psychologically. Mentally. 


When I bandage a cut after a fall, I show my boys that life can knock us down but love can build us up again. When I put them to bed, I'm not just a warm body for them to hug, my presence reminds them that no matter what happens during the day, they can always find rest, security and acceptance in Mommy's arms. When I pick them up, I don't just carry their bodies, I cradle their hearts.  ❤️


The Husband and Mama have been pitching in and I'm eternally grateful for their help during this time. The kids are being fed, they're being sent and picked up from school, their bums are being cleaned, their teeth are being brushed, they're being put to bed, and yet... both boys still know and feel like something's amiss when Mommy's not there.


So if you're a mom like me and you ever feel too tired to smile, remember this: You do more than feed, clean and fetch; you do what no one else can – you mother. And that's more than anything anyone else in the world can offer. 

2 comments :

snoopy said...

Just wow!

"To them, I am comfort giver, heart healer, love sharer, joy bringer, worldview shaper, memory maker, and so much more."

It is so true. We function and do the practical and it feels meaningless but it means oh-so-very-much!

Thanks for the reflection and reminder!

~Goingkookies~

Pam Song said...

ATTN: snoopy

– Gosh I just saw your comment! I haven't been receiving comment notification emails somehow. T_T

And yes! As mothers, we it sometimes feels like we do so much without achieving anything. But that's not true.

Glad this post spoke to you. <3

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