I'm Not Noisy

I'm just highly animated.

Please use the right terms and expressions
when describing me and my many varied sounds.
The correct word to use here is "animated".

Say it with me:
A-n-i-m-a-t-e-d • Ani-ma-ted • Animated

Use that. I'd be very appreciative.
I thank you for your kind cooperation.

Bang Bang

Men who cheat ought to be shot.

They don't know what they do to the women they go to bed with at night. The woman they only pretend to love. In my observation, the cheater's heart is incapable of true love. Because when you cheat, you don't love. There's no love in breaking the heart of the one who calls their heart yours. There's no love in scrubbing your tattooed name off their bloodied skin... and battered hearts.


Funny thing is how these cheaters believe that they're far better at the Love Game than the rest of us. They believe that they're capable of loving TWO people at one time and all of us who love just ONE person each are mere wannabe players who just can't keep up with the demands of the game. Their lifestyles shout this lie and it's a lie they tell themselves. Stupidly enough, they actually believe it. But, even more stupidly, they believe it alone.

Why?

Cos the rest of us loyal one-woman-man-one-man-woman people know that they're the idiots running on that artificial endorphin high... not us. We're the ones who will eventually come to have happy families, with children running on a lawn, playing frisbees with the family pet. We're the ones who will end up walking the park with someone dear when we're all wrinkled and grey. We're the ones who will be able to say that we've had Love in Life when we're 80.


They're the ones who will die with hundreds and hundreds of tattooed names on their bums and nobody to visit their grave sites. They're the ones who will live to a hundred (do people still live to a hundred these days?) without having ever really understanding the meaning of love. Without really experiencing the highs of being in love. And that high, my friends, is worth every fling and stray make-out session possibly known to man.

Come on, what's the loss of a few scattered kisses
when you get to keep a pair of good lips for life?

Yes, I say shoot the cheat.

Everything's Screwed-Up

People screw up their lives all the time. And generally, I'm pretty nice to Screwed-Ups. (Even if I do say so myself. *cough cough grin*) But when their screw-ups start screwing-up my life, that's where it gets nasty. Nastier so if the person used to be Screw and I was Up. Funny how the loss of one hyphen changes so much.

Email Of The Week

It wins hands down.

If not because of the absolutely superblisciouly
fantabulistic attachment that came with it,
it's because of the Power-to-the-Writer sign off.

Yes, we're smarter than art guys.

*ducks from flying colour pencils and crayons*

Spring Comes In The Last Week Of September

2 floors, 2 flights of stairs, 1 balcony,
1 landing area, 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms,
1 wet kitchen, 1 dry kitchen, 1 wash area,
1 breakfast area, 1 dining hall, 1 living room,
1 patio, 3 carpark lots and 1 laundry room

PLUS (+)


3 boys, 1 girl, 2 brooms,
1 dustpan and 1 vacuum cleaner


EQUALS (=)


Two words: SPRING CLEANING

Trust me, the words aren't as cheery as they sound. It's a LOT of hard work. Am tired out to the max, yo. Beh tahan liao. I am so darn pooped I could sleep till 2020 comes. But oddly enough, I'm equally as happy and contented. Goodnight, guys. Be good kids. GO TO BED.

After 3 Posts, I Realised You Deserve A 4th

Some time ago, somebody who cared a lot about me thought I needed this song. And she was right – I did. I was inspired, encouraged and uplifted. Recharged for whatever it was I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself for at that point in time. But right now, I think you should have a listen. So dear, this one's for you. I hope it works its magic on you like it did for me. You know I'd sing it to you myself but... there's a reason behind the choice I made to go down the career path I'm on – become a writer and not a singer.

*grin*

Nevertheless, I mean every word of it.

This is my wish for you.

Artist: Rascal Flatts
Song Title: My Wish


I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

[CHORUS]
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too
Yeah, this, is my wish

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget
All the ones who love you, in the place you left
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake
And you always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah, more than anything

[CHORUS]
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too
Yeah, this, is my wish

(Instrumental Break)

[CHORUS]
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too
Yeah, this, is my wish (my wish for you)
This is my wish (my wish for you)
Hope you know somebody loves you (my wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big (my wish for you)

"I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things (for you) too
Yeah, this, is my wish"

Wishing that life brings only The Best to you because women like you deserve no less than what The Best has to offer. I'm here. And know that I'm just a phone call away. Hearts.

----------------


Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.
Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.
– Author Unknown

The Next Three Posts III

Top 10 Perk-Me-Ups A Girl Can Have
WithOUT Need For A Man

1. I-can-take-this-pain-that-men-totally-can't-deal-with Indian-styled eyebrow threading.

2. A good rip-me-off-suck-me-dry-and-stomp-on-my-wallet-a-few
-hundred-thousand-times facial at any premier professional skincare outlet.

3. An hour-long massage at a well-known, highly-recognised body wellness centre that uses aromatherapy oils and practices superb massage kungfu.

4. An I-so-cannot-afford-this-luxury-but-I-don't-care-no-more-cos
-I'm-putting-ME-first spa treatment.

5. A good night out dancing, hanging out and just being silly with the girls.

6. A wholesome let's-all-sit-in-a-circle-and-b*tch-about-the-rest
-of-the-world sleepover.

7. A nice fat, juicy, greasy burger with oily fries on the side.

8. Ice-cream, ice-cream, ice-cream. And none of that 90sen Traffic Light, okay. Haagen Daz, mind you. We're talking ice-cream with an impressive price-tag and an overdose of style.

9. Keyword: Shopping. Think: Ecstasy of the purchase.

10. A chick flick night in with the girlfriends, to bawl your eyes out together at the sentuh parts and giggle like giddy-headed school girls with pigtails at 5-minute intervals.

-------------


Girl Power Quotes Just For Kicks


There are so many girls, and so few princes.
– Liza Minnell

. . .

"I've just done what I damn well wanted
and I've made enough money to support myself
and I ain't afraid of being alone."
– Katharine Hepburn

. . .

"You don't know a woman till you've met her in court."
– Norman Mailer

. . .

"I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex'
was coined by some woman to disarm
the man she was preparing to overwhelm."
– Ogden Nash

. . .

"The usual masculine disillusionment
is discovering that a woman has a brain."
– Margaret Mitchell

. . .

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
– Erica Jong

. . .

"My mom said the only reason men are alive
is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
– Tim Allen


-------------


We rocketh.

The Next Three Posts II

Funny how just yesterday I went looking for love quotes and ended up writing a bunch of heartbreak posts instead. Funny how I feel they ignite different feelings within me today then they did yesterday. Funny how I'm putting these half-written posts to use right now.

Funny how there's nothing funny about it.


-------------

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." – Author Unknown


"The heart is the only broken instrument that works." – T.E. Kalem


"Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away." – Adabella Radici


"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars." – Violeta Parra


"'Old times' never come back and I suppose it's just as well. What comes back is a new morning every day in the year, and that's better."
– George E. Woodberry


“Maybe I could have loved you better. Maybe you should have loved me more. Maybe our hearts were just next in line. Maybe everything breaks sometime.” – Jewel (American Singer/Songwriter)

-------------


Picking up the pieces isn't fun but it's something
we've all gotta do one time or another.

At least we don't gotta do it alone, yeh? =)

The Next Three Posts I

Oh, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.


---------------

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.” – Author Unknown

---------------

Sorry, for not being original, dear.

I'm not a poet, nor am I a love doctor;
neither am I a philosopher of any kind.

I just read a lot.

*grin*

You For Me And Me For You

We girls gotta stick together.

You're mine next weekend.

The next three posts are yours.

Hearts and hugs.

Mari Kita Bawa Tanglung

This will be random.

I miss lantern-making during Art Class. I miss carrying my signature goldfish glass-paper lantern. I miss the fun I had playing with matches and candles. I miss walking around dark neighbourhoods in small chaperoned groups. I miss "accidentally" bumping into friends' lanterns and watching their lanterns catch fire. I miss burning the ends of bamboo chopsticks till they glow like red hot coals. I miss pretending to play the accordion with traditional paper lanterns. I miss getting lost in mini marts lined with colourful, glitter-sprinkled, glass-paper lanterns from floor to ceiling.

But most of all, I miss the man
who always brought me tanglung shopping.

Time's flown by; it's been awhile.

The Mid-Autumn Festival (also known as the Lantern Festival in Malaysia) is one that celebrates the coming together of family and loved ones. A reunion of the people who matter most to one another, be it by blood or by choice. A celebration of the social groups, bodies and communities we were born attached to or have grown to become attached to over time.

May you have those whom you love
and those who love you with you tonight.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, guys. Have a good one.

McChicken + McChicken + McChicken

...is when Fun meets Fun meets Fun.

And that, my friends, equals Fun + Fun + Fun.

We should do it again sometime. =)

Smooooooth

I just had the weirdest on-the-road morning.

There I was heading into KL
and there were NO cars on the road.

*frowns*

Okay, fine. I exaggerated.

But it was like very, very few only. For real! I was surprised. I got to work in 30 minutes, yo. 30 minutes ONLY. That is NOT normal. In fact, it's a far, far cry from anything even remotely normal. Plus, it was a really smooth drive all the way into the city. So smooth that I ended up engaging the Auto Pilot mode in my system and relaxing all the way to work. This is the life lah, I tell you. No lousy drivers who change lanes without indicating, no rude honkers, no emergency brakers, and no road hoggers. So nice! Isn't that amazing? This doesn't feel like Malaysia wei.

Not Again

It feels like I need a holiday to unwind from my holiday.

I'm so badly tired out from traveling that I don't even know if my brain'll be able to jump start itself for work tomorrow morning. Pfft. Tomorrow? Sorry, correction – in 5 and a half lousy hours. Sigh.

Where did my holiday go?

I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired.

But if I'm really all that tired, then why can't I seem to fall asleep? Grrr. Tossing and turning in bed is NOT sleep. It doesn't count. Maybe I should get a prescription of sleeping pills from my GP. Just so I don't feel bad popping one before bedtime to knock me out till the sun shines on my behind. Sigh.

Weirdo Webbie

I guess some of you have been a tad more observant than I have *shy* and noticed the latest ad campaign that's been on Tinki Talks over the past week – the one with the weird-looking, uber-gloom-&-doom girl. (Oh, so pantang. Choi! Choi! Choi!) *points below*

Well, be deceived not by the girl who appears to ooze and radiate negative / depressive / choi-choi vibes. The ad's a pretty fun one! I've already been told by more than a couple of people since my return to Malaysia, that it's been entertaining them all week while my posts were embarrassingly erratic and shamefully sporadic. (If you must know, yours truly has sincerely repented her wrongdoing and made her peace with the rest of the blogosphere.)

Just do what she asks you to do.

Not sure how?
Just roll your cursor over her face.

Over and over and over again.

As you can see, the more you mess with her face, the happier her expression becomes. (So weird, right?) And just when you finally get her smiling like a highly insomniac goof ball on dope, she disappears (as teasers always do). Bleh. So potong steam.

Nevertheless, kudos, Walls.

I LURVE interactive ad campaigns.

Pam Pulls A Cheeky Face And Says Pointedly

"Your hearts are joined though your hands may not yet be."
– pamsong, 23 September 2007


----------


*wink wink*

More than friends; less than lovers.

*cough cough*

This is the best part. Enjoy it.

*wiggles eyebrows*

Thursdays rock.

*big-ass toothy grin*


----------


NOTE: Private joke. Reader understanding not entirely necessary.

They Say That Girls Talk

I couldn't agree more.

And really, the rumours are true. We do talk about anything and everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G under the sun, across the seas, over the mountains and through the valleys. We talk; no holds barred. And guys, you really can't blame us for it. It's not like you bother to even pretend to listen when we wanna talk our hearts out so it's pretty much unavoidable that when we meet (and, when I think about it,... even when we don't), we talk to make up for the lost words we've let dissolve into nothingness when stuck in the presence of you men.

*blink blink*

See, I'm talking so much I already can't remember
what it was I wanted to say in the first place. Hmmm.

*thinking thinking*

Oh yes! Girls talk about everything.

...Especially when they're depressingly alone and terribly bored (bad, bad, bad combination) whilst headed for KL in a slow-moving bus that's going along the North-South Expressway.

Check out this SMS conversation I had with a girlfriend: -

pamsong: I need to pee but the bus is still moving. How?

Girlfriend: Suck it in baby. Suck it in. (Yuck. Like, hello. No better word than suck ah?)

pamsong: Hard. I'm having difficulty concentrating on using the correct bladder gears. Shit.

Girlfriend: Or you could open the window right behind the bus and let it all go! Sounds more macho. I'm rooting for that.

pamsong: You're a genius, woman! I've always wanted to try that. Think I'll give it a go. Will update.

Girlfriend: Okay, okay. Got a bottle? :D

pamsong: *silence*

Girlfriend: How's the progress? Any help? Eh, maybe the bus conductors' got a better idea. I'm sure he's been thru rougher times!

pamsong: He wasn't much help. No, no. Not very creative, these people. Tsk tsk. Anyway, we got pulled over by PLUS and I got a stern warning bout peeing from moving vehicles. Thank goodness for lacy undies or else I'd probably have been served a hefty fine already. I asked – if the vehicle not moving can? They say – subject to debate. How interesting. Think I shouldn't risk it, though. Only legally allocated, PLUS-approved potty stops for me from now on. I'm at Rawang.

Girlfriend: Haha!! Coming coming :)

pamsong: *after 10 minutes of silence and pee-sucking* I've arrived. I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I need to pee, I so so so need to pee.

I put myself through the weirdest conversations.
Or maybe it's just cos I have the weirdest friends.

Yoo-hooo!

I can't believe I'm back. Oh, happy happy joy joy!

Sorta.

I mean, the food is good (it's barely been half a day and I've already had my fill of Hokkien Mee, Laksa, Mee Goreng and Duck Soup Bee Hoon) and all that, but why in the world is it so bloody hot and humid here? Damn beh tahan, man. My skin is screaming for a cool breeze (even one that freezes me over) and the blood running through my veins is threatening to boil over.

Aarrggghh!

How did I ever live like this?! Such conditions are borderline inhumane. And why, Why, WHY is it that the air-conditioning system doesn't seem to be working as well as it used to?! Tell me it's psychological or all in my head and I'll scream till your ear drums go down on their non-existent knees to beg me for mercy. Nothing's doing the trick – not even with the fan blowing at High speed.

Ugh. I need an ice bath.

On an entirely different note: Posts comin'. Hold yer horses.

The Bourne Ultimatum

All he wanted to do was disappear. But where's the fun in that, right? No butt-kicking. No cars being blown up. No dead men to line the street. No blood. No gore. Equals no fun.

Oh, and of course it also means No Money
for the nice folks at Universal Pictures.

*cough*

So where was I? Oh yes, the the man wanted to disappear and get on with life with his sweetheart. But three movies later, he's still being hunted by the very people who've made him who he is and he's lost the love of his life to the killers on his tail.


We watched him survive an assassination attempt on his life after his survival was ascertained by parties he was once associated and affiliated with in The Bourne Identity.




We saw him put the very skills that cause him his pain and misery to his advantage in order to survive and escape his ever-returning, highly-haunting, deeply-troubling past in The Bourne Supremacy.




And now, we see him making his way all over the world (and kicking butt while he's at it) with only one thing in mind: to go back to the beginning and find out how he got into this action-packed mess in the first place in The Bourne Ultimatum.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Check that muscle man out, man.
Jason Bourne would so neuter/kick/whoop/smoke James Bond's arse.

Bond has some major bucking up to do cos Bourne's the way to go if you're DVD-hunting at Batu Ferringhi. No, no, wait. Scratch that. Splurge a little for good action and watch The Bourne Ultimatum at the cinemas. The big screen's the way, baby! Only then do you head up to Batu Ferringhi and get the DVD for RM4 (DVDs allow you to forward and rewind those jaw-breaking sessions as many times as you'd like and you even have the option of slowing the fighting scenes down for a better look). You can purchase Casino Royale if they run out of The Bourne Ultimatum and you're a millionaire with money to burn and no friends to hang out with.

Mogok!

I'm a heartbeat away from screaming the house down
before heading out to parade the streets with boards
in a full-fledged frustration-driven demonstration.

I've just been told that petrol prices is set to be on the rise again. Like helloooooo!?! We're not made of money, you know. I don't happen to poop gold bars. AARRRGGHHH! I can't take this.

*blink blink*

The first step to solving a problem is to realise that you have one. I've come to realise that running-out-of-Ringgit-driven stress management is not my forte. First Step – CHECK! This is why women like me need personal banking assistants and personal accoutants. Second Step – CHECK again! And before I digress too much...

Does anybody know if this is true?!

EDIT: Just so you know, I'll be using recycled cardboard cereal boxes for mogok boards. Save money. It's not like Petronas is gonna help me with that, right?

I Live To Learn

Over the past 4 and a half days, I've learned that/to...

1. Black leggings do shit in keeping your legs warm.

2. The wind is no respecter of a woman's skirt.

3. Never leave home without a jacket.

4. It's not the temperature that kills, it's the wind.

5. The skies are always blue behind the clouds.

6. Caring for the aged is a ministry that involves being called for.

7. 30 minutes is too long a time for a bath.

8. You should never wash your hair more than twice a day.

9. Having different plug points here and at home is a pain.

10. Water straight from the tap tastes funky.

11. Carpeted flooring in the bedroom rocks.

12. When you've got a big family, you have to get a BIG car.

13. The heater is the cold man's greatest invention.

14. 10 cars traveling at 100kph on a 5-lane road is considered a jam.

15. Blinkers on cars and safety belts in cars are there for a reason.

16. Good photography is an art.

17. The Australian accent is unbelievably melodious.

18. I have a strange affinity towards patterned toilet paper.

19. Pooing becomes a pain when done on foreign toilet seats.

20. My hair is no longer un-style-able. YES! YES! YES! =)

21. Flowers that grow along the city streets are the closest one can get to wildflowers.

Will be back to expand this list in time. Stay tuned.

30 Minutes Does It

I've been timed and told that I take 30-minute baths.

Instructions For A Satisfactory 30 Minute Bath

1^st & 2^nd minute: Step into the shower, turn on the Hot & Cold water faucets and get the water temperature right in preparation for your impending bath. For safety purposes, be sure to only temperature-test the bath water with your fingertips.

3^rd & 4^th minute: Stand directly under the shower and let the water run down the length of your body from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. Tilt your head back so that the water makes its way down your face. Breathe through your mouth to avoid dying from inhalation of bath water.

5^th to 8^th minute: Pick up your shampoo bottle and squeeze a dollop the size of a tablespoon into your palm. Slowly massage shampoo into your hair and onto your scalp. Close eyes while shampooing to increase feelings of satisfaction.

9^th & 10^th minute: Rinse hair throughly. To ensure that all suds have been rinsed from your hair, look down at the water that's pooling at your feet. If it's clear, you've done well. If it's bubbly, rinse again, you dirt bag.

11^th & 12^th minute: Get distracted and start playing with water for a little while. Enjoy the flow of warm water that's running across your skin. Mmm. Feel it. Let the water embrace you. Let the warmth seep into your soul.

13^th to 16^th minute: Wash your face (with face wash, not body wash). Dig your nose and remove all boogers. They tend to adopt a jelly-like texture in warm water so it should be easy enough for you to handle even with your other hand holding the shower head steady.

17^th to 19^th minute: Grab some that bar of soap or squeeze some body wash into your hands. (Personally, I think that bar soaps aren't as self-cleansing as the manufacturers would like you to think they are. Hence, if you're not the only one using it, I'd recommend Johnson's pH5.5 body wash.) Work up the suds into a good lather and wash yourself all over. Try making sure that you don't miss a spot. It's just gross if you do.

20^th to 22^nd minute: Rinse, rinse, rinse and rinse some more. Look down and do that no-bubbles-on-the-water check, just like before. Ensure that the skin between the folds of your body (i.e. underarms, behind the ears, behind your knees, between your toes, etc...) isn't home to dirt and soap.

23^rd to 25^th minute: Take some time out to play with water again. This is what I'd like to call the second bath time out. The first was after your shampoo.

26^th to 28^th minute: Give your body one last rinsing – a good one, from head to toe. This is your final chance to rid your body of grime and dirt. If you wanna give your pits a whiff, give it a good one right now because after this step, there's no turning back. Should you find that your pits fail the whiff test, knock yourself over the head and repeat all steps from the 17^th minute onwards.

29^th & 30^th minute: After you're nice and clean, always look around and ensure that you leave the shower stall as you entered it. Replace all shampoo, conditioner, face wash and body wash bottles and give the floor a good once over with water. When you're done with that, give your body another final rinse and turn off the faucets (turn off the warm water first, you doofus) and you're good to go!

And that, my friends, is how you make 30-minute baths count.

She's Freaky But I Like It

"Those flashing lights come from everywhere where where"
– Justin Timberlake, LoveStoned/I Think She Knows


----------------

Girl: Wait a minute, wait a minute. When did you hear that song?

Boy: Why you ask me such a weird question?

Girl: No lah, it's just weird that I sing it in my head then I hear you singing it out loud lah.

Boy: I also hear you sing wat.

Girl: Dun bluff; where got!? I never sing also.

Boy: I hear it in my heart.

Awww.

Somebody, please catch me while I fall from wobbly knees.

It Started At The Very Beginning

I so know that I'm going to be all over the place in this post.
That's the price I pay for not posting when I'm still "in the zone".

Bleh.


-------------

Two nights ago, I discovered that the North-South Expressway
isn't exactly the quietest of places past the stroke of midnight.

Grumble, rant, rave, complain and whine through the night, I most certainly could have. Kick up a fuss and indulge myself in extremist Juvenile-ism – well, there's that possibility, too. But where's the fun in sitting in the middle of a darkened highway with speeding cars zooming by, with an ugly frown plastered across my forehead!? No way! Kilometer 234.5 has got to be cooler than that.


Blinking firefly butts aglow in the dark of the night. • A great expanse of brilliant star-filled skies above me. • Cool night air – sometimes slowly, sometimes swiftly – breezing by. • Silence broken only by the sound of crickets chirping in the hills behind me.

Ahhh, those were the highlights of my night while standing beside my luggage by the roadside. To have everything doused in peaceful tranquility if not for the constant flashing of hazard lights.


Everybody flashes their headlights at stranded travelers but nobody ever makes an effort to pull over to help. How truly Malaysian of us. It made me think, you know. Breaking down in the middle of nowhere isn't the most ideal of situations to be in but doesn't have to be the worst thing in the world. Just don't do it alone, and I say that in the travel and emotional sense... but that's not what I wanna talk about right now. Haha.

What I really wanna ask is this:

Is your life and its experiences
leaving you half full or half empty?

You decide.

Back Where I Started

2 years, 3 months and 23 days have passed since I took a break from the life I led, and flew away for a holiday abroad in hopes of clearing my mind and getting my life back on the right track. 16 days of time away from the unbearable Malaysian heat and badly polluted air. 16 whole days – it seemed long at the time but in actuality, it only amounts to 4% of the days I made it through that year. Little did I know that that trip ended up turning out to be longer a journey than I expected – one that marked the beginning of all things new for me and led me onto the colourful path to Self Discovery.

That trip also marked the day I started writing on Tinki Talks,
then known as Ramblings of a Post Teenager.

It's pretty hard to believe that 2 years, 3 months and 22 days later, I'm back where I started. Never thought I'd see the day my feet touch the ground I'm on this very moment. And actually, I'm glad I'm able to say that I've come a long way since then. That's how things should be, right? That we grow up, move on... and be happy living the life we lead. The key lies in being happy – in finding joy in the situations and circumstances we stupidly jump into or forcefully get thrown into. That's the only way things should be.


Looking back, I'm glad I started blogging. Had I not made my way to where I am today then, I'd not have the time or be in the right frame of mind to start blogging. It's because of that that I've had the chance to share the many little parts of myself and my life with all of you. My world, my life, my joys, my sadness, my concerns, my thoughts – all are preserved in this online scribble pad I slowly but surely built for myself from the 25th of May 2005. I've crafted this space with my very life and its essence is everything that makes me who I am today.


Honestly, looking back in retrospect, I don't think I did too badly in keeping up with Life's sashay after all. Sure, I tripped a couple of times when it launched into the Quickstep without prior warning but it's not like I fell on my face and got disfigured for life or anything. I think I still made it out okay – bad hair, geeky glasses and all.

So guys, this is me – the writer of Tinki Talks – signing off with many thanks to you – the readers of Tinki Talks – for reading all this while and for journeying along with me.

2 years, 3 months and 23 days, bay-beh!
And many more years, months and days to come.

It doesn't feel like it's been that long but it has.
Calendars don't lie... and neither do blogs.

I checked.

*smile*

Tinki Talks Says...

I'm home!

Mastery Of The Art

Class: Sleep 101, Lesson 1
Text: The Art of Sleep; Chapter 1, Page 3.

KNOW THE TECHNICAL TERMS INVOLVED
IN THE STUDY OF THE ART OF SLEEP

Sleep: A condition of body and mind such as that
which typically recurs for several hours every night,
in which the nervous system is relatively inactive,
the eyes closed, the postural muscles relaxed,
and consciousness practically suspended.

Sleepable: Possessing the ability to sleep.

Sleepability: The state of being able to sleep.

----------

Hello everybody, and welcome to Sleep 101.

If you didn't already know, my name is Tinki
and I will be your professor for the day.

That being said, time is precious so let's not dilly dally any more than we really have to and get down to learning about Sleep, the many forces that come into play when Sleep is manipulated, how you can pro-actively make Sleep work for you and in your life, as well as your hand in dealing with the much-coveted Sleep card.

You see, after years of achieving a high sleepability to non-sleepability ratio, I discovered that Sleep was my innate gift. It was my thing. Little did I know that it would one day become my forte and craft. Watch me make my way to fame, keep your eyes on this page and learn well.

That's all for today's lesson.

Now, as a note on the side...

Boys and girls, if you ever need help sleeping, just give me a call and be prepared to embrace my mastery of the art through the lecture of a lifetime. It's all about utilizing and manipulating System Saiko to the best of your ability and making it work for you. Welcome that, let it wholly consume you, and believe you me, Sleep will soon be at your mercy. Call and it shall come. Banish it to eternal damnation and it shies away forever. The call is yours to make, not Sleep's.

Now, for some self-directed puffery to end this session.

I managed two whole hours of sleep last night. See? I am a highly sleepable individual and I say this with years of sleep experience under my belt. If any of your friends didn't make it for this lecture, do not hesitate to refer them to my website: tinkitalks.blogspot.com, or simply get them to call my toll free line at 1-800-isleep. Alternatively, my book "Anyone Can Sleep" is now on sale at all major bookstores near you. Grab your copy today.

Saiko Diri

I can do it. I love rushing work especially when I've not had enough sleep the night before. I have so much strength and energy to spare. I'd do jumping jacks if I had the time and space. Push-ups, too. And a couple of chin-ups while I'm at it. I do not need rest. I am not tired. I am not sleepy. I am not zonked. I am not exhausted. I am not whipped. I am not pooped. I am not tuckered out. I am not fatigued.

I. Feel. Like. Working.

*blink blink*

This is not working.

Sleep Deprivation Bites

I feel brain dead.

I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.

I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.

If there was a more interesting way to say this, I'd use it.
Maybe there is; maybe there isn't – my brain can't tell no more.





I'm trying this tonight. It had better work.

Why?

All's well and good in Tinki Land cos I finally found the tee.
Phew. Problem solved, matter settled, case closed... right?

WRONG. You bluff.

If so, then why can't I fall asleep?

Sleeping In Da Pink

Where is that blasted tee?!

I know I hung it up to dry. I know, I know, I know I did... for sure! Heck, I can boldly promise you that I did lah. I saw it with my own eyes and felt it with my own two hands. I'd almost guarantee it – hand over heart – in half a heartbeat if it really came down to it. I KNOW where that tee is supposed to be even right NOW.

But it isn't where it's supposed to be.
WHY!? Darn it, how to go to bed liddat!?

ROAR!!!

WHY can't I find it, and WHY can't I
just go to bed without finding it!?

Grrr.

I'm so anal it kills me. Stupid pink tee.

Down, Down, Down And Down Some More

Apples, not oranges. Puppies, not dogs. Winning, not losing. Pizza, not burger. Nuggets, not fries. Cassettes, not CDs. Books, not magazines. Errors, not mistakes. Bee hoon, not koay teow. Different, not same. Moon, not sun. Cheezels, not Twisties. Vincci, not Nose. Little, not tiny. Irresistible, not resistible. Zippo, not lighters. Macbooks, not PCs. Dell, not Toshiba. Green Day, not Blink182. Jazz, not Alternative. Tees, not T-shirts. Floors not ceilings. Baskin Robbins, not ice-cream. Zz-ing, not waking. SS15, not USJ.

I think my IQ like just dropped by like,
you know, like 100 points over supper.

Sports? What's That?

My 2006-Christmas-pressie handbag has gradually been dying on me and it's given me more than enough reason to shop for a new one. That being said, I've been on the hunt for awhile now but nothing ever called out to me. Heck, not even during the Malaysia Mega Sale Carnival, did I find anything I liked. No dying-to-have chills ran down my spine, and definitely no tidal waves of that-bag-is-MINE hit me throughout the sale season. Nothing. As the months drew by, I eventually resigned myself to the fact that perhaps only my travel destination would present me with an array of choices that would cause desire to build within me.


But today... Oh, what a glorious day. For today, I stumbled upon one that I was finally willing to part with my money for. Whoopie! Check out my new Nike Sports Components Shoulder Bag.

I like! I like! I like!

Believe you me, if you even had the slightest inkling of how particular I am about getting stuff – colour, material, comfort level, texture, size, weight, shape and price consideration included – you'd understand how amazing this find is. It really is an occassion to celebrate and party the night away. And I got it for 20% off the normal price! What a bargain, eh? Yay, me!


The best part is this: Now, I can rest assured and just-go in peace when I'm out of the country because I have a bag that doesn't distribute its contents all over the ground as I travel. Wheee! Camera, purse and phone, worry not for you will be as safe as can be.

*cough*

No sports stuff allowed in bag, thank you.

Ring Ring... Hello?

I think there's need for me to revise my keep-in-touch habits. It gets really depressing when friends go off spouting a whole load of rubbish when you call, just cos they're stunned silly by your sudden effort to pull an act of reemergence and jump right back into their lives. Let me conversationally illustrate my point with a couple of real-life, rip-my-heart-out-while-you're-at-it scenarios:

SCENARIO 1

Pam Song: Hello?

Friend 1: Gong Xi Fa Cai.

Pam Song: *stops to think* Huh?

Friend 1: Yes, it's been that long.

Pam Song: *blink blink* -_-

SCENARIO 2

Pam Song: Hel...

Friend 2: Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Pam Song: Uh, hello?

Friend 2: Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Pam Song: WEI!

Friend 2: Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't believe you're calling me. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my g... *pause* What do you want from me?

Pam Song: *blink blink* -_-


You'd think that with an entire host of modern communication technology play things like email, mobile calling capabilities, SMS and now PacMee, it'd have upped my comm cum keep-in-touch skills a notch. Sigh. I don't think it did. And speaking from experience... *cough* ...TWICE... *cough cough* ...it looks like my friends don't think it did anything to boost my comm skills either. Bummer.

Compromised Buds Perhaps?

Seafood dinner with crabs, prawns, mantis shrimp, coconut drink and the like in a joint effort to build good relations between members of the team (pfft... yeah, right) and all I remember really enjoying throughout the meal is the kacang appetizer that came before the other more expensive, supposedly tastier dishes.

What is wrong with me?!

Follow Me

*gushes over-excitedly*

Oh my goodness, guys, this THE most revolutionary widget EVER! You now have the option to receive SMS updates whenever I post or make any updates on Tinki Talks!!! How great is that!?

I've subscribed to this social networking website – interestingly named PacMee.com – that's affiliated with Maxis and Hotlink. All I have to do is send an update from my mobile to this site each time I update Tinki Talks and them notification SMS' will go flying out to you. And of course, in this day and age, I'm sure having a mobile as a permanent accessory is a must-have, right? You savvy savvy super cool readers, you. *snort* So, yeah. That's what I will do, and that's what you'll get. Easy peasy Pacman squeeze me.


Now, all YOU have to do is check out the widget placed under my profile. It's real simple. Just roll your cursor over the cute cute that's there. Instructions are clearly stated and you'll soon see what you are to do in order to... *ahem* ...follow me. Don't worry too much about the costs involved, though. It doesn't cost a bomb for you to get your Tinki Talks updates. SMS notification charges are a ridiculous RM0.25 a MONTH! How crazy fantastic is that?! Huh? Huh!? I love it lah. Go do, yah?

Random Thoughts To Quell The Restless Mind

Wishing for things to happen to you
and making things happen for you
are two very vastly different things.

. . .

There's what is... and there's what if.

. . .

The brave never leave mid-fight;
the wise always know when to stop fighting.


-------------

Insomnia striking the night before a work day – a Monday, no less – isn't exactly the most desirable of situations to be in. Nope, not even close. I really wish my mind had an 'On/Off' switch I could just flip on my way to bed. You know, like a neat button I could press that puts my brain into sleep mode. One that's ideally conveniently positioned together with the other switches on my bedside table. But... no such invention from the brainiacs of humankind yet. Tough luck. For me.

Sigh.

Oh, please, please, please, let me fall asleep.

Got Me A Penniless Breather

It's been awhile since I've had a weekend in with zero traveling involved – and a whole weekend in alone with absolutely no cash on hand, no less. Oddly enough, I feel richly rewarded for having some Me Time at long last. Haha.


To wake up just whenever I feel like it. To prune under the shower for as long as I want to. To take as long as I want when choosing my outfit for the day (pajama pants and a lazy tee). To eat whenever my tummy calls for a bite. To laze in front of the telly with a giant mug of Ribena in hand, watch reruns and listen to THE Guru of OTJ speak. To drown myself in drama and celebrity goss on E! without having to keep track of time. To do as many loads of laundry as I want to. To have all the time in the world to colour coordinate my pegs when I hang up the clothes to dry. To listen to as much Jazz and Broadway as I want to while blogging my heart out.

Mmm. Heaven.

I love lazy weekends. I get to feel like a million bucks without even having to spend a dime (sen just sounds so cheapo). Got me thinking – a crime on a day like this, I know – how materialistic am I, really? I mean, we can't deny the importance of money in life. It's a necessity we all need in order to survive this money-faced, blood-sucking world we live in. But where's that thin line that separates mere necessity from OTT banknote worshiping? Where's that line for me?


So, thanks to the wonders of modern technology and the World Wide Web, I found a tickle test to answer my self-directed, money-related question: Are You A Material Girl?

Awww, no wonder I like days in...
...even with an empty wallet.

*pats self on back*

Midnight Monkey Business

Drive me crazy, why don't you.
Okay, I will. Just cos I asked for it.


----------

Tinki: Sigh.

Dark Queen: Sigh wat sigh? Sleep lah you. Wat time eh di?

Tinki: Cannot la. Dunno why also. Just cannot. So how now?

Dark Queen: No how. Wat "how" you wan? Just try lah. Haiyo.

Tinki: I trying lah! But still cannot wat. Wat you wan me to do?

Dark Queen: Haiyo, why so hard wan you?

Tinki: You same with me wat. If I hard means you also hard lah!

Dark Queen: Wa wa wa. Late night wanna cari gaduh for syok ah? That wan my job lah. You at least pretend-pretend nice can bo? Got people read lah. Make me look damn loser cos cannot ganas.

Tinki: Sorry sorry. Tired ma. Mang cang already.

Dark Queen: You mang cang only means tua liap ah?

Tinki: Haiyo, enough lah you. Sigh.

Dark Queen: Sigh wat sigh? Sleep lah you. Wat time eh di?

----------


Hmmm.

I don't think I'm very nice to myself.
I should really try being nicer.

*blink blink*

Help.

Peeve Me Twice, Shame On You

Peeve 1: People who walk like they own the road we drive on deserve to die gruesome deaths that include flying limbs and all-direction-spraying blood. When you see a car coming your way, RUN. This ain't Singapore. We don't care if pedestrians legally get right of way. Malaysian Way superceedes Right of Way any day.

Peeve 2: Zitty char bos with diamanté pimples and unsightly pock marks on their backs should be stripped of their license to own barebacked dresses/tops. Talk about breaching the Gross Scale by a few gazillion points. Ugh. *shiver* Overstep the low-back line and be dragged off to Pudu Jail for a FREE night's stay, courtesy of the MFPF (Malaysian Fashion Police Force).

------------


I'm thinking I get peeved a little too easily for my own good.

The Poppin' Has Got To Stop!

It ain't cool when work encroaches (barges in, lands flat on my chest, crushes my ribs, deflates my lungs and suffocates me half to death, more likely) into my very-sacred-and-currently-terribly-insufficient Me Time. Not cool at all.

They say that advertising isn't a 9 to 5 job. And today, I officially got a one-up from Mere Convert. Today, I became a Firm Believer. From today forth, I shall preach the word: With advertising, there's just no escaping work. (Not that that's a bad thing, of course. *grin*)

O.M.G.

I. Have. The. Best. Hairstylist. On. The. Planet.

This man makes me love being
all-girl with long, streaked hair.

Sorry. This is a really bad pic. You can hardly see the hair, thanks to my ridiculous blogging ideals and principles. Was hoping I wouldn't have to pixelate myself. Am way too lazy to do that much clicking on a Saturday afternoon. Sigh. No such luck. But I'll do it. Why? Cos...

I love my hair!!!



Plus, my hairstylist deserves credit
and some online, cyber-styled promotion.

I swear by the man and his silver scissors, I do.
He makes porcupines wish they had curls just like mine.

Snip Snip? Maybe.

Been on a week-and-a-half-long rant about my hair and its condition. It's become so – what's the word, what's the word – abandoned. Sigh. Crowning glory, it is no longer. My curls have been reduced to pathetic ringlets that resemble my grandmother's 20-year-old mop. Some revamping, this mane needs. It's something I've dearly desired. A change in length, colour or style, I haven't yet decided. We'll see what the King of Crop-&-Crops suggests in exactly 42 minutes.

There Can't Be Checks If There Isn't A List

Uh oh, problem – I don't have a list.

Not a cool-looking one I can click on that's scribble-free, at least. Sigh. I so have to get aboard the Digital Checklist Ship. I've grown way too attached to the traditional pen-and-paper method and that, my friends, is a bad, bad, shameful thing. I've come to realise that my affinity towards hearing my pen scratch on thin sheets of fiber is killing the trees. Tsk tsk me. Oh, such hypocrisy.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes. My lack of a list; my problem.

But a problem of the good kind, I must say.
The trunk is open. The fun begins tonight.

5 Days, 8 Hours, 42 Minutes, 1 Second

...and counting.

It'sgonnabegreat. It'sgonnabegreat. It'sgonnabegreat.

*deep breath*

It's gonna be great.

*smile*

Dangerous Games People Play

So here's how the story goes...

It all started with a gift. And of course, despite what the common folk may think, many adventures do begin with small nudges and tender prods from the people around us, be it in the form of a poke in the rib or an elbow in the side. In this case, my gentle jog came in the form of a pink paper lantern.

Ahhh, Mid-Autumn Festival draws near. How nice.

But wait. What's a lantern without a flame?

We need candles! Lots and lots of colourful candles!




And a light or the candles would prove
to be pretty but pretty useless as well.




For once (quite literally), the smokers around me
turned out to be pretty useful company to have.




Tada!

Haha.

And don't you dare think me nuts for lighting my lantern at the office. All the other cool *cough cough*, hotshot, high-flying people at work did it, too! Hah!

See? Cool people always light their lanterns.

Try-hard ones put them under other lights
in an attempt to do the cool thang
without really being cool enough to do it right.





And lame ones leave them dark and gloomy
under S&M rabbits that have long become
the has-beens of fun and laughter among colleagues.

Wanna know why this pic doesn't look as dark and as gloomy as I say it is? It's cos of the photographer and her exceptional photography skills. They say that such remarkable (yet somewhat innate) abilities cannot really be taught. Don't feel too bad about yourselves though, guys. There are many of you out there. You are not alone. Plus, there's always Getty Images.

*grin*

Okay okay. I'll lighten up on the load of crap I've been pilling into this blog. At least I'll try. Cut me some slack, alright? I've been having some pretty long days. Having said that, I think I'll stop squeezing my brain for whatever's left of it. Enjoy the pics.

Okay, I lied. Who am I kidding?! I LOVE writing!

Haha. Lame.

Anyway, today's lesson is this:
If you're gonna be lighting candles in a carpeted office,
be sure to have a lung full of air and be quick on your feet.

Why? Cos some lanterns burn.





*snicker*

So fun! I feel like a kid all over again. Wheee!
I'll definitely be doing this again sometime.