Gender Bender

I just had a guy spend two hours teaching me
the intricacies of understanding women. -_-

How embarrassing is that?!

Sigh.

But it's always sorta been that way with me, ya know? I don't like being "the girl". I know how many ladies use their gender to their advantage nowadays. They freely say stuff like, "I can't help behaving this way. I'm PMS-ing, okay. Can't you be more understanding!?" "It wasn't me. It was my hormones." And sure, I believe that sometimes, these lines are more than just mere excuses. They're pretty darn real if you're caught helpless in one of them PMS-induced situations. (Girls, you know what I'm talking about, don't you?)


But I guess the thing about me is that I don't like it when I find myself dishing out unhealthy portions of b*tch fits. I don't like it when I'm temperamental or emo for no reason at all. I don't like it when I bite, roar or rant without cause. (To others, I mean. Ranting on my blog is a different thing altogether.) But I do it when everything else feels too much to take. When I'm overwhelmed by the things that I'm made to face or am expected to put up with.


Oh, and I really don't like the person I become when I'm tired, hungry, stressed, annoyed or irritated. (Cos she's a real pain in the butt, if you ask me.) And admittedly, I'm just that at times – the person I don't like and can't stand. And when I finally succeed in dragging myself out of the emotional turmoil and appear outside the PMS gutter, the knowledge that I've been a b*tch then makes me feel even crappier. Even after I've gotten over the emotional mess I was in. Cos by then, everything else has become unpleasant and uncomfortable. And I've to bury my pride and make my rounds of "sorries". Bleh.


That being said, I don't like being on the receiving end of unnecessary drama, steaming with emo nonsense either. I don't like it one bit. Hate it, in fact. Cos I don't like dealing with messy stuff like that. I'd rather run as far as my legs can take me. Or hang up. Or press Delete. But this is the human emotion we're talking about. The very essence of our being alive. And the human emotion is messy. And unavoidable, for that matter. *cringe*


So... I guess that's what it's gonna be for me – acceptance and acknowledgement on my part, of the unavoidable. I need to accept that people get emo sometimes and they don't necessarily make the most sense or are the most reasonable of people when they do. Then, I need to master the fine art of PR-ing for a good cause, and I need to empathise more when it comes to my dealing with others. (Or so the sifu tells me.) I need to learn how to deal with whatever that gets thrown my way or at least die trying.

Sigh.

So suck. So, so very many the suck.

You know, it's messed up days like this that I wish I was a boy. And heck, in spite of what Tim Tams says, I think I'd have made a kick-ass boy. So there.