I decided pretty early on – way before my baby was born – that I would work from home as I mother. I thought it meant that I'd get the best of both worlds – self-fulfilment from keeping my career going and earning a living to supplement my self-esteem, as well as getting to play the perfect got-it-together mom and take care of my son myself. But now that my son is born and "freelance + motherhood" is actually a reality... well, I must admit that it's not really going the way I planned it to. :-/
For one, I'm always tired. Like, a-l-w-a-y-s. My brain is fried and the accumulated lack of sleep is really beginning to take its toll so getting into the right head space for work, is difficult. Plus, whenever the baby feeds, that's exactly when an important email comes in and needs to be answered immediately. Whenever I'm on a Skype conference call, that's exactly when my baby cries. Whenever I'm out grocery shopping with the baby on hand, that's exactly when the information I've been waiting for all morning finally comes in and work needs to commence chop chop.
The two worlds I've taken on are clashing horribly and sometimes, I just feel I made the wrong decision to try to be Superwoman and do both. At this point in time, knowing what I know now, I say choose one or the other. Don't be greedy. Either work full time then come home and enjoy the baby, or be a stay at home mom with no regrets. Cos doing both, as I've come to know now, is just madness.