"That Look"

You know how single ladies tend to have "peak periods" of male interest at some point or another in their lifetimes? (It's like a cycle in her life when she's suddenly the hottest chick on the block to every raging male in her side of town. =p) Well, it's been awhile since I've felt like I was... "peaking", you know? Awhile since I've been treated like a lady in chivalrous ways, awhile since I've had the gaze of adoring eyes fall upon me, and looong while since I've been on the receiving end of... *ahem ahem* ..."that look".

"Just once I wish someone would look at me the way my best friends' husbands look at them. I don’t want to BE with any of them, I just want that look. Just once. And I am scared it’s never going to happen for me."

– Anonymous via Secret Project on Brandy Is Magic

Only problem is – like Mrs Anonymous Wife up there – there is now only one legal source for "that look" for me. *snorts* And since that particular source of mine is like, in a land far far away from me 5 days a week (T_T) I've pretty much been running on a dried up love tank filled with dusty old looks of yesterdays past. Boo hoo. Not very ego-boosting when you think about it, I suppose. And definitely not very healthy in the long run.


But then again, I guess it's natural to feel insecure sometimes. Even when you're married to someone who's committed his life – his all – to you for better or for worse, in good times and through bad. But still, bad hair days, pimply skin, stretch marks – whatever your pain-in-the-butt insecurity is, it's there. Gnawing at your self-worth and chipping away at your self-esteem, day in and day out. Standing in the way of you feeling appreciated, admired and adored by the people around you; that special someone included.

Sigh.

I miss "that look"; I want it back.