Sunday, December 27, 2009

For Good

Artists: Idina Menzel [Elphaba] & Kristin Chenoweth [Glinda]
Song Title: For Good (Soundtrack from the Broadway Musical, "Wicked." Click here for Wicked The Musical's official site.)


[Elphaba]
I'm limited
Just look at me, I'm limited
And just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us, now it's up to you

[Glinda]
I've heard it said that people come into our lives
For a reason – bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good

[Elphaba]
It well may be that we will never meet again
In this lifetime, so let me say before we part
So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine by being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

[Glinda]
Because I knew you

[Glinda & Elphaba]
I have been changed for good

[Elphaba]
And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

[Glinda]
But then, I guess we know there's blame to share

[Glinda & Elphaba]
And none of it seems to matter anymore

[Glinda] (Elphaba)
Like a comet pulled from orbit (Like a ship blown off its mooring)
As it passes a sun (By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder (Like a seed dropped by)
Half-way through the wood (A bird in the wood)

[Glinda & Elphaba]
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better

[Glinda]
And because I knew you

[Elphaba]
Because I knew you

[Glinda & Elphaba]
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good






"I've heard it said that people come into our lives
For a reason – bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you"


So much of the person I am today is the by-product of my having met you. Of having spent time with you. Of having been with you. Of having shared almost a third of my life with you. And I know that because of you and the time we'd been blessed with, I've learned, I've grown, and I've matured.


"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better
And because I knew you, because I knew you
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good"


Our many years together and all that we've been through in the time that we've been given, has changed me for good. And I choose to believe that because I knew you, that change has been for the better.


"So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart"


It's no exaggeration when I say that I am who I am today because of you. Your imprint on my life, I see so clearly in so many aspects. So, yes, it's true. You'll always be with me like a hand print on my heart.


Thank you. For coming into my life. For staying as long as you did. And for giving it your all like you did. Because of that, today, I can genuinely say that of all the 6.9 billion people on the planet I could have fallen for when I was 17, I'm glad it was you.

First Light Of Day

Today's sunrise was beautiful.




The dawn of a new day,
the promise of a new beginning.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Beautiful World




Artist: Tim Myers
Song Title: A Beautiful World


The children outside all are laughing under perfect skies
The shapes and patterns in this season make me feel alive
I wanna shout it from the roof top and tell the world
That, “I was blind but now I see what’s right in front of me.”

[CHORUS]
It’s a beautiful world I see
Everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see
These moments are changing me
When I look at the sky
I see the reason why I know, oh oh

When I look out from the window
The moon and stars shine all their lights down from the heavens
A choir of angels strike a chord and lift their voices
And then we sing out “I’ve been lost."
"But now I’ve found what’s right in front of me.”

[CHORUS]
It’s a beautiful world I see
Everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see
These moments are changing me
When I look at the sky
I see the reason why I know, oh oh

[CHORUS]
It’s a beautiful world I see
Everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see
These moments are changing me
When I look at the sky
I see the reason why I know, oh oh

[CHORUS]
It’s a beautiful world I see
Everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see
These moments are changing me
When I look at the sky
I see the reason why I know, oh oh
Oh oh, oh mmm...




Captured this beauty in the sky on my drive back to KL during my last trip back to Penang. Turns out there is beauty in everything around me. I've just got to be looking for it at the right places.


Seeing the beauty in life
– it's all about perspective.


Gotta get that right and everything'll look differently. Can't let sorry moments change me for the worst. Gotta keep the good and throw out the bad, and just keep doing that. Just keep doing that, and it'll soon be a beautiful world I see.


This Is Why God Made Girlfriends

To remind you that you're actually not
as terrible as you feel on the inside.


Message edited (more like censored) for relevance.


I want to start seeing me through her eyes. I need to. For my own good. I just don't know how to right now. Cos the girl looking back at me from the mirror, well, she's still not a pretty sight. ='(

Year-End Holidays

...make me blue.


I guess it's all that extra time I've got on my hands. I'm not used to it. My brain's obstinately refusing to idle and is looking for things to digest and dissect. And it sucks that, of all things, it's chosen to start gnawing at the pathetic state of my personal life. Or rather, my lack of a personal life to begin with.


Sigh.

Maybe I shouldn't have taken leave at all.


I mean, I know I fought hard for all four days of it so I'd get 10 work-free days. But now, I'm actually semi-glad I only got 2 working days off. (Sorry, Mee and Dee, it's not you, it's me.) Am actually kinda looking forward to going back to work. At least it'll help take my mind off this crap.


Or maybe it's not the work and it's just cos KL moves at a faster pace than Penang does. And although that's a bad thing most of the time (hell knows I complain about it a lot), maybe it's what's best for me at this point in my life. I mean, it's not like I've got anyone or anything to spend all that extra time on anyways. Might as well put it to good use where I'm wanted and needed. Might as well work my days (and nights) away.


But ahh, I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong about all that, too. Maybe I'm already burnt out and what I really need is a change of environment. Something that'll turn things around and make me feel less blah about life. Maybe Penang is the place for me. Hmmm...


But – scary thought – what if it isn't?


I mean, I can totally see myself happily raising a family of my own on this island I grew up in but... to work? I can't say I'm sure that I'll be happier here than I am in KL. What if I move and I find myself worse off cos I can't get used to the pace or the working environment?


And what about the friendships
I've discovered, built and cultivated in KL?


I've pretty much lost touch with most friends in Penang save for a few stray ones I kept since highschool. The others are already down in KL or are happily pursuing their careers in every other part of the world. So the potential problem that could arrive would be this: What if I come back and discover that I miss my social support group in KL?


But as much as I say that I'll miss the people I've grown to love and cherish in KL, a big part of me just wants to up and run away. Far, far away. To be on the go, in search of fresh prospects. For a clean start. A brand new beginning. Not having to deal with the things, thoughts and people who pull me down, rip my self-esteem to shreds and try to suffocate me emotionally.


Ugh.

As you can probably tell by now,
my head's messed up big time.


It just feels like growing up has taken its toll on me. I feel jaded. And burnt out. On so many levels. I need to find my center. Rediscover my zest for life. Learn to love again. I don't know what it is that I want exactly. All I know is that, at the end of the day, it's gotta spell H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S or else, it's just not good enough. Cos cuilin is right. I deserve the best.


Sigh. I look back at 2009 and I can't say that I'm ecstatic over what I see. So, I look toward 2010. But even then, it looks bleak cos all I see is a long, lonely road ahead. Blah. Can't wait for that journey to begin. -_-

The Morning After Blessings From The North

Courtesy of cuilin.


Indeed, we will be together... one day. With a bond like ours, I'm sure of it. And till that day comes, I'll be missing the both of you dearly. ♥

Forgive & Forget

They say that somehow, it's easier to forgive another than to forgive yourself. In the same way, I think it's easier getting over your disappointment with others, than it is for you to get over the disappointment you feel with yourself – disappointment birthed from being less than who you should be.


Sigh.

I'm disappointed. At myself.

And I can't seem to forget,
much less forgive myself for it.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Philippians 4:6-7

I believe in the Power of His Word
and I believe that His Word is true.


---------------------
Philippians 4:6-7
---------------------

"6 Be anxious for nothing,
but in everything by prayer and supplication,
with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

– New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.


3 years down the line and still so powerful.


God gave me this verse back in December 2006. Since that moment, I've not lived a day without looking at it (I put it on my mobile phone wallpaper) and reminding myself that no matter what, all things will work out for good. And if they don't, I'll be okay. Even if I don't understand the whys and hows of whatever ends up coming my way.