Why Would Best Friends Fall Out?

Somehow or another, the topic of best friends coming and going came up again tonight before bedtime and I told the boys about my one-time best friend Ming, who was still a friend but no longer a "best" friend over the course of time passing. To which, JJ curiously asked:


JJ: Mommy, why isn’t she your best friend anymore?

Pam Song: No particular reason. We just drew apart.

JJ: 😳 Wait. YOU DREW HER BUTT??

😅😅😅

That would totally be a legit reason

for best friends to fall out, I guess. 😂😂😂

VIP Vs CPR

Ethan climbs onto me in bed (as he always likes to do)

and I proceed to pretend to struggle to breathe.

Pam Song: *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*

Ethan: Don’t worry, Mommy! I know VIP!! 😁

Pam Song: 🤨 Baby... It’s called CPR. 😂

VIP... CPR... Close, I guess? 😅

Acronyms Are Confusing

JJ climbs onto me in bed during bedtime and I dramatically pretend to struggle to breathe like the Oscar-winning actress I'm not. 

Pam Song: *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*

JJ: *calmly and reassuringly* Don’t worry, Mommy. I know VIP. 😏

Pam Song: 🤨 Uhhh... Baby, it’s called CPR. 😂

And Again, It Happens

The climb is hard but the fall is easy. Going it alone sounds difficult but together doesn’t seem any easier. So much to do; so little remembered. Always trying, yet always falling short. An hour or two, so short it feels; an hour or two, so long it seems. Funny how “I don’t believe you,” sounds just like, “You don’t trust me,” except with different words. Funny how it isn’t funny. And again, giving up sounds bad but could be for the better.

Best Friends Come & Best Friends Go

JZ made a best friend in school when he was in Year 2. A nice Taiwanese boy with a smiley disposition. During the two years that they spent together as classmates, the boys were thick as thieves. They played really well together and enjoyed each others' company a lot, in and out of school. His mom and I were friends so we were comfortable setting up playdates for the children over the weekends and during the holidays, too.

They both stayed best of friends all the way till the end of Year 3 when, very unfortunately, this friend moved to another school across the state. When his mom first broke the news to me, I was stunned and overwhelmed with emotions. I didn't know how JZ would take it! Later in the week, this friend made sure to let JZ be the first to know that he was leaving the school. It was a sad day that was heartbreaking for both to say the least. 💔

I was so desperate to help ease JZ's pain of losing yet another best friend 😩 that I reached out to two old friends to help me offer him some words of comfort and prove to him that friendships do last when both parties put in the effort to keep in touch no matter how many years have passed or how many state lines and immigration counters stood between us. 

Two of my oldest friends in the world (we've known each other since nursery!) came to the rescue with kind words of encouragement for JZ 🥰 on the 6th of May 2021 – the day he heard the news. At the time, this boy and his family had plans to return to Taiwan. Thankfully, that plan was shelved. 😅 #smallmercies

In hindsight, it was really unfortunate that the boys had to spend so many precious months apart due to the nationwide lockdown and COVID-19 school closures all through 2020 and 2021. Even when school eventually reopened for in-face studies, the boys were intentionally kept apart in class by their teachers because, well, best friends tend to chat when they sit side by side so... yeah. 😅 Only once did they get a week to sit together in the entire school year seating rotation. 😢

But of course, Time heals all wounds. ❤️‍🩹 The boys do still play well together whenever they have the chance to meet, which is rare nowadays with everybody's busy and clashing schedules. Having said that, I should really put in the effort to plan another playdate for him someday soon but am so unmotivated due to COVID risk, a lack of a live-in helper to help clean up after, and just general laziness and unsociability on my part. 😩 

In the mean time, JZ has come to accept this shift in his relationship with his once-best friend. He has yet to find a new best friend but is also not short of friends in school so... I guess it's alright. It'll be alright. He will be alright. Because no matter who comes and goes, he will always have JJ, Papa and me. 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 #wearefamily

Living In A World Where You Can Buy RM2,000 Cars You Can't Gift-Wrap 🎁

Ethan's turning 7 next month. This boy never wastes an opportunity to ask for a gift so, as per his usual pre-birthday MO, Ethan put on his biggest, brightest, most-charming smile and asked:


Ethan: Papa. what are you getting me for my birthday? 😁

The Husband: What you want?

Ethan: A car!

The Husband: What kind of car?

Ethan: This car!! *points to The Husband’s car*

Caden: Are you crazy??

Pam Song: 🤨 You can’t even drive yet.

Caden: Yeah!! Plus, it costs like, RM2,000 or something!! (LOL. If only. 😅)

Ethan: Oh ya... Plus, they can’t wrap it. 🎁

😂😂😂

#kidlogic #8yowisdom

I Smell Weird

I was all stuffed into my bed for a cosy, cuddly, snuggly bedtime with the boys. JJ had his head propped on my right shoulder while JZ had his arms and legs wrapped around my left hand. Suddenly, JZ said...

JZ: *sniffs my shoulder* Mommy, you smell weird. 

Pam Song: *incredulously* WHAT?! No way! 

JZ: Yes! It’s weird. 

JJ: *protectively* No!! Mommy doesn’t smell weird!! Mommy always smells nice! Right, Mommy?

Pam Song: Of course! 😤

JZ: *insisting* Nooooo... It’s weird!!

Pam Song: Fine! Then I smell like what??

JZ: Like... like... honey and flowers. 🍯💐 

Pam Song: 😳

So, dear future daughter-in-law, if ever my son tells you that you smell weird, it's okay. Don't take his comment as criticism. You probably just smell like honey and flowers. 😅😆

Empty Nest

Not a sound, not a boom, 

Deathly silent like a tomb. 

Home for four, but now homes two, 

Quiet house, empty rooms.

My Husband Is Better Than Yours

Some husbands shower their wives

with flowers as an expression of their love. 💐

My husband changed the game. 🤩

Oh yeah... #myhusbandisbetterthanyours

p/s: This is not an ad. 😂

Had To Stop For A Picture...

...because some afternoons are just

more breathtaking than others. 🤩

#seasunsky #islandlife #PenangIsland 🏝️

Oh Where Oh Where Have My Babies Gone?

#throwback to #29December2014

Oh, how I miss those cuddly baby days. 👶🏻🤱🏻

The Cook & The Cleaner

Woke up with the world on my shoulders.

Kids are on their last pair of sports clothes. 😱 (That has officially been their lockdown uniform so Mommy doesn't have to do so much ironing. 🤪) They've also just left for tennis class. That means they would have left my home well-fed... and will return home as hot, tired, hungry monsters. 😈

That means I have about an hour and a half to

get the laundry done and put lunch on the table.

Top: First load of sportswear is already spinning in the dryer.

Bottom: Second load of whites are currently in the wash.

Third load of multi-coloured and darks are waiting to go in.

Two more loads of lights and darks to be run on gentle setting.

That's FIVE loads of laundry to tackle in one morning.

Thank goodness it's not towels and bedsheets day, too. 😅

Oh, but laundry isn't all there is to do, right?

A sink full of dirty dishes.

A semi-frozen, unwashed, uncut, uncooked lunch.

So much to do, so little time. But somehow, it's all possible when I have the whole house to myself and my EarPods in place. Yes, housekeeping is relaxing, laundry is therapeutic and cooking is enjoyable... when there's no one else at home but me. 😅 #truestory #nomommymommymommy #gameon

Lessons From A Lovely Night

Without the dark, we'd never see the brilliance of the moon.

In the same way, without trials and challenges in life,

one would never know the strength one possesses. 😏😉💪

Build The Bridge To Bridge The Gap

"God doesn’t like our pain either, but His plan for us is better than our just escaping it. 

He wants to heal us and redeem us, providing each of His children with an active hope and eternal comfort. But we can’t always see the ways He’s doing this, and many times we may wonder if we’re still on His agenda at all. This is why we need strength and courage too — to bridge the gap between hurt and healed. 

God tells us to be strong and courageous because He knows we will want to listen to the pain rather than to His promises. He knows we will want to find our own solutions and escape routes, and He understands we will struggle to trust His plan is good when it feels anything but. Our fear is not a surprise to Him, which means He has anticipated it and prepared for it with the gift of His Word. Because of these promises, we can be brave."

– Kaitlin Wernet, from The Book of Comforts

by Caleb Faires, Rebecca Faires,

Kaitlin Wernet, Cymone Wilder.

--------------

We need strength and courage to bridge the gap

between hurt and healed, said she.

WOW. And indeed we do.

Well said and beautifully worded.

For the journey is long, and hard, and tough, and tiring. Sometimes, painful; often, lonely. So yes, having walked a short mile on this path the Lord has set me on, I have to agree – strength and courage is the name of this wretched game. 

I think I took my first diagnosis moderately well.

I accepted my fate, trusted my doctors, did everything that was prescribed, and adapted to life as a survivor. I praised God throughout and was pretty calm about the whole situation, believing that what we were doing would be enough to keep Cancer at bay and that this was a one-off occurrence that we could put behind us after I was done with treatment. But then...

During a scheduled 6-month CT the moment I was done

with my year-long treatment plan, they found a new lump.

Another biopsy and a stressfully long wait later,

our worst fears were confirmed and had come back to haunt us

– the cancer had semi returned in the form of a DCIS.

During this time, I went through a handful of bluesy days. I was downcast and depressed. To sum it up in a word, what I felt then was hopelessness. But God brought our SIBKL cell, Faithful Friends, into my life for such a time as this. They arranged a Spirit-led Zoom call that shook me up, lifted my spirit, and brought me back from the horrible depths of hopeless desolation. 

It was after that that my perspective shifted.

I now believe that the fight with Cancer is ultimately an endurance game. A test of mental, physical and spiritual stamina. An Ironman multi-athlon of sorts, which puts your body, mind and spirit through the ultimate test of grit, tenacity, determination, long-suffering, patience, and perseverance. 

How many times can you get back up again when avalanche after avalanche of bad news hits often and hard, when wave after wave of physical suffering and pain tries its best to knock you down, and when tsunami after tsunami of medical bills attempt to financially drown you? How many times can you just. keep. on. going? How many times must you keep on going?

The answer is – Every. Single. Time.

It's not enough to be positive, joyful and faithful the first time around. You have to get into the right mindset every single day. BUT... how do you slay negativity, find joy and keep the faith in the thick of tribulation? When faced with sickness, pain, suffering, and possibly even death? 

Well, it's not easy, I'll tell you that.

But it's not impossible.

How can I be so sure? 

Because God is good. And He is faithful. And His Word tells us that He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. AND EVEN WHEN – not if but WHEN, says the Bible – we are tempted at some point or another – to give up, to give in and to just surrender and quit (it's true, I've been there 😔) – the beauty of it all is that He will also provide a way out so that we can endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Your job, as you wait upon the Lord,

is to be strong and courageous (1 Chronicles 22:13),

not lose heart, and make this season of renewal and purification

for the sake of eternity really count (2 Corinthians 4:16-17).

However tough, trying, demotivating and difficult your situation right now, remember: Your suffering is never in vain. God is using your pain for a purpose – to mould you, shape you and refine you. To get you from where you are, to where you should be. More importantly, to bridge the gap between who you are and who you should be. 

Whatever you're going through, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords has deemed you able. And if He thinks you can do it, cummon! You. can. do. it! Fight the good fight and finish the race having kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7)! The best part of it all is that you don't have to do it alone. For His promise is that He will never leave you nor forsake you. 

God gives His toughest battles to

His strongest soldiers. And don't worry.

He never abandons them on the battleground, ok.

So, friend... as you brave this fight with cancer, remember that you. are. not. alone. He is with you and for you, so nothing can be against you (Romans 8:31). And if you're a survivor and need a friend to pray and journey along with you, write me.

My New Normal

Whilst everyone is talking about adjusting to life post-COVID and adapting to the new normal of temperature taking, mask wearing and hand sanitising, the "new normal" for post-chemo patients like myself... is this somewhat different.

I have trouble concentrating whenever the kids tell me things without getting straight to the point. 

My friends talk about conversations I don't remember being a part of. 

I ask people questions then immediately, doubt sets in and I quickly qualify myself because deep down inside, I don't know if I've already asked those questions once before. 

I boil eggs on the stove and completely forget about them 2 seconds later unless I set an alarm on my watch for 10 minutes. After it rings, I may forget again.

I also have a recurring alarm to remind me to take my Femara at 11am daily. Even then, I sometimes forget and end up taking it at 10pm instead. 😣 That is, IF I happen to spot my pill caddy while walking about. 

I walk around the living room sofa numerous times in confusion (and semi frustration) before I remember I actually first stood up to look for the fan remote. 🤦‍♀️

I watch movies and the actors/actresses look familiar but I can't name them or remember the titles of other movies they've acted in. 🤔

I see a face in my mind but can't for the life of me remember its name or context. I get this feeling that it's somewhere riiiiiightttt there – lost in the fog – but it isn't. Or is it? 🤷‍♀️

I pick up my phone to reply a text but stare at it for awhile before choosing a song to play instead, only to remember hours later, or sometimes never.

I forget lyrics I once knew by heart and I can't seem to remember the lyrics of new songs no matter how many times I listen to them. 

And the list goes on and on.

It's debilitating. Confusing. Frustrating. Humbling. It causes me to doubt myself. A lot. It affects every part of my life and I don't see a way out of this foggy mess that is now my mind, which seems out to cheat on me and lie to me every single day. Memory recall is either bad or non-existent altogether. Short-term memory is sh*t, too, and the constant mental fog is just plain frustrating.

You know, I used to be really good at remembering he-said she-said conversations but I feel those memories don't stay with me very long now. I find myself struggling with missing pockets in every conversation, and some scenes turn foggy altogether. In an I'm-not-sure-it-even-happened kinda way. 😓 So how do I make new memories post-chemo? How can I be sure of the validity of those that came before? I don't know. 

#chemobrain – the struggle is real. 😢

Philippians 1:21

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

– Philippians 1:21

--------

Paul was right. His Word is true.

To die is gain.

Thinking The Right Thoughts; Asking The Right Questions

I don’t consider myself an exceptionally deep thinker. Sure, I think a lot about a lot of things. But only in the way that many thoughts cross my mind often about many things – some trivial, some mindless, some pointless, some not.

What day is it today?

Have I washed the kids’ uniforms?

What should I cook for lunch?

When will my Tesco order arrive?

Do the kids have any glue stick left?

Why does my left wrist hurt?

When is my next doctor’s appointment? 

But that’s about it most days. Just random thoughts that ebb and flow from one to another without great consequence in the grand scheme of things. Neither fun nor depressive; only mundane. 

Most days, I am kept busy with the house and the kids. Freelance work has also been taking up quite a bit of mind-space of late so that’s been a welcomed escape from the humdrum of SAHM life. Usually, this is enough to take me from Wake to Sleep without break or rest. 

But there are days when

this one evil thought rears it ugly head.

When the dishes are piled high in the sink, when the laundry is yet to be done, when the trash hasn’t been taken out, when I can’t see my dining table under all the home-learning mess, when the kids misbehave, when relationships sour, when Me Time is scarce… it’s there.

“What is the point?”

What is the point of it all? What is the point of being alive? What is the point of surviving cancer only to be faced with an overflowing kitchen sink every single day? What is the point of living if all there is in store for me is to be a slave to everyone else around me? What is the point of persisting if all there is to look forward to is punishment? 

And just as I think it, I chastise myself for it.

How could I even think such a thing?? How dare I!

After all that has been done to keep me from death.

All the money spent – hundreds of thousands in surgery, treatment and follow-up costs. All the people inconvenienced – to cook and clean and help with the kids during my downtime. All that time lost – especially with my growing-up children whose childhoods feel nearly over. All the prayers prayed – so many of them whispered, yet answered all the same. 

It stabs me with such guilt that it tears me up inside and stops me in my tracks, rendering me unable to move forward without attempting (sometimes in vain) to silence the thought and beg the Lord for forgiveness.

It instantly makes me feel like I’m the most ungrateful person on the planet – ungrateful for the life that I’ve been so fortunate to have. For the extension of Life itself that I am so blessed to be given in spite of the tribulations I’ve been through, and the challenges I still endure, and the trials I have yet to face.

Unfortunately, if I'm being honest,

it isn't just once that I've thought it. 😔

When life gets hard and everything seems to be going wrong, it comes knocking at the corners of my mind. More frequently than I’d like these days, no thanks to the lack of pleasantly distracting activities and socially rewarding outlets due to the return of MCO 3.0.

Perhaps all this negativity will stop when lockdown eases and normalcy resumes. Maybe I'll stop thinking this way when my world goes back to being bigger than the confines of my home. I guess a visit to the mall for some window-shopping will help, too. Oh, and I know good food and easy chit-chat in the company of friends definitely will. 

But deep in my heart, I know, I know, I know that at the end of the day, the problem boils down to this: I'm asking the wrong question. So, the only way to stop this crippling guilt and depressing spiral is to change the question altogether. And if I get the question right, it'll all be alright.

Stop asking, "What is the point?"

Start asking, "What is my purpose?"

Then & Now

Now that a year has passed and old wounds have healed, my perception of my chemo downtime has also changed. Instead of remembering 5 months of IVs, swollen veins, bruising, nausea, indigestion, tiredness, loneliness and involuntary isolation, I now look back on those days quite fondly. 

I remember keeping to myself for the most part of every day. Just waking, lazing, eating, sleeping, showering, listening to music, watching mukbang videos, reading the Bible and even just staring into space and zoning out until I fall asleep in my room. Rinse and repeat; day in and day out. 

I’d spend hours picking up and sorting out the hair I’d lost, too. It was surreal and cathartic to feel the loose strands in my hands, attached to nothing. I remember thinking about how slippery hair actually is. The smoothness of every fibre. But only from one direction; coarse from the other. 

I did this every night. Patiently. Painstakingly. Diligently. I’d align every strand, tie them together with a rubber band and put them away in a box – storing them for goodness knows what. Just me clinging on to some semblance of my past before Life did a 180º and landed me where I was – sick and sitting in a room all alone, sorting fallen hair. It was mind-numbing work. But very therapeutic all the same. 

I miss that monotony now.

The quiet. The solitude.

The peace in my heart.

Finding peace has been difficult lately;

this weekend, especially.

I feel frustrated. Easily irritated. Fed up with everything. I’m angry. I’m also angry that I’m angry. At what, I do not know. I’m sad. Depressed. I feel this great unhappiness hanging over my head and weighing down my heart. Unhappiness over what? Everything and nothing. 

A super long, extra steaming hot shower helps relax me somewhat. Watching Korean dramas on Netflix offer some relief, too. Blogging, even more so. But then... it’s always fleeting. Because one cannot shower, Netflix and blog forever. 

So. Very. Tired.

I've always said this:

"I don't want to survive cancer,

only to be killed by Covid."

Unfortunately, the journey from being "unvaccinated" to becoming "vaccinated" in Malaysia is a long and exhausting one. Even if you're being treated with a whole bunch of meds and have got a history of critical illness. 😞

Dermatology Wing, Penang General Hospital.

It feels like I've been everywhere today but have gotten nowhere at the same time. Stuck in some kind of sadistic limbo with clear goals in mind but none of them reached. Much like how it feels like the entire nation has been in a seemingly perpetual state of some form of lockdown or another for over a year now, but has far from contained the spread of COVID-19. 🦠 

It's taking forever for the elderly to be inoculated. (I'm told that in Penang, we're still at those 79 and above.) Vaccines are insufficient. (Private hospital PPVs are on standby but have yet to receive their share of the vaccines from the government.) Frontliners are overworked and tired. (My cousin is a dentist in Kapit and she's been put on Covid duty for awhile now; how crazy is that?)

When will the wait end? When will I be called? When will Malaysia achieve herd immunity? When will life go back to normal? Will life ever go back to normal? Aih. Who knows, man. Who knows. Am tired after today's runarounds. Body tired; brain also tired. Don't want to think liao.

I ❤️ U

JJ: Will you be my mummy forever?

Pam Song: I will. #momvows

And then he put a ring on it. 💍🥰

God didn’t give me girls. But He more than made up for it by blessing me with this funny, artsy, giggly, loving, homemade-jewellery-gifting second son. I liked the first ring he gave me. But I think I love this one more. 🥰

Non-Monday Blues

What does it mean when you feel neck deep in

Monday morning blues on a Friday night? 🌊

--------

Currently listening to Lean On Me (기대) by Jeon Sang Keun (전상근) on repeat. So many feels though I'm not 100% sure what the lyrics really mean. My Korean is K-drama-level pathetic and Google – like everything else – is intent on failing me tonight so I can't find out for sure either. But... it sure does seem to sound the way I feel inside – blue. 😞 

Someone... anyone...

Accurately translate this song for me please?

*crickets*

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Yup. Guessed as much.

No one reads this blog anymore.

#foreveralone

Long Time Since, Long Time Till...

I've been doing my best to avoid all things raw (save for salads 🍃🌿) since my diagnosis. Sad to have to do so but I guess to err on the side of caution would be better than to take a leap of faith when it comes to things like these. Chemo kickstarted me on this journey back in August 2019, and I've just continued to deny myself, ignore all cravings and keep at it... 

...till tonight. 😈

3-slice Salmon Sashimi @ Isogin Japanese Restaurant.

SOOOOO GOOD. Other places, I wouldn't dare lah. Especially in Penang. 😔 But here at Isogin... well, all I can say is that it pays to chummy up with the owner and chef so you know when the latest shipment of raw goodies come in. Haha. 

5ct Ring From JJ

A precious gift of an (imaginary) precious stone ring

from a precious little one after school. 💍💎

A true gem from a heart of gold, duncha think?

This mommy’s heart is full. 🥰❤️

Testimony: The Missing Piece

It's 12.22am as I begin writing this.

It's late and I really should be in bed,

but I felt that this couldn't wait.

I wanted to write out this testimony

before I forget the details.

#chemobrain #thestruggleisreal

--------

I bought a 2000-piece jigsaw puzzle last Saturday. I've been happily working on it for the last 3 days and as I neared the end of the first half of the puzzle today, I began to realise that I could be missing a piece. (I worked on them by colour so I could kind of tell.)

Well, I reached the end of the first thousand after dinner today, and true enough, one piece was missing. 🧩 NooOOooOooOooooo!!! You know how it is with jigsaw puzzles... a single lost piece and that's it. You're screwed. 😣

The missing piece.

I panicked. Got super upset with myself. I grabbed our brightest torchlight and started hunting high and low. Dug around the sofa, checked under the beds, and looked under the tables – nada. All I found was dust and two stray pieces of the boys' Lego. 😩

I got so desperate I even went online, googled the manufacturer (Pintoo) and went into the customer support page to ask if I could purchase the missing piece. I even contemplated buying another full box because there was an Amazon "Buy Now" button sitting right there to tempt me. 🙈🙉🙊


Shen helped me look for awhile, too, then asked me to pray. So, I said a silent prayer – a desperate plea for God to step in and offer me some help 😅 – and went about looking again. Frustration overwhelmed me. I was angry, hot, flustered, and so super upset. 

Worst thing was, our daily helper came by today.

I worried that she might have cleared it away. 😰

I texted her – hoping she didn't vacuum it up and toss it into the bin. She said that she didn't. That offered me some relief and I believed her cos while she was cleaning, she did ask me where I bought my puzzle and said she liked puzzles, too. So... with an appreciation for jigsaw puzzles, I wouldn't think she would have thrown it away lah. Fingers crossed. 🤞


I asked that she help me lift or move the sofa the next time she comes so I can look under it properly. That was my only hope. I'd looked everywhere possible. That was the only place I couldn't reach nor see. So, I had to wait. Sigh. And I resigned myself to the fact that I won't find the missing piece until then. 😞

BUT THEN...

Before I went to bed, I decided to take one last look around. I checked the desk and the box. And I saw the second half of the puzzle, which I hadn't touched, still in its bag. I thought to myself – "Forget it la. What's the point of finishing the puzzle now when it can't even be completed." 😞

But then a part of me also felt that maybe – just maybe – they packed it wrong? Maybe my missing piece wasn't "missing" after all and that it was in the other bag I hadn't opened?? #hopeful 😁 #delusional 😅

So, I decided to open it up. While I poured out the 1000 pieces, I shook the bag to make sure every last piece came out. It was then that it suddenly dawned upon me that maybe I didn't shake the bag the first round because I was so excited to start working on it!! 😱

So, I immediately dug through my trash. And guess what? It was. Right. There. Sitting in one corner of the crumpled up plastic baggie it came in. The same one that I had already thrown into the bin and covered up with other bits of trash from other days past.

Now, here's the super duper miracle. The helper forgot to take out the trash in my room today. Just like she did on Saturday when she came, too!! I was just complaining to JJ about it earlier this afternoon – saying that she forgot to take out my trash AGAIN today.

Well, God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?

If she had taken out the trash last Saturday, that puzzle would have been long gone. 🗑️ (I grumbled about it then.) If she had done it today when she came again, it would also have been gone. 🗑️ (I also complained about it today.)

I'm also usually quite fussy and I would have tossed out the trash myself in a huff if she had forgotten. I did that the other times she forgot. But I didn't this time. No idea why. 🤷‍♀️ I just didn't. Maybe I was too busy dedicating any free time I could spare with fixing the puzzle. Haha. 

So, yes. God answered my simple but desperate prayer tonight. Over one little, tiny piece of jigsaw puzzle. 🧩 Quite insignificant in the big scheme of things but important to me nonetheless. Truly, our God is the God of both, the big things, and the little things in our lives. What's important to you, is important to Him. 

My other lesson learnt tonight is this: no matter how impossible or forlorn of hope the situation, we should never give up. I was already on the verge of packing it all up and shelving the puzzle. But if I had surrendered to my situation and decided that this lost piece made the whole puzzle a lost cause, then I would never have had the epiphany that the missing piece was still in the bag. 

It's also important to note that all in all, it took two mishaps for my miracle to take place at the end of the day. (The helper forgetting to take out the trash – not once, but twice!) If those two "bad things" hadn't happened earlier on, I wouldn't have gotten my miracle anyway.

The problem with us humans is that while we're in the middle of our pain, and in the thick of our troubles, we often complain, grumble and gripe. Simply because we cannot understand the hows and whys, and don't see the ending yet.


But it doesn't have to be that way. Life may not be perfect. But we don't have to grumble, struggle and hate the journey. If we could only choose to rest in Him, and see all our pain as a necessary part of God's good, greater, perfect plan, we wouldn't beat ourselves up over things as much. 

So, if there's a takeaway from this missing puzzle testimony, it's this: whatever your troubles and whatever tough times you're going through, take heart and do not give up!! God is working in ways we do not understand – AMEN! 🙏