Working Class Citizen

Yup! Friend has gone back to full-time work. 😁

It's been a little over 2 months since I've returned to working full time – albeit in a mostly WFH setting – but I'm really quite enjoying this new-old phase of my life. 

Overall, it's been good! Working and having a life outside of mommy-hood is very psychologically and emotionally rewarding for me. I feel purposeful and empowered. I feel "useful" – for lack of a better word. Like I'm finally utilising my brain, talents and skills in a meaningful and contributive way. 

I know, I know. Raising humans is purposeful work that requires brain, talent and skill, as well. (Not to mention immense love, dedication and patience! 😆) Especially so if you want to raise good, godly human beings who will contribute positively to society in time to come. 

BUT BUT BUT... it's just not the same. FTWM projects are sprinkled with deadlines that come and go swiftly. Raising kids, on the other hand, is a lifelong process with no checklist in sight. #ilovemychecklist (Yes, even when they're 55 and retired, I'm sure there will still be some measure of mothering to be done. 🤭) 

The SAHM life is really not for me lah.

Even though I kept myself busy semi-freelancing, selling YLEO, undergoing chemo to save my life and running GiftAGift.my all through my years of SAHM-ness, I mostly still felt... lost. Purposeless. Stifled and suffocated. Like I'm always in a rut, living each day on my hamster wheel – running endlessly while getting nowhere. Just doing unseen things for others and not being recognised and rewarded for my efforts.

So, going back to work has

been welcomed change for me!

Of course, I initially worried about not being able to keep up after being away from the industry for so long. But now, after being back for awhile, I feel like I've found my stride and I'm doing alright la. HAHA. #shameless I wake up each morning with purpose, ready to face the day and start ticking off the to-dos on my list. #todolistsrock


Naturally, juggling work and family is no easy feat that's exceedingly demanding at times. There are days when I feel frazzled and stretched thin from meeting deadlines whilst still ensuring that dinner is on the table by 7pm. But I've come to realise that it's worth it. Because at the end of a busy day, I always feel tired... but accomplished. 💪

It's not about the paycheque (bluffing you la, of course earn money syok also la 🤭), it's not about seeking external validation (but also happy when proposals fly and jobs cepat-cepat get approved, too 🤣) but rather, it's about feeling valued and appreciated for what I bring to the table. #truth

And at the end of the day, I strongly believe that being a happy and fulfilled individual makes me a better person... and a better mom. Don't get me wrong. I have no regrets putting my career on hold to raise my children this past decade. But now that they're a little more grown up, and especially after having survived cancer (twice!) I think it's time I start investing a bit more in Me once again.

To the next chapter! 🥂

My Boys Are Growing Up

It just dawned upon me that JJ will be 9 come September and JZ is turning 11 in November. 😳 How did that happen?? Where did my babies go?! Gosh. This year has really been a year of growing up for my boys. 

JJ just returned from his first residential last week and spent one night away from home. I made the effort to walk him to class that morning during drop-off but he didn't even hug my goodbye before we parted ways. 💔 Fella just hopped into class and started playing with friends the morning I dropped him off. 😤 #melampaubetulbudakini #bochaiwa #koayhoon #nomorehugandakiss 😢 

JZ, on the other hand, flew to BKK with the school team for FOBISIA for 4 days and 3 nights in early May – his first local-international-go-anywhere trip without us. ✈️ Came back safe and sound and even thoughtfully bought gifts for all of us! A pack of gummies for Didi, a fridge magnet for Mommy and a toothbrush for Papa. 😂 He also somehow also miraculously managed to come home with more money than he left with, in spite of doing that bit of shopping for souvenirs. 😳😅 #whatsorceryisthis #moneymagic #businessminded #gotitfromhisdad 

I feel like over the years, my children's independence has somehow become intertwined with mine. Or more like my independence has grown to become dependent on theirs. The more capable they are at caring for themselves, the more time I have to care for myself. Once, I was a carer; today, I am a supporter standing on the sidelines cheering them on while they spread their wings, claim their place in the world and shine all on their own. 

 Yes, my role has shifted.

But I'm not complaining. 😆

I do enjoy momsing... but I also find myself genuinely looking forward to this change in pace and responsibility. I'm ready! To embrace my newfound freedom from the daily demands of parenting, to rediscover the joy of personal growth, and to find fulfilment in this next chapter of my life. It’s time to get back to hanging out with friends, exploring my interests, rediscovering my identity beyond parenthood, and investing in my well-being! (Read: Facials! Manicures! Massages! Hair spas! Hooray!) 

 Here's to their independence... and mine! 🥂🥳

The Little Twist Tie That Wrapped Itself Around My Heart

Last week while I was on a work call, JJ quietly crept into my room handed me this little heart he made out of twist tie and immediately tiptoed out without making a sound. 🤫

It made me smile cos only he would do something like this. 🥰 

I didn't have the time to take a proper pic when it happened so I no longer remember the exact date, but I'm blogging this now so I remember that it happened anyway. That in the middle of a busy work day, my almost-9-year-old took the time to tell me that he loves me... without having to say a word. ❤️

Quick Life Update

It's been awhile since I've been consistently active here 

on TinkiTalks but so much has happened nonetheless. 

The kids are growing up (JJ is turning 9 come September and JZ is turning 11 in November!), I've gone back to full-time work (it's been 2 months of WFH!), the in-laws have moved in (temporarily while their home reno is ongoing)... yup! Lots happening on this end.

I feel saddened by the fact that 

my memories are not being logged and that

the good times are just passing me by.

But the busyness of life is so all-consuming and blogging isn't as convenient as it used to be. Unlike the days of past when I was physically at the office, whenever I don't have to attend to work now, I have to be away from the comp catching up on GiftAGift.my stuff and getting everything else done around the home.

I keep telling myself that I still have pictures to remind me of the little moments that bring me joy so that when I actually do find the time to blog, I'll still be able to play catch-up with my posts. But... life always get in the way and my memory is sh*t so the plan hardly ever works. 😩

So how, I ask you??

Move my life to Instagram? 🤔

Yerrr...

#bloggerforlife 😂

Ironic > Annoyed > Hurt

Ironic…

 …how no one notices when I do,

but all notice it when I don’t. 😒

Annoying…

 …that no one notices when I do,

and all notice it when I don’t. 😠

Hurtful… 

 …because no one notices when I do;

they only notice it when I don’t. 😞

The Parental Guide to Answering Unanswerable Questions

And so, after a busy and tiring day, it was bedtime again in the Kan household. It was late and I was JUST. SO. READY. for the kids to quieten down and knock out (so I can sneak a wee bit of Me Time before I crash 😝). But right after turning off the lights, Ethan goes, "Mommy..."

🙄

Aiyoooo... This boy really has a knack of talking when he shouldn't. In fact, he talks the most during meal times and bedtimes. Tsk. Anyway, without waiting for me to respond, he cepat-cepat asked his question...

"If a person is fat, does that mean

they have more blood?" 🩸

😳

*blink blink*

Hmmm... Truth be told, I have no idea. LOL. Logically I suppose that makes sense? But I don't know for sure and I just couldn't be bothered to Google at the time because... well, late already la kan. So, I snuck him this reply instead:

"Ooo... Good question!

I can't wait for you to find out and tell me!"

😅😂

Satisfied that he had thought of a good question, he went to bed. Haha! Works every time. 😎 So, if your kid ever asks you questions you don't know the answers to, you know what to do. Happy parenting!

Quit Playin' Games With My Heart

The boys have been begging us for a pet for a long while now. And not like a guppy or a terrapin that you contain in a glass box and feed once a day. No, no. They want a cat. 😺 Or a dog. 🐶 Like, wth? I blame all those playdates at friends' houses. One of JZ's friends has 7 pets of various kinds. Another has a new British Shorthair kitten. Craziest story is this: One of JJ's buddies has *drumroll please* 28 cats in his condo. 😵😵‍💫 #siaoliao


While The Husband (who's never really had a pet) is leaning towards ok-ing idea, I, on the other hand am not. Pets are A LOT of work! Living with two sporty pre-teens without a live-in helper is enough work as it is. I am not at all motivated to add more things to my to-do, to-wash and to-clean list, thank you. These people don't clear, wash and clean so they don't understand the amount of work that already comes with running a household of 2 adults and 2 kids. 😤 

Now, you wanna make it

4 adults and 2 kids PLUS 1 pet??

Aiya, mai laaaaa...

Don't trouble Trouble if Trouble 

hasn't trouble you la, come on! 😩

We visited CTY in Penang once with the intention of getting a pup for the boys. But after seeing the dogs step all over their poop, The Husband quickly made a mental U-turn and changed his mind. But today, while heading towards DPULZE Shopping Mall, Cyberjaya (that also has a big pet store), this conversation ensued:

The Husband: Ok la, boys! Let’s go get a dog! 

 JZ & JJ: Yayyyy!!! 

 The Husband: We buy from DPULZE! 

 JZ & JJ: Yayyyy!!!

 The Husband: Just kidding. 

 JZ & JJ: Booooo… 

JZ: Papa, if you want to say anything, and it’s a lie, don’t say it. Because you make us excited. Then you break our hearts. 

 JJ: Words of wisdom, Kor Kor. 

 The Husband: Haha. Okay. Sorry. 

 JJ: Yes. Then you make us want to cry and die.

😅😅😅

Needless to say, we left DPULZE without a pet.

You know, it's too bad my boys 

aren't familiar with the Backstreet Boys.

Otherwise, they'd be singing this tune right about now:

"Quit playin' games with my heart 

Before you tear us apart (my heart) 

Quit playin' games with my heart 

I should've known from the start 

You know you got to stop (from my heart) 

You're tearing us apart (my heart) 

Quit playin' games with my heart:

– Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)

by Backstreet Boys

Me, I'm definitely more of a dog person than a cat person.

And I do secretly love the idea of having a puppy at home. 🤫

But I've been there and done that with Princess. 🥲 I now understand that although having a pet has its fun and emotional upsides, the cleaning up after each poo and pee... the weekly baths... the nail-cutting and toothbrushing... the daily feeding and water filling... the inconvenience when going on holidays... and not to mention the heartbreak and emotional trauma that follows in the days after their deaths because, well, we'll definitely outlive our pets at this point... it's just not worth it. 

I would be perfectly happy to go through life

without having to go through all this again.

That's not to say my kids should never get pets. They can get their own pets when they have their own homes. Then I'll go over for some doggy playtime. 😎

Thoughts About Rudeness

In the Disney 1942 animated feature film Bambi, Thumper the bunny wisely said, “If you can’t say somethin' nice, don’t say nothin' at all.” 

That means: don’t be rude. 🙊🤐

He forgot to add, “If you ain't gettin' at decent reply, don’t bother askin' at all.” 

This means: don’t accept rudeness either. 🙉😤